Littlecigs - Out Of Body

I feel like people don't talk enough about how utterly mentally exhausting it is to be genuinely obsessive about somebody

like yes it is nice to have somebody I love so much be a constant thought in my head but it makes actually trying to do real life things so difficult because I'm so caught up in the obsession and the daydreaming

why is it that every good thing is immediately followed by a bad one. why can't I be happy. why can't I be ok

::::)))))))

"But why do you let your disability stop you?" Because that's.... what disabilities... do. That's... literally the basic definition... of being disabled... A disability impairs your ability to function. That's what the term means. That's the main thing

wow I should really go 2 bed omg

I crave the sensation of another being next to me

Loving me, wanting me, breathing me

Why can't I have that?

We feed like crows

The way we pick and pull at the scraps that life has dealt us

Anxious and demanding and fighting for whatever there is to spare

While the foxes hunt and overpower

They take and take and take

And we are left to clean up whatever they left behind

I don't think I've ever met someone who feels the kind of bone deep soulless depression I've felt for most of my life. I'm not saying they don't exist, I'm just saying part of me wishes there were someone I could talk to who actually understands how I'm feeling.

But that's selfish of me, right?

I wouldn't wish this on anyone

I think I might start posting again. Probably just thoughts, not poems. Idk