A List Of Things Kevin Does For Neil Post-evermore

Okay so in my last Kevin post, I mentioned I have analysis' on how Kevin isn't a coward and how his trauma still affects him and you guys wanted to read it so here!

Why Kevin Day Isn’t a Coward: 

Essentially this comes down to 3 specific points in the fandom and even in the books since people are very adamant about the whole coward thing. The two things that people (in book and fandom-wise) use to argue that Kevin is a coward are: 

Kevin is still afraid/ doesn’t stand up to Riko 

That he left Jean behind in the nest.

Starting off with the first point. Kevin is still afraid and doesn’t stand up to Riko for the majority of the books. Firstly, we need to understand that Kevin has been abused from an extremely young age in the Nest and was conditioned into thinking that kind of behaviour was normal. And by that I mean specifically Riko’s abuse but before that, it was Coach Moriyama that abused both of them. 

He was stuck in the Nest for over a decade where his only role was “property” the entire time. That was all he would ever be to them and additionally to that, he wasn’t even allowed to be better than Riko. His entire life from the very start has been about exy but it was only after his mothers death where it became life or death. 

During tfc when Neil finds out how Kevin’s hand really broke Wymack says “But the day Kevin stops playing forever is the day he dies. He has nothing else. He wasn't raised to have anything else. Do you understand? We cannot lose to the Ravens this year. Kevin won't survive it."

He wasn’t raised to have anything else, exy is quite literally his everything, and without it, he has nothing and nobody. In this same scene, Wymack says, “Kevin doesn't talk about his time at Evermore, but I could tell it wasn't the first time Riko or Moriyama laid a hand on him. It was just the first time Kevin was smart enough to pack his bags and walk away.”

We never find out in detail what exactly happened to Kevin in the Nest but in TRK when Neil goes there we can see how deluded and obsessed Riko is with Kevin.

Neil moved up alongside him and regretted it almost immediately. Postcards of faraway cities both foreign and domestic were taped to the walls. Beneath each one were scraps of paper. Kevin's now-familiar scrawl listed dates and explanations for the travels. Most of them were games. Some indicated photo shoots and interviews. Books lined the shelves built into the headboard and Neil knew from skimming the spines they were Kevin's. Kevin was majoring in history for reasons Neil couldn't understand; these dry titles were the sorts of things he would find fascinating. It gave Neil chills to see his space preserved like this. It was like Kevin had gone out on an errand, not that he'd transferred to another team entirely.

Riko is so sure that Kevin is going to come back to him because he’s instituted such fear into him, he doesn’t think Kevin has the strength to stand up to him. Which he does, but people don’t seem to realise you can’t undo over a decade's worth of trauma overnight. 

Anyway, during Neil’s time in the Nest, he’s treated very similarly to how Kevin would be considering he was in his place but also not as harsh because they had to send Neil back to the Foxes inevitably.

"I am going to love hurting you," Riko said, "like I loved hurting Kevin."

What follows this is Riko tying Neil down and torturing him with a switchblade. By the time Neil leaves the Nest he doesn’t remember anything from the experience- he was so traumatised by it that he doesn’t remember it at all. (It also kinda sucks how Neil gets more sympathy for being in the nest for 2 weeks than Kev did for being there for over a decade.)

Putting this into perspective, Kevin went through that for so much longer and doesn’t get nearly enough of the same sympathy Neil did. Neil returned and Kevin got punched for letting him go even though he tried persuading Neil not to. Kevin has always had Neil’s best interest at heart. 

Kevin shook his head and bulled on when Neil started to argue. "The master wants to salvage you. He's going to sign you to the Raven lineup in spring. So long as you keep quiet and keep your head down he won't tell the main family he's found you." "I'm not a Raven," Neil said. "I never will be." "Then run," Kevin insisted, low and frantic. "It's the only way you'll survive."

Kevin was willing to sacrifice the only chance he had to prove his autonomy to the Moriyamas if it meant Neil would be safe. Without Neil, they wouldn’t have enough players to qualify and they wouldn’t be able to play at all. (Again: “But the day Kevin stops playing forever is the day he dies. He has nothing else. He wasn't raised to have anything else. Do you understand? We cannot lose to the Ravens this year. Kevin won't survive it.")

