snooze - sza
pairing: Art Donaldson x reader, Patrick Zweig x reader, Tashi Duncan x reader summary: Art comes out of retirement to test out his coaching skills. Your relationship with him continues to spiral. warnings: smut 18+, cheating, divorce, rough sex, piv, marijuana use, slight angst, hastily proofread word count: 7.7K divider by @cafekitsune <3 prev part | next part
Kaleb decides he wants to play tennis. Or that he wants to âget seriousâ about it. Heâd done tennis camp every summer along with soccer camp, and heâd enjoyed it enough. But for some reason, heâs determined to be a tennis player now. You blame it on how much time heâs been spending around the Donaldsonâs. Between the various play dates and carpooling, he and Lily have been attached at the hip.
The two of you are enjoying a quiet evening on a weeknight when he brings it up.Â
âLily doesnât really like tennis,â he tells you in between bites of mashed potatoes.Â
âWell thatâs okay. Sometimes our friends end up having different hobbies,â you say.
âHm,â he puts his finger to his chin, âkinda like you and Mr. Art?â
âWhat do you mean?â
âWell heâs like the greatest tennis player ever,â he says, spreading his arms out wide. âBut youâre terrible at tennis. And you guys are friends right?â
His assertion has you placing your fork down. âOkay, first of all, Iâm not terrible at tennis. Secondly, itâs really not fair to compare me to a professional tennis player, K, heâs had years of practice.â Then, you reluctantly think of the last thing he said. About the two of you being friends.Â
Images of Art kneeling above you in bed dance through your mind. You think of the last time you were with him. How heâd laid his cheek on your thigh while you threaded your fingers through his tufts of blonde hair. His gaze searing as he watched you in all your post-orgasmic bliss. Your chest was still heaving as you tried to recover. Â
You clear your throat.Â
âYeah, um, I guess we are friends.â You avoid eye contact with Kaleb and pray he changes the subject. You donât want to think about Art.Â
Unfortunately, your son is too young to properly read the room. If he was, heâd see the way youâre clenching your fork in your fist. Or he wouldâve realized by now that his mom is a harlot. Instead of calling you out on your immorality, he turns to you with express earnestness. âI wanna play tennis like Mr. Art,â he says definitively.
He then furrows his little eyebrows and asks you, âyou think I can be as good as him one day?â
You smile, reach over to smooth your palm over his curls, and tug his ear. You say what every parent would. âI think you can do whatever you put your mind to, my little monkey.âÂ
He grins at you, dimple poking out.
After all, youâre almost certain this is just an eager phase prompted by Lily bringing Tashi to school for career day. Tashi mentioned to you that Kaleb was very eager to ask questions about her job. Apparently, he thought it was super cool that she âgot to coach the best tennis players in the world.â Youâre worried that before dinner is over he might ask you to put in a word with her about coaching him.Â
Once youâve finished eating, tucked Kaleb in, and tidied up the kitchen, you finally get to relax with a cup of lavender chamomile tea.
Before you settle into the refuge of your bed, you make a note to sign Kaleb up for club tennis.Â
áŻ
Youâre at a gas station near Kalebâs school when you realize your dumb credit card has a faulty chip. You grab your purse and lock the doors to your car, having been forced to go inside the store and pay for your gas the old fashioned way.Â
The door shuts behind you with a ring of a bell. The unmistakable smell of fuel fills your nostrils as it mixes with stale coffee and the emblematic stench of small convenience stores. You grumble when you see thereâs a short line.Â
With a sigh, you take a detour down one of the narrow aisles to grab a pack of gum. You pick out a random pack of spearmint, but your inner child lingers on the yellow packaging of juicy fruit bubble gum sitting beside it. When you were little, your mom wouldâve made you pick one or the other. Without a second thought, you pluck the yellow pack out from the shelf and head back towards the front.Â
On your walk back, you glance out the windows, checking to make sure the pump youâre parked at is still number 5.Â
The line is shorter now. Thereâs only two people. You think you recognize the dark head of the person standing at the counter. Theyâre digging through the back pocket of their jeans and pulling out a leather wallet when your cellphone dings. Itâs an email notification from your boss. You read the subject header before dropping the phone back into your purse, hoping to avoid whatever stressor awaits you there for a couple more hours or so. When you look back up, youâre met with the face of the dark haired stranger.Â
His eyes meet yours. Patrick Zweig sends you a mischievous smile of recognition as he saunters toward you. He snaps his fingers. âI know you.â
âHi, Patrick,â you say through your tight smile. The last time youâd seen him, he tried to blackmail you into going out with him. If he wasnât so attractive, youâd probably be repulsed by him.Â
âLong time no see.â He pockets his package of Marlboros. âHow you been?â
âUm just busy you know,â you hum. âYou?âÂ
He nods. âSame, same.â He looks you over, smile growing wider when he meets your eyes after lingering on your cleavage. He doesnât even attempt to be discreet.Â
You scoff, rolling your eyes to the side.
