Mrow

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

Beanie Baby Ampharos 💛

Phantom Manor

Danny had been through a lot. He’d been half-killed in a lab accident, gained ghost powers, and then been chased through the multiverse by a government that would’ve loved to dissect him like a frog in eighth-grade biology. So when the portal spat him out into this dimension—one packed with capes, cowls, metas, and aliens—he figured he’d finally caught a break.

No GIW agents. No Fenton parents shouting about ectoplasmic anomalies. No Skulker showing up to hunt him down in the middle of English class. Just... peace.

Well, almost.

The major snag? He was homeless. Again.

No ID, no money, and the last place he tried to haunt had been a warehouse with exactly three raccoons who did not appreciate his presence. He couldn’t go back to school, didn’t know how to get a job, and sleeping on rooftops got old fast, even for a ghost boy.

That was when Danny heard the most ridiculously useful rumor ever: Billionaire Bruce Wayne had a habit of adopting black-haired, blue-eyed children like it was a competitive sport.

And Danny? Well, he had black hair and blue eyes... at least half the time.

Good enough for government work.

So one night, in the dead of moonlight, Danny phased through the locked gates, passed the high-tech security system, and slipped straight into Wayne Manor. The place was huge, quiet, and oddly comfortable despite its bat-themed overtones. He didn’t even try to sneak around like a spy—he just floated through until he found an empty bedroom with a made bed, thick curtains, and a view of the garden.

He claimed it.

No one said anything.

So Danny just... stayed.

Danny didn’t mean to con anyone. It’s just that no one noticed him. He figured maybe there were already so many black-haired, blue-eyed kids around here that adding one more didn’t even make a blip on the radar. And since Jack and Maddie Fenton may not have taught their kids about interdimensional politics, they did make sure their kids had proper manners.

So, the first time he ate in the massive kitchen, he washed the dishes afterward. Alfred showed up just as Danny was drying the last fork, his sharp eyes watching from the doorway.

“...I see Master Grayson’s taste in midnight snacks has rubbed off on someone,” Alfred remarked.

Danny froze. “Uh—yeah. Sorry. Just thought I’d clean up after myself.”

The butler narrowed his eyes. Then nodded. “A rare instinct in this household. Continue.”

And from then on, it became a routine.

Danny helped in the kitchen. He helped clean the manor. He weeded the garden (phasing out any actual creepy-crawlies). He carried laundry baskets. He repaired a broken picture frame. When one of the Batmobiles needed a patch-up job on a fin, Danny phased into the engine and fixed it from the inside out while humming along to an old Ghostbusters theme remix.

Alfred was absolutely delighted with the newest, polite, respectful, and hard-working “Wayne.” Even if he had no earthly clue when exactly this young man had joined the family.

It took a few weeks before anyone realized something was off.

“Alfred,” Bruce said over breakfast one morning, “why is there an unfamiliar teenage boy pressure-washing the back patio with what looks like... green plasma?”

Alfred sipped his tea without looking up. “That’s Master Daniel. He’s been most helpful.”

“…We don’t have a Master Daniel.”

Alfred finally looked up, deadpan. “Master Bruce, I have tolerated you bringing home orphans like stray cats in the rain. The boy helps clean. He gardens. He fixed the coffee machine. I will not be chasing him out. Adopt him, give him a room, or be quiet about it.”

Bruce blinked. “...Fair.”

Meanwhile, Danny was just glad he hadn’t been blasted with a Batarang on sight.

He had a bed, food, quiet (well, relatively), and access to the Wayne library’s wi-fi. He was pretty sure Damian glared at him more than necessary and that Jason kept trying to figure out if Danny was secretly a zombie, but otherwise?

He was kind of fitting in.

At least until someone walked in on him halfway intangible while reaching through the fridge for leftover pie.

“…Master Daniel,” Alfred said from behind him, entirely unshaken. “If you are going to help with the silverware later, do remember to phase after you wash your hands.”

Danny, still half inside the fridge, stared.

“…Yes, sir.”

And thus, somehow, without anyone signing a single form or asking too many questions, Danny Fenton became the most ghostly Wayne sibling yet.

