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VALENTINE INTERLUDE     ୨୧     @lgcjunyi     /     her throat was dying, after belting out to wicked’s naughty high note — broken glasses withstanding — she needed to rest. she had just given the room the best they’ve ever heard — to lili’s standards — and what she wanted was a reward for her efforts.

beelining to junyi’s side, she sits next to the younger girl, reaching for an empty glass to fill with the pink punch that was going around. the reward she wished to be collected lay at the other’s tongue: “i’m parched — how’d your white day go?” cut to the chase; lili wanted details! “some guy gave me the grossest flower arrangements, yellow daisies! do i look like a yellow daisy type of person?” 

“mm, who knows. it would have been more interesting if she had thrown the chocolates in his face.” she says in passing, the melodramatics was lost on her. 

it was unfortunate that lili’s attention span was as flighty as she was but once something sparked her interest, she was like a dog with a bone. minyoung’s unexpected confession has her dropping the page her fingers were currently fiddling with — brow arched, lips parted in what could only be seen as surprise. 

“you’ve never — like never ever?” now, how could that be? then she finds herself doing damage control — righting her appalled face with what she hopes appears as a gentle, reassuring smile. “nooo — of course not, it doesn’t mean anything. maybe they just haven’t found the right time, or the right chocolate!” yea, that had to be it — then the guilt sets in for lying, “or well, is there anyone you’re interested in? or who are interested in you? does has to be someone. people these days even give friendly chocolate, it doesn’t always have to be romantic.” 

minyoung looked up at the sound of her name being called. she smiled sweetly over at lili, who wanted to perform something to wow the crowd. minnie's advice of doing something she has fun with wasn't very good, it seems, as the other was still pouring over the song list. "i'm down for any song! i mean i just did eternal sunshine with junyi. want to do another english song?"

minnie wasn't nearly as observant as lili was. whenever she was in public, lili's eyes were always watching, observing, taking note. minnie didn't really look unless it was something truly interesting. by then, lili would have already clocked what was going on.

she hums, eyes shifting to the scene lili describes with mild interest. lili found it to be a bust but minnie was instantly interested. "oh wow. do you think maybe they have a fling? isn't it super bold to offer chocolates at a company event like this? or maybe is that super genius because it looks like all the other chocolates here?"

when the questioning was transferred over to herself, minyoung blushed deeply. her eyes suddenly became glued to the karaoke book. "i uhm....i've never received chocolates before...." the confession makes her feel a little pathetic. nearly twenty-three years old and she couldn't recall a single time where someone chose her as an object of affection during this time of year. "i mean...i guess it's not that big of a deal, right? i always thought it was kind of... unfortunate that i've never gotten any but it doesn't mean anything...right? right?"

lili sighs, letting another resigned hand run through her hair. “no, nothing’s hurt.” just my ego — she thinks while trying not to glare at the little boy standing right behind asami who was currently giving her the evil eye. the second asami turns her head, lili throws a stuck-out tongue his way before sidling back up to asami’s side.

“please don’t leave me with them, who knows what else i’ll be subjected to — they’re ….” chaotic, life-sucking, evil gremlins. “unpredictable.” she says instead of all the things she wished she could — but who knows whose ears were listening in and wasn’t it a thing for kids to parrot back everything they hear?

that would not be a good thing.

( especially for lili and her very unrefined filter-less speech )

crossing her arms, she allows asami to gather the kids in front of them; unexpectedly she stands a step behind asami — as if hiding behind her in case of, well, just in case — as the other girl gets the kids to somehow apologize for their wrongdoings.

and lili — despite not wanting to — has to be the bigger person, she was the adult here, right?

right?

once their apologies are given — though, lili thinks they sound a little forced — she nods, sighing, “it’s okay, i forgive you.” a hand reaches out to shake each of their sticky hands without grimacing — +1 for lili! “let’s shake on it.”

Asami does the best she can to pull Lili up as gracefully as she can. Asami isn't necessarily strong, but Lili is light as a feather, so even though her moral wasn't doing well right now, Asami thinks there was no dignity lost in the process.

Asami doesn't miss the way she addresses the kids, either. And even though she doesn't really agree with the terms of endearment, Asami can't stop the little smile from forming on her lips. The kids, indeed could be a little way too much. "But you're okay right? Nothing hurts?" she asks Lili instead as she brushes the older's hair off her shoulder.

Asami is genuinely ready to leave Lili give the kids a earful given the circumstances they've put her on. They are volunteers and not punching bags after all, but before that happens Asami shakes her head when she notices Lili slightly panicking. "No, no, don't worry. It's just that kids can leave lollipops in the weirdest places, but you're alright," and to prove her point she stretches her neck to get a full 360º looking for any damage and could find none. "You're just slightly disheveled, but you're still pretty," she tries to ease her worries before turning to the kids. "Now kids, I hope you understand you weren't really nice to Lili noona. She didn't want to play this game, and when we play we should all want to participate, isn't that what we agreed on?" and she receives a few reluctant nods, "what do we say when we do something wrong, then?" and they obediently turn to Lili to offer her their apologies.

