Littlecigs - Out Of Body

: )

-happyface

unfortunately i have whatever the opposite of charisma is

perpetual fuck up

I hate the days where everyone and everything makes me mad or annoyed because I don't wanna be that angry person but I literally can't fucking control it then I take it out on the people I care about and they don't deserve that

"Mental health matters!" But the second I show a symptoms I'm a terrible person.

I have GOT to get more NORMAL

Why don't other people find life as hard as I do? I think about death everyday. I'm so overwhelmed. Everything is sooo hard. I don't know if I really want to die or if I just can't live. I want someone or something to strip me of all my responsibilities, all the pressure. If that is death then so be it.

poetry (in English)

lavender and blue

don’t you know

my body is frail

and I’m all alone

red and green

they stain my skin

I love you

and I love them

i h8 being suspicious about things but damn that gut feeling really is always right

And I missed out on so much of my life because I was living in a constant state of anxiety. And if it wasn't anxiety then it was depression. And if it wasn't depression then it was mania. And I literally can't remember being a child. I can't remember being a person. My whole life looks like this inescapable grey haze and I'm stuck in it. Buried in it. I don't want to fall asleep crying anymore. I don't want nightmare after nightmare. I want to feel safe and comfortable and happy and I am literally incapable of it. And that is so fucking terrifying.