L-adystardust - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If Mr. Robot was here, what would he do? … You’re not really him, though.

Revolutionary parenting hack:

If your child is in the middle of some activity and clearly enjoying it (and wasn't supposed to be doing something else instead), DO NOT interrupt them and have them do chores that will "only take 5 minutes or so!"

You haven't asked them to do anything before they got out the Legos, started reading a chapter of their book or painting the complicated picture, or began playing their video game.

As a result of being repeatedly interrupted, they will learn that their presence in public space of the household=availability to do chores, so they will make themselves scarce so you can't find them and order them around. They will also become suspicious of your efforts to engage with them as they play, as they've learned that these pleasantries are a prelude to "Take out the trash", or "move your boots and vacuum the entryway, there's dirt everywhere ".

"But I need my children to help me around the house!", I hear you cry. I understand. Children should not be treated like royalty and left to their own devices 24/7.

An alternative is to give the kids a clearly delineated chore chart and stick to it, resisting the urge to add anything to it. There are some chores that are easier and quicker with two people, though. A (in my opinion) even better option is to divide the child's day into "on-duty" and "off-duty " time. When they're on-duty, you can interrupt them as before, but you have *consulted with your child beforehand * and they understand that during this time they can relax, but they must be ready to jump in and lend a hand.

That way they won't start trying to level up in their video game or break out the clay and make stuff. When they are off-duty, you leave them alone and their only responsibilities are to clean up whatever mess they make at the end of this time.

Also, if they are tearing around the house or whining about being bored, don't make them do chores so they will "have something to do"; this could make the child conflate extra chores with punishment for whining and make them reluctant to help out when you randomly tell them to at other times because they might think they're being punished but they have NO IDEA WHAT THEY DID. And IMO children should see chores as things everyone has to do no matter what, not punishments.

I may seem unqualified to offer parenting advice as I have no kids, but I was talking with my dad today and he said: "I wish you didn't hide from us in your room so much, but every time your mom walked by she'd give you a chore to do, so I can't blame you for that." A kid who hides in their room to play has an entirely different relationship to the family than the child who sprawls on the livingroom floor and excitedly describes the city they are building out of Legos.

And today, in times of Covid I play a complicated game of hide-and-seek with my mother as I try to do my online coding homework and apply for jobs. I am now attempting to turn my bedroom into my own tiny office because if I work in our home office, she'll find me and go "I can't attach this file to my email," and so on.

Children *have* to obey their parents when they are young. But true respect and honoring collective responsibilities is stronger than forced obedience. If you demonstrate to your children that you respect them and their time, they will reciprocate.

eps1.2.d3bug.mkv

‪GOD I found another article about why ADHD kids say “I don’t know” so much. my entire childhood was getting yelled at for doing some ADHD shit and me not being able to offer an explanation when asked why I did something. ‬

Paddington (2014)

Send me a postcard, okay?

https://www.twitch.tv/hbomberguy

Hi! I was wondering what exactly I have to do to get t, and who I need to talk to? I know I probably need a note from a therapist, but what after that? Sorry if this has been answered before ;;

Ren says:

This really depends on where you live! I can tell you a little about the US.

[Note: Lee has added in some links!]

Option #1:

Informed consent. This means that you discuss the effects of transition with a doctor, typically an endocrinologist (AMAB folks can also see urologists for HRT services, I have no idea why that’s the case), and confirm that you understand what you’re getting into. You’ll have to read and sign a document that lists all the changes to expect and potential health risks. (Examples of that document are here). You’ll get some tests done and then you’ll be good to go!

Important to note: You must be 18 years of age or older to consent for yourself. I haven’t heard of any minors getting informed consent with their parents’ help, although it may be possible. Also, not all insurances will cover informed consent services. If you want insurance to cover your HRT, speak to your provider (call the number on the back of your insurance card).

Resources: ICATH has some good US-specific resources for informed consent. @plannedparenthood also provides informed consent services for HRT in some locations (source). This Google Maps list here has a lot of informed consent clinics listed as well to check out, although it’s not a full list of all of them.

Option #2:

Therapist’s letter. This is the “traditional” method, based on the (now-sorta-outdated) WPATH Harry Benjamin Standards of Care. Basically, you talk to a therapist for several months. Usually, the therapist is one who knows about gender identity issues, or even specializes in them, but it doesn’t have to be - the main idea is that you’re looking for someone who can keep up with you and isn’t going to tell you that you’re mentally ill because you’re trans, so finding an LGBTQ-friendly therapist is a must. They write a note, hand it off to insurance and your doctor, and you’re on your way.

How long you have to see your therapist before their letter will work for you depends on a) the therapist, b) the doctor you want to see, and c) your insurance (if you plan on seeking coverage). You’ll have to communicate with all of these people in order to work out their requirements. The timeframe is typically around 3 months, but it can be longer or shorter depending on those factors. Information on getting a therapist is here.

An example of that letter is here.

Important to note: Not all insurances will cover HRT with a therapist’s letter, either, although many states are making it illegal to deny transition-related services. Be sure to check with your insurance provider first!

Finding a doctor can also be hit-or-miss. You can speak to your GP (general practitioner; i.e. the doctor you go to for regular checkups) - sometimes they know what they’re doing, and I’ve definitely heard of GPs prescribing HRT or hormone blockers to their patients. However, most of them will refer you to an endocrinologist (and many insurance plans require referrals before you can skip off to a specialist, too) for the actual hormones. Some doctors won’t let you do HRT. It’s okay if you shop around. Look around online; call their office first to make sure they work with trans patients. Remember, if a doctor refuses you healthcare, you have a right to refuse them your business!

Once you get to a doctor, you’ll get a preliminary blood test and a general health screening to check for contraindications (any medical conditions that might make it difficult or impossible for you to be on HRT). Nearly every contraindication is possible to work around, though, so don’t worry too much! They’ll likely be looking at your cholesterol levels and heart and liver functions in particular, although this may vary from doctor to doctor and treatment to treatment.

Finally - as long as all medical conditions are sorted out - you’ll be prescribed your hormones. You can choose which delivery method you receive. For testosterone, there’s injections (which involve needles, but typically only need to be administered once a week or every 10 days), patches (daily, can badly irritate sensitive skin), and creams / gels (daily, have to be careful so that you don’t get it on another person). AMAB folks will need to take both estrogen and an anti-androgen. Typically, estrogen is oral, but can also come in the forms of injections; anti-androgens are nearly always oral.

Stick to the instructions they give you in terms of dosage and administration - they give these instructions for good reason! Your doctor should monitor your hormone levels and health status / conditions, and will likely adjust your dosage as time goes by to ensure it is still accurate, so make sure you continue to go in for checkups.

This post on convincing your parents to allow you to start HRT is also a good place to look!

CONTROL, Remedy Entertainment (2019)