Rick But Instead Of Two Crows Its Two Doves And He’s A Lana Del Rey Girlie, Chain Smoking Cigarettes

tw: death, angst, alcoholism, sad. this is just sad im sorry

“I’m sorry, son,” Neil says, his voice softer and kinder than Billy’s ever heard.

He’s numb. He can’t actually believe it. Nothing feels real. Billy can’t be sure he’s actually sitting on the couch, can’t be sure Susan’s hiding in the kitchen, can’t be sure Max is locked away in her room. Can’t fathom that he’s 2,000 miles away from home.

“Her funeral is next Saturday. We can try to make it,” Neil continues, “But if we can’t, your aunt said she would send you some of her ashes.”

Billy’s frozen. The last time he ever saw her replaying in his mind.

Rosemary stood at the door, a suitcase packed by her feet and six year old Billy was curious why she hadn’t packed him one.

“I promise,” she ran her fingers through his hair, “I’ll come get you. I have to leave now but I’ll be back in two days and you can come live with me and Auntie Diane.”

He was sobbing, angry and seething.

“No, Momma,” he blubbered, “Don’t go!”

Rosemary heaved a big sigh. It was now or never. She had to time this right or Neil would catch her leaving.

“Baby,” she cooed, squeezing Billy close to her, “I’m coming back for you. Two days. You can wait for me.”

She kissed his cheeks, five to each one when Billy notices his mom is crying too. He clings onto her shirt so tightly, she has to forcefully pull his fingers away. She squeezes his little fists in her own, eyes trained on his wet, blue ones.

“Two days, baby.”

Rosemary opens the door, runs to Auntie Diane’s car and Billy runs out after her. He’s screaming for her to stop but she doesn’t. Auntie Diane drives away with Rosemary hanging out the window, “Two days!”

Neil finds him on the lawn not ten minutes later, crying hysterically. He picks up his son, carries him inside and sets him on the couch. Neil’s like a tornado afterwards, storming to the master bedroom and between his sobs, Billy can hear drawers slamming. Then Neil’s angry voice.

“That cunt!” he growls, “That worthless fucking whore.”

Billy curls up in a ball on the living room carpet, hiccuping while he stares at a bloody stain on the floor. He remembers how it was made, his mom flinging a plate at his dad. Remembers how it sliced Neil’s hand open when he tried to dodge it. Remembers how he tried to help his mom scrub it the next day, how it wouldn’t lighten and with time, turned into a deep reddish brown. Billy scratches at his arms as he cries, furniture crashing in the master bedroom.

Two days came and went, without Rosemary returning. Summer break. Neil took the week of work to watch Billy. He kept looking out the windows, his face twisted in anger. Billy called his Auntie Diane’s number ten times a day. No answer.

It’s a week later when he finally gets an answer. He’s hiding in the kitchen cabinet. Cries to his momma. Tells her he misses her. She says she’s coming to get him soon.

She never came back. Billy never knew why. Why she couldn’t take him.

“How?” his voice is shaky, unsure of itself. Sounds far away in his ears.

“She had cancer. Liver,” Neil’s voice is gruff again. He thinks about the bottles of vodka she used to hide around the house. Billy’s chest feels like it’s splitting open. He has to get out of this house, as soon as possible.

He stands, pushes passed Neil and for the first time in eleven years, Neil lets him leave without a single question. Billy finds himself at a liquor store, his fingers shake as he grabs the plastic bottle. His eyes scan over the the red accented label. The same label he used to find in the toilet tank when he was a kid.

The quarry is the best place to drink alone. He sits on the dirt in front of his car, cracks open the bottle of Popov and lifts it to the sky.

“To you, momma,” he chokes out.

Billy swallows back the fiery liquid, understands why she loved it so much while it burns down his throat and spreads a comfortable heat in his chest.

“I hated you,” he hopes she can hear him, hopes that somehow she can watch over him. He talked to her a lot, in his head, out loud when he was alone. Now he has a weird sense of comfort, like she’s here now. “For a long time. I never understood why you couldn’t just take me with you. I would’ve rather took care of you than deal with him.”

He chokes out a sob, furiously rubbing his fists against his eyeballs.

