Lonelyoneszone - Ash's Zone

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One of the main problems around people with personality disorders (particularly cluster B), psychotic disorders, OSDD/DID/other CDDs or other stigmatised mental conditions is, well... Everything we do gets put back onto our disorder. Every fault, every misstep, every mistake is used as proof to say that the stigma of us all being horrible people is right.

We can say "not everyone with x disorder harms people, and in fact we're more likely to BE harmed and abused than we are to hurt others" as much as we like--and of course, that's a true statement. But the moment someone with a stigmatised mental illness does something wrong, it's "of course you'd do xyz, you're a narcissist" or "checks out with the psychosis".

Someone with ASPD could cut someone off for any valid reason, but anyone else could spin it into "yeah, that's sociopaths for you". Someone with psychosis could wrongfully accuse someone of something and without being given a chance to apologise, suddenly it's "this is why we don't trust delusional people like you" and you're discredited from here on out. Someone with DID could genuinely forget that their alter had an argument with someone and be trying to sort it out, but no one wants to hear that something was forgotten in the amnesia, so and all they get is "see, people with DID just blame everything on their alters".

People with stigmatised disorders are just like anyone else. They're not evil or uniquely capable of harm, but that also means they're not incapable of making mistakes. Everyone is entitled to their own limits but I think people need to be more aware that disabled people can make genuine mistakes and one slip up or argument doesn't mean that pwNPD is secretly manipulating you. Sometimes people are manipulative and you need to be able to tell the difference--just like neurotypicals, disabled people can be abusive. But blaming mistakes or even genuine malice on someone's disorder does nothing but harm a marginalised group of people. If you wouldn't say "of course you would, you're neurotypical" to someone abusing someone else or if that wouldn't make sense to you, why would you do it to disabled people?

[8.14 -> 5.14]

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Hello

I am Haifa from Gaza 🇵🇸🍉

, Palestine, mother of three children. We faced many physical and psychological problems because of the war that completely destroyed our home and our source of income. My children’s health was destroyed because of contaminated water and contaminated food. We live in a canvas tent, and my children are shivering from the cold

My son Youssef, 8 years old, had ambitions to become an engineer, but the occupation destroyed his talent. Jory and Joan, the fun twins full of humor and fun in our house, they are 6 years old, deprived of my children's education.

Other than that, the price of food has become very expensive My kids make me cry heartburn because I can't provide for them because I don't have the money Pleas

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Ok I need everyone to understand that Buck and Eddie are both products of their upbringing. Buck was a child of neglect, which led to him having abandonment issues. While Eddie was a child forced to grow up too fast, which led to him having hyper-independence. Two different kind of traumas. Two different kinds of trauma response. Which would require two different kinds of help.

Buck and Eddie help each other overcome these things and because they are two different kinds of problems, the way they help will ALSO be different. Ever since they met, Eddie has always been there for Buck (don't even fight me on this) and Buck has always given Eddie what he needs. It will look imbalanced, but it's really not. They both need SOMEONE in their lives, just in different ways.

Buck doesn't need someone to take over his lease, or to take care of his son, or to help him figure out childcare, he needs someone to Not Leave Him Alone. Eddie doesn't need someone to tell him he's not expendable, or to be reassured he's trustworthy, or to be promised he's not going to be abandoned, he needs someone to Give Him a Helping Hand. And the moment they became friends they have been those SOMEONES to each other.

They are each other's persons. Equally.

something i noticed with "anti-xyz" spaces is that.... there is no room for "anti-xyz" spaces, because those spaces will not be focused on support, fun, or community. it's just a cult used to diminish other people's self worth and esteem.

an example is in DID/OSDD/Plurality/Multiplicity spaces. I popped into the tag on tumblr to see what others' experiences are, and am met with something labelled "anti endo" etc. . And I think, if you're making a community, the only option is to be "pro-endo" or "pro-xyz" because that's the only way you're gonna meet individuals who are focused on safety, friendship, and community. Because if you constantly focus on how "you fan only be plural if you have trauma"- it is NOT your business to guess what another's persons trauma is! You don't need to know if a person is traumatized or not to validate their existence! You don't need to know other people's traumas! That is not your business, nor is that knowledge a suitable foundation on which to build a relationship.

The only choice is to be pro-whatever discourse. Because people are first. if all you focus on is whether or not your traumas are enough or real, you're just going to doubt yourself and cause unnecessary stress.