Her Thumb Slides From The Capture Button To The Left — Engaging Her Camera’s Burst Mode As She Immediately

she smiles — probably her most genuine one that week; brow raising in expectation at his suggestion. “why — you’re not offering, are you?” lili has half the mind of accepting if that were the case, but maybe once (or twice or — how many times has she used him for such an occasion? she’s lost count at this point)

“oh, really, now?” her fist fits gingerly beneath her jaw, leaning in upon intrigue at his observations of the day — the retelling of an otherwise boring meeting spruced up at the mention of his mother. “tell me all about it.” eyes sparkling at the promise of something juicy for her eager ears to feast on — gossip, though unsightly, always had its merits in making her feel better, especially on the days her grandmother not-so-subtly ditches her. “how did she look — no, what did she say?”

call it an act of rebellion or a battle of wills — or maybe lili was just tired of playing the role of the ‘woe is thou’ and wounded — but the second she found out her grandmother had once again cancelled on her once again, lili was done playing a facade that was barely holding on by a thread. tape and plaster could do little to hold up what once was, such tools were futile to what true care and attention could do. unfortunately, lili knew such a thing — so, maybe in hindsight, it was better to shed these masks rather than cling to their rugged shards.

abandoning her role to play, sitting there to listen to a meeting that had nothing to do with her except play appearances was not how she wanted to waste her free time. the downfall of her crude decree of renouncing these responsibilities were that they had to fall on someone …. and sadly, that someone had to be yutai.

when she arrives, she comes with a consolation — or was it a perceived condolence? — in tow, a box of chocolates she had picked up in cheongdam on her way over. ducking into the fluorescence of the convenience store, she taps him on the shoulder with a passing hand; nearly missing his cup of ramen as she drops the dressed up chocolatier tote onto the counter. “as a thank you for your service today.”

it was lili’s best way of apologizing, even if an apology would never leave her glossed lips. ( it’s like they say, better than nothing, right? )

oh, he was infuriating.

behind his smile, lili knew he was enjoying every second of this — that darling devil of a man was truly cruel. how dare he play her when he knew she could do nothing but smile through it — oh, the earful he was going to get after the cameras turn off was going to be a big one.

her eyes roll, this is the one thing she can’t help, when he denies her hint — a pout already forming on her plump lips as she takes the ski poles from him. “fine, be that way, i guess i’ll just have to wait to be dazzled.”

she shakes her head, trying — but purposely failing — to keep her laugh from spilling from her cheeks as she shuffles forward, “it’s only a bunny slope, you should get down with no worries! just keep yours in front of you and your knees slightly bent!”

lili makes her first ride down with ease — a practiced simplicity that comes with experience. a bunny hill was always the best for beginners. it was barely even a hill, if lili thought of it, not even too far from where she sees minkyu riding, shortly after her.

This is fun. This is so much fun.

Minkyu isn’t mischievous by nature - not really - but there’s something endlessly entertaining about doing all the things he knows Lili isn’t particularly fond of, without the usual fear of being scolded. After all, she can’t exactly bark at him like she normally would, not with the cameras rolling. And that? That makes it even more fun.

( Though he’s well aware he won’t hear the end of it once filming wraps. )

He grins, proud, as Lili tells him he did well with the skis. But instead of accepting the praise, he lifts a single gloved hand, wiggling his pointer finger in playful denial. “No, no. You’re not getting any information out of me! A surprise is only a real surprise if the receiver is completely clueless.” His smile stretches wide, a chuckle slipping between his words.

What she doesn’t know is that he’s actually prepared two surprises. But that’s for him to know and her to find out.

“I can promise you, though: it’ll leave you speeeeeechless.”

That cheeky little grin of his makes another appearance as he hands her the ski poles, then secures the straps of his own around his wrists. “Alrightie, lead the way, Miss Ski Princess! I’ll be following closely and trying not to fall on my butt.”

CHEF BOY ARE WE FUCKED. where lili is no chef and @jiahlgc knows.

lili could feel it in her bones: exhaustion.

and it wasn’t even the good type of exhaustion — the one you usually get after a good dance practice, or after a hot stone massage. no — it was the one where every part of your body ached, even just moving a finger seemed to hurt. she frowns, pulling on the tap to turn on the hot water, ready to scrub her hands raw — as if doing that would clean them well enough to do their next task: cooking.

ugh, it never seemed to end, did it?

were they supposed to be variety stars or manual laborers?

“ugh, my fingernails are filthy.” lili mutters, more to herself than to anyone really. though, it doesn’t really hurt that the only one in earshot happens to be her roommate, who she is sure is already used to lili’s dramatics — if one could call it that.

her eyes pass from where she was currently brushing, hard, at her fingertips to jiah’s pretty manicure. “how’d you clean your nails so fast?” 

and then, after a long pause, with a hint of disbelief at the sight of her roommate: “— wait, you’re not seriously going to cook are you?”

