the parallels in this book make me insane but yk when Harold was talking w Liesl for the first time in sixteen years and discovered she had been doing the same thing he had, which was seeing Jacob’s essence in the faces of students or just passerbys in the street.
“Only to realize later that she had imagined they might be our son, alive and well and away from us, no longer ours, but walking freely through the world, unaware that we might have been searching for him all this time”
And then later on, after Jude’s death, Harold finds that in everything he sees, he sees him. He seeks his son’s face once again, finding comfort in the idea that he might be somewhere off in the world, walking free, without pain and without grief, but he is no longer his and Julia’s.
Was that the price that Harold and Julia paid to let Jude be freed? That he might be off somewhere else, no longer really Jude but something or someone else that does not carry the pain or grief that Jude carried with him? But in return, he would no longer be Harold and Julia’s? They would never be able to reach him again, but he is free now.
“And if a child can no longer be comforted, is it my job to give him permission to leave?”
tiktok ALL readers when the main character with deeply complex trauma gets triggered by things 😮😮😮
thank u @orpheuslament for showing this shit to us so i could feel smarter .
“Willem”, I ask you, “do you feel like I do? Do you think he was happy with me?” Because he deserved happiness. We aren’t guaranteed it, none of us are, but he deserved it.”
sam claflin u will ALWAYS be my willem
every time I remember Jude left Harold an eight pages letter, one part of me dies
yeah there’s no way
whenever i see a fairly attractive sad looking guy im like omg jude
okay seriously what music do we think jude liked/would like
i think like
the smiths
the cure (i feel like JB forced him into this one)
he’d LOVEEEEEE nirvana at uni i know it oh and the smashing pumpkins
ELLIOTT SMITH.
STOP I CAN IMAGINE HIM BEING A HUGE BOWIE FAN AND GOING AS BOWIE FOR HALLOWEEN
rip jude st francis you would’ve loved mitski
"The only person who sees Jude for exactly who he is, is Malcolm..." "..and Jude hates him for it, Jude resents him for it.." "..the interventions Malcolm makes in his home."
- Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life Play interview
"Willem's flaw is pretending....." "when you're having sex with someone, you can usually tell when they're not enjoying it.."
(indirect, Hanya's words, yet not in the interview ; "Harold's greatest flaw is not trying hard enough. He has compassion and love for those in his life, but he should have gone further."
"Andy, simply, is a bad doctor.")
thinking about how jude knew that two of his fellow students were on the spectrum so he researched their special interests so he’d be able to ask them questions they’d want to answer and make them more comfortable </3