I Think The Funniest Thing Star Wars Could Do Is Bring Back Kallus And Make It Canon That He Does Not

I do actually really like the idea of Zeb finding out Kallus has feelings for him when they're being kept hostage by some ISB agent who is taunting Kallus about defecting and ruining his life. And of course they notice and comment on how weirdly protective of and attached to Zeb he seems. And they have this moment of grabbing Zeb's face in a rough manner to get a good look at him like "what is it with you and this Lasat?" Then they see how Kallus' claw clenches and go "oh, I see 😏 you're in love with him, aren't you" with a judgey smirk. Zeb is about to scoff at the absurdity when he notices Kallus looking deadly pale and being uncharacteristically quiet

I had a thought about Lasan. People tend to agree that Zeb is kind of looked down on or seen as less intelligent by the people around him, despite him obviously being very smart, and I was wondering why that was. I do think there's some underlying xenophobia in the rebellion, even if it's not as rampant, that when someone looks at Zeb they might see him as something 'other' or somehow more animal like and therefore unintelligent. But then why does Zeb so frequently look down on himself as well? Is it just a lack of confidence? Well, I was thinking and I came up with this idea: what if the foundation of knowledge itself is different on Lasan compared to the rest of the galaxy?

So, hear me out, I'm a historian, I love history and there was a history class I was in some time ago that was all about the Aztec, Inca, and Maya, major empires each during their heyday, and in one of the units, we learned about the Mayan calendar and their number system (you don't have to be a mathematician for this, I promise) (I can't do math) (also this whole post is an excuse for me to talk about this cuz I think it's neat).

The Mayans (and by extension most people in Central America) used a completely different number system to do math. They used what's called a vigesimal system, not a decimal system. A decimal system is a Base 10 system: 1's, 10's, 100's.  This is the way we learn math today.

(sorry for the shitty quality. and the. stains. i was snacking on salt an vinegar chips and they spilled. ignore that.)

However a vigesimal system is not Base 10, but Base 20, and this changes the most basic arithmetic. Actually, it flat out changes the way numbers are read.

It seems like Lasan was a fairly isolated planet, there weren't a lot of Lasat seen in the galaxy at large, and Lasan was neutral during the Clone Wars, so it could be that there wasn't a big push to learn how things are done in the rest of the galaxy unless you were specifically planning on leaving Lasan. And since Zeb was in the Honor Guard, I don't imagine he ever even wanted to leave, but rather was forced to. Which means he probably never would've learned the systems that the rest of the galaxy used.

Now, I will say that the decimal system only exists because humans have ten fingers, which is why it called Base 10. And the vigesimal system exists because humans have ten fingers and ten toes, which is why it's called Base 20. Lasat have neither, which means they probably didn't use a vigesimal system; but it also means they probably didn't use a decimal system either. Not unless they imported it. Like I said, I'm not a mathematician, so I'm not even going to try to figure out what a Base 8 or a Base 16 number system looks like, I'm not that good at math.

But imagine, if you will, being forced to step out into a world where you can't even read numbers (I'm going to keep using vigesimal as an example). How would people look at you? Say you're in a foreign market and you're trying to scrape together enough credits to buy food. You look at the characters the rest of the galaxy uses and you have to translate them, so you're stood there staring at this price tag, the guy behind the counter is getting impatient. So you manage to translate the characters into the ones you know and pull out your credits. It's a 2 and an 8. 2x20 is 40 and an 8, is, well, 8. So you try to pay 48 credits for the food. Your new traveling companion clears his throat and tells you that's almost double the price and you really can't afford to lose credits on a translation error. Then you remember, they use tens. So 2x10 is 20. Not 40. Now the shopkeeper's looking at you funny, and your companion is paying the proper price for the food. And you have to just stand there, embarrassed, that you can't even do basic math.

So you get back to your new ship and there's this thing there, it's metal, and it thinks with a system called binary. Which is somehow a language based on a number system that you don't understand. And it's yelling at you. Loudly. And a lot. Would anybody blame you if you tried to punt the little trash can into the sun? If that was your experience day-in, day-out would you offer yourself up when somebody asks for ideas? I wouldn't. And to go through some version of that repeatedly without really being able to explain because first of all, who wants to learn new math just for you, and second of all, this is your second language anyway so how are you supposed to explain new math sufficiently when you have to translate everything in your head first. That would be crushing, and isolating. And some days, maybe it's just easier to be the dumb brute.

As someone who grew up bad at math, all STEM actually, and blonde (which doesn't seem like it'd be a big deal, but people really do treat like you're stupider than everyone else. Far and away NOT the worst hair-based discrimination, but the stereotype does get under your skin eventually) I was genuinely convinced I was stupid. I know now that my brain is wired for arts and humanities and I am NOT stupid. But my inability to do simple math without a calculator is humiliating to this day and I can really empathize with Zeb about feeling like you're lacking something that comes naturally to everyone else. The self-doubt and the self-loathing that come with looking around you and realizing that if you ask for help, you open yourself up to mockery because what's hard for you is basic for everyone else. It sucks. I don't blame Zeb for being so down on himself.

Zeb could've had the best education on Lasan but it truly doesn't matter how quality your education is if everyone around you reads 28 differently than you do. It's not a lack of intelligence, it's a translation error coupled with a lack of grace from the people around you. I'd beat myself up, too.

I'm not saying that I think this is what the writers had intended or anything, in fact, I don't think they thought about Lasan and it's culture all that much, if I'm being honest, but that's a thought for later. I just, I had this idea and wanted to share.

Can you believe this post exists because my dad bought me a mug lol. I collect mugs and my dad found one that has Mayan hieroglyphs carved onto it and he knows that I can understand a handful of glyphs and thought I'd like it. I don't have it yet but it's en route. Anyway, it got me thinking about ancient Maya and I've got kalluzeb brainrot and they collided and made this.

Liking character is fun until you think about them and you just have to stare at nothing for a few minutes because of how tragic

And mauybe you are almost crying but you are having fun

Chat I need yall to buckle up for the comic im gonna make where he then gets into an argument with her over the differences between a twink and a twunk

Happy Twink Death (bear dilf birth) to Alexsandr Kallus 🥳🥳🥳

(also a little prequel to this post)

I'm sick of internet negativity, so let's combat it: reblog this and saying something nice/pay a compliment to the prev in the tags.

I finally read the comic with Swain and I am literally in shambles

it will never not be funny that kallus spent one (1) night with zeb and decided to say fuck the empire so he could be gay in peace with his furry rebel boyfriend

Kallus is such a petty bitch. Like he's a former ISB agent so you just KNOW he pulls out a whole ass evidence folder when Zeb asks why he's mad at him