lacexleaves

Latest Posts by lacexleaves

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and im losing sense of time

god i missed tumblr

petition for spotify to allow users to add notes to songs. like the violin solo at 3:43 is just <3

think it's a deep consolation to know that spiders dream, that monkeys tease predators, that dolphins have accents, that lions can be scared silly by a lone mongoose, that otters hold hands, and ants bury their dead. that there isn't their life and our life. nor your life and my life. that it's just one teetering and endless thread and all of us, all of us, are entangled w it as deep as entanglement goes. v neat i think.

Sometimes I feel lonely with physical heaviness in my chest. Can somebody please love me a little?

Sit with me in my bedroom when it is dark outside and quiet within, and you will see a part of myself put away with a July sunset years ago. I will reluctantly explain what psychic continuity and the human conception of personhood is to me, as chance reflections slip out, like the confusing threads of reason that circle my opinions. What intellect, as percieved, means to conciousness and dignity, the weight of insignificance to love on the soul, of eternity and chaos, of the infinite and the fractal. We will hold hands under my broken lamp and fly where angels are too afraid to soar. up, up, up, until we look god in the eye. The self and linear time will fall apart as toys in the hands of a child who has glimpsed what truth is. 

Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.

Matt Kahn

the night is still young. i can do yoga and use my oil pastels. i can cut another fruit. i can write in my journal. i can make a poem. i can invite the figure outside my window in

I can do basic arithmetic as a mathematician. I can easily do basic arithmetic as a mathematician. I can instantly do basic arithmetic as a mathematician. I can easily estimate operations on fractions as a mathematician. I can accurately estimate operations on fractions as a mathematician. I can instantly estimate operations on fractions as a mathematician. Novel proofs come easily to me. I am always correct when creating proofs. I am clearheaded when creating proofs. I am clever when creating proofs. I can detect counterexamples when creating proofs…

I appear completely human when outside the math department. My mind is not harmed from temporary excursions outside the math department. I can blend in with the humans when outside the math department. I can be social when outside the math department. I easily choose words to say that are not weird in social settings outside the math department…

I am supple and well fed. My body absorbs every nutrient from the coffee I drink. My body effortlessly turns coffee into theorems. My body efficiently turns coffee into theorems. My mind becomes more alert from the caffiene I drink. I can recieve proofs directly from Vishnu through all the coffee I drink. I can easily transcribe proofs from Vishnu through all the coffee I drink. My body naturally secretes theorems when provided with caffeine. My body effortlessly secretes theorems when provided with caffeine. My body's theorem secretions are exciting and novel. My body's theorem secretions are enticing to journals. My body's theorem secretions are rigorous. My body's theorem secretions can pass peer review…

My body naturally processes chalk powder into necessary carbon structures. My body instantly processes chalk powder into necessary carbon structures. My body efficiently processes chalk powder into necessary carbon structures…

I have full control over my emotions when presenting. I have effortless control over my emotions when presenting…

I am capable of resisting the urge to spit corrosive venom when asked what the applications are. I can effortlessly resist the urge to spit corrosive venom when asked what the applications are. I can swiftly resist the urge to spit corrosive venom when asked what the applications are…

I have full control over every integration problem. I have innate knowledge of many integration techniques. I have perfect knowledge of many integration techniques. I can apply trigonometric substitution correctly. I can apply trigonometric substitutions in a clarivoyant fashion. Knowledge of the derivative of the arctangent comes easily to me. My third eye is wide open. My third eye can easily recognize when a parameterization trick will be effective. My third eye can effortlessly recognize when a parameterization trick will be effective. My third eye will guide me to the most useful parameterization for any integral. My third eye has flawless knowledge of polar integration. My third eye can recognize integrals that can be solved more easily in polar form. My third eye can accurately recognize integrals that can be solved more easily in polar form. My third eye will catch missing polar constants. My third eye will catch missing indeterminate form constants. I am capable of remembering +C. I am capable of remembering the dx. I am capable of remembering the limits of integration…

I am capable of writing the addition symbol. The addition symbol does not singe my flesh. The addition symbol does not harm me in any way. The addition symbol does not cause me to involuntarily retract my hand in pain. I have independent control over each limb. I have full control over each limb. I have effortless control over each limb. My arms and legs respond to my every command. I am capable of resisting the urge to choke physicists. I am capable of resisting the urge to trip buisness majors…

Hypnosis works effectively on me. Hypnosis has no negative side effects on me. I am capable of reprogramming my subconscious mind. All positive and beneficial affirmations program my subconscious instantly. Affirmations I desire program my subconscious instantly. Affirmations I approve of program my subconscious instantly. I safely take in and absorb all subliminals. I bypass negativity to create instant and infinite results. All results gained from this subliminal are permanent.