໒꒱ . LGC’S CHARITY CONCERT # 2024  、

in hindsight, if lili knew where she would be assigned to perform — maybe she would have chosen songs that were better suited for the environment. singing about loneliness in front of five year olds in a language they were less than acquainted with was not what lili had pictured when she had submitted her song lists to the coaches all those weeks ago.

if they had been given the heads up, maybe she would have thrown in a few more dance songs rather than singing about a love yearned or a love missed. lili had definitely missed her target audience by a long shot. a part of her wishes she had traded with someone else from day 1 — now, it was too late to wish, much too late to regret.

and without much thought of much else — it wasn’t like she had much choice to do anything other than what she had prepared — she lays her regrets in the back of her head. her confidence shot, her song choices shoddy at best, she was at odds with herself by the time it came for her last time at the mic.

as she’s begun her final song — had watched as the kids’ eyes rolled to the back of their heads at her last song — she could already imagine the chorus of internal groans at how another slow song was ready to leave her lips.

and yet, she carries herself as she’s always done; her confidence had always been something as strong as a mountain’s will; nothing could truly shake her, even if her crowd was less than thrilled at her song choices, she sings as if they’re all dying for an encore ( instead of the other way around ) — the heartache in her voice probably going over their heads — but she learns, as the last of the song departs her; the mist in the eyes of the center’s employees is hard to miss her gaze. and with that, lili is satisfied.

at least, lili could say she touched someone’s heart this holiday season.

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

soaking up the springtime sunshine

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

here or —

“since july, it’s only been a couple months.” if lili put it altogether, she would have been a trainee for three years and a handful of months but who was counting — ever since she had got dropped earlier that year from her last company, it had seemed like time was infinite and she was stuck at the pit a of a sandglass.

slowly awaiting for it to swallow her whole.

even whilst joining a new company, lili often wondered what the fuck she was still doing in korea — then again, did she have anywhere else to return to if not here?

“have you been  here long?”

the other’s inquiries are interesting — not something she’s asked often and it does park a small, amused smile to her lips. compelled to the humor the other, she shrugs. “as often as you’d see a celebrity here, so i guess — quite often? if you hear the click of a camera, you’d think they were on every block.” los angeles had been a home for a good while — a place lili could only dream of once upon a dream — now she called it her hometown, how funny. “anywhere is dangerous if you go looking hard enough for it.” 

“nope,” she shakes her head, not that she ever would want to. “i don’t think i ever well, i don’t do scary things and i heard australia is full of them.”

❛ Oh no, I agree. Sometimes the coaches here can be too much. How long have you been a trainee, if I may ask? ❜ Amelia was curious how long the other girl had been here if she was still not used to how the trainers were in Legacy.

Upon hearing where the other was from, Amelia perked up slightly. ❛ Oh the infamous LA! Wow! I've always wanted to visit LA. I've heard a lot about it. Is it true you can see celebrities on the street or is it just a rumour? How is it by the way? I've heard it's beautiful but also dangerous. ❜ Amelia's face shifted slightly but not too much to alert the coach who was still as confused as before.

❛ Oh me? I'm from Australia! Though I'm not sure how much of my accent shows. ❜ She chuckled. ❛ Have you ever been? ❜

meet ! xu lili ( 徐莉莉 ), '01 —  i’m the prettiest poison you’ve ever seen.

re:  prof  /  points  / tags  /  pinterest 

𝟭 . DISC — upon request! / TWIT — @/ninithots / OOC.

there were many things lili should be right now:

encouraging, sympathetic — even more, empathetic — a good pillar of support to a friend who was going through something that lili could only understand at surface level.

what lili should not be right now is bitter.

but her little green friend sits high on her shoulder, on a pedestal of envy that could not be toppled with something as heartfelt as ‘being a good friend’. no, lili had never been a good friend — even when she tried her hardest, at her core, she was a selfish friend who was also ambitious to a fault. so, when she sees someone else who had something that she wanted and could never get — well, something had to give.

unfortunately, lili was not a giving person.

