This Is So Fucking Funny I Love Sharks

I had the most amazing fucking dream last night! Okay so it was dark out and I think had been raining recently. Jkr was stood on the sidewalk talking to a news reporter and there was a camera filming her. Anyways, far off in the distance there was a gaggle of clowns (who were aroace, I could sense it somehow) and they slowly crept up behind her and beat up jkr with bunch of hammers while saying something along the lines of "Get clowned on."

AND THEN I WOKE UP AND I WAS SO SAD JKR DIDN'T ACTUALLY GET BEAT UP BY A GAGGLE OF CLOWNS ON LIVE TELEVISION :(

it sucks cuz my fave ben & jerry ice cream has a pic of jimmy fallon on it. the tonight’s dough. it’s so good though. but i hate having him in my house. i hate seeing his little cuck face in the store. i legit turn the container around when i store it in the freezer to minimize face to face time. whenever i’m gonna buy some i tell my sister “i’m going to get the little cuck cream at the store” and she knows what i mean

how do i put ram in my friggin laptop

Mark Carney, Prime Minister of Canada.

Generations of damage. For Putin.

@theartisticcrow stop calling me out bro

I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

we will never know the scale of their riches 

WHAT