Thankfully, the bald guy in front of you finishes up his transaction so you have an excuse to say âexcuse meâ to Patrick as you approach the register. You glance back when you hand your money to the bored cashier, catching one last glimpse of Patrick as he exits through the door. You nibble on the inside of your cheek, feeling the tiniest hint of disappointment.Â
You accept your change and two packs of gum and make your way back to your car. Not wanting to waste any more time at this point, you toss the plastic bag into the passenger seat and hurry to pump your gas. Â
Youâre leaning against the trunk while the fuel fills your tank when you hear a small âhey.âÂ
Youâre startled as Patrick approaches you again. You look around suspiciously. âUm are you stalking me?âÂ
âNo.â He huffs out a laugh. âI was standing over there taking a smoke.â He points towards his beat up suv. You wonder why he doesnât have a better car. You thought tennis players made money. âAnd I saw you. Didnât get to say goodbye earlier.âÂ
You click your tongue. âWell, bye.âÂ
âWaitâI hope I didnât rub you the wrong way last time.â He rubs his palm over the back of his neck. âI kind of have a fucked up sense of humor.âÂ
âIt wasnât the joke,â you supply. âIt was more so you trying to blackmail me into going on a date with you.âÂ
He laughs. âYeah, I donât know why that didnât work.â The grin he gives you sends a shiver down your spine.Â
This time, you smirk, your gaze tracing the length of his body, from his Nikes to the curly wisps of hair flying in the wind. The gas pump clicks, signifying that your tank is full. You donât remove it right away because youâre busy letting Patrick type his number into your phone. You wish you could say you played hard to get, but that would be a lie of monumental magnitude.Â
You donât actually intend to call him, content to let his number go forgotten in your phone. After all, what type of woman would get involved with the best friend of the man sheâs having an affair with?Â
Later on, when youâre having a glass of wine, mommy duties complete for the night, you pause on his number as you tap through your phone. You inhale, take a sip from your glass, and quickly save his contact before swiping out of the app. You can blame it on your being slightly tipsy when you notice that heâs saved as âfor a rainy day.âÂ
áŻ
It turns out that the tennis thing isnât just a phase. You donât mind of course. Youâd always support your kid in whatever he pursued. The only issue is that Art fucking Donaldson thought it would be a good idea to train little Kaleb. As if you needed more reasons to be around the man.Â
Youâd told him that you didnât think it was necessary because your son was only eight years old. Surely, he wouldnât need a retired professional tennis player to train him. His tennis lessons at the local club would certainly suffice. Plus, you imagined he had more important things to attend to than give private lessons to a third grader.Â
On a random weeknight, youâd gone to pick Kaleb up from a play date with Lily, hoping to grab him and get back home before the rain got any worse. Art had greeted you at the door, placing a hand on the small of your back.Â
He decided to bring up the topic again. Even Tashi, who was usually busy with training of her own, chimed in, claiming it would be a good opportunity for Art to find real meaning in tennis again. Whatever that meant. Patrick, who you had been avoiding thinking about, once again inserted himself into a conversation, pointing out how young he and Art were when they first started playing tennis. According to him, it was never too early to learn how to properly hit a ball with a racket.Â
áŻ
The thought of Art spending time with Kaleb through tennis is an endearing one if youâre being honest with yourself. But you know you would have an intense fight on your hands should Chris find out.Â
Ever since Art had stepped in with your ex at the fall festival, heâd harbored an attitude toward him. Heâd gone as far as complaining about all the time Kaleb spent at his house, accusing you of trying to turn your son against him. If it werenât for the court mandated visits, youâd have simply told Chris to go to hell. But in an attempt to maintain peace for your sonâs sake, you reassured him that Kaleb only spent so much time around Art because Lily was his best friend.Â
You asked him if it was worth destroying his sonâs friendship. He conceded for the time being, but youâre sure if he found out about any extra tennis lessons, heâd blow a gasket.Â
Ironically, you had never been offered the freedom to express such possessiveness. You had to be content each and every time your son stayed at his fatherâs new house with his new fiancĂ©e that you barely knew anything about. You handle some occasions better than others.Â
This time, though, when you watch Kaleb go through the front door of their luxurious home, Spider-Man backpack affixed on his back, your stomach churns. Chrisâ fiancĂ©e smiles and waves to you with her left hand. Bitterly, you think itâs a miracle she can even lift it with the large diamond wrapped around her finger. She places her hand on your sonâs shoulder, pulling him into their home, as if she wasnât the one that helped wreck yours.Â
Maybe itâs the fact that this past week wouldâve been your anniversary, but your shoulders shake with sobs throughout the entire drive home. You sniffle as you think about Kaleb building a life with his soon to be step-mom. You hope she treats him right, but, ultimately, you wish he didnât have to know her at all.Â
