Jason Todd As My Experience Getting Glasses:

*Timbern because I'm a slut*

—

Bernard and Tim, playing Minecraft together

Bernard: Hey, hey, Tim.

Tim, trying to make an XP farm work: Yeah?

Bernard, snickering: Can we— Can I put my bed next to yours?

Tim, feigning shock: Before marriage?!

Bernard: Before marriage!

They both laugh hysterically, they've been playing for eight hours straight

—

Tim, screaming: IT'S CHASING ME IT'S CHASING ME IT'S CHASING ME

Bernard: What is it!?

Tim: A CREEPER!

Bernard: Aw, man... HIT AND RUN HIT AND RUN!!!

Tim: IT'S GONNA EXPLODE OH I'M GODS WE'RE GONNA DIE I JUST GOT THE OBSIDIAN OH MY GODS!!!

—

Bernard: Hey, uh, Timboo?

Tim, building their house: Hm?

Bernard: I'm lost.

Tim: How did you get lost? You left three minutes ago!

Bernard: I DON'T know, I am in an unfamiliar area!

Tim: I don't see your nametag.

Bernard: I'm gonna die.

Tim: No, no, we just made iron armor.

Bernard: I'll find my way home, someday, my love!

Tim, looking at their cats: I'm a single Mother now...

Bernard: Wait for me! I'll find my way home— oh, wait, coordinates.

Tim: Huh? Oh, yeah.

—

Bernard: I made the sheep gay.

Tim: You what?

Bernard: I made the sheep gay, I used the nametag and did the trick.

Tim, going to the farm: GAY SHEEP!!!

Bernard: GAY SHEEP!!!

—

Bernard: Hey, hey, Tim.

Tim: What?

Bernard: I found wolves.

Tim: I'll bring the bones!!!

—

Bernard: I made you something.

Tim: What is it?

Bernard, placing a cake down:

Tim:

Bernard:

Tim: Marry me.

—

Bernard:

Tim:

Bernard: I wish I could get you pregnant in Minecraft.

Tim: Didn't you make us in the Sims?

Bernard: Yeah, we're on our fourth child.

Tim: Freak.

Bernard: You make good money as a secret agent, my restaurant is doing well.

Tim: Can you make me become a super villain?

Bernard: Absolutely.

Tim: Nice.

Bernard: As soon as you're off maternity leave.

Tim: F#&% you.

Bernard: Dick keeps coming over though, and I think Jason wants to steal our youngest.

Tim:

—

Tim: We've been playing for... Three days.

Bernard, half awake, mining: Huh? Oh, yeah, we have.

Tim: Should... Should we stop?

Bernard: I mean. What would we do?

Tim:

Bernard:

Tim: Wanna go do a village raid?

Bernard: Hell yeah.

—

You have something that belongs to me.

The world was shaking within a void of Glowing Green as the Justice League was listening on what John was explaining that the Infinite King that supposedly is a Protector has been gone off the rails in straight panic for the past 4 months straight because something very life or very death Important was taken from him and he been on a rampaging hunt throughout the multiverses, literally tearing and reforming them as he went, as John described the tip from Deadman.

Unfortunately, what was important to the Infinite King is on this earth. John immediately cut off Bruce as trying to fight him all together even with Superman that Infinite King would easily squish Superman like a mosquito with only just a tiny breath.

Just let the Infinite King find what he is looking for and pray that it is safely unharmed so we may survive afterward.

That was 3 hours ago after Batman went back to gotham, as Batman stared in horror of a larger then Life elderitch being had both of his arms deep in Jason's chest.

"You have something that belongs to me." The Infinite King hissed.

Just hearing the hitched Gasp in Jason's voice was reeling in the terrible flashback of that night that triggered his fight instinct, only for the very shadows seemingly holding him back by literally force.

Only for the Infinite King to pull out a tiny lararus Pit coated goopey naked 4 year old girl sobbing out daddy with her arms stretched out, doing tiny gimme hands toward the king.

"Oh Ellen..."

Jason's body was seemingly unharmed, beside the raspy breathing that was slowly developing into a hyperventilating hysteria after being chased like a hunted rabbit from a savage starving wolf for three hours straight by this elderitch being in Crime Ally.

