Like-luke-likes - Like-Luke-Likes

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I miss sleeping next to someone

the other day I was taking a walk when I saw this old guy trapped under a cart. people were trying to help him but it was too heavy so I stepped forward and lifted it off him (I work out a lot.) then, this old police inspector told me I had to be a convict because of how strong I was. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “it’s 1815. anyone can be strong, including non felons, women, and gay people. the only person who’s weak here is you.” he started crying and gave me fifty crowns while everyone clapped, even the nuns

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no offence but i am so tired of getting older i mean im still pretty young but im just tiredt of this long ass cycle that’s gonna go on for the rest of my life. like lemme pause it right quick

I got this guys.

“Do you think that guy is gay?”

“Roll a Perception check.”

This dog…caught a fish…using croutons.

Then walked off like Mufasa

The Hidden Oracle debuts at #1 on the New York Times bestseller list. Thanks, readers!