Not to mention the whole “Kevin was silent for an endless minute, then said, "You should be Court." It was barely a whisper, but it cut Neil to the bone. It was a resentful goodbye to the bright future Kevin had wanted for Neil. Kevin recruited Neil because he believed in Neil's potential. He brought him to the Foxes intending to make a star athlete out of him. Despite his condescending attitude and his dismissals of Neil's best efforts Kevin honestly expected Neil to make the national team after graduation.

And even after that, he promised to teach Neil, because at the end of the day, Neil was still Neil and he never gave up on him once.

And Neil understood that being on the run for 8 years was more preferable to the Nest. 

“But all Neil had to do was look at Kevin to know he would have hated that life 

too.”

Sorry I kinda went off track there anyway we can also see how much Riko’s presence still affects Kevin especially in scenes like the Kathy Ferdinand show. 

“Any animosity Neil felt toward Kevin for forcing him onto this show evaporated. He couldn't be angry when Riko was here, not when Riko was to Kevin what Neil's father was to him. Petty anger had nothing on this full-fledged terror.”

Obviously, we all know what a dickhead Neil’s dad was to him so Neil comparing the fear of his father being similar to Kevin’s fear of Riko is so important because it just puts into perspective how afraid Kevin is here face-to-face with his abuser the first time since said abuser permanently disabled him.

But what I don’t think is that Kevin has been standing upto Riko since the start because right after this when they were backstage, Kevin physically stopped Riko from hurting Neil even if it meant getting hurt by Riko again.

A black look twisted Riko's expression into something ugly and unrecognizable. He reached for Neil, but Kevin caught his arm to stop him. Riko slammed his elbow back into Kevin's face without missing a beat.

This scene is probably the best to describe how downright afraid Kevin is of Riko but there are others when Kevin has multiple panic attacks at just the thought of Riko or being in the same vicinity as him and rightfully so! Riko abused him, manipulated him and then took away the only thing he had. And Kevin was just forced to think this was okay. 

And a lot of characters and fans see his fear as cowardice instead of a normal trauma response. This is also because Neil tends to speak out more against Riko than Kevin (You know I get it…) but unlike Neil, Kevin has had direct repercussions towards him for the “mistake” of talking back to Riko which of course makes him hesitant. 

He knows the Moriyamas could drag him back at any moment and he's terrified of that happening.

Which leads to the second bit of “Kevin doesn’t stand up to Riko.” when many times, he has.

The most prominent example is in TRK, just after the foxes lost their first match to the ravens.

“You have fallen so far, Kevin. You should have stayed down and saved us the trouble of forcing you back to your knees." "I'm satisfied," Kevin said. It was the last response any of the Foxes expected from him. They forgot about Riko in favor of gaping at Kevin. "Not with their score or performance, but with their spirit. I was right. There's more than enough here for me to work with."

Kevin chose the foxes over the ravens- over Riko. He doesn’t allow their loss to become something Riko can use against him but instead something to affirm his current standing with them. This is also the first game Andrew played without his meds meaning he’s crashed by the end of it.

Kevin distracted the Ravens from Andrew's unsteadiness by facing them.

Kevin willingly turned to talk to his ex-abuser and his team if it meant Andrew wouldn’t be under fire. Most people only see Kevin and Andrew as Andrew protecting Kevin but Kevin protected Andrew just as much.

And of course we have the whole tattoo removal and the last exy match against the foxes but I need everyone to understand that those are so so so important. Kevin spent the entire series save the last quarter of the last book viewing himself as Riko’s property. Riko refers to him as such and even without Riko near him, his control is still strong over Kevin.

So Kevin removing his tattoo and replacing it with something with a higher hierarchical structure than Riko’s status as king is so detrimental, it’s a turning point for him because he’s viewing himself as his own person now. And Kevin scoring the winning goal brings us full circle because the last time he did that with Riko, he ended up disabled and shunned.

