RD Possession AU Intern (Aka Mal Prachett’s Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day)

RD Possession AU Intern (Aka Mal Prachett’s terrible horrible no good very bad day)

RD Possession AU Intern (Aka Mal Prachett’s Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day)

Mini Fic under the cut

It had been a couple days since the beginning of the possession epidemic. Having lost Ada yesterday, Ian had come to accept his lot in life as the final girl. The Intern had been working seemingly without sleep for days to help those afflicted with little progress. Their robotic proxy made them much more resistant to attacks than Ian, thus making them the perfect scout while Ian toiled away in the lab trying to figure just what the hell had befallen Middlesea Hospital. A knock at the door told him they were back. That, or one of the possessed was trying to trick him again. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ada do a cartwheel towards the lab entrance. Apparently she could do cartwheels? Cool? He cleared his throat, attention still glued to his laptop screen. “Can you please make sure your not letting someone like Lucky in?”

“You mean Unlucky?”

“That seems like kind of a mean nickname for your tastes, Ada.”

“His face and arm and brain are broken. Pretty darn unlucky if you ask me!”

“I guess. If it is him can you at least try not to piss him off even more?”

“No promises!” Ada winked and gave her purple clown nose a little honk. At least her reality-defying slapstick powers made her a surprisingly competent guard dog. “Who’s there?~” In response, she got a series of short and long beeps. Morse code. Thankfully, Ian knew it well enough to decipher on the fly. Normally Ada wasn’t fluent at all, but the cartoon logic she was now ruled by dictated that she understood them just fine.

<Intern.>

“Intern who?”

<Query: Is there another intern at this facility?>

“Um um- Ian can you think of a pun? Well’s run dry here!” Ian had joined Ada by the door now. Something about the way the Intern was talking caused a pit of dread to form in his gut. Please God please not them too. He braced himself as the heavy metal door slid back. He was immediately flashbanged by the Intern’s entire screen being lit up in bright purple. With a small yelp he slammed the door right back shut.

“NO NO NO! ADA! How am I supposed to do this alone?!”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Ada gave her nose another honk as Ian practically melted onto the floor. It was all over. They were all screwed. Smile wavering faintly, Ada sat next to him. No sincere words would come to her, so she instead laid a hand on his shoulder. It was fun to be possessed, sure, but she didn’t need fun right now. She needed to help Ian. It was just so hard not to get distracted. Even now energy coursed through her. She wanted to get up and run laps around the building and bounce off the walls. It took every ounce of the little restraint she had left just to keep her mouth shut. After a few moments of self-imposed torture another knock came to spare her mercy. She popped right back up like a jack-in-the-box and cupped her hands together giddily. “Who is it?~”

<It is still the intern.>

“It is still the intern wh-“

“Go away.” Ian’s face was buried in his arms. His voice was muffled, hoarse, and maybe a tad bitter.

<I have succumbed to possession.> There was a pause for a response, but none was given. Soon enough, they continued. <I am unable to access my emotions. I have been reduced to pure logic. My running theory is that the entity responsible for this epidemic enjoys ironic twists of fate, as most patients assume me to be a robot upon first contact.> Ian had covered his ears by now. Ada, however, seemed to have debated whether they passed some unknown vibe check. <My alliances and goals remain intact. I can still provide aid.> With that, the door opened once more. Ada waved, her hand on the button.

“Be on your best behavior, Sparky. I’d hate to look like a clown for letting you in.” She snickered, then moved to give the Intern a lookover. Ian cowered, half-heartedly accepting his incoming tragic fate. He’d really thought they’d be immune. Did the possession really get them through internet connection? This thing could take over the entire world if it wanted. His spiral was cut off by a gentle pat on the head. He flinched as Ada and the Intern loomed over him. “My friend here could use a hand, or a leg I guess.” Against his better judgment, Ian’s eyes made their way down the Intern’s metal torso. Although their posture was perfectly rigid, at about where the knee would be, their left teg had been completely torn off. Wires hung loose and oil dripped slowly from the jagged wound. Next, his eyes jumped to the Intern’s extending arm. Their hand gripped the broken leg tightly. Oil covered their silicone fingers. It was almost grizzly to look at.

“Oh-Oh my God. What happened?”

