Like Me? (Pregame! Shuichi X Self-Aware! Reader)

Like Me? (Pregame! Shuichi x Self-Aware! Reader)

Tw: bullying, self-aware reader, mentions of s*ic*de attempts, implications of violence, foreshadowing, y*nd*r*, manipulation, stick to the plan, unreliable narrator, false narrative,

Word Count: 2213

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"So you love me....you really love me..."

Kagehara's face seemed to twist into a look of happiness with a mix of something else you couldn't really identify. He was shaking and trying so hard to keep himself in one piece as he accepted your confession. You often imagine him with little hearts in those slate grey eyes of his, as cliché as that might sound. Those eyes that you rarely had the chance to get a good look at...which were staring back at you with a look of pure admiration. Something you were used to getting from him by now.

That look fills you with a sense of guilt. You know it's way too late to back out of this now. It's done, game over, you said it out loud and now you have to deal with whatever happens next. You knew that if he did stumble upon the truth that he'd be somewhat hurt, but forgiving. You wouldn't leave him alone after all, so why would he hold a grudge? Why would he ever even think about hating someone so nice to him? To go so far in order to make him happy, you, his friend, role model, his god partner. He'd want to move past it, you know it very well by now. His every move is predictable when he's right in front of you. At least, that's what you thought. He's...full of surprises.

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Your first impression of him, he was...well...off-putting. He looked sick when you first met him, despite not getting to see his entire face half the time. You noted his extremely pale skin which contrasted with the blue he used to dye his hair, later noticing growing dark circles under his eyes as well as some other worrying things.

You almost felt like you were doing something wrong, following him around like this. You knew on some level it was rude to even stare for this long, but something was definitely wrong with him. You could see it in the way he moved. He needed help. He needed your help. Whether or not it was actually your place to help him wasn't your problem. You weren't just going to stand there and watch him waste away.

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He never seemed to be able to get out much more than a "hello" before someone started talking over him outside of class. He was almost shaking in your presence when you worked with him on projects. He'd stutter on his words during class, showed a sheer lack of confidence in his body language, and had very few friends. An overall word you'd use to describe him: meek.

You noticed that he didn't seem to eat when lunch came around, he would just leave the classroom in a hurry. By that time you lost him completely, he always ran off somewhere most likely to hide. He didn't seem to like being around so many people at one time. The one time you tried looking for him you found him in the back of the school's library with his nose in a book, taking his eyes off of his book only to scan his surroundings for a few moments. You thought he spotted you since he made a face, but he went back to his book shortly after. Why were you even doing this to yourself? You two aren't even friends yet...

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His weight was off for a guy his age, it was wayyy off. You figured that he was neglecting to take care of himself, which was more or less proved to be true the countless times he "fell asleep" passed out in class. His loosely fitting uniform didn't help relieve that suspicion.

You started bringing him something to eat everyday after your attempts of making friends with him. You lied and told him you simply made too much for yourself and thought he might like it. You almost had to force him to take it. He didn't eat it while you were there looking at him. As soon as you left the room though, you heard the familiar "tink" of the lunch box opening. You peaked in just to make sure he didn't just throw it away, but no, he was eating it. Rather....quickly you noticed. That...didn't help you feel much better.

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He was being gossiped about on a daily basis due to his disheveled appearance before you started begging him to just eat something bringing him lunch everyday. It never seemed to help him that he was getting a little better, as these petty classmates of yours always made up lies to hurt him. It was never fair, not for him. You had seen him try to return a girl's bag, and the next day there was a new rumor that he was following her around like some creepy stalker. That rumor seemed to stick to him due to his timid behaviors that others mistook for being creepy.

A lot of the nice things you saw him doing were twisted into some nasty rumors. Despite the rumors he still tried his best to do nice things for the people around him, even if they didn't appreciate it or outwardly ignored him. Over and over you watched him try to please other people just so they'd see him on the same level as them. You pulled him away from that cycle before it ended up breaking him.

He never did anything really weird... Not at first. The longer that you knew him the more comfortable he got with talking about things he liked with you. He was obsessed with a murder-mystery show called Danganronpa. Seemingly unaffected by the amount of gore and blood you know the show had. He wanted to audition himself, talking about his death as if it were something to look forward to. When he went onto one of his rants about auditioning, you tried to change the subject to his favorite characters instead. You were doing it in an attempt to discourage him, but he never seemed to catch the hint. Other than that, he was sweet.

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You saw him be shoved around on a few occasions, it was never anything too brutal in public. You never attempted to follow him home, so you wouldn't know that he gets jumped pretty often. Being his friend, he would sometimes come to you for help patching up some of the wounds. You didn't make the same mistake twice.