This brings me to my second point about Kevin running away from the nest. Alot of people see Kevin escpaing from the nest and leaving behind Jean as an act of cowardice. This bit gets a bit complicated because in no way shape or form am I trying to compare trauma’s or anything like that.

But to continue on. The ravens had a very strict policy that we got to see during Neil's experience one of which being that no matter how injured they were, they were still expected to show up to practice. The more mistakes they made the more punishment they'd find themselves in. Not showing was practically a death wish.

Now Kevin having his hand fucking broken would mean thay either he doesn't practise and get punished or practise with his fucked up hand and further damage it. If he stayed I wholeheartedly believe he would've died.

He ran away to save his life and that will never be cowardice not once. He didn't go to Wymack immediately when he found out because he knew what kind of target he'd paint on Wymacks back.

"He was trying to protect him," Neil said. "If Coach knew Kevin was his son, he'd have tried to take him from Edgar Allan." Nicky grimaced. "They'd have never let Kevin go." 

He only left when he had no other option. He had nothing left, the one thing he did have was taken away from him, he had no purpose and for once Riko didn't care enough about him to pay attention. And he used that to run.

Leaving Jean behind was something he always regretted, but it was a game of survival. Jean was a gift to the Moriyamas, he was also property to them and couldn't leave. And if the roles were reversed I strongly believe Jean would've done the same thing.

Also Kevin finds a place for him layer with the trojans because he knew that being a fox wouldn't be good for him.

"He isn't safe with us," Kevin said. "I won't give him false hope."

Staying in the nest would've been suicide for Kevin. He's one of the biggest victims in the series but nobody talks about it enough I fear and there's so much to learn about him via context clues etc.

And the saddest thing in my opinion is that Kevin knew was it was like to be loved, he was raised by his mother for a few years before going to the Moriyamas. 

ANYWAY to conclude, I suck at essays and I hope I've worded everything well and what I'm trying to say gets across. Kevin is not a coward, never has been a coward and never will be. He's survived through such a damaging and abusive environment only to get moved to a separate environment where everyone just ridicules his defense tactics and he has no real sense of support. 

His reasons for what he does always stems from the fact the he doesn't want to go back to being under Riko and Coach Moriyamas "care" and that he's afraid. And most of the time it's things he can't shake from the nest.

Like when he pushes the foxes its so they're always at their best and so none of them get hurt or punished for mistakes. He pushed himself the hardest because he doesn't want to directly affect his teammates. 

Or the celebrity persona he was forced to develop.

Or how he makes sure everyone is staying healthy and that they don't force themselves to play when sick or injured because he knows what it's like to be forced to play like that day after day. 

AND IVE GONE OFF COURSE AGAIN yeah I kinda mashed together both analysis' of how Kevin's trauma from the nest affects him and how he's not a coward into one thing AND THIS IS SUPER LONG so if ur still here thank you very much for reading I really hope this makes sense

neil and the foxes part 2 because i can’t control myself and i’m a hoe for aaron x katelyn (the first part of this can be found here or in the aftg headcanon tag on my blog)

after a bit neil realizes that he actually really likes physical affection, he never knew that touch could be so friendly and warm and caring

the foxes are always careful, but they pick up on how he subconsciously leans in or gets a tiny smile

allison starts pecking him on the cheek before and after games and it stirs up some media attention that they both mercilessly sass away

dan always hugs him and matt ruffles his hair, renee likes to link their arms together, and nicky starts dramatically collapsing on him during halftime or hangs onto him whenever they’re out and about

kevin does not do touch and neither does andrew or aaron, but there are rare occasions in which kevin will clap neil on the shoulder in stoic approval

neil and katelyn become friends and it’s super confusing at first but everyone quickly realizes it kinda makes sense in a weird way

neil especially likes how she’s just super casual about the intensity of the competitive cheer she’s done for her whole life, like he just stares at her in awe while she’s happily recounting all the times she either bruised her ribs or fell from terrifying heights

she shows him a video of her tumbling like a badass and nicky’s like “twinyards your s.o.’s are going to run off together” 

whenever aaron is being a dick or difficult in practice, neil starts pretending to wave at someone nearby and goes “hey katelyn!”

