By popular demand (hi Nawy) I’m making a separate post for that bit on the latest Chuuya post that I cut out about Chuuya’s relation to emotional vulnerability, and how fics exploring this could be really nice. (For clarity, I cut it out because I didn’t think it flowed with the rest of the post, even if it is related to it.)
“There is a part of Chuuya that wants to be treated kindly without expectations - real friendship, an equal dynamic. It's notable in the particular moments that actually endear him to a person - the Flags going out of their way to give him information about his past simply because they're his friends, Adam trying to cheer him up by giving him hope about finding out his identity from N, whatever happened to result in his unshakeable trust in Dazai. You could even make an argument for the way he frantically and instinctively reached out to hold his own younger, weaker clone self in his arms as he died. I keep thinking about @originalaccountname’s desire to see more fics that focus on Chuuya receiving care and allowing himself to not have to always be the strong one. I'd like to see this too tbh, but not just because Chuuya deserves to feel comfortable enough to open up these vulnerabilities - but also because the entire notion of such a thing would be deeply conflicting to him, I believe, and that could make for some intriguing character study.
See, that no-strings kindness runs completely counter to the self-concept he has and that image of himself he's built up as "the one who does the protecting". Favours are no problem, because those don't dig into his inner self and can be easily repaid. But when it comes to more personally meaningful gestures, he's not great at accepting them, and tends to respond in one of two ways: getting defensive and looking for the "trap" or "catch", or briefly reacting with gaping surprise or muted happiness before immediately bottling that up with feigned irritation or indifference. I'm of the mind that it would take a long time to get him to the point where he could accept personally meaningful kind gestures and, god forbid, anything to do with emotional support, because in the end, it seems like he has a much easier time taking betrayal and pain in stride than acts of care. Chuuya expects danger. Kindness without expectation towards his person appears to be more shocking.”
A lot of the fics I’ve been working on involve tackling this particular contradictory aspect of Chuuya, but unfortunately they are all wips and for some reason do not write themselves. I highly encourage anyone who likes doing character study type pieces or just likes to see their favourite characters get some affection to play with this concept a bit. There’s a lot there to work and play with!
Polyarchives, Polychives, etc. etc.
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the distortion
× Summer started in May. It is still Summer, even though it is already the end of October.
× The scorpions are hiding. They are the sand, the wall, the cement. Only the green glow of their bodies at night alow us to slay them.
× There isn't a cloud in sight. The vast blue stretches hopelessly for miles farther than you can see. There is no end to the sky. There never has been, never will be.
× It's only 100°F outside. You thank the sun for being merciful.
× The rain is coming. You can tell by the wall of dust that's rolling toward your town.
× Monsoons have filled the parks with ponds. People swim and kiak there, happy that the ground was too hard to be pelted away by the rain. We do not wish to see what is underneith.
× The sun is bright and for once the wind is cool and gentle. You close your eyes and for a moment you imagine it's a lovely summer day. But it's only the dellusions of an early November.
× The lizards are about.
× The Cooing Doves gather in droves. They are mindless, yet organized. You wonder where they come from.
× Don't go into the desert at night. The military appriciates your cooperation.
× It's lightning storm season. The tease of rain is in the air, but it will never come.
× It's raining, it's pouring, it's unyeilding and destroying.