To Find.

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“Само искам да намеря себе си, изгубих се назад във времето, изгубих се в други хора, в техните мечти, в техните пътища. Искам да се намеря, искам да си помогна, искам да се извиня на себе си, защото не заслужавах да спирам да се грижа за себе си и да се пренебрегвам за другите, защото те винаги са имали план, винаги са имали път, а аз просто следвах пътища, които не бяха моите, мислейки си, че там някъде ще се намеря. “

Henry James, from The Portrait of a Lady

This deserves appreciation.♡

The fluency at which my mind thinks is blinding.

It's not surprising that tears form in the droop of my eyelids.

Every thought leads to another thats more detrimental than the last and it fuels the idea that my life's in a crisis.

Deep breaths. Leave stress behind and seek comfort in the warmth of the light.

What light?

The light that was shined in my face by my faith till it burnt my retinas and I felt like a slave?

Or the light that is promised when you behave and obey your time away and still end up laying in waste?

Say grace.

Kalokagathia. (Philosophical poem)

[Kalokagathos]; kalokagathia

the world's sorrow,it painted the sky in black,so the dark can rule the night.

but when the dawn has come,the sun that remain happiness,showing around the spread of shiny thoughts flying over the woods,it defeats the dark doom.

light sends bloom,recovering the earth from dying,there's no end,there's no beginning in a frame.

kalokagathia-a true form of goodness,joy and lots of incredible beauty;

nature is what we found,a piece of unbelievable art in human's mindful world,when the creatures talk and crawl,when there's more powerful hope,admiring the picture in my soul,

wearing mother nature's instincts,reaching for a place to shine.

world's in a season of sunset end

so many roads aren't taken

seems so easy to discover the truth,

my small body is ready to hug the whole universe.

hands in scars,though large,

they reach for art that

restores charge in

this bright environment.

you'll find my art in your eyes,

believe in goodness somewhere around the skies,

my heart tells everything i desire,

my wishes come true,

body burns on fire.

art is where we live in,

life is nothing without colours,

we keep to use when we fade to black,

we recover our energy to go distant enough.

our minds aren't pointless,

they remain mystery,

looking like a small infinity room,

but full with so many memories and thoughts,

saving human's identity.

body's never changing

world is calling,

faces are yelling,

art conceptions

feel so alive,

they live inside any

undetectable

M I N D.

-t.f.s.

Lost bird.

In her eyes i see million graveyards,

i see her in chains,her body is like caged,

in her world i was fighting alone,

the air smells like death,her eyes were green

like the poison that destroys,

she's a prisoner in her own mind,

she's trapped inside,she craved

for more wars-more desire,

her legs were moving themselves

like it wasn't her controling herself.

she was lost and in need to kill,

everyone was leaving her side,

that's why she became a weapon,

that's why her green shiny eyes cried,

but outside she was a death machine

for troubles and no one wanted to see,

that sadness made her dangerous to use,

the pain was never gone,she never lose..

....somewhere in the lost place of her own

the wind was blowing everything up,

and after the fog that scared million souls,

she was there,sitting on the edge,in a throne,

her scary existence was rare,staring on the center,

this creature had no idea what was hope to wear.

her world was falling apart,her love was taken,

she was drown inside with chains locked

deeper than ocean, malicious like a sin

empty as the void,she was keeper,

she was a reaper,sending souls' death away

i had to fight against her silent sadness,

i had to wash it all away and make her believe

that she was the loved one,she was needed to be free.

-t.f.s.

[Inspired by the anime Black rock shooter]

Part of me liked part of you

just because there was nobody

to like you like that too.

-t.f.s.

Motivation.

She is a friend,

desire, create

new elements

of worlds in place.

-t.f.s.

Inspiring.

Truth be told. I only hold the notion of hope so I can cope with the fact I have no control.

Every day it seems my emotions are laid out in front of me, splayed out and suddenly I'm drained out, my energy just fades out I want to be ok, but how?

I try to walk toward joy, but my legs give and the ground pulls me down in the usual way it seems to enjoy. My thoughts just turn into noise at this point. As the dirt cradles me, anxiety slips beside me and silently slides into my psyche.

I sink deeper into the earth and the dirt falls from the sides, spiders crawl up my thighs, I'm appalled when I cry out and my Lord won't reply.

Suffocating in this space the grace of God cannot reach this place. I accept my fate, quietly close my eyes and start my day.