Ok This Is The Last One I Promise. I Just--

“Everyone saw in my face evil traits that I didn’t possess. But they assumed I did, and so they developed. I was modest, and was accused of being deceitful: I became secretive. I had a strong sense of good and evil; instead of kindness I received nothing but insults, so I grew resentful. I was gloomy, other children were merry and talkative. I felt myself superior to them, but was considered inferior: I became envious. I was ready to love the whole world, but no one understood me, so I learned to hate. My colorless youth was spent in a struggle with myself and with the world. Fearing mockery, I buried my best feelings at the bottom of my heart: there they died.”

— Mikhail Lermontov, A Hero of Our Time (trans. Vladimir Nabokov)

Legs.

1. Jeremy Stolle 2. Davis Gaines 3. Hugh Panaro 4. Ivan Ozhogin 5. Ben Lewis 6. Gary Mauer 7. Howard McGillin 8. Earl Carpenter 9. Mathais Edenborn

Me: *Has the thesaurus open in multiple tabs.*

Also me: *Opens another tab and types in "redundant synonym."*

*a few minutes later opens another tab and types "excessive synonym."*

*and another tab: "compulsive synonym."*

An Essay on ALW's Erik

One of the best insights I got into ALW's Phantom from some random Reddit user is to watch for whether the lead plays Erik from his own POV or from Christine's, especially in MOTN. (I also add a third option because several actors also play him from the perspective of the audience or a more omniscient narrator.)

These approaches result in entirely different, but no less accurate, interpretations of the character. For example, Earl Carpenter's performance from the first lair to the final lair is entrenched in the Phantom's perspective, from the total anxiety he projects in MOTN, to his more hesitant physical engagement with Christine, to his decision to kneel/silently beg Christine to stay with him during the ring return. And I love that there's variety within this perspective as well. Carpenter uses this POV to portray a very earnest and sympathetic (if unscocialized) Erik, but I'd argue that Anthony Warlow also falls within this category even though he leans into the darker aspects of the Phantom's psyche.

I have favorite Phantoms in both categories, but I admit that Christine's POV is actually what hooked me to this musical. I got deep into Phantom boots after losing my dad in my 20s and watching an engagement fall apart under the strain of grief. When Erik is viewed or portrayed (à la Hugh Panaro) through Christine's eyes, you can see the character undergo a pitchy transformation throughout the musical as Christine works through her own relationship to men while grieving and coming of age. Erik initially presents himself to her as a father figure, then as a full-on seducer in the first lair, and then as a total monster. The story is in part about Christine's journey toward reconciling these different ways of perceiving/relating to masculinity in the absence of what had been the only male figure in her life. And the musical approaches resolution when Christine realizes that Erik is neither her dad, her lover, or a total villain--he's just a man. And he's worthy of compassion, but she can also choose to leave him.

Anyway, I hate when people say that it's inaccurate for Erik to be "X" or "Y". Because especially through the lens of Christine's journey, Erik is all the things at one point or another (or even simultaneously). He is a daddy-coded immortal messenger and a genius and sex incarnate and unhinged and broken and, and, and...a literary figure shaped by the internal worlds of the author, the reader, and the viewer/listener. What's the point in trying to make objective claims about him? Resist binary thinking and make literary and media analysis great again.

Look, I'm very excited to see Jordan Donica in the Gilded Age, but all I know is THIS BETTER NOT INTERFERE WITH MY DARKEST DREAMS OF HIM PLAYING THE PHANTOM FOR THE NORTH AMERICAN TOUR. Listen to the voice. Look at the hands. Imagine the pants!! This man was made to play the Phantom. He is the second coming of Davis Gaines or Howard McGillan in the making.

Whoever is in charge...whoever I need to contact, petition, or pray to...MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

-Gregory Orr, “When Eurydice saw him” from Orpheus & Eurydice

Oh shit, I started a fanfic!

Welp, we've gone this far. Follow me on AO3 and tune in to a POTO retelling lol.

“I am your Angel of Music. Come to me, Angel of Music.”

It’s Monday and I’m still thinking about that Cudia boot.

What I love about theatre is that no matter how many times you’ve seen a show or even a particular actor’s performances, there’s always room for surprise. I always liked John Cudia, but that boot was distinct from all his other performances. He just walked into work that day and said “I feel like being more feral than usual.”