“Average Doctor Commits 10 Crimes A Year” Factoid Actually Just A Statistical Error. Average Doctor

On Friendship.

I love talking with neurotypical people about my executive dysfunction because I'm like "yeah there's this invisible wall in my head that I'm incapable of getting past no matter what I do and it stops me from doing things" and they're like what the actual fuck

Meanwhile other neurodivergents are like

Every episode of Supernatural they ask, "How will we defeat this new and unique monster?" and the answer is "shoot them with guns," mostly.

you are not a misfit! You are a needed part of the body of Christ!

hi so what qualities do you think dean admires about sam and vice versa would like to know your thoughts

Love your meta btw as a new spn fan

Hi Nonny, tysm for the ask!

I haven't thought a ton about this question prior to now, so I'm interested in other people's opinions too if they want to add them on reblog. But it seems to me that the 'what does Dean admire about Sam' half of the question is pretty easily answered, because Dean isn't shy with his praise of Sam in canon.

He's also not shy with his criticism, of course, and I think this is because some of the things he admires most about Sam are the same things that are dangerous to him personally. My favorite recap is in the finale:

And there's this from 15.11:

Dean says similar things in other episodes, going way back to 1.11, which the finale speech is practically a word for word recap of:

I think Dean legitimately believes all this; that Sam is better than him in practically every way-- smarter, more compassionate, more optimistic, possessed of a better moral compass (usually), more skilled in a variety of ways, etc. And especially that Sam is healthier than him; more of a complete, autonomous human being who would be fully able to live a "normal" life if circumstances were right, whereas he, Dean, would not be. By "you're stronger than me" (which he also tells Sam before he goes to Hell in s3) he means "capable of independence".

I have decidedly ambivalent feelings about the "Dean is Sam's Parent" reading of spn, but I do think this is a very parental type of admiration; both because of the 'I'm proud' piece and because 'I raised you to be able to outlive me' is maybe a parent's primary responsibility second only to unconditional love. And I think it's realistic and sympathetic that Dean admires these traits in Sam while simultaneously fighting tooth and nail to undermine Sam ever actually becoming fully independent as long as Dean's alive (and until the finale, even afterwards). "You're better than me; don't leave me" is honestly extremely relatable.

R.e. the 'what does Sam admire in Dean' part of the question, I think that's more complicated to explain, and I'm especially interested in what other fans think about this part. I think obviously if someone asked Sam what he admires in Dean, he'd be able to run off a list of traits. And he does sometimes mention traits he finds admirable in Dean, like in 8.14 where he says "You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius" and says Dean is a better hunter than either himself or their father.

But for the core of what I think Sam feels about Dean that's in the same, idk, synonym group ig, as 'admiration', I don't think 'admires' really covers it very well. It's almost more like worships. He thinks, quite simply, that Dean is good. And since he thinks that he, Sam, is fundamentally not good, he sees Dean as the final arbiter of, well, everything. Sam thinks Sam could never go on a quest like Galahad, but although it's never specifically mentioned, I think its pretty clear he believes Dean could.

I think Sam feels about Dean the way I think deeply religious people--not the kind that mouth platitudes but the kind that have really struggled with and thought long and hard about their faith--feel about God. He knows Dean makes mistakes, he knows Dean is deeply fucked up in many ways, he yells at and argues with Dean and goes behind Dean's back and lies to him and etc, all because he does truly understand that Dean's decisions are, on a practical level, sometimes honestly pretty messed up. But he also has an unshakable faith that where he, Sam, might make bad choices because he's bad, Dean will struggle but ultimately always eventually choose correctly, even if one of the steps along the way is chopping Sam's head off with Death's scythe. Because Dean is good. Sam fans (myself included) will look back on the panic room and think "wow Dean sure was living up to the family-is-hell premise on that one", but Sam will look back on it and think "he saved me".

sam: *very obviously struggles with bodily autonomy and feeling self control from numerous times where these things were violated*

dean: *tricks sam into saying yes to letting an angel (in which neither of them know at all) possess him, and then doesn’t tell sam about this until it’s too late*

sam: personally, same circumstances, i wouldn’t put you through something that i knew you would hate and that has basically traumatised you in the past just in order to keep you from dying when you were ready to go, just me though

fandom for some reason: can we talk about how disgusting sam is for saying he wants dean dead in a ditch and how he wants dean to feel selfish and miserable and depressed for eternity? he’s so ungrateful, dean saved his life, what an asshole

(meanwhile earlier in the show)

dean: *makes multiple gross comments about teenage girls*

fandom for some reason: fucking love this guy, he could no wrong. just a little puppy

a customer today looked at me, said “y’know? i think you’ll appreciate this,” and pulled his shirt down to show me his supernatural tattoo. calling me a slur would’ve been easier

1x01 // 1x09

I fell asleep last night thinking of a concept episode.

Basically it’s just an episode with Jack holding a camera and filming everyone’s daily routines, like a home video. He just follows them around and they’re just so confused what he’s doing and ignores it. He introduces them and is like “here are my dads :3 and here’s me!!!” and he turns the camera back to himself, smiling and then he turns the camera back around and they’re just all smiling at him. And then the episode continues with like minor conflicts like just fighting n stuff. But like the way families interact with each other.

This part is semi lame but like he would definitely capture like a weird destiel moment. Like they accidentally bumped into each other the way they do on romcoms or just a moment of them sitting awkwardly close in silence and Jack records from around a corner and he just giggles and they both just stare at him, and then the camera cuts.

Jack would also record their daily routines and narrate. “Cas is always the one up first because he doesn’t need to sleep. Sam wakes up early to do is runs.” He just holds the camera with Sam walking up the stairs and he pauses. “Jack, what are you doing?” He somewhat laughs but also is confused. “I’m making a video of our lives!”

GOD I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM

I smiled so big writing this. They are everything to me.