I'm Very Eepy And My Brain Thought This Would Be Funny. Batfam Partners Reacting To Being Called Daddy

My dear lgbt+ kids,

"The normal amount of pain to be in is zero" can be empowering for someone - and the very same sentence may trigger someone else.

Do you have chronic pain and need a reminder that you deserve to be taken seriously? In that case, it's likely a relieving thing to hear! It counteracts the ways in which people may dismiss your struggles ("Everyone has a headache sometimes, you are just being whiny" etc.).

Do you have health anxiety? In that case, it's likely a scary thing to hear! It may feel like a confirmation of your (subconscious) belief that there is something seriously wrong ("I had a headache the other day, oh no, I knew this is not normal, it must be a brain tumor!")

Is the point of this letter that people with chronic pain shouldn't use this affirmation anymore? No, of course not. It's not so much about this specific sentence at all. I just want to remind you that one and the same sentence can take on a different meaning depending on the circumstances.

In the example above, I used two groups with completely different health issues - but even for two people with chronic pain or two people with anxiety, there will likely be "helpful reminders" that are actually only helpful for one of them. And that also goes for two trans people, two lesbians etc. We do not all benefit from exactly the same pieces of advice.

If people praise one specific affirmation/reminder/advice as super helpful and it actually makes you feel worse, it doesn't mean you are not trying hard enough to think positively or that you don't want to feel better - it probably just means that it wasn't made for your circumstances.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

'A Flush Of Evergreen' Necklace, A Piece In Zoya's 'Beyond--A Boundless Journey' Collection

Emeralds, Tourmaline and Diamonds

Source: vogue.in

(TW: Sex mention, genitalia mention) 

Anonymous asked: Is it transphobic to want to know if a boy is trans? I feel like no. If he is a boy and has no pp, he should tell me. It’s lying and lying is wrong. But I don’t know. What’s your take? 

My dear lgbt+ kid, 

Let me ask you a different question: If someone had a unusually small or big penis, would you expect them to tell you?

Probably yes, if they’re about to have sex with you. It could influence the way they have sex, the positions they are comfortable in etc. and it’s good to let you know beforehand, so you can decide if you feel comfortable with that, too, and can give informed consent. 

In any other situation, however, you wouldn’t expect them to tell you. You wouldn’t expect them to tell everyone they meet right away - because it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if your best friend, your teacher, your uber driver or your favorite influencer has more/less inches down there than the average cis-man has. It doesn’t change anything for you and shouldn’t influence the way you treat them. In fact, all those people would rightfully feel horrified if you demanded to know how long their penis is.

You would never call them a liar for not telling you about that, would you? Even if you get in the car and think your uber driver is hot, it’s not their responsibility to tell you “By the way, my penis is X inches” right there. They wouldn’t lie to you by not providing that info - your attraction to them is your business, not theirs. Even if you give them your number and you two start flirting over text, even then you would fully understand that they wouldn’t tell you until things get more serious and they feel safe and comfortable with you. 

So, should a person let you know if they have a penis? Only if it’s necessary for you to know. If it’s not necessary, then it’s their decision if they feel comfortable enough to tell you. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

Gold ring with intaglio of young Marcus Aurelius, Roman, circa 140 AD

from Timeline Auctions

Ruby, diamond, gold, and white gold earrings, Vishal Jewels, c. 2020 (at 1stdibs)

Sapphire and Diamond Ballerina Clip by Van Cleef & Arpels, Circa 1951

Source: jewelryconnoisseur.net

Rubellite and Gold Link Bracelet by Tiffany & Co.

Source: viva.co.nz

Trifari axe brooches designed by Alfred Philippe, 1941.

“Nero's bathtub, commissioned by the mad emperor during his reign between 54-68AD. The giant 25ft diameter bathtub is carved from a purple super rare rock called imperial porphyry. It was taken from Nero's palace shortly after his suicide and now sits in the Vatican museum”

The ornate shrine of the Stowe Missal. Dating from c 1030 AD (with 14th century additions), it once held a holy text. The shrine contains a number of inscriptions, one of which says ‘pray for the king of Ireland, Donnchad son of Brian (Boru) & Gormlaith’.