And honestly?

He was kinda cool with that.

he’s the beauty; she’s the beast

so i’m sure the remake of a timeless classic that disney is about to roll out is going to be great and all

but here’s another way we could do things:

he’s the beauty

she’s the beast

for a movie who’s central theme is inner beauty, it doesn’t really do anything to support that, you know? so how about this: adam, our prince turned beast, isn’t an inhospitable monster. because this back story doesn’t make any sense – why is the young prince of this land alone, in a castle, only to be caught unaware by a witch?

so how about this – this is pseudo france, right, so these royals do what their real life counterparts did. they flee. the cruel, greedy king and queen flee and leave their young son behind with their staff. their son who is kind and soft hearted and totally unfit to rule any kingdom (never mind that they’re literally running away from their own people). not only that – they trade their son for their freedom, trade their kingdom for their freedom. to the witch.

so the witch comes, and she doesn’t disguise herself as a crone, goes to him looking as lovely and young as her magic keeps her. but our prince adam has a talent, one many cast-aside, neglected children have developed – the ability to see people for who they really are, and he knows this is no kind young woman in need of his help. he refuses to let her in – and there’s this little twist to the magic, that she can only enter the palace grounds and claim her prize if she’s welcomed in a as a guest, and he, the young master of this castle, won’t let her in.

Keep reading

MIND HONSE..........

HAPPY PRIDE!! ✨🏳️‍🌈✨ 🌈

Anything for mdzs with Jiang Yanli? Thank you!

a continuation of 1 2

Jiang Yanli doesn't carry a sword.

The only time Lan Wangji sees her with it is when they're practicing sword forms. She manages the stances and moves easily enough, but can't seem to channel a significant amount of cultivation energy through the blade.

Lan Wangji wonders about her bodyguard.

He doesn't participate in the classes, instead standing the back and observing. They'd never even spoken, only exchanged nods as Jiang Yanli had introduced them.

Brother and Uncle are encouraging him to spend time with Jiang Yanli. Apparently the talks between the elders and the Jiang's council are going well.

If they continue to go well, he could find himself engaged by summer's end.

He comes up on a loose crowd of disciples from every sect, tension running high, and he shoulders his way through to see what the fuss is about.

Jiang Yanli is standing there. Her bodyguard, for once, is nowhere to be seen.

Jin Zixun sneers at her. He wants to intervene, but there are Jiang disciples here keeping their distance. "Jiang Yanli. I see you're swordless. Again."

She just raises an eyebrow. Lan Wangji wonders what Jin Zixun hopes to gain by irritating the heir to the Jiang Sect. The Jiangs might not be as rich as the Jins, but their disciples tend to be stronger and the area they control is greater, even though they have less disciples. Pissing them off isn't a good idea.

"Does your sword even have a name?" he taunts. "I don't understand how someone like you can be the heir to the Jiang. Your clan must be so embarrassed by you."

There's a furious fission among the Jiang disciples, but still they hold their place. If Jiang Cheng was here, he imagines this would be going differently, but he's not.

Jiang Yanli tilts her head to the side, a mocking smile curling around her mouth before she turns away from him to walk away.

"Don't turn your back on me!" he shouts, unsheathing his blade and swinging it down in an arc that will embed itself into her spine.

Lan Wangji moves forward to stop it, but he's too late.

Wei Wuxian is standing where he wasn't before, standing in front of Jiang Yanli's back. He's stopped Jin Zixun's blade with the hilt of his still sheathed sword. Just as quickly as he'd moved before, he yanks Jin Zixun's sword from his hand before jamming the hilt of the sword in his solar plexus then sweeping his feet out in front of him. Between one blink and the next Jin Zixun goes from standing, armed and upright, to groaning on his back with his weapon out of reach.

"My sword's name," Jiang Yanli says calmly, having kept her back to the whole exchange, "is Wei Wuxian."

Wei Wuxian winks at him before turning to step next to Jiang Yanli. They walk away from him arm and arm with their heads held high.

Wei Wuxian hadn't even bothered to draw his sword.

by Caitlin

May the 4th Be With You!!!

2022 edition✨

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