It doesnât help that you arenât able to bury your sorrows in Artâs chest or on his dick. Heâd already told you about the gala heâd be attending that weekend for the Donaldson Foundation. You havenât seen him since last weekend, and you ache to call him, but the thought makes you feel nauseous when you think about the wretched irony of seeking comfort in a married man. In a decision thatâs almost homogeneously pathetic, you sit in your lonely driveway and send a âheyâ to âfor a rainy day.â
áŻ
It doesnât take long for Patrick to offer to come over. You send him your location as you pop open a bottle of wine.Â
You reach for a glass, your eagerness causing you to apply too much force as you slam the glass down. It breaks under the pressure of your haste, immediately cracking at the stem. The inconvenience is too much for you. You curse before bringing the entire bottle up to your mouth. You take a swig, red liquid spilling out of the corner of your mouth. With a gasp, you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. Pitifully, your vision starts to blur again as your eyes swell up with hot tears. You resort to sitting on the kitchen floor, taking the occasional drink, and wallowing in your despair.Â
Youâre propped against the cabinet, knees to your chest as you cradle the green tinted bottle of red wine like a toddler holding a stuffed animal, when you hear your doorbell ring. You stumble to your feet, dragging them as you move toward the door. When you swing the door open, Patrick is standing there with his hands in his pockets. He looks you over once, mumbling that you âlook like shitâ before stepping into your home as if heâd been there a thousand times.Â
He lifts his eyebrows when he sees the neglected pieces of glass on your counter. He looks back at the bottle in your fist before groaning. âPlease donât tell me youâre an alcoholic.âÂ
You roll your eyes. âNo, Iâm just having a pretty shitty day.âÂ
âNo shit,â he snorts.Â
You send him a glare. âI donât even know why I called you,â you say and rub your temples.Â
âBecause Iâm obviously easy and you know it.â He smirks.Â
It makes you laugh, your red, puffy eyes squinting back at him.Â
Patrick eventually convinces you to smoke the joint heâd brought with him. You havenât gotten high in years, and you find yourself mindlessly rambling about your life as you pass the joint back and forth to him. Youâd stopped crying a while ago, your eyes now red because of the weed.Â
You and Patrick are lounging on the floor of your living room. Youâre dragging your fingers through the shag rug underneath you and leaning your head back on the sofa when you hear him laugh. He sounds like heâs far away, down through a tunnel, but when you turn your head, his face is right beside you.Â
âWhatâs funny?â You grunt.Â
He shakes his head. âSânothing.âÂ
You frown and shove his bicep. âTell me,â you say, scooting closer to him. âI hate feeling left out.âÂ
His smile falters for a second like heâs remembering something, but when you blink heâs sporting a melancholic grin. âItâs justâyou kind of remind me a lot of Art.â His head falls to the side to really look at you. âI mean not like completely, and not really how he is now, but when youâre upsetâit reminds me of when we were teenagers.âÂ
âI canât tell if thatâs a good thing or not,â you say. It comes out as a whisper. Your faces are so close that you donât want to startle him.Â
âHm.â His eyes flicker to your lips. âNot a good or bad thing. Just a thing.âÂ
âThatâs why you like me?â You mumble teasingly. âBecause I remind you of your boyfriend?âÂ
He smirks, lips so close to yours you feel his breath fan them. âWho said I liked you?âÂ
âYou donât have to.â Youâre just the slightest movement away from kissing him. If you tilt your head just the tiniest bitâ
He lets out an almost imperceptible moan when he finally presses his lips to yours. Itâs so quiet, you think you mightâve imagined it. It all happens incredibly fast, but feels like slow motion. Your head is fuzzy and your body is tingling as Patrick grabs your waist, hoisting you onto his lap. It takes you a moment to build momentum, your sensory overload working against you.
When youâre finally able to match his energy, the kiss is searing. Heâs sucking your lip into his mouth like youâre already his, hands roaming everywhere he can get them. When he bites your bottom lip, you suck in a breath, giving him room to thrust his tongue into your mouth. You mewl at the way your mouths seem to fit together like velcro. Your toes curl and you tighten your fists into his dark locks when you feel his hot tongue traveling down your throat, leaving white hot bites that feel like being branded. His teeth sting and your cunt throbs as you impulsively rut against his length.Â
Patrick rubs his large palm over your ass before abruptly smacking it, making you release an embarrassingly airy moan. His teeth tug on your earlobe. âYou like that?âÂ
You only nod, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.Â
âHmm?â He mumbles, continuing to lave over the skin behind your ear. His hand comes down on your ass again, harder this time.Â
You let out a pathetic squeal and slam your hips down against him in search of some kind of friction to relieve the ache between your legs. âOh godâplease fuck meââ
His mouth meets yours again. You can barely kiss him properly, panting about needing him to fuck you right now.Â
He really is easy, you think, but itâs not like you have room to talk.