"The sky can wait…"

🌼 poems that held my hand in may 🌼

Nocturne, Li-Young Lee

Your Name, Vahan Tekeyan

Sonnets to Orpheus 2;29, Rainer Maria Rilke

I stopped going to therapy, Clementine von Radics

Miyazaki Bloom, Nina Mingya Powles  

The Quiet Machine, Ada Limón

When we two parted, Lord Byron

Fragment, Amy Lowell

The Want of You, Angelina Weld Grimké

When Did It Happen?, Mary Oliver

Alone, Sara Teasdale

Peace XVIII, Khalil Gibran

𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝟸𝟾, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟶
 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟶-𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟹

my five year plan? read a lot of books. visit museums. walk through woods. stand in a river. adopt a little kitty. drink lemonade while sitting in a rocking chair on my porch.

I think the human condition is just finding magic in the compositions of people's mundanity. Knowing they love strawberry perfumes and aloe moisturizers, knowing their favourite ice-cream flavours and the song they can sing in their sleep, gosh knowing their sleep schedules and sharing dreams during breakfast. Knowing the motifs of their grief and the childhood stories behind the swings, the joy of knowing how they completed their day with 15 math problems, one incomplete art assignment, a sandwich for breakfast, a kind smile of a stranger who passed them, and not to mention dropping their phone 5 times. The inherent comfort in knowing the stories inside their kitchen, where the glasses are kept with their favorite mug adorning a Studio Ghilbi character and why they eat noodles in a dented red bowl. Their heat/cold tolerance, their spice tolerance, coffee orders and their favourite snack aisle at the grocery store. The art accounts they follow and their comfort youtube videos and their unhinged coping mechanisms. Oh the mortifying ordeal to be known but oh the gratifying relief in being known. Comfort lies in these compositions of mundanity. I think love hides in mundanity and I think magic is just being human, just being unfiltered like toothpaste stains pajamas, just being in the presence of each other

i'm a simple girl: i see sunlight on the water, i find god

taken by me

choral music is so beautiful

To love another as myself is the highest love possible because it signifies an erasure of division, no other, no rigid self either. The light of life is united through recognition and similarity

The limitations of language - sounds and symbols that encapsulate that which is fundamentally incommunicable - perception, first hand experience

I wonder what the impulse to beauty is, - thinking of Darwin - without all the jargon around it. Why should a pale pink cloud strike the eye as profound and beautiful? There is a pigeon drinking water a few feet from where I sit and the squirrels are chasing each other over half raised walls. Today, the evening tells me of something that has been in ruins for a period long enough for it to have ceased to matter. Somewhere a bird whispers, the ruins are to rise again, not in image of what was, but as a shrine what is now. The future seems less real than the past. why?

Today I feel closer to understanding human consciousness is the universe becoming aware of itself. There is simply no need to make a distinction between the self and the universe, except on conceptual terms. I am part of the world , without alienation, a fragment of the vast. This has to be understood beyond language for it to make sense.

“No writing is wasted. Did you know that sourdough from San Francisco is leavened partly by a bacteria called lactobacillus sanfrancisensis? It is native to the soil there, and does not do well elsewhere. But any kitchen can become an ecosystem. If you bake a lot, your kitchen will become a happy home to wild yeasts, and all your bread will taste better. Even a failed loaf is not wasted. Likewise, cheese makers wash the dairy floor with whey. Tomato gardeners compost with rotten tomatoes. No writing is wasted: the words you can’t put in your book can wash the floor, live in the soil, lurk around in the air. They will make the next words better.”

— ERIN BOW

while reading virginia woolf in class, my university professor mentioned how most victorian women often wrote about going to the sea and one of the most common theories behind it was that the sea symbolises a mother's womb and hence, their desire to crawl back into it. i wonder why, even to this day, we all find a sense of solitude by the sea, almost as if the world around us doesn't exist.

In love with the idea of rhythm, in music, in poems, in stories, in the quiet breathing of stray dogs, in the soft wind moving clouds, in the way my mind spins, in the way the world moves, everywhere, all the time. depersonalisation, I am somewhere inside the lizard hiding in the dusty crook of your bedroom, I am simultaneously in the pigeon nesting at twilight. Everywhere, all the time. 

i had an idea for a poem a little while ago but it got lost in life, in time, under a chair, under the blankets, outside a frosty window, beneath a quiet floorboard, under my tongue, inside your eyes

the soft courage and freedom that darkness brings

Rained yesterday. went upstairs and sat on a wall for the best part of an hour with my legs folded and eyes closed. spiritual experience.