<Mrs. Stevenson’s denchers are of exceptional quality. My aluminum chassis were of no match.>

“Jeez- ok- I can help. You promise not to turn on me?”

<I am currently unable to lie. My alliances and goals remain intact. I can still provide aid.>

“That’s good, maybe. I don’t know. Get on the table. That has to hurt.

<I cannot feel pain.>

“I mean, yeah, but…” Ian trailed off. The screen was still glowing purple. The Intern’s camera feed hadn’t been playing at all. He had no idea what this all looked like on their side. “Can you… turn off the rhythm doctor program? Maybe you can get some rest while I fix up your proxy.”

<Negative. I am trapped.>

“What do you- Intern are you in the robot? Did the possession do this to you?!”

<Negative. It did not.>

“Intern, what does that mean?”

<Low power.>

“Intern?! What do you mean by trapped?!”

<Entering sleep mode.>

“Intern!” The robotic body siezed and stiffened. The screen slowly flashed the black outline of a low battery symbol. Mouth agape, Ian looked to Ada, then back at the body. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t help but speak up.

“Hmm. Do they take double As?” In response, Ian slammed his head on the metal table. He really shouldn’t have gone to med school.

More Posts from Lolatulips and Others

2 years ago

@pokeblog123 ÙwÚ

Reblog to give your nonbinary friend a sword

3 years ago
MIRROR GLAZE GALAXY CAKE
MIRROR GLAZE GALAXY CAKE
MIRROR GLAZE GALAXY CAKE
MIRROR GLAZE GALAXY CAKE
MIRROR GLAZE GALAXY CAKE
MIRROR GLAZE GALAXY CAKE

MIRROR GLAZE GALAXY CAKE

2 years ago

Attention anyone who needs hairstyle references

I want to introduce all of you to this amazing place called the ukhairdressers style gallery.

It’s basically a massive database full of high-quality images of different hairstyles. I mean, look at all the options in that sidebar (and part of it’s cut off):

image

In total they have 976 pages of hairstyles with about 17 styles each, that’s about 16592 hairstyles to look at. 

Look at all the stuff they’ve got! Long hair:

image

Short hair:

image

Straight hair:

image

Curly hair:

image

Afro hair:

image

Men’s hair:

image

Hair on older models:

image

Extra-fancy hair:

image

Even crazy avant-garde hair:

image

So if you need help with designing a character or you just want to practice drawing hair, this is a fantastic resource.


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3 years ago

Oh my god I adore it yes


Tags
2 years ago

The Death of the 3DS (and Wii U)

Last year, Nintendo removed the ability to make purchases on the 3DS/Wii U eShops. This month, on March 27th of 2023, is the end. You will be able to redownload previously purchased content "for the foreseeable future", though.

To be crystal clear: if you ever wanted a digital version of a 3DS/Wii U game or it's DLC, you have less than a month to obtain it legally. That's it.

So, what do you need to do? Simple. You need to download the following free software to future proof your 3DS:

1: PokeTransporter If you literally ever want to play pokemon games older than the 3DS and move those pokemon forward, you NEED this app to transfer from DS to 3DS.

2: PokeBank This software transfers pokemon from 3DS to Switch, and is going to be free after the eShop closes. It currently has a $5 subscription fee, but again, this will be removed after March 27th. If you want to transfer any 3DS pokemon to Switch, you NEED this app.

3: Pokemon Picross The save data for this software is used to hack the 3DS. Even if you don't want to hack your 3DS, you may someday want to play a 3DS game that is digital only, like Fire Emblem Fates: Revelation. This is the current software used to hack your 3DS using the excellent 3DS hacking guide.

On a related note, my guide on what to do with a hacked 3DS is available here, and my Wii U guide is here.

It is impossible to brick your 3DS or Wii U with modern hacking solutions, but you should still follow the instructions closely to make sure you don't scare yourself.

Once again, either you download Pokemon Picross or you are committing to never playing any digital 3DS game you don't already have.

If you have questions, my inbox is always open. Nintendo may have given up on these consoles, but we never will. Rock on, tumblr.

3 years ago

In re: Apple Frakking Tumblr Over

OKAY So ever since the Tumblr announcement over Apple's TOS for the app staying on the AppStore, I've been seeing so many posts spreading so much information AND misinformation.

