Afternoon Light Shining Through The Spring Forest.

i’ve been on a damian-jason brotherhood kick lately but specifically like. weirdly close damian and jason. codependent to the point where it’s starting to get on the rest of the family’s nerves. they’re used to relying on each other in the league and now that they’re in gotham together they just revert back to their oddly dependant ways and everybody else just watches them coexist in slightly jealous fascination.

-jason tastes every piece of food damian is given to check for poison. even if alfred makes it. its not even a belief that damian could be poisoned, it’s just second nature and damian’s used to handing over a small bite and waiting for the nod to go ahead and eat.

-damian uses jason’s body like a climbing frame whenever he feels like it. they don’t exchange words half the time, he just decides he wants to sit on jason’s shoulders so that’s where he puts himself. jason’s used to being halfway through making himself a coffee and suddenly having to readjust his weight, or hold out an arm so damian can use it as a branch to climb up with. they don’t even notice they do it.

-jason picks damian up from school every day. they go out afterwards just the two of them and never bother inviting the others to eat with them. dick has literally ran into them when they by chance ended up in the same cafe and he watched the two pick a booth as far away from him as possible.

-when people are checking for if jason is around the manor they don’t even bother calling for him, they just ask if damian’s home or not, because if damian isn’t home then jason won’t be either.

-damian knows how to cook exactly one dish and it’s jason’s comfort food.

-one time damian crashed the fuck out at school and refused to come out from under a table, and when the teachers eventually gave up and called his guardian to help handle him, bruce just sighed and said ‘you want his brother’s number, i’ll email you it.’

-damian only ever falls asleep on jason. one time after he fell asleep next to jason on the couch, jason got up to grab a drink and when he got back tim had taken his spot, so he sat on an armchair instead. seven seconds later damian woke up, kicked tim in the side like a rabbit, moved to the armchair with jason, and fell asleep again.

-duke once saw jason tie damian’s shoelaces because damian didn’t want to pause reading a case file to do them himself

-Damian: can somebody help me reach this shelf?

Dick: sure i can-!

Damian: no.

Dick:

Damian: *stares at Jason pointedly*

Jason: ……yeah ok. coming.

Dick:

-one time alfred asked if anyone needed anything from the store and damian declared ‘todd needs new socks.’ and jason just went ‘oh do i?’ and when damian nodded he said to alfred ‘yeah i could do with a pack of socks?’

-jason has kept all of damian’s baby teeth. they’re in a tin kept under his ammo stash.

just those two having a connection that continuously baffles yet resigns the family to the fact that they have to deal with those two codependent idiots 24/7

Floating amongst the stars 💫

losing my mind at this amazing story from r/dndmemes some people’s dnd adventures are just. So Fucking Cool

here’s the link and the story, it’s Amazing

I feel like Jason and Damian would play DnD together and it started at their time in the League. I believe with my whole soul that Jason is just a big nerd, so I think it'd be cute if he showed Damian how to play DnD so he could use his imagination by playing a "childish game" (Damian's words).

When Damian joins the family, they think that he's sneaking out because he doesn't feel comfortable in their home yet, but really he's just meeting up with Red Hood every Thursday to continue their campaign.

Now, nobody knows of their weekly hang outs, even after Jason reconnects with the family. Not even Tim, who is also a huge nerd and has been begging Dick to play DnD with him for years and being constantly be turned down.

Eventually, Jason and Damian are setting up their game and Tim walks in on them.

Tim:

Jason: "It's not what it looks like?"

Tim: *Takes a deep breath* "Are.. are you playing DnD?"

Jason:

Damian: "It's a perfectly acceptable thing to-"

Tim: "YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING DND THIS WHOLE TIME AND YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO INVITE ME??"

Jason: "Uh-"

Tim: "I've been begging- ABSOLUTELY BEGGING Dick to do a campaign with me. I've been rejected too many times to count-"

So now, every Thursday, Jason, Damian, and Tim gather round to play DnD.