໒꒱ . LGC’S CHARITY CONCERT # 2024  、

in hindsight, if lili knew where she would be assigned to perform — maybe she would have chosen songs that were better suited for the environment. singing about loneliness in front of five year olds in a language they were less than acquainted with was not what lili had pictured when she had submitted her song lists to the coaches all those weeks ago.

if they had been given the heads up, maybe she would have thrown in a few more dance songs rather than singing about a love yearned or a love missed. lili had definitely missed her target audience by a long shot. a part of her wishes she had traded with someone else from day 1 — now, it was too late to wish, much too late to regret.

and without much thought of much else — it wasn’t like she had much choice to do anything other than what she had prepared — she lays her regrets in the back of her head. her confidence shot, her song choices shoddy at best, she was at odds with herself by the time it came for her last time at the mic.

as she’s begun her final song — had watched as the kids’ eyes rolled to the back of their heads at her last song — she could already imagine the chorus of internal groans at how another slow song was ready to leave her lips.

and yet, she carries herself as she’s always done; her confidence had always been something as strong as a mountain’s will; nothing could truly shake her, even if her crowd was less than thrilled at her song choices, she sings as if they’re all dying for an encore ( instead of the other way around ) — the heartache in her voice probably going over their heads — but she learns, as the last of the song departs her; the mist in the eyes of the center’s employees is hard to miss her gaze. and with that, lili is satisfied.

at least, lili could say she touched someone’s heart this holiday season.

BY GOOD WILL OR GOOD LUCK? is this lili being nice or is it just luck? — @lgckyoka

one would think — if you’ve been through one thing, something similar to it would be a breeze?

well, to lili, she’d say you were dead wrong. 

( because no two things could be the same, there was always something different )

thankfully, this was not one of those times — these were one of the times she’s able to bless her lucky stars for being so god-damned, four-leaf clover lucky. but perhaps luck had nothing to do with it — because, again, if you’ve been through one thing, you’ve been through it all. 

and since lili had painstakingly gone through grueling work to learn japanese just for some mock hosting gig that never saw the light of day — to do it again, but in korean — a language she would say she was a little more than familiar with, well — lili would tell you she just won the lottery.

that is how lucky she thinks such a task is.

a breeze, it would be — despite her initial belief ( read above ) — because wasn’t hosting all about self confidence? and apparently, lili had that in spades.

and by her good fortune — maybe she was feeling nice or maybe she felt bad for kyoka — she saddles up next to the other after an afternoon lesson, glancing over at the other’s notes before pointing at a phrase she notices with her sparkly pink pen. 

“is this what you wrote for the exercise earlier? the one about improvising a music show scene?”

“would it be so bad if i said i didn’t mind a kfc,” now who was she and what had she done with xu lili? the girl who complained about the smell of fried chicken oil and how it would induce a zillion and one underground pimples by morning seemed to be nowhere to be seen. “at least they would welcome our presence.” 

would they make a cake out of chicken legs if she mentioned that it was her birthday?

“yea —“ her eyes drift to her heels, “for sure, definitely not dressed for anything outdoorsy. let’s also not climb any hills, i don’t think my body can take any more stress.” she knows seoul is made up of nothing but hills but if anything, it was a subtle yet desperate plea for a taxi ride rather than slumming it in the subway.

her steps begin to slow as she thinks over the options more seriously, feeling the chill in the air as she suddenly comes to a stop and is not incensed by the warmth from walking. “mmm, i’d say warm and cozy. anything but cold, please.”

"we can make it work, even if its..." jisoo side eyes lili, "a hole in the wall." at this point, most things truly were closed around this time, but he's sure there were some homely mom and pop shops, or businesses that knew they could take advantage of these days, where everyone else had off. "i promise, i am not dragging you to KFC or anything that defaults in that direction." that would make it even more of an unhappy birthday now, wouldn't it?

"but you didn't even have a birthday cake... we're going to have to remedy that." hopefully it didn't mean him baking one but if it had to happen. if his eye does a slight twitch, jisoo doesn't comment.

"not to be completely lacking adventure, it is not about me and i'd rather not completely misguide it so would you prefer something warm, or cold, relaxing... cozy, or random and," heaven forbid, "i am not going to give you the option of outdoorsy because a, we aren't dressed for it and b, i'd rather us not end up sick."

