Gotham TikTok

Okay okay, but imagine if Danny just stalks Damian. Like, he has decided that he shall become this child’s unofficial guardian angel. Because Ancients know he needs it. 

So, one time Damian and Jon are out and Jon wants to go to the Arcade but Damian just says something rude and then…

Danny: *whispering in Damian’s ear* You should be nicer to your friend

Damian: Huh?! *looks around, only to find nothing* 

And that’s not all. Over time, Damian starts noticing how this strange presence as he calls it starts acting more and more. Whispering advice or words of encouragement in his ear (or just flat-out scoldings), making items he had misplaced magically appear back on his room the next day, protecting him from any surprise attacks any time he lowers his guard (which happens very rarely). 

Heck, once he even brought him a starving kitten he saw once in an alleyway that he was planning to adopt anyway! 

The Batfamily is aware of it. They refuse to do anything because they are far too amused. If anything, they give Damian a thumbs up and a “good luck" before sending him his way. 

It all ends up becoming too much for Damian to tracks down Constantine and tells him; 

Damian: I am being haunted. This annoying pest won’t leave me alone. Get rid of it, or else! 

Danny: *whispering on his ear again with a Disappointment Mom voice* What did we talk about? 

Damian: *sighs and cringes at the same time, before putting on a smile that looks more like a grimace* Please? 

anyway i bring that up because i think jason's singular hobby is that he's a line cook. which you would argue isn't a hobby at all and i would agree with you but Jason doesn't know how to have fun outside of the context of work and restaurants take all kinds of nutjobs. he interviews and shit and gets the job because he doesn't care about things like "being paid" a "livable wage" and seemed like he was on the least amount of drugs at the time of the interview. upon showing up the first day he's getting settled on the line and the servers come in to be like hey whats up man welcome and like the 5th server is none other than dick grayson. they look at each other in silent horror for 5 seconds before dick visibly comes to some sort of decision and is like. Hi Man I'm Rich Nice To Meet You. and jason is like. im jason. and then they have to pretend not to know each other from there on out until dick gets fired for exhibiting freak behaviors

Peter creating like. a jammer. to stop all electronic devices within an area, including even Stark’s tech so that he’s not accidentally caught on a secret device changing in and out of his suit after a close call

And then he gets kind of lazy and just has them stay up in certain areas instead of dismantling and reassembling it every time he changes

Which means eventually someone notices that they’re up there, and it’s incredibly suspicious, and it gets linked back to Peter, and fuck he’s under investigation again for being a supervillain

I like to imagine that he has one set up near the Baxter building cause he hangs out with the Fantastic 4 a lot and it’s Reed who finds the device and starts investigating Peter

I want a Batfam au where everything is the same except Dick is the same person as Robin from the Teen Titans series (2003) but not because of the apprentice arc like many of you might be thinking, (though it wouldn't hurt to throw it in) no I want Dick to have the same "Skills" Read: Superhuman abilities as Robin.

Robin in the Teen Titans was throwing a giant made of cement, shattering his pole with one hit, taking on the rest of the Titans at the same time, when they were holding back and not.

Clark: Are you sure he isn't a meta or alien or something?

Bruce: I check every few weeks.

Oliver: Wait, he's human?

Tim: B! We need backup.

Bruce: No

Steph: Nows not the time for your no outsiders in Gotham rule!

Bruce: Fine I'll contact Nightwing.

Tim: Another non-meta won't cut it!

Bruce: Nightwing is more than enough.

Everyone: ?????

Dick obliterates a massive wall of Ice left by Mr. Freeze

Duke: I thought I was the only one.

Tim: You are.

Jason: You don't sound confident in your answer.

Tim: I'm not

Raven: Why'd I get paired with Nightwing? I don't stand a chance.

Damian: You are the daughter of Trigon.

Raven: And?

Dick, done interrogating someone: Thanks for the Info.

Beast Boy: Back in the day you would have totally sent them to the hospital man!

Jon, unintentionally listening in with his super hearing: huh?????

Headcanon that bludhaven hates heroes with a flaming passion bc theyre just cops in tights but love Nightwing and therefore vehemently deny his hero status to anyone and everyone.

Like there is no official Nightwing merch bc he’s a criminal he’s committing a crime okay vigilante justice is in fact not legal and he’s not TECHNICALLY on the justice league and he’s NOT TECHNICALLY the leader of the titans anymore. But there are about 400 different Etsy stores that make hoodies, crop tops, joggers, sweats, sunglasses, bracelets, t shirts with nightwings logo or some art of him on them.

Like they love this guy and will get into beef with any Gotham national who tries to claim Nightwing is THEIR hero.