( at least not in that way )

yujin was only being honest. and any good, trustworthy friend should be considerate to the other’s feelings. but was there anything lili could say to remedy the situation that didn’t sound so … volatile? nothing seemed to come to mind, everything that nearly dripped from her lips felt like a slap to the face waiting to happen. 

so, instead, she sighs when yujin regresses and instantly she feels a pang of guilt shoot right into her gut at how she had nearly bit the other's head off, but before she could stop herself and lessen the blow; her ugly head reared itself again, “so, you got everything you could have ever wanted, yujin, the pressure should have been expected as a trade off to debuting, right?”

there was always a give and take with these things — fame wasn’t given to the weak. "wasn’t this why we spent all this time training so that we wouldn’t break under this type of pressure?"

yujin knew how lucky she was to be in this position after failing future dreams. the doom she felt in her chest the following week was unsettling, and she started to prepare what she would do if she couldn't debut. she had trained for so many years that not debuting on that show had felt like all her hard work was starting to slip through her fingers.

to debut into crystallis, there was a new set of pressure on her shoulders, and yujin felt it from the managers and the fans, who probably weren't so pleased with the latest additions to the group. for the rest of her career, she will play catch-up with the other girls and constantly prove her worth, that she has every right to be there on that stage.

these words shamelessly slipped from the blonde's mouth to her friend, lili. she didn't want to complain or seem ungrateful, but there was something still so unsettling about her placement now. it would take time for her to get used to everything, to being an idol and in a group that was already so well established. there was always going to be some sort of struggle in this journey, but as long as she was able to get this off her chest, yujin would feel better.

well, she thought she would feel better if the tone shift didn't make yujin fidget in her seat. there was a small smile that tightened on her lip. maybe she was thinking way too much into this.

"ah, nothing... i think it was just something i needed to share with someone i trust. you work so hard to get to this point, and you never realize the amount of pressure set on you to be perfect."

“you have a point there,” she murmurs quietly, fingers tapping mindlessly at the desk they were seated at.

“don’t forget there’s also to, too and two. oh! and complement and compliment. it’s honestly insane.” her english as a second language class had been hell growing up; if she had been asami’s shoes, she would have thrown her hands up and called it a day but alas, here they both were, suffering through english. fortunate for lili, she liked learning languages; unfortunately for lili, it was fueled by her need to succeed and to prove others wrong for doubting her and her lovely intellect. 

“english is full of things that sound the same but are spelled different, it’s dumb but … it’s english.” she says as if that would help asami's predicament at all. it didn't but lili truly didn't know what else to say, "you know what you need is a break! should we go for lattes?"

Asami smiles satisfied with herself for pulling that reaction out of Lili. She shrugs, "As far as you know, I might only be able to count up to ten and know how to ask for directions to the bathroom. When I got to Korea, that was all I knew for like a month. Oh, and also colors!" Asami points her finger up like she made a discovery at the addition of that last piece of information.

She could feel her head starting to hum with the foreshadow of a headache. Learning new things that didn't require her moving often left that little impression in her. "It makes no sense. The best way to keep us from saying idiotic things is by not being able to say them at all," she says with a little pout and a sigh, but then she deflates, "I understand how this is important, since it's a easier language for most people to follow abroad, but doesn't change the fact that is so confusing," Asami points at the screen where she is seeing interesting language facts where the words 'they’re, their and there' are all side by side, "These all sound exactly the same."

call it relief or whatever, but when sarang gives her a promise — lili makes due to hold her to it.

( because there was no way in hell lili was going to haul her passed out ass from this bathroom if it comes to it — then again, if she had passed out maybe it would stop all their peers from haa-ing all over the place )

no, no — that would be unkind — to wish someone would pass out, especially if that someone looked close to tears and near death from whatever was going on inside her pretty head. lili couldn’t be the reason for something bad happening — not again.

so, as relief fills her, she trades her sigh of ease to one of a gentle smile, if you could call it that. trying to rack her brain for any words of comfort, kicking herself for being … lili … instead of someone like taeha who was so good at words and comfort. 

settling for a — it’s okay — a shoulder lifts, nonchalantly. “everyone has their bad days,” not lili, per say, but that wasn’t something she could say now. 

“no worries, the worst they could do is make us run around the gym again.” on second thought — “just give yourself a minute — okay? you don’t need to rush yourself.” 

the last thing she wanted, was someone to be worried.

well, someone worrying over her. this was stupid. she was stupid. people got bad comments all of the time, people had bad days. it was her own need not be seen as not perfect. it wasn't just about being perfect, she was wrong. not okay or even unremarkable but wrong. and wrong in front of everyone.

it took a moment to realize that lili was still speaking to her. it was that easy to get lost in her own head. sarang tried to focus on the breathing. she nodded her head to the question, she knew breathing options. it was her own thoughts doing this to her. sarang tried her best to follow, to calm her breathing. more importantly, to forget about what happened.

it was the comment about passing out that managed to get a strangled laugh from her. "p-promise." she muttered out, she was sure she wouldn't pass out. hopefully. she breathed slowly, still counting in her head. when sarang was through the worst of it, she was able to speak again. "i- i-i'm so sorry you h-had to s-s-see that." she was read from the embarrassment. "j-just a bad d-day, you s-should g-go back, i wouldn't want you to get in trouble."