A Very Accurate And Timely Twitter Thread. 👌

hey

guess what

you’re so close to surviving 2018

you can make it

i’m so proud that you’re still here

keep going buddy

i love you

me, reaching into my dresser drawer for black pants: I hope this isn’t the pair with big holes worn in the inner thighs

Marie Kondo, gently over my shoulder: why is a pair of pants you find unwearable still in your dresser drawer

me: oh shit that’s right!! The dresser is for clothes that under some circumstance I might conceivably wear!!

Marie Kondo, beaming proudly: Yes, that’s correct!! These pants must have been your favorites. How wonderful that they were so comfortable and practical that you wore them out. But now since they no longer function as pants, you should move them from the drawer where you keep your functioning pants!

me: Yes thanks I got it they’re in the fabric basket now

Marie Kondo, fading back into the darkness: I love what you’ve done with the kitchen!!

So whats up guys

The second she was born I had to be a good mother, because otherwise she would turn into a serial killer, and no mother wants that for her child. After all, killing is my job.

your hands, i want to hold them.

my friend is doing her math and I heard her whisper "why are there letters"

today I woke up and wanted to go home before I even got to school