The Desire To Break You Is Conflicted By The Desire To Keep You. Obviously I Don't Play With Broken Toys.

Sometimes sexual fantasies aren’t about getting off they’re about being broken down until you cry

LOVE BLUH BLUH BLUH BLUH

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve had this conversation with someone I’d be a billionaire. Bonus points for everytime someone asked if they could pray for me lmao.

don’t think intimacy will ever feel normal for me but i’m being really chill about it

being mature for ur age sucks actually can i just like die

good pets deserve gentle love.

cheaters are sinners. — Yotsuya. The first of five is done! hopefully all the guys are going to have their own Illustration like this one by the end of the month. Since I'm taking a short rest from programming and working on the vn I decided to start making more full illustrations :]

Could it be possible for you to love the mask and the monster? Is that within the realm of your own duality?

Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.

Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.

Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.

Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?

Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.

Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.

Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.

There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.

This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.