•  ໒꒱ . CHUSEOK # 2024 、

lili wakes in a bed not her own on september seventeen.

the middle of the week, from below, seoul had become a ghost town; veteraned city dwellers crawling back to their hometowns for the three-day holiday. from where she woke, lili lays in bed, still stuffed in her pajamas and the lush terry-cloth robe afforded by the hotel.

it takes her a moment to react, still trying to figure out how and why she was anywhere but her bed in the dormitory or her bed in her apartment in cheongdam then she remembers and kind of wishes she doesn’t. pulling the covers over her head when she hears the notable knock on the door, the sign of the room service she had requested the night before when she had been left on her own by the end of the day.

ramming her feet into the pair of slippers at the end of the bed, she makes to the door — still not ready to start the day but it was now or never.

and well, lili was never one to dwell on spilled milk, anyways.

( even if the traces of such a thing were still found having run dry on her cheeks )

having promised her september sixteen for her time, lili still could not believe it. it was unheard of, yes, and lili, quite frankly, hadn’t expected her grandmother to be so proactive in scheduling for her time and yet, lili could not help but be excited. 

expected to spend the day, arriving to seoul that very afternoon, they had booked a quiet lunch at a hotel in myeongdong. it had been months since she last saw her grandmother, was it last year that she had seen her last? it had been that long.

with a laundry list of grievances, lili puts it behind her, puts her best ( read: newest ) dress on and rides to myeongdong with a smile that could not be contained. even the driver, who’s known lili since she had arrived in seoul, finds it questionable but doesn’t press her for it, lest it loses its shine from the most minor intrusion.

arriving on time — consideredlate in her grandmother’s book — she rides to the top floor, all the nerves and anguish bundled in her tiny fist as she clutches her fendi to her chest and steps, head held high, towards the hostess.

the expected, “your party has already arrived, follow me.” makes lili’s insides twist but her smile doesn’t fall; keeping in time with the woman as she follows behind to a pair of doors centered at the back of the restaurant, it’s patrons littered to a select few due to the nature of the holiday.

when the other makes a move to open the doors, lili stops her, thanking her for her guidance only for lili to take a hand to the knob herself. she needed the moment to be alone, she needed the breath that she had been holding in ever since she had stepped off the lift.

with a brief one, two — inhale, exhale — she pulls the door away from its hinges, stepping into the room.

and her guise falls.

her expectations have run dry and to no one’s surprise, her smile finally loses its luster.

“so, where is she?” she asks, taking her seat across from one of her grandmother’s lesser-of-importance assistants. one who probably knew korean and wouldn’t have minded the mini-vacation, the one that she had been granted after she took care of the errand her grandmother had sent her on.

the errand?

breaking the news to her beloved granddaughter.

“beijing. they’re awarding her for her work in the eco-development of ….” that’s when lili tunes her out, feeling the grip on her fist loosen as her eyes lose sight of the person in front of her and all she wants to do — all she really can do is wait there until the woman finishes whatever she was ordered to do.

“the chairwoman paid for your stay at the hotel, if you’d like to eat we can also order a meal.”

that’s when lili stands, fingers now digging into the beads of her bag. “no, let’s go to the room, i’ve suddenly lost my appetite.”

she watched the assistant round the table and knew the other was counting her blessings; out of all the things lili could do, she was lucky to have found a day lili was too tired to try.

making someone’s life hell could be saved for another day, lili was too busy trying to pick up the pieces of her pride.

they ride down to a different level and lili follows her down the winding hallway to a suite on the far side of the floor. 

a hand waves the key card to its function and the click of the door has it open before lili can slip from her daze.

“would you like me to —”

“actually,” she cuts in, then, hand on the door to stop the other from entering. “i’d like to be alone. please wish my grandmother a happy 中秋节 for me.”

she had the sense to know that, at least, her grandmother would check in whether the assistant had completed her job before she would ever pick up the phone to actually call lili about it — not when the fuse and all the dramatics that come with it had been lit.

leaving lili with the room key, the door closes and the first thing lili does is toss her bag to the bed, noticing the packed suitcase by the balcony door and she can’t help but laugh. the woman really had planned it all despite saying she would make time for her.

and rather than own up to her mistake of ever promising anything, she found a way around it, with a non-apology of money — the stuffed pack had barely fit in her bag — and a paid stay at a luxury hotel hotel. 

lili knew she shouldn’t have held her expectations — 

fuck, but she had already let them run away with her before she could help it, she thinks, sinking herself into the comfort of a warm duvet and the low-lit chandelier. feeling the depths of the silence render her emotional. 

had the quiet ever felt so lonely as it did today? 

she tells herself she’ll allow herself the tears. she’s granted it this one time and after that, she’ll never think of it again for the rest of the year.

what lili doesn’t consider is the way the tears come and never stop.

