Dr. Eggman Is Literally Richer Than Elon Musk

push pop yo !!

you’re not the only one—

something that isn’t talked about enough with chronic illness is knowing that going to your appointments and doing your exercises and all that will help but being in too much pain or too fatigued to go, so your just stuck in this constant cycle of knowing what you need to do to get better but not being able to do it because your sick

I am never letting go of the “English teacher Jason” headcanon/AU. It’s the best thing ever, I don’t give a shit what you might say. “He didn’t have a lengthy education” so what? This is an AU. He gets a better education. “He’s not good with kids” SAYS WHO. “He’s too busy with his vigilante life” IF TIM CAN RUN A COMPANY THEN JASON CAN BE A TEACHER.

specifically here are the reasons this headcanon/AU slaps:

jason: here's the homework for tonight, guys. bring it back in the morning. unless you have extenuating circumstances. I'm aware a lot of roads are closed and some of you might be hopped up on any number of air pollutants tomorrow because of the recent joker gas outbreak. just . . . i don't know, send me an email. His students: . . . the homework is literally to read a book jason: oh yeah. then . . . read. i guess. don't do anything else. also, don't go out. the bat's working on the gas problem.

jason: here's the book for this week's paper. It's one of my personal favorites! so disrespect it and I fail you. his students: . . . this is a janme austen novel jason: *built like a brick, wearing glasses that do not hidde his perpetual glower, has bruised knuckles* yes? his students: *internally* thank god none of us have insulted jane austen before his students: nothing, teach

Tim: hey, do you have time to join me on patrol tonight? jason: sorry, no. i ghotta read and edit like four papers, and one of them is Jimmy's. it's gonna be a wine night. tim: tim: my first instinct is to ask why you're reading and editing papers but I really honestly just want to know what the fuck jimmy did

his students: *falling asleep* jason: OMG IS THAT RED ROBIN his students: *snap up to look out the window* jason: *bangs hand on desk* WHY WOULD YOU CARE MORE ABOUT RED ROBIN THAN JOHN MUIR. ONE'S LITERALLY A KNOCKOFF ROBIN WITH A BURGER FRANCHISE COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT FOR A NAME

his students: *conversing in the hallway* yeah he's like . . . super ripped. i wonder if he . . . what if he's a superhero??? jason, wlaking past: *deadpan voice* ah, yes. i confess . . . *rips off glasses* I am superman one brave soul: we were thinking more like . . batman jason: what? ew, no.

I love you irl conversations about plurality

I love you respectful curious singlets/questioning systems

I love you normalizing plurality

[Lab Results Came Back Fine] [Me, To My Body] ACT LIKE IT THEN!

Learned today that the Plagiarism Machine (AKA Ch*tGPT) often incorporates em dashes into the drivel "writing" it produces, to the point people now flag em dash usage as an indicator a given bit of writing was produced by the Plagiarism Machine.

(It uses em dashes, one should note, because it was trained on material written by people who use them, AKA creative writers. See again: Plagiarism Machine.)

This is deeply distressing to me as a writer who has never-not-once used the Plagiarism Machine, because I LOVE EM DASHES SO FUCKING MUCH. I use them constantly. But since I would be MORTIFIED if someone thought I was using plagiarism software to produce my work, I caught myself momentarily contemplating striking them from my writing toolbox (or at least using them less frequently).

But here's the thing: I refuse to let a soulless, capitalist hellscape device chase me away from something I enjoy, let alone dictate the writing style I've developed over the course of two decades.

To make myself feel better about continuing on as normal—no matter what the fuck the Plagiarism Machine may say about it—I decided to do some research. The Plagiarism Machine was released in 2022. My most notable online work is Lucky Child, which began serialization in 2017. Even earlier samples of my work feature frequent em dash usage. Thus, my em dash usage predates the Plagiarism Machine by a not inconsiderable margin. For proof (and to comfort myself that no one could ever try and claim my em dash usage is indicative of the Plagiarism Machine's influence) I decided to look at the first chapter of Lucky Child, and—

I literally use one in the opening line.

I use a total of 9 in the first chapter alone.

The Plagiarism Machine owes every creative writer on the internet both a thank-you for the lesson in em dash usage AND an apology for absorbing that lesson without our consent.

Just saw an anti-endo calling endos ableists, then instantly using the r-slur. Genuinely pulling our hair out

> read library book

> it's good

Thank you library