áŻ
The first time Patrick Zweig sinks his cock into you, youâre on your knees, face pressed against your rug. The slam of his hips threaten to take your breath away as tears cling to your eyelashes. Heâs rough, possessively grabbing your flesh with no regard for potential damage. When he experimentally grips your hair in his hand, tugging your head back gently, you see stars behind your clamped eyelids.
Patrick nearly whimpers at the way it makes you arch your back into his thrusts with increasing intensity. He groans something about you being a slut and fists your hair with less restraint. Your walls clench around him when he wraps his hand around your throat, pulling you to his chest.Â
He grunts into your ear. âI knew you liked it rough, could tell from the first time I saw you.âÂ
The tears have started to spill now. Whether itâs from the humiliation or the utter ecstasy, you arenât sure. All you know is that you almost sob when Patrick drags his tongue alongside your face, collecting the salty tears.
áŻ
He buries himself inside you for a second time no more than twenty minutes after youâve both cum. You gasp and claw at his back as his body presses you into your couch cushions.
You have to admit that Patrick knows how to fuck. Knows how to read your body, tapping into just the right frequency to get you off.Â
Itâs obvious that youâve been craving this type of treatment from the way youâre responding to him. But youâre sure that he must have a sexual sixth sense because in the midst of fucking you wildly, he grabs your ankle thatâs dangling by his ear, turns his head, and plants a sweet kiss to the bone. It makes you melt into the sofa.Â
He leans down to shove his tongue into your open mouth. Softly pats your cheek, relishing in your cock drunk state.Â
âDoes he fuck you like this?â He murmurs into your neck.
You donât have to ask who heâs talking about.Â
âHuh?â He prods.Â
You choke down a moan. âBetter. Heââ You cry out when you feel him start rubbing harsh circles into your clit. âHe fucks me better.âÂ
He huffs out a laugh through his smile, but his hips slam down harder as if heâs determined to change your answer. In less than a minute, youâre biting down on his shoulder when you feel another orgasm rack through your body.Â
áŻ
You take a longer break this time. Stopping to pour yourself a real glass of wine. One with its stem intact. Patrick lazily inhales from a cigarette as he watches you, with hooded eyes, attempt to hold a throw blanket over your bare torso. In contrast, he nonchalantly spreads his thighs over your couch, body on full display.Â
His eyes leisurely meet yours. They shine prettily in the dim lighting of your home. His dark lashes flutter on each drag of his cig and it makes the corner of your mouth curve up when you take a sip. The lamps have cast a cozy shade of amber over the room. It blankets Patrickâs skin in a golden aura reminiscent of something being baked in an oven.Â
Patrick reminds you of the gingerbread man, you think. It makes you press the tips of your fingers to your lips to stifle a giggle.Â
He tilts his head at your odd behavior, but he assumes the weed must still be affecting you.Â
Once youâve placed your glass on the coffee table, and heâs put out his cigarette, Patrick is pulling you by the ankle, tossing your blanket to the side and kissing his way down your abdomen.Â
You yelp when he captures one of your hard nipples in his mouth but let him press his hot kisses into your skin nonetheless.Â
You end up cumming for the third time that night with his head buried between your legs.Â
áŻ
Patrick leaves while youâre asleep.Â
When you wake up around 3am to an empty house, you think itâs for the best. You check your phone. You have a missed call from âa.d.â and a text from Patrick that says âhad funâ with a winking emoji. You donât respond to either, instead, opting to pad your bare feet to the bathroom. You desperately need a shower.
In the morning, you tidy up your home from the events of the night before, cringing at what took place on the terracotta colored sofa.