The Large humaniod Elderitch being with several glowing green eyes that was a nightmare fuel, mixes together with stars, galaxies, and secrets untold slowly shrank more and more becoming more human in a gruesome fascinating way that would Haunt Bruce's nightmares for years to come.

the Infinite King was now a Teenager with glowing white hair defying gravity, tanned star coated skin, large teaey icy blue eyes in a black winter suit with a DP symbol delicate, holding the whimpering little goopey girl close to his chest, covering her with a star covered cape now blanket as he kissed her forehead looking at Jason.

"Jason Peter Todd, I am sincerely thank you for letting my daughter possess your core after she accidentally went off on her own and accidentally dipped into the deep end up Tainted Ecto portals. Your core will be healing in a few months after Ellen had kept using yours to save her own destabilizing."

"I must go now before she began to destabilize more, but here is my contact ritual." The infinite King disappeared into a clearer glowing green lararus Pit portal after a good bow, leaving behind a note on Jason's lap.

The coms were suddenly back on as Tim's voice could be heard.

"So the reason why Jason was all Trigger gun happy was cause he was accidentally pregnant with the infinite king's daughter?"

After Clark tells Lois that he’s Superman—and, you know, the last surviving member of his alien race, no big deal—she starts wondering what is Clark being Clark and what is Clark being an alien. She makes lists and asks endless questions. Clark is (mostly) patient with her. It’s cute.

“Does coffee actually do anything for you? I mean, you look half dead without it, so I assume the caffeine does something.”

“Hurtful, but okay. It’s psychological. I like the taste and it’s part of my routine. I guess I’ve conditioned myself to feel like I need it to start the day.”

“Your music—do you actually like it, or is that just a front?”

“Yes, Lois, I actually like Beyoncé. She makes art. Have you heard the harmonies? She sings them all herself and then layers—“

“Oh my God, Superman’s in the BeyHive.”

“Meg’s great too.”

“Trainor?”

“Thee Stallion.”

“Oh my God, Superman’s having a Hot Girl Summer.”

“Do you eat? I mean…wait, is that food allergy thing a lie?”

“Do I—yes, Lois, you’ve seen me eat!”

“Okay, but do you need to? Also, way to dodge the food allergy question.”

“Under a red sun, yes, I would need to eat regularly. Under a yellow sun, assuming I’m not injured, I’m pretty sure I could go weeks without food. I haven’t tested it, though.”

“And the food allergy?”

“I’m not eating Cat’s deviled eggs at the office potluck, and I don’t feel bad for lying.”

“So your snack drawer at work—“

“Is just a snack drawer. One you shouldn’t even know about. How do you—“

“Hush, let me finish. Peanut butter crackers. Peanut butter pretzels. Peanut butter cups. A jar of peanut butter. What gives?”

“I like peanut butter.”

“Clearly!”

“It’s good protein!”

“Do you fake being startled? Like when people pop up behind you?”

“No. Just because I can hear you doesn’t mean I’m actively listening or always paying attention.”

“So you can hear when people are having se—“

“Can I? Yes. I’m also tuning it out, because ew. Massive invasion of privacy, and I don’t want to know what everyone gets up to.”

“What do you get up to?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yes, Clark, that’s why I’m asking.”

Headcanon that Jason hated taking pills as a kid, partially due to trauma from being on the streets, but mostly because he's like 10 and they're just yucky

But he's also a kid with ✨️allergies✨️

And Bruce has tried everything. Bribing, begging, being stern, bargaining, everything.

But one day he gets the brilliant idea to hide the pill in a snack and give it to him then, and what do you know, it fucking works

And that's just how he continues to sneak allergy pills into Jason's system

Until Dick catches him and can't stop laughing because, "That's how you give dogs medicine."

And Bruce is mortified at the realization that he's been treating his son like a dog.. But like, it works, regardless, and it's the only thing that works

Years and a pit later, Jason's an adult and his allergies are acting up again so he asks Bruce if he has any allergy meds, and out of pure muscle memory, Bruce reaches for the snack cabinet before he stops and remembers that Jason's an adult now, so he just grabs the medicine bottle and tosses it to him

And that's when it finally clicks for Jason that everytime Bruce gave him a 'random treat,' as a child, it was deception

And he's never felt more betrayed

I love the idea of Dick being all the Batkid's favourite sibling but in violently different fonts.