“God,” he laughs through the tears, a maniacal laugh, “You fucking bitch! What a fucking joke.”

Another swig of the cheapest vodka known to man. Billy wants to get so drunk, so shitfaced and wrap his Camaro around a tree. Wants to be reunited with his mom. Life’s a sick fucking joke. He’s freshly eighteen. His mom should be alive, should be around. It’s not fucking fair.

“Did you ever try?” he asks, “Did you ever want me? I remember that story you used to tell me, about when I was born. About how I opened my eyes and looked up at you and you said you finally felt whole.”

Billy sobs again, “Did you feel empty when you left? Did you hate yourself for not taking me?”

The clouds move slowly as he gazes up, tries not to think about how possibly he’s just talking to himself and she can’t actually hear him. That she’s just gone and there’s nothing and that’s it. You die and you’re dead and gone, just memories. Billy suddenly clutches at his necklace, brings it to his lips and kisses it.

“I love you,” he blubbers out, “Fuck, I love you.”

“Remember when you would take me surfing?” he hiccups, “Dad made me stop. Haven’t done it since the last time you took me.”

He’s silent for a while, hot tears streaming down his cheeks. It’s all so fucking surreal. He always wondered if it’d be easier if she was dead. But he’s never felt so god damn hopeless in his life.

He lifts the bottle of Popov again, laughing again.

“Got your favorite,” he sniffles, “I get it, a little bit. Why you ran off, why you drank so much. He would’ve killed you. I think I remind him of you. I think that’s why he fucking hates me so much. A reminder of what he lost.”

Billy sighs, takes another plentiful swig and sinks down on his back.

“Wonder why he doesn’t just kill me,” he mumbles, “Maybe he thinks he can just push me to do it my fucking self.”

He’s silent again, can hear the frogs and crickets. The air is cool, brings chills to his spine but that’s something Popov can solve. He tries to take another swig lying down but chokes on it, coughs up the harsh alcohol and sits up to catch his breath. Thinks about if he gets pulled over on the way home, how he’ll reek of vodka. Like his mom used to.

“I’ve thought about it, ya know. After you left, kinda thought it every day,” he rubs his nose with his palm, smearing snot over his skin. “It’s too easy. I don’t know. Maybe I’m fucking stupid, but maybe I can do something with my life. Don’t know what I’m good at, but there’s gotta be something, right? Maybe pottery, like you did. I never tried.”

Another swig of the cheap booze, he’s feeling it. Billy’s drunk. Gets why his mom was so dependent on it. A short term solution for life long pain.

“I think he loved you,” he speaks again, “Susan is a lot like you. She’s got a really fucking annoying kid and she’s not as perfect as you, but he seemed happier. He buys her things a lot.”

He laughs, “Get this. He bought her diamond earrings for Christmas. Got Max a stereo for his room. Guess what he got me? A fucking copy of Penthouse.”

Billy snorts then, “I’m gay, mom. I think he knows it too, that’s why he got me a fucking skin mag.”

When the realization hits that he’s just to come out to his dead mom, Billy breaks out into a fit of laughter. He’s giddy. He’s never told a soul, funny that the one he’s told isn’t on this plane of existence. He slaps his knee, body curling up with the laughs.

“I’m fucking gay!” he screams out into the empty quarry, falling into his back while his giggling subsides and shifts to violent sobs.

He hears the voice before he sees the dark figure standing in front of him.

“Are you okay?”

Steve fucking Harrington. His ill fitting jeans, polo and Member’s Only jacket. Billy’s eyes meet his and then he’s a barrel of laughs again. What are the odds that as he’s coming out to his deceased mom, the boy that’s made these feelings more of a reality comes walking up. God’s a funny son of a bitch if he exists.

It’s the alcohol that fuels Billy’s next move.

Another big, belly laugh, “Am I okay? My fucking mom’s dead!”

Steve’s face falls, “Oh… god, I’m so sorry.”

Billy smiles, cheekily up at the brunette. Remembers smashing a plate over his head. Like mother like son. Billy laughs again, unscrewing the red cap from the plastic bottle.

“Never felt closer to her,” Billy insists, raising the bottle before knocking back another gulp. “The hell are you doing out here, amigo?”

