Laaajlaaa - Unbetitelt

“I’ll never cry in front of you. I’ll never tell you how I feel. I’ll never wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m not an open book. My walls will always be up and guarded. I won’t tell you how I fight with myself about you, about how I shouldn’t want you, about how you’ll break my heart if I give mine to you. I won’t tell you how my heart constricts at the thought of you leaving me. I’ll never show you how scared I am of this… Of you… Of us. You’re real. You’re everything I want, and nothing is certain. Everything is blurred and we walk on this thin line between reality and fantasy. You’re a dream and a nightmare. I find peace in you when everything else is chaos. I don’t know what this is and that uncertainty scares me but maybe just maybe if I stay around, you will too.”

— 2:31 AM thoughts

Do you ever just want to tell people that the little annoying things you do isn’t your fault it’s because of childhood trauma but then stop yourself because you know that’s attention seeking lmao

you hurt me, yes

But in staying you healed all the pain before it could get worse

Saving me from the worst of it.

thank you?

“Do I mind texting first? No, I will show that I care about you. Do I mind texting first for weeks and basically talk to myself for a whole conversation? Yeah, I kinda do. So forgive me if I’m done trying.”

— you had your chances

I think it really sucks when you realise how alone you are because you only really talk to 1 maybe 2 people and when neither of them are available you kind of just lay there in bed hoping your phone will buzz with a text from them or something so you continuously check it and you try to distract yourself and then you get sad about how alone you really are