1) hes not a hero he’s a criminal fuck you

2) you have a hero and just bc he’s shit at his job and needs our guy (who is NOT a hero) to help him sometimes doesn’t MEAN SHIT

people are walking around with tiny v shaped blue tattoos or embroidered on clothing but again NOT A HERO BLUDHAVEN DOESNT DO HEROS

There are coffee shops with bad nightwing pun names nightbird, beanwing, nightwinging it and so on

Every third piece of graffiti is this man’s logo

Every sandwich place or fast food chain has a ‘secret menu item’ that’s not actually secret bc everyone orders it and it’s just one of their normal items dyed blue (sodas, desserts, burger buns, condiments so on) some places will sell wings fried in blue panko bread crumbs and call them them ‘nightwings’ ofc these are ALL off the menu you can’t see these items and if you try to order them out of the city you get weird looks.

Superman goes on tv and says Nightwing is one of his favorite hero’s and bludhaven riots. wtf nightwing is your favorite hero you fuckin poser

1) nightwing isn’t a hero he’s a criminal so back off

2) he’s ours you and your frou frou fancy city that hasn’t been nuked by a sentient pile of radiation can fuck RIGHT off

Naturally the only person in bludhaven who is unaware of this is Dick Grayson bc tbh this man is too busy to give a fuck about what his city thinks of him. They trust him to get shit done. Good that’s all he needs okay he has 22 reports he needs to log he’s busy.

Tim Drake professional nightwing fanboy however is fucking furious about this because.

A) dick was a GOTHAM hero FIRST and bludhaven can suck it

B) fuck you nightwing isn’t just a a hero he’s THE HERO and the BEST hero and don’t be rude bc you have a complex

C) all of the cool nightwing merch only ships around bludhaven so has to get it ordered there and it’s just a hassle and he’d pay double he swears just let him get it delivered to where he is please Everytime he stops by bludhaven he leaves with 10 new pieces of nightwing merch and bc he has so much. Damian doesn’t think he notices when some of his doubles mysteriously go missing. He does.

D) since they are anti hero they are firmly unhelpful whenever he or Steph show up bc a case has lead them to the city

The one plus side was watching Jason Todd having a mental breakdown bc apparently in bludhaven redhood counts as a hero and is therefore hated.

“Yous worked with the bat yous a hero thems the rules”

“I KILL PEOPLE”

“Yeah so do cops and people always call them heroes”

“Okay but I kill people to protect the general public I put down scum”

“Cops say they do that too”

“I- okay you know what I’m a hero fine okay. Why isn’t nightwing a hero”

“Vigilante justice is a crime”

“I’m documentably worse than a vigilante”

“But you have worked with the bat”

“For money yeah”

“See you even get paid, face it you’re a hero which means you suck”

“You realize Nightwing has worked with the bat right like way more than I have”

“Listen that ain’t his fault okay, the bats incompetent and so are the rest to you idiots. He’s a nice guy and a good neighbor don’t mean he’s a hero”

“I- what the fuck is in this cities water”

“I don’t fuckin know but it’s prolly better than whatever gothams got in its harbor”

“I- yeah you’re probably right”

Danny's Nest

Tim gets sacrificed in a ritual to summon "the ALL powerful conqueror, Phantom". And by sacrificed, I mean Tim really dies and Danny is forced into his body forcefully.

There's no coming back from that. Not even after the cultists are stopped.

Gold hair in the sunlight, my light in the dawn

If I had an orchard, I'd work 'till I'm sore

tim drake headcannons

- has dark circles under his eyes not even due to sleep deprivation, it’s just genetics. And every one always tell him to get more sleep but he’s like «  no I sleep 12 hours a day I just look like this! »

- googled « am I narcoleptic or just severely depressed » He never really figured that one out

- greatest skill is procrastinating, its not a problem if he’s good at it.

- plays piano

- will randomly ask Bruce “ are you mad at me” and then Bruce will say “ no of course not- why did you do something you shouldn’t have” and Tim’s like “ no I just wanted to check » cause he overthinks.

- eats and drinks most things out of mugs, his family or friends will tell him to stop drinking coffee and he’s like «  I’m eating goldfish, what do you think I’ve been chewing »

- has really big eyes, and kinda stares at people a lot without saying things so they are either thinking «  aww he’s so cute » or «  why is he looking at me, it’s like he’s staring into my soul, can he read my mind! Why is he still looking at me!! »

“Is slade wilsons thing for dick grayson a sex thing?” - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

The best part about DC canon being a sandbox is that you can combine different parts of different timelines into your Frankenstein ideal just to give Bruce Wayne more gray hairs

Observe

Bruce: Dick you know you’re 26 you can’t keep working as a gymnastics instructor on a volunteer basis you need a career.

Dick who has been working as a lawyer in nyc for 3 years now: hmmm yeah you’re totally right B maybe I’ll take some classes

Bruce: Tim you need to get your GED, I cannot allow you to give up on education at highschool.

Tim who got into ivy university and has been zeta-ing back and forth: …hmmm maybe I’m kinda busy

Bruce: I have no idea what Jason does in the day

Jason catholic priest Todd: … yeah I got nothing

-this shitpost was brought to you solely to remind everyone that JASON TODD WAS A CATHOLIC PRIEST IN ANOTHER DIMENSION THANK YOU