They Should Invent A Desire To Be Wanted That Doesn't Feel Grotesque And Perverse

the problem with making my entire personality be for my friends is that once they're gone i'm nothing.

Having bpd really is like playing life on the hardest difficulty it has to offer. When you're upset, it's like grief. When you're mad, it's like fighting back the rage of a warrior. When you're numb, it's absolutely debilitatingly so, and when you're dissociated, it's like nothing on this planet, including yourself, exists or is even real anymore. It's a constant battle of fighting against your own body's extremely out of control instincts. It's not supposed to be this hard to simply interact with other human beings and yourself, is it?

High off the way you speak

Submerging me

Can't think, think, think

It's only you

Need to get high af right now please and thank you

I think I might start posting again. Probably just thoughts, not poems. Idk

We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (Jane Schoenbrun, 2021)

every time i make a mistake im like theyre going to put me down like a sick dog