EYE OF THE STORM     ୨୧    @yujinlgc     / backdated !

it was an ill-kept secret that lili was rotten to the core. sure, she liked to think of herself as a better, bigger person when it came to most things but even the ugly head of jealousy was hard to hide. 

harder to hide when one of her close friends — at least, closer than most — had just debuted before her. 

yujin deserved it, of course she did, she worked harder than anyone she knew but that couldn’t — wouldn’t — stop lili from secretly wishing for her despair, her downfall, because deep down that was just how vile her heart was — how despicable her ambition had ruined her. but it wasn’t like it was yujin’s fault that lili was left behind — falling through the cracks so far below to not even be considered — no, it wasn’t yujin’s fault at all.

and yet, that wouldn’t — couldn’t — stop lili from blaming her. 

but like any bigger, better person, lili was trying her best to keep it hidden; smiling when she sees her friend at her debut showcase. grinning and bearing it when she sees her friend’s face all over her social media. she was the bigger and better person, but lili was seething through it all.

very much so as she sits beside her so-called friend and listens, with bated breath, as the other vented about struggling with her new-found fame, god — it was taking everything within her from rolling her eyes, livid at what she was hearing. 

“so,” lili deadpans, about a word or two from being fed up, trying to simmer her anger as she gnaws at the straw of her matcha latte. “what do you want me to say, yujin?”

໒꒱ . TRAINEE MISSION # 15 、REFLECT

this is stupid, she thinks. 

it’s a waste of time, is another thought that boulders by, when she’s saddled with the sash that cinches her waist and nearly ceases the blood flowing along her thigh. when fingers curl into said sash, she feels her veins pop and her body tense against impact. it wasn’t that lili couldn’t play the game — she could if she really, reallytried to — it’s that she would rather be doing something that wouldn’t ruin her hair that she had spent all morning straightening out and give her blotchy bruises that would take weeks to go away. something like kite flying or throwing those sticks around.

what was it called again? yut … something …

yutnori, was it?

it was harmless — throwing around sticks until one or the other gets mal and is back to the beginning.

yeah, that was easy — that was fun. lili had enjoyed that. would probably go as far as to say it was one of her favorite games in the last few weeks. because that wouldn’t result in bodily injuries being subjected under the guise of friendly competition.

yeah — that. lili would much prefer doing that instead of being thrown about like a rag doll in the eyes of some murderous trainee who lili had probably fucked over sometime this year. ( not a joke, also not funny — and lastly, ow )

thrown onto her back — she cries foul! 

that time she really must have dislocated something, her shoulder? her neck — her entire left buttock, perhaps? something to excuse her from the ordeal of basically being pretzeled minus the salt. the round lasts for less than a minute, a flash dance of limbs leaving her breathless and finally she’s removed from the ring, left to nurse her ‘wounds’ by the side with a horrifying grimace upon her lips. the aching at her hip was sure to leave one of those nasty bruises she was hoping she wouldn’t be getting. 

but alas, said murderous trainee just had to throw in some type of special taekwondo move into the mix. 

once more, the thought crosses as she hisses at the pain now echoing from her pelvic bone: 

stupid, stupid, stupid.

“i bid you no harm!” raised above her head, lili rises from where she had been laying in secret; where the hope of the other passing by her undetected had been all but lost, lili knew it was better to admit quick defeat than harbor another’s ire unto herself — she already had enough of that with the authorities. 

( she could only hope her picture plastered all over the kingdom’s posts did not do her justice )

she emerges from the shadows, slowly. assessing the situation with every dire step she took towards the unknown voice, if necessary, lili would run — there was no knowing how far she would get, but if all else failed, it would be her first prerogative to get the hell out of there.

 in the light, her eyes adjust, blinking for effect as she settles her gaze upon the other girl — and to her surprise, relief floods her, immensely. hands sought unto the girl’s wrist as first chance, nearly pummeling over the other in her rush. “miyu!” she couldn’t believe her eyes, what were the chances? had her luck changed? could miyu her lucky charm, per say? “w-what are you doing here?” the poisoned gardens hadn’t been the first place she would have pegged the other to venture, but then again, neither would lili be caught dead there, as well, if it hadn’t been exactly the place no one would come looking for her. 

━━ gyeseung | blossom ( @lgclili ) 

what drew miyu to the poisoned garden was mainly curiosity. though she had never truly been interested in the art of healing, her parents had tried desperately to teach her the tricks of their trade. seeing the dimension in the pocket realm, something pulled her towards it. she's forgotten most, if not all, of the craft, but is determined.

her journey begins and miyu starts to seek out a certain ingredient that will help restore the shine to her instrument, something to help polish it. it's an act of defiance in a way; using what she'd found in a way that her parents would turn their nose up to. she doesn't intend to stay in the garden for twenty days, not concerned with gaining poison immunity.

in fact, she'd rather get in and out as quickly as possible.

there's no map, no directions, but there's a picture burned in miyu's mind of what she needs to harvest. after searching for what feels like days, she's tired and ready to turn back. until she hears a rustling behind her.

"who's there?" she shouts, eyes darting around the area. miyu listens carefully, waiting for a response, sensing that someone else was in the area. "are you a friend, or are you a foe?"