Everything was hitting him rather hard, you had just no idea how he was able to manage it for so long. You found out soon enough that he wasn't.

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The times his sleeves would roll down you would notice what you first thought were scratches raking down his arms. The first time you looked past it, though the second time you actually looked instead of thinking he was fine. Old and new alike adorned him, some of which you had to get closer to see. He caught onto what you were doing and quickly pulled his sleeve back down before you could see the old bruises accompanying them. He was too slow with his reflexes though, and your face dropped.

He didn't look you straight in the eyes. Or rather, he couldn't.

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"Did you....?"

"A-ah... Y/N... What are you-?"

You pulled his sleeve up again despite his minor protest.

"I told you I was going to be here for you...so why would you....?"

"I...I'm s-sorry..." He still wouldn't look you in the eyes, so you took his chin into your hand and made him look at you.

"You're going to be ok. Please believe me."

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You didn't have the heart to start telling him how to live his life, but you weren't about to let this continue. You had a plan. Why didn't you stick with it.....?

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He started following you around school not so soon afterwards, not to bother you intentionally, but somehow becoming your second shadow. It felt as if every time you turned around he'd be there, sneaking peeks of you around the corner of the hallway, or when he was feeling bold, almost stepping on your heels. At first, you thought it was a little creepy, as he never said much of anything to you while trailing behind. You had the notion to tell him to stop following you around. Then you would remember who he is, your friend. Your lonely, sweet friend that only wanted to be a little closer to you.

And then you remembered that just a short while ago you were doing the exact same thing to him. It wouldn't be fair to tell him to leave you alone when you more or less stalked him yourself. He'd already been hurt so much already, you weren't going to break his little heart by abandoning him.

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All of that...lead you to this.

He was already in tears when you went to hug him. You weren't expecting that kind of reaction from getting a love confession, but you were happy to help him calm down a little. His grip was rather tight despite the lack of strength he really had.

He's still working on gaining that back so he could save you one day like you did him.

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"You don't have to cry, it's not like I'm going anywhere."

"I'm just so happy..."

This wasn't a part of the plan, and yet, you feel somewhat relieved. He's so...sweet, you couldn't just let someone who didn't treat him right grab ahold of him. You tell yourself this was the only way, that telling the consoler wouldn't have helped him, that being away from you wouldn't have helped him. In some ways, you were right. He clung onto you much more than he did his other friends, like being away from you would kill him. You wonder just what would have happened had you stuck with the plan.

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It was a tad bit annoying that his tears were choosing to soak into your shirt, but you can bear it. As long as he's happy, he can take as long as he needs to recover from this. Bouncing back has always been a difficulty for him, especially for negative events, as they always seem to play on rewind every time you leave him alone for the night/day. He hates being left alone, you learned that very quickly.

You don't say no to him. You don't even try.

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If anything, you probably should've expected this. Shuichi's social anxiety always kept him from making real friends. The friends he does have are completely used to his behaviors by now. Being close to him is actually a lot more difficult to achieve than others believe it to be. Getting him to look you in the eyes instead of hiding behind that hat of his, being the hardest thing to coax him into doing himself. He was a lesson in patience, you would never bother spending so much time on anyone else.

He's so sweet, how could you possibly not fall in love with him?

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You thought he was a little clingy just being a good friend of yours, now he's constantly trailing behind you like a lost puppy. You've got used to the outrageous amount of texts he sends you when you have to part ways to go home. The one time you forgot to tell him you were going to bed, he freaked out and showed up at your window to check up on you.

He snuck in without waking you up. He stayed the night. You woke up with him in your bed.

He's just so lonely without you. Can you blame him for it? Can you blame him for never wanting to be away from you when all you do is make him happier? You love him so much, don't you?

At this point, you start to realize that the reason why you hyper-focused on him wasn't because there was something wrong with him. There was something wrong with you.

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You actually looked it up. It explained it all, why you only followed him around like that, why you lied to so many people, why you hurt those people that hurt him...

He. Deserved. To. Be. Happy.

Now he's just looking at the display in front of him in shock. He dropped the groceries. He's looking at you, what you're holding. What you're doing. He found out. He wasn't supposed to be home this early, and now you're just frozen.

There's so much blood on your hands. He doesn't say a thing until he closes the door behind him.

With a smile, he says, "I'm glad to know it isn't just me."

With that, you knew it was fate. You make such a darling couple.

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Once more you check that tab you had opened on your computer, and for the final time, you acknowledged what you were.

You are a -

“Yandere? Hon you know those are only fictional right? A trope made up for stories, to make things more entertaining?” Shuichi had snuck up on you once again! You're going to have to put a bell on him or something, this is getting ridiculous.

“Yeah. I’m not so sure about that anymore.”

"We don't tell people what we are angel."

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