Steve sighs, “Come here to clear my head. You sure you’re okay?”

Billy shoves the bottle towards Steve, “Have some! For my sweet, beautiful mother. She was a fiend for this stuff.”

The brunette sits next to him, takes the bottle and knocks back a swig. His handsome face cringes with it. He hands it back and tilts his head as he looks at Billy.

“I’m really sorry. That sucks.”

Billy giggles, “Haven’t seen her since I was six! Her funeral is next Saturday. Wonder if I should skip it. She didn’t show up when she said she would.” He sighs, looks up at the sky, “Two days, right?”

Steve is silent, lets Billy get out whatever he needs to. Pats his knee reassuringly.

“I fucking miss her, man,” Billy admits, “I… fuck!”

He grabs onto his pack of smokes, pulls one out and lights it, his fingers trembling.

“Yeah… life’s… weird like that, it has to throw everything at you at once,” Steve sighs, “See if you got what it takes.”

“I don’t think I do,” Billy admits, shoving the box of Marlboros against Steve’s chest.

Steve frowns, accepts the cigarette and hands the box back to Billy, “You seem tough enough to handle it.”

Billy breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably and ducking his head between his knees. Steve doesn’t know what to do. This guy beat him blue and bloody a couple months ago. Now he’s crying so hard Steve thinks he might puke. His arms circle around Billy before he can really think about it, clutching onto him. The blonde doesn’t return the embrace, Steve awkwardly rests his cheek on Billy’s shoulder and rubs soothing circles against his back. But after a while, Billy drops his cigarette, turns his body and shoves his face in Steve’s neck while he wraps his arms around his middle. The sobs only seem to get harder the tighter they hug.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Steve mumbles because he doesn’t know what else to say.

Billy’s getting snot and spit all over Steve’s neck but it seems like the guy really needed a hug so Steve just holds him closer.

Water lilies and a Siren

(Tbh I don’t really like this one but I guess I’ll post it.)

Piglin brute simps everywhere

I look left, they be simpin’

I look right, they also be simpin’

But have you considered female piglin brutes.....? Like big strong ladies with axes and severe blood lust? :)

..........i might simp too.................

ACTUALLY I HAVE MORE TO SAY on that Planetina episode. (Warnings for Rick Sympathizers, I go hard against him in this, even if I love him)

I noticed people were saying that they felt like the writers were more lenient on Planetina because she was a woman, but I don't actually believe that was the case.

The episode is extremely creepy but the thing is, we are seeing it from Morty's perspective. We have spent most of the series seeing stuff from Rick's perspective. This episode was uniquely NOT from Rick's perspective in either plot. It was Morty's or it was Summer's.

Planetina's creepy relationship with Morty was absolutely meant to parallel Rick and Morty's creepy relationship. The episode literally starts with Morty rejecting Rick to be with Planetina-- and not only rejecting Rick, but casting off "immaturity" in order to be with someone he idolizes but also wants to be mature for.

Yes it was mentioned that in the Toxic episode, Morty was with two older women, but you need to think about what that says about Morty at this point. His ideal Healthy was someone who was seen as mature, who wanted to be looked up to, who had confidence. Morty thinks that being a scared kid is toxic and that his ideal healthiness will be a man who has confidence and is mature and will have a mature woman with him. He's literally a middle school boy, this is not abnormal for middle schoolers, and it definitely gets worse when their needs aren't met.

Morty spends the entirety of the Planetina episode falling for this woman he admires, idolizes and thinks it's love, and Planetina takes advantage of that, both by having aspects of the "born sexy yesterday" trope but also because she's really kind to Morty and always says yes to him-- but let's examine that trope for a second here. In this case, Planetina is an adult woman who behaves in a childish manner that is appealing to Morty and makes her seem cute and he wants to do anything for her.

Hm. Rick is literally an adult who behaves in a childish manner that allows him to get on well with teenagers and kids but not so much fellow adults. Rick can also make Morty do almost anything for him, except he's not kind. His kindness is conditional.