it is RIDICULOUS how aaron keeps on falling for it, like he knows she’s not there at 7AM on a tuesday morning but he still perks up and his head whips around

the rest of the team starts doing it and if he didn’t hate neil before he definitely hates him now

neil confesses he doesn’t really have a favorite food and everyone is appalled

even though he’s traveled all over the place, they avoided restaurants and mostly just went for whatever was cheapest and fast

allison and nicky make it their mission to introduce him to as much stuff as possible and see if anything really catches his attention

neil does not care for sweets or spicy stuff at all, which results in the expected “you’re so white” jokes from nicky

he does really like stuff heavy on the umami, so the team starts ordering a LOT of asian food

at the end of the upperclassmen’s last championship (that they totally win of course), neil breaks his ankle in literally the last thirty seconds dodging his mark to make a goal

he tries to pretend he’s fine but he falls down when he tries to walk so matt scoops him up bridal style and andrew stays glued to him

they completely ignore the press and celebrating and everyone goes with him to the ER and force their way to his bedside

it’s bad enough the doctors put him on painkillers which make him super high, but he doesn’t have anything to hide anymore so…

neil starts to just like spill all of his feelings about everyone and they’re already so overwhelmed by winning championships a second time they can’t take this too

“matt i just want you to know that you’re like my big brother and you’re always taking care of me and i know you and dan are going to make such good parents one day” “dan you’re so strong and beautiful i want to be like you when i grow up, i swear i’m gonna try to be as good to the foxes as you were to us”

“kevin you absolute ASSHOLE, you FIEND, you’re the best exy player ever and that’ll never change and i wouldn’t be good without you, i hate to say it but you deserve happiness i guess” “katelyn’s way out of your league aaron i have no idea how the fuck you got her but don’t lose her and i want to be your child’s godfather”

“allison you’re such a bitch but you’re my best friend and i wouldn’t have it any way, you can cook my face whenever you want” (everyone knows he means bake) “renee, renee i would always stick with you during the apocalypse, whenever you do the hooky elbow thing i feel all safe and warm inside” 

“nicky…we’re your family now. we’re always gonna be your family now. okay?” 

“wymack you’re not fooling anyone with your tats, we all know you’ve adopted us, i used to be scared of you because of my dad–FUCK him by the way–but i realized what good dads are like because of you” “abby i would kill anyone who wronged you, even if they cut you in line at the grocery store, i would knife them no hesitation” 

he mumbles something to andrew that no one else can hear, but that’s fine

everyone’s too busy weeping anyway

neil’s a little in and out after that, but when he fully regains consciousness he’s on a pile of blankets, surrounded by his team again on the floor

i need to stop myself but…mayhaps a part 3 is coming??

Night shot

Special for my dearest friends

chu chu 💘

Ooops

First it was Neil and Jean but the thought of Andrew kept me up so

I really love them…

Do you have any Kevandreil headcanons?

yes!!

I wasn’t sure if this meant like getting-together Kevandreil or established relationship Kevandreil, but I hope you enjoy!

When they sleep together (it happens, sometimes, when Andrew isn’t having one of his bad days and they’re all too tired to worry about how they’re going to have to squish to fit 3 on the dorm beds) Neil is always in the middle, bordered by Kevin and Andrew. He’s in fetal position, back to Andrew and head tucked into Kevin’s chest. Kevin sleeps like the dead, one arm behind his head, legs tangling. Andrew sleeps kinda tucked into himself, back to the wall and farther away from the others but close enough to have his hand under Neil’s pillow, fingers just barely grazing Kevin’s bicep. Sometimes Neil wakes up gasping and reaching for a gun. Sometimes Andrew wakes up in a cold sweat, beating anything that touches him. And sometimes it’s Kevin, who startles awake and won’t talk, eyes squeezed shut and lips silently counting in French. Sometimes it’s bad. But they make it work

Kevin doesn’t come up to the roof with them a lot, but that’s okay. Neil and Drew have the roof. Kevin and Neil have the court. Drew and Kevin have the gym. It’s never a competition, who can get the most time with who. They know where to find each other, where to go to be alone, who they can talk to and who they can be quiet with. It’s familiar, it’s routine, and it’s safe.

