Update

Vent Post

I'm very obsessed with my body. Unfortunately, not in the self-love way but the self-hate way.

Ewan McGregor, my favorite actor, is also my biggest trigger when it comes to micro analyzing my body. This sucks turds. Like, I'm afraid the solution is to just stop looking at Ewan, stop watching his movies, just act like he doesn't exist.

I'd rather be trampled to death by a herd of horses.

He makes me happy and I love being part of his fan base! Why in the world would I give that up?

But I don't want to constantly compare my body to someone else's either. I don't know what to do, honestly. I feel like I'm at a pivotal moment where I'm still clear-minded enough to recognize that I'm going down an unhealthy road. Which means that I can still change course before I'm consumed with dysregulated thinking. I just don't know what that looks like.

Started working on something for Christian from "Moulin Rouge!" while listening to music on shuffle and the song Children of the Revolution came on 😆 perfect coincidence

Yes, Jetset has some amazing deliveries from Gerard! My favorite being "Aw sugar" 😩 goddamn I struggle to describe how it makes me feel. It's just perfect!

Another small moment that I absolutely adore and is probably my favorite out of the MCR songs I've heard so far is in I Don't Love You. At the final chorus after Gerard whispers the first part and then belts the rest. The way he goes from screaming to literally growling out the line "I don't" is just so gutteral and raw. It's fucking *mwah* 🤌

I was thinking about my tattoo question and I think I would get the lyric "run run bunny run" (or just run bunny run" on my neck or collarbone. I love the way Gerard sings the line and it's my favorite part in the song.

Is there a small lyric/moment in a MCR song that just scratches your brain perfectly?

Collarbone is such a good place to get a tattoo. I think the “alright” in jetset (actually all of the lyrical deliveries in that song) even though it’s not a good tat. I also love “hair black collar up jet black so cool”, “and without you is how I disappear”, and “put the stake in my heart” so fucking much

I'm sorry. Y'all didn't follow for all this sad stuff. I don't have people offline to share my vulnerable self with so easily. I've tried and tried to push through and figure things out by myself. I just feel like an absolute wreck of a person. I'm not even a person. I have something I must do that I've been putting off, and of course, it must be done alone. I'm very scared and angry and crying as I type this. I can only hope against hope against hope against HOPE that I will finally receive peace when it is done. That I can move on and be normal and happy and a real person again. The kind of person you'll like. I've let my family down. I've let myself down. And I feel like I've let you down. Things will be different. They'll be better. I have to believe it.

Oooooh that's really deep! 😯 I love your interpretation.

I have a particular way I like to interpret the song but it's a very long explanation lol.

"Move your body when the sunlight dies. Everybody hide your body from the scarecrow."

What do you interpret "the scarecrow" to mean?

I think scarecrows almost always are portrayed as soulless and so it’s kind of like a protect yourself from everyone and everything that would take away your spark, your anger, your soul

Obi-Wan Kenobi + 5 🎶

What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Easy! "Alone and Sublime" by Mother Mother. This song was MADE for my poor Obi

thank you so much! You're too sweet! 🫂

It's my best friends birthday (late/early idk) wanted to make him a birthday post since he's the most kindest person I've met.

He will listen about your day and yap with you.

He will give great advice. He will even do everything so you never feel alone. He is my favorite person in the earth ever (well Olivia is first lol )

Also when I came out as trans he was supportive.

So wish him birthday wishes . Thank you so much for bringing purpose to my life you are my best friend I'm glad you where born.

@loycspotting

Treat anything on Discord as media that will be lost

Do not use Discord to host your files. Do not rely on Discord to preserve your text. DO NOT RELY ON DISCORD FOR ANY KIND OF PRESERVATION OR HOSTING!!

It CAN be lost, it WILL be lost! You must consider Discord as a part of the Core Internet, controlled by one company that hosts the servers.

I thought it was impressive at first that it replaced IRC, but now I am horrified. If the company behind Discord went under today, how many friends would you lose?

How many relationships? How much writing?

You may think this won't happen, but I remember when AIM went down and along with it, entire novels worth of interaction with my oldest friend.

IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU. IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. NO COMPANY IS INFALLIBLE.

Back up your files! Download anything you've saved to Discord NOW, before the API changes go into effect! And DO NOT RELY ON THEM FOR HOLDING IMPORTANT FILES!

19. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Moulin Rouge! (2001)

Fun Fact: Jim Broadbent co-stars in this movie as Harold Zidler. He worked with Ewan on the movie "Little Voice" as Mr. Boo!

Director: Baz Luhrmann

Starring: Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor

Genre: Musical/Romance

Rating: PG-13

Synopsis: A young man named Christian who believes deeply in love although he has never fallen in love moves to France to pursue his dream of being a writer. He is befriended by a group of Bohemian artists who enlist him to help write a play for the Moulin Rouge. Thanks to a mix up, he meets the star of the Moulin Rouge, the courtesan Satine, and falls madly in love her. Unfortunately for him, not only is Satine betrothed to another man, she refuses to allow herself to fall in love.

Ewan Review: Ewan McGregor plays the character Christian. Christian is an optimistic and idealistic man. He believes that there is nothing more important than love. Although he is poor and Satine is meant to marry a rich Duke, he never loses hope that love will find a way for them to be together. Ewan speaks in an English accent for the role. He has a love interest, several kissing scenes, and two implied sex scenes. This is a musical so you get to hear him sing throughout the movie. He cries, screams, moans, and whimpers. His character is basically a puppy in human form so prepare for lots of charming innocence. His acting performance was wonderful.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 51/128 minutes making his SP 40%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Yes. Is it worth watching in general? Yes.

Where to Watch: "Moulin Rouge!" is available for rent on YouTube, Google Play Movies and TV, and Fandango at Home. You can also pirate it on soap2day.

Announcement

I think I'm breaking the rule which is don't make decisions late at night or something. But I also don't think it counts because these aren't life-changing decisions which is what the rule is for, right?

I don't think I'm going to do the Ewan McGregor Halloween event. I don't have the energy to even think about it. Plus, it's not like it's something I can do that won't be done better by somebody else anyway.

I think I've reached the end of the Ewan McGregor Screentime Percentage project. Again, lack of energy, not necessarily lack of interest. I don't see the point anymore, I guess.

No more SFW Alphabets. Sorry to the two friends who wanted a Curt Wild one. I tried and I just can't even look at my drafts anymore. I had a few in the works and was very excited. I realized I'm just not any good at it.

I'm just tired a lot and can't think. Even Ewan is bringing me less comfort. More like a bandaid on a broken leg. I'm truly sorry if you looked forward to my posts. Hope that doesn't sound arrogant. I really wanted to do it for you.