A biiiiig stretch

what if when icarus fell apollo caught him before he hit the sea, arms as warm as the sun, but safer.

what if when ariadne cast the rope across a broken branch aphrodite stepped in with a reminder that this, this is not the kind of love you die for.

what if when achilles was ready for war ares appeared with a smile and said “you win well when you win, but what are you unwilling to lose if you lose?” and achilles knew the answer.

if you could retell the tale wouldn’t you want to tell it kinder? wouldn’t you want to give them peace, even love, where you could?

l.s. | I AM TIRED OF RE-WRITING TRAGEDY WITHOUT CHANGE. LET THEM LIVE. LET THEM LEARN. LET THEM LOVE © 2016

A few favorites

luybsanti

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

Headcannon that Alfred has a secret Instagram account. He just posts about the insane household accidents at Wayne Manor with literally no context. 

His most popular post is simply captioned "Master Tim set the kitchen on fire attempting to make toast. Again."

Somehow, the account has over 500,000 followers of people growing increasingly invested.

His other popular posts include:

Muddy footprints acrross a gorgeous ceiling: “I have many questions about how Master Jason's boot prints came to be on the ceiling of the east wing corridor. He refuses to explain beyond claiming it was 'definitely Tim's fault' and that 'gravity was being unreasonable today.' Master Bruce has requested I not ask further questions.”

A photo of numerous coffee mugs hidden in bizarre locations: "The ongoing archaeological expedition to retrieve Master Tim's forgotten coffee cups continues. Today's discoveries included one inside a houseplant, two behind the grandfather clock, and one inexplicably on the chandelier."

A broken window with an arrow through it: "Master Damian's archery practice has once again violated our agreement about 'appropriate indoor activities.' Master Bruce has been informed."

A ceiling covered in colorful splatters: "Master Dick insisted his acrobatic skills would allow him to carry an entire birthday cake while performing a triple somersault. The ceiling disagrees."

An image of a completely disassembled grandfather clock with parts meticulously arranged on the floor: "Master Barbara asked for the time. Master Timothy decided the clock was 'running 0.002 seconds slow' and required immediate intervention. Dinner will be delayed until the main entrance is passable again."

The east wing covered in rubber ducks: “Master Dick claimed it was 'for science.' When pressed further, admitted it was retaliation for Master Jason's previous week's glitter bomb incident. Have scheduled additional therapy sessions for all parties involved.”

Alfred never mentions Batman or vigilante activities, but the posts are so outlandish people straight up have conspiracy theories about them.

Follower: "Time travelers. It's the only explanation for how they survive. They redo the timeline when things go wrong."

@ ManorMishaps: "If time travel were involved, I would hope they'd prevent incidents rather than merely surviving them. The toaster budget alone would benefit from such intervention."

Follower: "Alien research facility. The purple slime? The color-changing ceiling? ALIENS." 

@ ManorMishaps: "I believe you've been watching too many science fiction programs. Though I must admit the ceiling phenomenon continues to baffle our contractor."

Follower: "These are clearly stunt performers for action movies. No normal family could cause this much property damage." 

@ ManorMishaps: "An interesting theory. However, I've yet to see any of our incidents recreated in Hollywood. They lack the imagination."

Follower: "Wait, is that a BATARANG in the background of the third pic???" 

@ ManorMishaps: "I believe you're seeing the shadow of an unusually shaped serving spoon. Nothing to see here."

*inspired by that Obi Wan's false sense of superiority post* What we need is an animated series about the psychologist who has to deal with these sentient tire fires. I mean, I'm a human tire fire and even I get help, these guys have no excuse. It needs to be filmed like The Office and as tongue-in-cheek as possible

Look I would pay real currency to watch a series of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s couples counseling. The angst and the passive-aggressiveness and the “I’m fine it’s fine everything’s fine” “NO IT’S NOT OBI-WAN NOTHING IS FINE”. Or individual Jedi counseling.

Better: I want to watch the documentary/mockumentary made by a GFFA psychologist who embeds themselves with the Jedi Order to better understand how they can all be so chill and collected – What’s their secret? How can we all learn, from their example, to embrace serenity in our own lives? – who eventually, as the documentary wears on, comes to realize that THE JEDI ORDER IS COMPRISED ENTIRELY OF EMOTIONAL TRAINWRECKS.