TO MY BAD FAITH READERS: STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM

I'm not saying here that anyone who is an adult that behaves childishly is automatically a predator. Rick and Planetina both are predatory towards Morty because they engage with him in highly inappropriate ways because he is a minor and they are adults. Boundaries are broken and reassured it's okay, there's a lot of "don't tell your parents about this" sometimes in actions and not words but Rick has LITERALLY said that out loud-- It's how you treat others that can make you predatory, and Planetina literally keeps encouraging this out of Morty, too.

In reality this episode is kind of an extension of the Toxic episode, because it shows that side of Morty that craves maturity because he can't connect to ANYONE around him, but also he wants so badly to be wanted, to be accepted, to be told he's good and perfect just the way he is. He wants to be loved so badly. So of course he latches onto the first woman who seems to be saying all those things to him because he HASN'T been taught how to avoid these creeps. And then when Beth finally starts stepping up as a mother for Morty, of course he sees this as betrayal-- because in his experience, his family has NEVER had his back. And the entire time, Jerry is playing a childish game where a little guy throws up everywhere LMAO Like, the writing and direction of this episode is so on point, it's Morty going "everyone around me is immature and they do not understand me and they don't want me to be happy" and Planetina takes advantage of that.

It really does not matter if she was genuine or not-- Morty is 14 and she is an adult who is going for the affections of a little boy HJSDFK LIKE. IF YOU FELT CREEPED OUT BY IT, IT'S BECAUSE IT'S CREEPY and it NEVER SHIED AWAY FROM IT. It just feels extra bad because we're getting it from Morty's perspective.

Morty finally puts his foot down when Planetina turns to outright murder--and she even tries to turn it around "You murdered my kids" EVEN THOUGH SHE BASICALLY TOLD HIM TO? She didn't use the words directly but she did tell Morty, KNOWING he was desperate for validation and love, that she was going to be taken away... Morty goes all out, arming himself to prevent that. As badass as this scene was, this entire episode really shows how middle schoolers (esp boys) are able to be groomed and radicalized by dangerous people they admire.

The original post said that the writers are lenient on women groomers but wouldn't act this way if it were men-- Morty likes girls, idk what to tell you. But also the EPISODE was from Morty's perspective. the Mr Jelly Bean episode was not-- it was horrifying but we were still generally from Rick's perspective. And as great as it was to see Rick kill that guy for trying to sexually assault Morty, Rick has not stepped up in a single way SINCE to help teach Morty how to protect himself, to safeguard himself from predators, etc. In fact, all he really aimed to do was make Morty more dependent on him.

I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS BUT I HAVE NO ISSUE SAYIN THIS SHIT CAUSE IT'S TRUE I'm glad Rick is trying NOW but the boundaries between them have long since eroded. Morty is used to being treated like this, and Rick is used to being able to get away with it.

That's why Evil Morty's finale was so poignant-- "I'm not evil, I'm just sick of him" Literally every single time Morty has pushed away from Rick, we get this perspective that Morty is bad and is being mean to Rick. HECK NO-- Morty is showing agency and trying to protect himself.

This episode is no different, he literally DOES break up with Planetina, and she (despite causing all of these situations and having the power in the relationship) blames Morty and acts like he did this to hurt her and leaves. And Morty wails openly into his mom's embrace, because Beth is there to comfort her son who is BROKEN over it.

And then these parallels are LITERALLY MET in the pre-finale episode where Rick is like I DONT NEED YOU MORTY I CAN REPLACE YOU WITH TWO CROWS--

The Planetina episode is MEANT to be watched with the finale episodes.

I don't think it's fair to blame the writers for something that they were really REALLY smart about writing in these episodes. To say that the writers didn't make it blatant is... frankly untrue... This show does not work as well when they have to look at the camera and go "THING BAD" because the entire show has had Rick grooming Morty into becoming exactly like him and that ends up being more acceptable to a lot of people because a lot of people are biased towards Rick.

And I understand the pull! I love Rick Sanchez! He's very relatable! But he's also quite literally a "do not be me" type of warning character LMAO He's a cautionary tale, at all times.

This show is entertainment first, it's not meant to be watched as education, its primary focus is to tell stories. If you learn something from it, GREAT! But the most bad faith interpretations because you're uncomfortable about how something is shown isn't actually conducive to anyone's learning.