Kevin and Neil fight constantly, about everything. It’s never about anything important, except that it is to them. They’ll be ready to throw hands over drills and at each other’s throats arguing about what to do for dinner. It’s ridiculous. Andrew hates them both 110%. Andrew and Kevin are somehow worse. They don’t scream like he does with Neil, but their fights are somehow more violent. Neil is an instigator. He’ll encourage arguements over petty shit (you really didn’t get Drew’s ice cream from the store? What the fuck, Kevin) because he’s an asshole and he likes watching his boyfriends roast each other. The fights never get bad, though. They’ve had enough bad fights to last the three of them a lifetime and there isn’t a point, anymore. They don’t need to use venom because the danger is behind them. Now when they fight it can be dramatic and arbitrary and over nothing. They know what lines not to cross and they don’t cross them, simple as that.

Kevin catches onto the “yes or no” thing pretty quickly. He uses it with Neil, even if Andrew isn’t there. Kevin and Neil don’t need it the same way Andrew does, but they both like the asking. Knowing that they’re in control and everything is consensual, no one does anything the other isn’t comfortable with. Andrew secretly really likes that they’re careful with each other, because even if they don’t need it, it’s there.

The other foxes thought they knew what they were getting into with Andreil. They thought they were ready. Well, ok, they didn’t know what to expect, but they thought they could handle it. And then they find out that it’s not just Andrew and Neil, it’s Andrew, Neil, and Kevin, and they don’t know what to do with that. Like, it makes sense. Kevin and Neil were so much alike but still somehow polar opposites, and the chemistry was there. And, to be honest, at least half of them saw it coming with Kevin and Andrew. They’d abandoned that train of thought when Neil happened, but come on, Andrew called dibs on Kevin. But still. That’s their captian (because, yes, Dan is definitely their team captain and they listen to her, but Kevin is like... not their dad, but he’s the authority figure, even if he’s a hot fucking mess and the most Dramatic Bitch to ever live) and their son and their Andrew.

Aaron doesn’t even react when he finds out. He looks from Andrew to Neil to Andrew to Kevin and just turns and walks out because fuck that, nope, he’s so over his brother’s love life. He already talked with Neil and that’s as involved as he would like to get, thanks. Katelyn would have a field day when she heard about this shit.

And you would think that since they’re all boyfriends and sickeningly in love in their own asshole-ish way, they’d get along so well at practice, right? A united front? Fucking wrong. Andrew hurls balls and Kevin and Neil because it’s amusing and sometimes just sits down in the goal to get them riled up. Kevin is at Neil’s throat constantly, always on his ass about something, and Neil gives back as good as he gets. Both of them patronize Andrew to put some effort into the game (and, he’ll never admit it, but they make some progress in that field, because as fun as it is to say no to them and see them get agitated, giving in feels pretty good too when they look at him like he hung the fucking moon just for swatting away a couple of balls, junkies) and it’s so confusing to the test of the team how these are the same people that Would Literally Die for each other (and have literally killed for each other)

Wymack is probably the first to realize about their little ot3 tbh. A vein bulges in his forehead and he might go into minor cardiac arrest, but he manages not to completely lose his shit. He looks at Kevin and tells him he trusts him to make his own choices. He looks at Neil and tells him that he trusts him to know what he’s doing with them. He looks at Andrew and tells him not to be such a little shit or he’s signing him up for a marathon at 6 in the goddamn morning, Minyard. The boys pretend that his approval doesn’t matter to them, but they’re all a little touched.

Nicky makes a comment that Andrew shouldn’t be able to call dibs on Kevin and Neil, and that he should share. Andrew gets very, very close to stabbing his cousin, but Matt and Neil were right there to haul him away and talk Andrew out of homicide

Synchronization of horrors.

It had to happen one day. Jean sees flashes of other people's hands in front of his eyes, shying away from Kevin's soothing touch. All he can do is squeeze out a pathetic "no" on the verge of hysteria rising to his throat.