When the buzzing in your head doesnât stop after cleaning your entire living room from top to bottom, you find yourself in the kitchen, pulling out ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies.Â
Youâre frantically kneading dough when the doorbell rings. You frown, not expecting company, but clean your hands as best you can as you make your way to open the door. Sometimes, your talkative neighbor, Mrs. Taylor, likes to come knocking on your door early in the mornings.Â
Youâre surprised to find that Art is standing on the other side with a latte and a bag containing a chocolate croissant. You assume itâs for you. He places his things down on the table by the door, the one that holds your catch all tray, and scoops you up into a hug.Â
He groans into it, making you smile. âHi,â you mumble into his chest.Â
âHi, pretty girl,â his voice comes out equally mumbled. âMissed you.â You can hear the grin in his tone. It makes your heart clench.Â
You allow yourself to hold onto him, despite the ever present worry that you should be reining yourself in when it comes to him. He moves to let you go, grabbing your face in his palm and kissing the side of your head. You whine and lock your arms around his waist in protest. You inhale his scent, all warm and familiar. Youâve missed him.Â
âBaby,â he laughs into your hair. You grunt, squeezing him tighter. âOkay, câmere.â He pulls you into him, securely engulfing you in his arms. âI got you, I got you.âÂ
You eventually release him long enough to walk into your home.Â
Youâre relieved that youâd been overtaken by a cleaning spell this morning because you fear that Art might take one glance at your couch and figure out who had been here. That heâd smell him in the air.Â
Youâre afraid he mightâve detected it anyway when he freezes in the walkway separating your kitchen from the living room. You nibble on your lip as you try to search his body for any signs that heâs onto you.Â
To your relief, Art is actually focused on the copious amounts of cookie dough you have on the counter of your kitchen island. He turns to you with the all knowing look of a father, his eyes creased with concern. âOh no, what happened?âÂ
áŻ
After a therapy session in which you decide to stop letting your ex influence your decisions from afar, you finally relent, allowing Art to begin practicing with Kaleb on their private tennis court. It seems like since you got involved with their family, thatâs all you ever do, give in to everyoneâs requests. In any other context, it would be disturbing, but the sight of Kaleb racing to the court with an oversized tennis bag fills you with joy. The bag threatens to pull him down, but his excitement keeps him upright as he makes a beeline for Art.Â
You donât know whoâs more excited to see Art between the two of you. Your sonâs tennis instructor waves at you from across the court. And you have to fight the rush that flows through you, threatening to cut off your oxygen, and give a simple wave in return. It makes you feel like a kid with a fervent crush. You could gag.
You remind yourself that youâre here for Kaleb. Not you.
You think that as long as you get to see him happy like that, youâd agree to anything. Itâs a scary notion, but becoming a mom has made you aware of a lot of terrifying realities.Â
áŻ
Itâs this maternal need to preserve your sonâs happiness that leads you to another prolonged encounter with Tashi Duncan. Sheâd caught you when you were dropping him off for tennis lessons one day. Apparently, she had a free day. Lily was spending the day with her grandparents, and Patrick is, thankfully, nowhere to be found. You try to hide your relief when she tells you that. You donât think you can face him right now.Â
She insists you join her in their sunroom while the boys practice. You try to think of an excuse to turn her down, but you decide your karma from sleeping with her husband has built up too much to take the chance of tacking on more. So, when she offers to make you a cup of tea, you oblige and sink down into the fabric of a warm sofa.
When Tashi reappears, she sits down with a cup of steaming hot tea for the both of you. You thank her with a smile, letting your eyes trail over her figure. She looks ethereal. The sunlight pouring through the glass forms a halo of light around her, illuminating her like a Madonna painting. She has her hair pulled back into a low ponytail that causes her to have to tuck the loose strands behind her ear every now and then. The motion makes you take notice of her slim neck and the way her collarbones dip into her loose-fitted button down. Even dressed casually, she looks like a goddess.Â
You feel your heart start to beat a little faster and reach to take a sip of your tea. You wonder how she knew that lavender chamomile was one of your favorites.
Itâs only awkward for a moment because the two of you quickly fall into a conversation about what sheâs missed now that Art has taken over attending the PTA meetings. Thatâs how youâd initially met her. She had actually been the one who you exchanged communication with about carpool and play dates. Artâs retirement allowed her to focus on tennis and other aspects of raising Lily that she preferred. You giggle when she admits that she never really liked those meetings anyway. You donât tell her that you always had that inkling.Â
When you mention that Cynthia is still advertising her knitting business at every single meeting, she sucks in a laugh before leaning toward you. She presses her lips together, holding in her giggle. âGuess what?â
You squint at her, your expression already anticipating a joke. âWhat?â You all but sputter out.Â
âIâm probably responsible for like half the sales on her Etsy shop.â She says like sheâs admitting to something top secret. Itâs a lot like the expression Lily takes on when her and Kaleb are playing âsecret agent.â
âGirl, what?â You didnât think sheâd be a fan of crocheted animal figures.Â
âI ordered one for my mom for Motherâs Day,â she explains. âShe fell in love with the thing I swear, thought it looked just like her little Yorkie, next thing you know sheâs asking for the link to share with all her friends.âÂ
Youâre snickering into your mug imagining Tashi unintentionally being Cynthiaâs best saleswoman.
