I Truly Wish I Could Get Cis People And Non-butches To Understand How Inherent Transness/butchness/gender-nonconformity

I truly wish I could get cis people and non-butches to understand how inherent transness/butchness/gender-nonconformity is for so many of us, specifically related to how visible it can be even when we do our damndest to hide it.

My parents suggested I detransition/try to appear “womanly” because it’s getting really dangerous where I live, and I’m just like…there is no world in which I can make that work. I was getting called a lesbian and a dyke as a teen before I even figured out I was gay. I was shoved up against a wall in college and sexually assaulted in public when I was in the process of coming out and presenting very femininely, specifically because I was a lesbian. Even when I spent hours playing with makeup because it was kind of fun (because I did wacky styles that make me think I was using it as a drag thing more than anything) I still stuck out next to cishet girls.

I’m not saying I can’t do things to improve my safety, but I have been butch/trans/gender-nonconforming my entire life. I cannot undo that from the fabric of who I am; even if I cover it up, the people who want to do harm can typically still pick up on it.