Jason: Dick and Jay canonically have a pretty solid relationship but i'm partial to the Jason was around for Dick's rebellion stage and so Dick doesn't think he has to worry about the pedestal thing bc Jason has absolutely seen him violently hungover before he was legally allowed to drink font of this

So by the time Jason comes back and is no longer trying to murder Tim (except psychologically) Dick decides... Well he's evil sometimes but also I can finally tell someone all the Titans drama. So him and Jason meet up like once month if they're in the same city and get progressively drunker while shit talking their teams and Bruce.

Also I hate the Dick and Robin!Jason didn't get along. They absolutely did, Dick was like 0.5 seconds away from taking Jason to live with the titans permanently.

Tim: 'Oh Jason is Tims Robin, Oh Dick betrayed Tims trust.' in the name of the orange dude y'all elected twice W R O N G. Tim Drake used to watch VHS tapes of the flying Graysons routine. He wasn't even a batman Stan first. That came after he saw Robin do a quadruple summersault. Tim is a Dick Grayson fanboy first Person second. Like Tim canonically saw Jason die and went lmao skill issue, imagine not being like Dick Grayson i'm better. When Dick first started training him, he'd consistently excuse himself go to the other room, hyperventilate over Dick Grayson teaching him how to train surf. Dick is not just his idol he's also a pretty substantial part of Tim's support system. He calls Dick when he's going through something or is stuck on a case. And he knows that Dick will always have his back. They have like the unrealistic adorable sibling relationships from Tv that don't exist irl. Tim also does that awkward shuffle thing after fights bc they're still siblings and Dick just pretends the fight didn't happen until Tims calm again

Damian: You have to understand Damian thought he'd have to basically do the league all over again. He lands with Bruce and those ideas are soundly rejected and he now has no trust or respect and he has to adjust. And Bruce is doing his holier than thou, you should know better 10yro who literally was brainwashed as a child act, like Tim didn't have to pull him away from straight up becoming a villain and Dick didn't have to put him in his place with his fists a couple times a year (we love Bruce really). Then Bruce gets Time-streamed, Tim runs away and now the circus freak is BATMAN. Except the circus freak is also a sadistic bastard to criminals, despite being made out of marshmallows to you. Dick hangs people upside down off high buildings for information and cackles as Nightwing. He also listens to Damians worries and helps him deconstruct his bias view of the world. Dick canonically set the standard for child heroes and is among one of the most beloved and trusted heroes despite being marshmallowy and refusing to murder people. Dick is kinda like Damians stand in non pretentious moral compass until he learns his own one later on. Hence why Damian adores Dick Grayson more than anyone really.

in summary support my agenda that Dick and Jason are gossipy drinking buddies, Tim absolutely had a Dick Grayson Shrine as a child and Damian calls Dick to double check that he still cannot kill Timothy (its now entirely a joke.... mostly)

Damn girl, go for the jugular

Inspo here

let’s not talk about this, ever

this may be the stupidest thing ive made

I love the HC where all the brothers are like "yeah, Dick is an idiot lol" but the moment someone says something bad about him, they jump to defend him with their lives... Even from himself, lol

Jason: Dick? Ah, yeah, he's stupid.

X: Ha! Yes, I bet he can't even add 2 + 2.

Jason: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? That guy was a mathlete, he won every damn contest he entered. Gotham Academy has a whole hall just for his trophies in different disciplines, both mental and physical skill. You wish you could be like that.

Tim: Sometimes I wish Nightwing would stop trusting people so much.

X hero: He's very naive, isn't he?

Tim: What??? No! The guy is a master manipulator, he knows every move you're going to make and he's three miles ahead of you. Whatever you do, he will know and be able to react accordingly in a second. He has more contingency plans than Batman! He is far from being naive!

Damian: You are too soft with them.

Dick: I am, aren't I? I guess I'm not at my best anymore.

Damian: Don't you dare say that again. You're one of the best fighters I know and you're the only person in the world I know who can do the stunts you do. You are literally the epitome of human fitness. Shut up. Don't look down on my Batman.

Duke just punched two people who were talking bad about Richie after he gave an interview on TV <3