She smiles at you. âIâm serious. Apparently, amigurumi is the new thing. Itâs gonna be flying off the shelves. Thatâs why I had to go ahead and put in my order.â
âOf course you know the official term.â You toss your head back. âWhatâs yours look like?âÂ
âItâs a little tabby cat,â she smiles wistfully. âLike the one I had growing up. Her name was Aphrodite.âÂ
Itâs a fitting name.
Youâre biting back a grin as you take a sip from your tea. You sigh at the taste. âHowâd you know what type of tea I liked?â You ask absentmindedly.Â
âArt mentioned it to me.âÂ
You freeze. âArt?âÂ
âYeah he says you like to make it before bed. Now, heâs hooked on it.âÂ
All the blood in your body rushes to your head. You feel that unwelcome yet proverbial sinking in your gut. You think you might start projectile vomiting.
âAre you okay?â
You donât respond. Itâs hard to speak when you feel like youâre dangling upside down on a roller coaster.
âWait⊠you didnât think I knew did you?â
For some unintelligent reason, you decide to play stupid. Usually, in times of danger, humans resort to fight, flight, or freeze. You choose fucking idiot. âKnew what?â
âThat youâre fucking my husband.â Tashi says quite unceremoniously.
âWhatâwhat do you mean?â You squeak out.
âDonât.â She laughs. âIâve known the whole time.âÂ
âHow?â Your voice is shrinking smaller and smaller to your ears. The sound of Tashiâs voice, her pert laughter, drowning it out.
âArt tells me everything.â
âAnd youâre okay with it?â You attempt to ask though you can barely hear it.
You know your question reaches her ears because she shakes her head and tells you, âI suggested it.âÂ
Your eyes go wide. Her divulgence seems to propel you forward on your metaphorical roller coaster. In a snap, it brings you out of your stupor.
âI told Art that he should fuck you.â She says it like itâs nothing. Like itâs as simple as telling him to pick up some carry out on the way home.Â
Youâre confused, and your head is starting to hurt from the whiplash, and you wish this ride would end already. âIâmâIâm not sure I understand whatâs going on here.â
âOkay, well, Artâs been attracted to you since the day he met you,â she says plainly. âBut heâd never actually do anything about it because thatâs just who he is. He needed that pushââ
âThat push?â
She nods. âHe needed to know he could do it and everything would be fine. Heâs still figuring out how to be open to stuff like this.â She explains, gestures vaguely in the air. âHeâd never break up what seemed like a happy marriage, but when it was clear that your marriage was far from happyâŠwell he started to warm up to the idea.â
âWhat do you mean far from happy?â The shock has you feeling unreasonably defensive.
âClearly something was off. You never seemed happy with him. Youâve said it yourself that he was a dick.â
âUmâokay, well, Iâd say something has to be off if youâre coaching your husband into sleeping with unsuspecting women.â You shoot back. Your gaze is sharp and accusatory.
She lets her eyes fall down to her lap, picking at little buds of lint being exposed by the sunâs glow. âYouâre right, something was off between us,â she says like itâs something in the past. Like maybe theyâre good now, but at one time they werenât. âBut Art knows how I feel about him.â Then, her gaze returns to you. âSomething tells me your husband either didnât know or didnât care.â
Her comment strikes a nerve. Chris did know something was off, and she was right, he didnât care. He made you feel like needing more from him made you selfish. As if the reminder of the vows he made to you was an affront to him. He knew you were unhappy. That you felt ignored. But he didnât care. When youâd served him the divorce papers, you naively thought that heâd realize what he might lose, that he might beg for your forgiveness, promise to be better. Instead, you watched him sign the document in the same way heâd signed receipts for dinner before closing the tab and tucking the pen inside.Â
You think you envy her. Because she has a husband that actually doesnât want to leave her.Â
âHey.â She grabs your attention. Her voice softens when she sees your glassy eyes peering back at her. âIâm not judging you. Iâm just trying to offer an explanation.âÂ
You work to swallow down the onslaught of emotions threatening to rise up like bile. You release a fractured noise from your throat, letting the revelation fully soak in. âSo you really knew this whole time then? Or rather you orchestrated it?âÂ
âOkay, thatâs a little extreme,â she says. âWhen we found out you were getting divorced, I mentioned to Art that he should pursue you. Thatâs all.â She shrugs. âI never knew if heâd actually do it or when heâd do it. All I know is that the first night he came home smelling like you, he fucked me like he did when I first agreed to be his tennis coach.âÂ
âThen, he was constantly meeting up with you or staying to talk after PTA meetings,â her fingers curl to form quotations around the word, talk. âBut I knew what was up.â She bites her lip. âIt was honestly kind of hot.âÂ
You frown. The thought of him sleeping with her immediately after being with you has your stomach in knots. The worst part is that you canât stop wondering if heâd showered first. If heâd cleaned himself up or if heâd went straight to her, buried himself inside her, cock still sticky with your fluids. In a way, itâs like you had also been inside her. If you think about it long enough, you can imagine what it must feel like. So, you donât think about it. Instead, you fix your gaze on the golden pothos plant sitting on top a table to your right. The tapping of your nail against the ceramic mug fills the silence.Â
She gives you a questioning look.Â
Ignoring the implications of what she just told you, you settle for the anger youâre feeling instead of dwelling on any confusing arousal. âDo you not realize how fucked up this is, Tashi?â
âExcuse me?âÂ
âYeah! Itâs fucked!â You throw your hands up. âI mean Iâve been running around feeling guilty, thinking I was a fucking homewrecker while the two of you get off on a cheating kink!â
She can tell you have more to say, so she leans back and lets you go on.
