Frosty Garden. Värmland, Sweden (October 5, 2019).

Teddy

I was there when you said your first word Your mother’s laughs of joy being painted into the walls Your father’s smile combing them with the scent of pride Your words ever floating, hanging in the air

I was there when you had your first kiss Your dream-induced eyes engaged with mine Your entranced lips telling me all about his Your hair a mess from running your hands through it for excitement

I was there when you had your first breakup When your eyes dripped of uncertain loss Your cheeks like early morning dew from your river of tears My fur a mess from crying into me, no more of a help than a punching bag

I was there when your parents told you what was going to happen How they still loved you, no matter what Your hands trembling on my soft arms Your indignant sobs of unbelief thrown at the door behind them

I was there when you had your first time The soft words of passion mixing with the powerful hands of lust Your uncertainty, your reluctancy, your anxiety His response when you refused

I was there when you cut yourself for the first time Your tears of self-malice ripping down the fabric of your cheek The first drops of siphoned blood falling on my body Your heaving cough from your third Or fourth Or fifth cigarette Of that day

I was there when you brought home the first customer Your dead Empty Expression writing believable lies filled with contempt and self-pity Entrancing him for the sake of money’s worth The monster that lay deep within I remember seeing for what wasn’t the first time

I was there when you brought home the pills Your hair a mess, your cheeks like glacial rivers, your hands trembling Your uncertainty, your rage, your decision

Your words ever floating, Hanging in the air

Collage of my various doodling styles

lina gordievsky

jason scottish

Please ignore the hot-air ballooning comma.

Stay

I scream when I see you, when I hear you When I smell you and I cannot feel you But nobody hears me, because it’s all inside Sometimes you can see the pain, from tide to tide Sometimes you let me in, and there, I salvage Something from the sin that takes away the rage Of the deep, black storm that plagues my life That sets on me a swarm of regret, guilt, strife I am in eternal wait for the few and far between Encounters of our fate that make my heart clean But ignore my scream for now, I can wait until a day When I can again vow to, for two more minutes, stay

Confession - Red