I Might Relupoad It…even Though I Tried With Another Thing And Failed Multiple Times Cause The Quality

Woo, I actually got a really nice Peridot today, it is perfect for what I wanna make actually, size, shape, etc.

Last bit of Inktober stuff :D (as to the “surprise” one, it is literally an inside “joke”,er surprise to drawing someone I hadn’t planned on drawing er but, yeah “surprise” for me.)

I wish I had an art style(s) that people were more interested in.

I only have enough clay to finish Sans.

What type of art do people want to see from me :D sculpture wise, or oh, what would be a sort of decorated box that would be interesting? I have a plain almost chest like box and a square shadow box.

forgot to mention stuff

I forgot to mention, I shown my husband those videos of when he was drinking and being really mean... he told me “can you stop showing me these, it’s making me angry at myself” and “that’s only when I’m drunk” (which isn’t true, I mean he is worse when he drinks though” and something along the lines of “you were saying things you knew would bring that out” (though less mean, I just didn’t know how he worded this one, it wasn’t as mean sounding as what I wrote at all, but similar message when it comes down to it” But yeah, this is EXACTLY why I ask him to please stop drinking, to drink a lot less, he always drinks to the point of being drunk, the least he drinks is....maybe a week between drinking?

more bad things happening 8D oh what a joy it is, my bank card is missing, I never lose it, just checked to see mail from it, see a negative balance...someone has my card....ALL BECAUSE OF THESE EVENTS....I hate it....why....

soo-da replied to your post: Finished making Amethyst~I personally ...

Holy shit this is beautiful!! Are you gonna give Garnett a base too?

Thank you :3 I plan on it, eventually, I’m just not sure how it would be since I can’t fuse her to a base, she’d have to have something on it to stay standing with how tall she is. I also only have one base left not being used (well I have two but the other one is HUGE) I plan on at least making lapis on that one and maybe Opal on the big one. 

Sorry for all the text filled bad stuff lately, this is just another one of those.

So, I have a huge phobia of being around males in general. (past traumatic events, etc.) My husband has a thing for mocking me continuously in the future with past things I said to him in a serious manner...(like him saying “she was asking for it” when he was trying to do something bad to a friend of mine without either of our permission vocally, and while we were both drunk, no matter how much we’d try to argue his logic, he sticks to what he thinks...this is a different matter so it isn’t important in the context of what I am posting about, but it’s just to give where he was coming at from this.) I tell him that I don’t want people just walking into my private space without MY permission, that he should go out if someone wants him. He tells me I’m being rude and should stop being so...(well I forgot what he actually said but around the same lines of when he calls me mean, evil, etc.) I say “I don’t like being around guys..” husband says “that’s sexist” in a very condescending tone. I vocalize to him SO MUCH that I get a panic attack when there are other guys around, the more...the more panicky, or also depending on the personality could escalate it, sadly this person is a roommate who I though we would be gone from since we are out of a home but nope...but this guy is just like the person who helped put this fear upon me... So I don’t get why he says this when I tell him constantly whenever he would have friends around too that I can’t go in there, I can’t even say “hey i need you for a minute” or anything, that’s how bad it is, but nope....he just tells me to get over it or it’s irrational, etc. it’s worse that this guy talks badly about me (though husband denies it even though I know some of the acronyms the guys used in front of me and heard some of the things passing by his room) he keeps my husband from me, enables his drinking and everything, this guy buys tall cans of beer everyday (like 10 or so of them a day) I preferred our last roomate, he couldn’t pay for a second month but at least I knew the person decently and even if I was still uncomfortable when alone with the guy(like husband at work, so if he had to ask me for something I’d freak out knowing I’d have to communicate by myself) I could still talk and feel okay with their presence. just all this...just is too much.

SO.....I’m homeless now, well our landlord just kicked us out today, we have no way to pack anything, nowhere to go, three cats, no money I’m super sick right now and can’t even walk around the house without wanting to fall over...