âI mean how could you do that? I was fucking depressed.â
She snorts. âNot so depressed that it ruined your libido. You two have been going at it like rabbits.â Her smirk makes your cheeks burn.Â
You place your mug down onto the table. âWow. You know what?â Youâre on the edge of the couch now, body rigid. âYou and Art can go fuck yourselves! This is seriously messed up.â
She raises her eyebrows. âAs messed up as you fucking another womanâs husband?âÂ
Her words drip with mirth, and it pisses you off that the fiery look in her eyes is poking at a budding desire in your belly. âThis is ridiculous,â you mumble to yourself. Youâd rather focus all your energy on being outraged than interrogate why this is kind of turning you on. Youâre about to stand up to leave when she places a hand on your arm.
âAre you seriously mad right now?â She asks you.Â
An incredulous look takes over your face. âWhat do you think?â You spit out.
âWell, would you have preferred I not know?â She asks as if youâre the crazy one here.
âIââ you squeeze your eyes shut, and try to gather your thoughts. âObviously not, Tashi.â You glance up to the glass paned ceiling. âI justâit wouldâve been nice to know what was really going on. I mean he never even told me that you knew.â
âWell, did you ask?â She asks simply.Â
Did you? You think back to the past couple of months. The more you and Art hooked up, the more you avoided directly mentioning Tashi. He didnât bring her up more than what was necessary, so you suspected he was actively trying to keep it from her.Â
To be fair, he did mention a couple of times that heâd told Tashi you two were going to meet up for lunch, but you thought he mustâve been leaving out the activities that followed. And if she happened to call him while the two of you were together, he would casually tell her he was with you. You obviously assumed he was downplaying your friendship because there was no way Art would be so nonchalant about a mistress. But, apparently, the word mistress didnât even apply to you.Â
âI mean, I guess I didnât.â You stammer. âBut I feel like that was on him to bring it up to me.â
âWell thatâs where you went wrong. Art can get in his own way sometimes.â A pensive expression works itâs way onto her face. âOr maybe part of him did kind of get off on feeling like he was sneaking around.â The thought seems to bring a small smile to her face.Â
It still doesnât make sense to you. You try to tamper down the sinking feeling that youâve been nothing more than a pawn. âI just donât understand why you two couldnât proposition me like a normal couple looking for a third,â you say.
âWho said you were our third?âÂ
âOh, so thereâs other women youâve sent Art to fuck?â
âNo. IâI donât just pimp out my husband, okay?â
You back down.
âWe already have aâŠthird I guess.â
You look at her with furrowed brows.Â
âPatrick.â She answers.
âPatrick? Like Patrick Patrick?â
She nods.
You laugh cynically. You didnât think this situation could get any worse.
âI know.â She sighs. âI know how it seemsââ
âWas that part of the plan too?â Youâre out of breath, chest heaving.Â
She looks genuinely confused. âWhat are you talking about?âÂ
âMe and Patrick,â you blurt.Â
âWait a minute, youâre sleeping with Patrick?â Sheâs scooting closer to you.Â
You shake your head. âIt just happened once.â You think of how heâd shoved your face into the rug, fucking into you as he grunted out various obscenities. âI was high. I havenât spoken to him since.â
She looks away for a moment, brows drawn together tightly. Sheâs piecing together what youâve told her.Â
âIâI didnât know he was with you guys,â you try.Â
She waves you off. âNo, itâs not that.â She sits back. âIâm just not surprised that he wormed his way into your pants. He just couldnât take that Art had something to himself.â Sheâs speaking to you, but her eyes are trained ahead.Â
âSo, you really didnât set that up too?â You ask meekly.Â
âGod, no!â She says. âI had no idea.âÂ
You believe her.Â
âLook I donât care what type of weird shit you tennis players are into, if you guys have wild orgies or whatever. I just wouldâve liked to have known that I wasnât a hypocrite.â
âA hypocrite?â
You nod. âI mean I sit here and give my ex shit for cheating on me with that skinny ass whore from Modesto. Hell! Thatâs why I got so much fucking alimony.â Youâre rambling now. âAnd, then, I go and let Art fucking Donaldson screw me and then send him back home to play loving father and husband like itâs nothing. God! And on top of it all, I also sleep with his best friend! I became the whore from Modesto.âÂ
Tashiâs watching you like youâre a kid experiencing big feelings.
