㋡🥀

“I loved you in a way I wished someone would love me.”

— Mahmdou Darwish

out of all the lifetimes my soul has lived, i believe i’ve known you in every one.

in the next, i hope i get to love you without losing you; at the very least, i hope we cross paths and you remember me as your soulmate in another time.

“It has made me better, loving you.”

— Henry James // The Portrait of a Lady

“There was a time this wasn’t toxic. There was a time you were my safe habour in a storm, the lighthouse leading me home. There was a time your arms kept me warm when my body was empty and cold. There was a time that your smile could dig me out of the grave I had dug for myself. Somewhere along the line you became the storm, you were cold and cruel and suddenly you were in the dirt digging with me. I don’t know where this went wrong, maybe there is only so much of my crazy that you could take, maybe you liked the idea of loving a sad girl but the reality never lived up to the expectation. As good as it was when you loved me, the feeling of an empty bed when you left was so gut-wrenching that I wish I never knew what it was to be loved by you.”

— Once upon a time…