Oh Hi 8'D

I *need* to start taking commissions but heck, I don't even know if anyone actively follows me still. I haven't really posted, I have barely had the motivation to post anywhere really. I've made a lot of art though, just haven't posted...idk.

Wip of Lapis Lazuli I was doing on the side of the Xenoblade pic. I love her, she is the closest character I can relate to. (would add better description but the device I am on has to go to who it belongs to now.)

Still in an art block, so that kinda sucks. Nothing I wanna draw anymore~ Ended up playing Borderlands for the first time with my person, finished the game but it glitches so we can't play co-op anymore so we deleted the game and gonna start all over after installing again.

I forgot, I tried making a gemsona at some point in time, might make more, idk. The design is actually based off of a little piece I have (about the size of a grain of rice) it also looks like a winged gun to me so I drew it as so. :D This is how I felt they would look I guess?

Sorry for all the text filled bad stuff lately, this is just another one of those.

So, I have a huge phobia of being around males in general. (past traumatic events, etc.) My husband has a thing for mocking me continuously in the future with past things I said to him in a serious manner...(like him saying “she was asking for it” when he was trying to do something bad to a friend of mine without either of our permission vocally, and while we were both drunk, no matter how much we’d try to argue his logic, he sticks to what he thinks...this is a different matter so it isn’t important in the context of what I am posting about, but it’s just to give where he was coming at from this.) I tell him that I don’t want people just walking into my private space without MY permission, that he should go out if someone wants him. He tells me I’m being rude and should stop being so...(well I forgot what he actually said but around the same lines of when he calls me mean, evil, etc.) I say “I don’t like being around guys..” husband says “that’s sexist” in a very condescending tone. I vocalize to him SO MUCH that I get a panic attack when there are other guys around, the more...the more panicky, or also depending on the personality could escalate it, sadly this person is a roommate who I though we would be gone from since we are out of a home but nope...but this guy is just like the person who helped put this fear upon me... So I don’t get why he says this when I tell him constantly whenever he would have friends around too that I can’t go in there, I can’t even say “hey i need you for a minute” or anything, that’s how bad it is, but nope....he just tells me to get over it or it’s irrational, etc. it’s worse that this guy talks badly about me (though husband denies it even though I know some of the acronyms the guys used in front of me and heard some of the things passing by his room) he keeps my husband from me, enables his drinking and everything, this guy buys tall cans of beer everyday (like 10 or so of them a day) I preferred our last roomate, he couldn’t pay for a second month but at least I knew the person decently and even if I was still uncomfortable when alone with the guy(like husband at work, so if he had to ask me for something I’d freak out knowing I’d have to communicate by myself) I could still talk and feel okay with their presence. just all this...just is too much.

(Please dont watch if you dont want to see possibly triggering things involved with relationships, emotional abuse or alcohol ..)I hate to post this, I have so many of these though, most too long to post but.... I JUST NEED to feel okay, I'm always scared, always hurt emotionally and called bad things, I wish I could show it all but it's embarrassing at the same time....I'm weak, no matter what I say or do I'm called or told horrible things. I might look through some of them and find significant ones I can post under a minute... Maybe I am too open...

I have so much I have yet to upload, too depressed, see no point in uploading my art honestly. But yeah, Sans from Undertale, it started as just a doodle but ended up doing far more.

People have been asking if I do sculpture commissions or am selling any of the ones I've made, the answer is yes. I know I keep saying it, but I'll post a general price list for sculptures when I can. I have been busy/gloomy/lacking materials so I haven't answered anyone, I haven't been on my laptop for maybe a couple of months. I was able to get some materials lately so I can actually do so now. (As well as making sure my PayPal was still accessible.) I need to finish up some stuff but I dont mind people asking or asking about updates.

What type of art do people want to see from me :D sculpture wise, or oh, what would be a sort of decorated box that would be interesting? I have a plain almost chest like box and a square shadow box.

Up close shots of the picture I posted before. c: I can't link HQ versions because links don't let my post show up in any tags.