âI felt like a home wrecker.â You sniff. âBut apparently Iâm actually notâŠbecause it was your idea, well only Art, not Patrick, and Iâitâs all just fucking with my head.â
Tashi swallows. âI honestly thought youâd be relieved to find out.â
She looks at the frown on your face, takes in the way your plump bottom lip is jutting out. She reaches for your hand. âWeâve never really been the best at communicating. Me and Art. For the past year or so, weâve gotten better at talking to each other, being honest about what we want, but weâre still working on doing that with other people I guess.â You let her thumb rub the back of your hand before you gently pull away.Â
You grab your mug again. The handle is cold to the touch.Â
âI promise we didnât mean to fuck with you. Honestly, I think Art really likes you.â She offers you a small smile.
You look into your mug trying to still your reaction. You donât care.Â
Tashiâs gaze feels heavy on the side of your face as you feel her watching your expression. You start to fiddle with your watch. Checking for the time. Except your watch is too busy displaying your increased heart rate to offer the time.Â
You sigh.Â
She reaches out to you again, but this time she brings her hand up to your face, moving the curls falling down over your eyes. You let her nimble fingers caress your cheekbone before trailing down to your chin, guiding you to look at her.Â
She gives you a steady, knowing smile. âYou fell for him didnât you?âÂ
Your cheeks go ablaze, and you try to look away from her.Â
âHey.â She grasps your chin in a firm, but gentle hold. âItâs okay.â She nods as if itâll telepathically make you agree.Â
You clear your throat. âI know you say that, but this is all new to me.â Your voice is slightly wobbly and you think you might cry. âIâI didnât think itâd happen but it did. I thought I could get him out of my system but now,â you inhale and press two fingers against your neck, subconsciously trying to self-soothe. âNow, itâs likeâitâs like I canât stop.â Your voice comes out almost like a whisper. Like youâre afraid to admit the truth.Â
And, really, you are afraid. Youâre fucking terrified.Â
Youâre scared to fall in love with a man who already has oneâtwo people in his life that heâs in love with. The last time you entrusted a man with your love, he was only meant to love you, and he couldnât even give you that.Â
What if you realize youâre absolutely enamored by Art Donaldson and he realizes the same thing Chris did? That thereâs something about you that makes you unworthy of love. That the depth of you is as deep as your cunt goes and thatâs it.Â
What if he realizes that he already has what he needs in Tashi, even Patrick? What if they realize they actually arenât willing to share?
You apparently voice the last bit aloud.
Tashi tilts her head, some of her strands have fallen loose again and she wears the prettiest pout on her lips. âDo you want me to prove it to you?âÂ
You gulp when her hand presses into your thigh, and she brings her face impossibly close to yours, forcing you to hold her gaze. âYou want me to prove that Iâm okay with it?â Her eyes flit between each one of yours with a level of seriousness youâd expect from someone like her.Â
Her expression demands an answer, and so, you give a faint nod, transfixed on the woman in front of you.Â
You gasp when you feel her mouth on yours.Â
You learn that Tashi tastes sweet when she has her tongue in your mouth. You think you can taste the tartness of the lemon sheâd sucked on earlier. Itâs good, and you realize youâre fucked because you really like kissing her.Â
Her tongue twirling around yours has you panting quietly, and you keen when you feel her manicured nails press into the nape of your neck. You havenât kissed a woman since your last girlfriend in college, and you find you miss it. Something about it feels like drinking sweet tea on a hot summer day. Climbing into cool sheets at night when youâre bone tired. Or the feeling you get when you discover the song that youâre going to replay for the next week.Â
It also makes you feel absurdly wet.Â
The two of you work up a rhythm of pulling away for a breath before coming back together like magnets, letting your foreheads gently press together as you breathe deeply, thumbs caressing skin, eyelids fluttering.Â
Your tongue is sweeping across Tashiâs lip, on a path to enter her mouth again, when you hear someone clear their throat.Â
Thereâs an audible smack as you yank yourself from Tashi, eyes flying to the doorway of their sunroom.Â
Art is standing there staring at you, gaze shifting from your face to the hand you still have placed on his wifeâs neck. His jaw is clenched, and his bulge is painfully evident in his pants.Â
a/n: I've been waiting for this since the first post. Let me know how you feel about the reveal <3 as always, my asks are open!
alyson dubey for id japan, photos by josh wilks
God wouldnât have put a dream so big in your heart and soul if it wasnât achievable.