Next time you feel uncomfortable while watching Rick and Morty, ask yourself why, and be prepared that those feelings of discomfort MAY BE MIRRORED IN ASPECTS OF RICK AND HIS GRANDSON'S PORTRAYAL. This is how I learned to stop believing anything Rick had to say about Jerry, because it's usually projection.

Shigaraki, ‘cause why not

Ay, decided to dig out some older OC’s I had laying around and draw them again.

Omg is this based on the drugs that dangerous creatures have to take before traveling with public transportation in the episode "The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy" to be ideal passengers?

Just imagining Rick and Prime coexisting while all their usual violent behaviour and urges are dampened is an amazing thought. This is such a sweet example of it, I love this prompt and your execution of it :D

It’s almost like having 2 Doofus Ricks! Ahh the sweetness, the fluff, the protectiveness. I’d give anything to see those two just pull childish non-destructive shit while so utterly high out of their minds on the dampener drugs.

Imagine them trying to put together a puzzle and just devolving into play-fighting much to the amusement of fellow passengers. The sight of seeing two interdimensional terrorists/criminals acting like toddlers!

“No- No that one is smooth on one- one side, it goes there!” Rick whined while reaching for the piece in Primes hand.

“No! It obviously fits right here!” Prime assured with confidence, placing the puzzle piece into a spot which it doesn’t fit into.

Rick shook his head, growing frustrated “See, it doesn’t fit, it’s a side piece.” 

“Oh, I knew that, I was just- just messing with you.” Prime tries, embarassment painting the tips of his ears pink.

“You didn’t!” Rick immedietly pointed out, now glaring at Prime.

“I did!” Prime fired back with a smirk tugging at his lips.

“You’re lying.” 

“Nope.” 

“Stop it, you- you obviously didn’t know.”

Prime laughed “You’re just mad because you can’t take a joke.”

...

I'd kill for full story with this idea!! I’d write it myself but I don’t have the time ;-;

"takes one to know one" these two squabble like 1st graders; prickcest prompt??

I went off message with this one but i can live with that lol. Rick and Prime cruise ship drabble :)

(thank you for the prompt anon <3)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Welcome aboard, gentlemen. Have a pleasant flight."

"Ugh, youre- you're pleasant, sir" Prime grumbled, bumping into Rick's shoulder as they shuffled into their seats.

Rick looked at him with unfocussed eyes, the synaptic dampener having taken its toll on both of them.

"He is pleasant." he mumbled, frowning hard.

Prime giggled, his head weaving back and forth, following Ricks eye-line, "Takes- takes one to know one. M-maybe you're pleasant too."

"I'm not pleasant!" Rick mewled, "I'm a terrorick, I'm the terrorickest of- of all of us."

Prime gasped, then shrunk down in his seat, and Rick copied him, "Shhh!" he chided.

"Uh oh, am I gonna- gonna get thrown away?" Rick whispered loudly.

"No," Prime reassured him, grabbing Ricks hand with both of his, "I won't let them. I'll look after you."

Rick nodded, letting his head fall on Primes shoulder.

"Good."

Jackie~

Tried some different methods/brushes here.

I want billy meeting King Steve but not being impressed because he’s just another yuppie douchebag, he’s not a badass, he’s not hard. And he tells steve as much, which really posses steve off because it’s true but no one’s ever said it to him before. So now he’s making it his personal mission to show billy what an asshole he can be, that he’s not a bitch. Has a little incentive when billy tells him he’ll think about taking a seat on the throne if Steve proves himself worthy of being called king

And then it’s just billy making steve worse. Committing actual crimes, doing drugs harder than weed, shows him how to hotwire a car, start taunting the cops instead of sweet talking them or throwing Steve’s name around like he’s used to to get out of shit. Become an actual menace

And Nancy and his friends are getting concerned. All “we don’t recognize you anymore steve” and Steve could not give two shits. Not when he’s been having the time of his life, not when he’s still got the mental imagine of billy bouncing on his dick the night before. He’s good with his new persona. Loves it, really

hey siri play I’m not in love 10cc / for @enigma-in-reality