Jeremy is at Moreau's side at the same moment. He has seen how him lives through such attacks, and knows what to do. Kevin steps back, allowing Jeremy to sit Jean down on a chair. It is not easy for him to realize that he can do nothing to help his second beloveds who has survived violence.

Andrew and Jean are inherently very similar. They wrest control from the world. On bad days, Andrew only lets Neil in, and Jean only lets Jeremy in. No exceptions. They are their safe place. Fair enough, considering these are the people who managed to figure them out faster than anyone else.

Synchronizing their shared nightmares is maddening. Neither Andrew nor Jean like to show their vulnerability, and these days they try to avoid each other, going in different directions. They literally trigger at the sight of each other.

This day is just one of those when Kevin wants to burst into tears from impotence. The horrors of the past overtake his guys at the same time. Word for word, and Andrew does not hold back with words, in fact, like Jean.

It hurts.

It opens up old wounds.

Neil crawls out of his and Andrew's room. He does not approach them, pausing in the doorway. Jeremy shakes his head, and Neil realizes that neither he nor Kev have anything to do here. He pulls Day away by the edge of a home stretched T-shirt. The sound of shuffling footsteps hangs unpleasantly in the atmosphere of a quiet house.

"How's Andrew?" Kevin asks, and Neil shrugs vaguely.

The exact answer is: in the abyss of nightmares, mired in the swamp of the rolling past. Neil doesn't say that. If Minyard wants to, he will tell everything himself.

Kevin accepts Josten's silence. They curl up together on the sofa in the living room, clinging to each other like drowning people. The Ravens destroyed Jean. The system destroyed Andrew. Their hastily glued fragments cut painfully and without warning not only them.

Neil wraps his arm around Day's waist, looking oceans of pupils into his eyes. The storm hides inside him, infecting Kevin with quiet anger.

"It's so fucked up, Kev."

The muffled sound of French deafens them both. They would give anything not to understand fragments of Jean's panic attacks in his native language. It's scary. Details of the horrors of his past.

Kevin nudges Neil lightly in the back.

"Maybe you should go to Andrew. He needs you a lot more than I do."

Neil isn't moving anywhere. Andrew asked for space, and he's giving it to him. After all, who is he to violate his boundaries? He's much more useful here, next to a completely lost Kevin.

rare sight: a peaceful afternoon

People calling Kevin toxic for andriel are we reading the same series???

Did you miss Kevin taking care of Andrews's meds which is such a trusting thing on Andrew's behalf because he's gone his life doing things alone but now Kevin's offered to help and not interfere in Andrews's life and business and RESPECTING HIS BOUNDARIES???

Did you miss Kevin threatening Neil to tell him his actual condition and NOT the "I'm fine" bullshit he's constantly saying.

Did you miss Kevin being the FIRST person to see something in Andrew? Even before Neil did, not his cousin, not his brother not the system but Kevin fucking Day saw something in him and promised to give him something to structure his life around??? Kevin believed in him whether on not Andrew was on his meds.

Did you miss Kevin telling Neil to run away when he finds out his identity because he doesn't want Neil to be caught back up with the Moriyama's. It's too late for Kevin to escape, he's been under the limelight for years now and Exy is the only thing he'd been brought up to know. But he wanted Neil to run even if it meant the Foxes couldn't qualify to play he was willing to give up the thing cared most about to keep Neil safe.

"The day Kevin stops playing is the day he dies. He has nothing else. He wasn't raised to have anything else. Do you understand? We cannot lose to the Ravens this year. Kevin won't survive it." KEVIN WAS WILLING TO GIVE THAT UP FOR NEILS SAFETY.

Did you miss how Kevin purposefully feigned disinterest in Andrew when he was with the Raven's because he didn't want to drag Andrew into the nest??

Did you miss Kevin fucking Day grabbing Riko Moriyama's arm- his LITERAL abuser to stop him from hurting Neil?? Did you miss how Riko immediately hit Kevin back but it didn't stop Kevin from trying.

HELL I COULDN GO ON AND ON DO NOT FUCKING TRY THIS WITH ME Kevin saved Andrew and Neil just as much as they saved him goodnight