If you haven't seen the post, click here, but basically it boils down to Apple's TOS for what Apps can and can't exist on the AppStore are pretty damn draconian. Famously Discord had to disallow ios app users from entering Not Safe For Work/Mature servers. Discord also put in a work-around to this but I'll get to that. Anyway, those TOS Apple's put in place are now affecting tumblr.

Misinfo #1: Tumblr is deliberately making the app experience unusable - False

Tumblr is doing what Apple is telling them to do. Apple is the one making the iOS version of the app unusable. Not tumblr. Although their enforcement of Apple's wants is rather obnoxious this isn't tumblr's fault. It's Apple's. Direct your ire to Apple, not tumblr, because this is directly their doing.

Misinfo #2: Tags have been ganked. - Well yes, but actually no.

It's true tags are borped on the iOs app BUT!!! "Banned tags" work just fine in the web version of tumblr, or the Android app. All the tags I've seen in the "banned tags" lists going around work just fine on my phone (I have android) or on my laptop. THE TAGS ALSO WORK FINE ON THE BROWSER ON MY IPAD. That's right, easy way to get around iOS shennangannery? Use the Tumblr website. It looks (and runs) just like the app. There are even other features on the website that aren't on the app. So if you're an iOS user frustrated by how the tumblr app now works, log in on Safari, Chrome, Firefox, Microsoft Edge, Opera, literally any internet web browser, and boom bam. Your original tumblr experience is back. Original bugs and all. Screenshot below of my android phone, and the tumblr website being able to access "banned tags." Also a screenshot of the post from the wip tumblr saying that experiences on Android and the website will not be affected.

In Re: Apple Frakking Tumblr Over
In Re: Apple Frakking Tumblr Over
In Re: Apple Frakking Tumblr Over

Misinfo #3: Tumblr's doing nothing to combat the ultra-censorship on their iOS app - Maybe

In their post, staff said they're working on a work-around. They left details pretty vague, as is staff's wont, but they aren't exactly out of options. This is where I get back to what Discord did when Apple did the same thing to them. Essentially you would have to go onto Discord on your laptop and allow access to not safe for work servers on iOS. It's a setting only found in the laptop/desktop version of discord. (see screenshot for proof) I believe Tumblr is probably working on something similar. To allow users to have the original experience by going through the website. For now you still have the browsers on your phone. Also screenshotted, where staff said in their post they're working on a workaround.

In Re: Apple Frakking Tumblr Over
In Re: Apple Frakking Tumblr Over

All this to say, you guys need to stop freaking out. Yes, tumblr is broken, tumblr's been broken for a hot minute, but you know what? This latest censorship dirge is not tumblr's fault. It's apples. And there are workarounds, pretty piss easy workarounds like using your browser instead of your app. It's not even that much more difficult. I know this is frustrating, but being reactionary and spreading misinformation isn't going to do anything but harm people who are looking for solutions.

1 year ago

Warning! Heavy Eyestrain! I suggest dimming the brightness of your screen for this one if you need to folks!

Warning! Heavy Eyestrain! I Suggest Dimming The Brightness Of Your Screen For This One If You Need To

GIRL HELL 1999

Made a little Marie having a wee bit of a Connectifia atttack after having tried beyond all merit to treat herself and ignore the pain she was enduring. She'll be fine, but things are very currently and very clearly out of her control at the moment. She can't reset her way outta this one and she is panicking, screaming, sobbing. Somebody help her!


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4 years ago
Of Grandiose And Valor, Here Are Our Boys!
Of Grandiose And Valor, Here Are Our Boys!

Of grandiose and valor, here are our boys!

It might've taken me a biiiit too long to make these references, but I'm incredibly proud at how they turned out. Shout out to @pokeblog123 for the idea of Allen's sweater having horns and devil's wings, it works so well!

It's fairly easy to see a real difference between them and I couldn't be happier that I managed to capture their mannerisms and little quirks in these refs. Joshua needs some goddamn sleep and Allen...

Allen just needs some hang time with his bro, that solves everything!

Gah, I love my boys so much! Here's to hoping we can get them a good ending, right?


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lolatulips - Lola Tulips
Lola Tulips

Lola here. Creator of AskJoshuaFreeman and all of its OCs. She/Her | 24 | Writer and Artist | Fan of Half Life, Portal, Hlvrai, SCP, Murder Drones, and a good few others I can't recall at the moment lolol

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