Latest Posts by mary-in - Page 5
ASOIAF POVs as Onion Headlines:
Ned:
-Somebody's Got to Save This Country From Certain Doom, And Let's Face It, That Person Is Me
Jon
-Area Man Expected To Work With These Incompetents
Daenerys
-Guests Forced To Pretend Wedding A Good Thing
Tyrion
-Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet
Cersei
-I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I'll Fuck My Way Out
Catelyn
-Why Can't This Family Ever Have A Funkin' Good Time?
Sansa
-Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure
Bran:
-Nation Impressed By Feats Of Very Strong Little Boy
Arya
-Study Finds Expressing Anger In Unhealthy Ways Incredibly Satisfying
Brienne and Jamie
-Relationship Definitly Hurtling Towards Something
Davos
-Employee Wishes He Had Enough Job Security To Voice Opinion
Samwell
-I'm Tired Of Constant Near Death Experiences
Theon
-Man Who Thought He'd Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn't Even Know He Still Had
Victarion
-Area Man Just In Bad Mood Because He’s Tired And An Awful Human Being
Aereon
-True Courage Is Knowing You’re Wrong But Refusing To Admit It
Asha
-Area Women Planning To Fuck Up The Patriarchy Or Die Trying
Arrianne and Arys
-Relationship Not A Power Struggle, Woman Who's Winning Reports
Quentin
-If Only I'd Listened To Literally Anyone
Baristan
-Unclear Whether Grandpa Having Good Time
Jon Con
-Prodigal Asshole Returns
Melisandre
-Cult Leader Pretty Cool, Actually.
what asoiaf characters would buy from the thrift store
Sansa
Arya
Melisandre
Euron
Jaime
Littlefinger
Rickon
Jon Connington
Tyrion
Brienne
“This is Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones! This is her motherfucking feminine side!” - gwendoline christie getting quite the introduction at pat mcgrath’s mothership ball in nyc ( x )
911 calls from Jaime Lannister: Human Disaster
Jaime: 911? Yeah, my sister-in-law is going into labor.
911 operator: Is this her first child?
Jaime: No, this is her brother-in-law!
911 operator: *hysterically laughing*
~
911 operator: This is 911, what’s your emergency?
Jaime: Is this the operator I spoke to yesterday?
911 operator: I’m sorry?
Jaime: I’m Jaime Lannister. The guy who’s sister was in labor.
911 operator: Oh, yes sir. That was me.
Jaime: You laughed.
911 operator: I did. That was incredibly insensitive. I’m so sorry.
Jaime: What’s your name?
911 operator: Are you going to report me?
Jaime: No. I’m gonna ask you on a date.
911 operator: Absolutely not.
Jaime: Why?
911 operator: We don’t even know each other!
Jaime: Isn’t that the whole point of a date? To get to know each other?
911 operator: I’m hanging up now, Sir.
Jaime: Wait! Can you just tell me your name, please?
911 operator:...
911 operator: It’s Brienne.
Jaime, smiling: Goodbye, Brienne.
~
Jaime: 911? My niece is going to prom.
Brienne: Mr. Lannister, is- is that you?
Jaime: She’s only 16!
Brienne: *sighs* That’s usually when they go, Sir.
Jaime: I need a police officer here.
Brienne: You have an actual problem, Sir?
Jaime: Yes I have a problem! Somebody has to tell her she can’t go! And it’s not gonna be me!
Brienne: Sir...
Jaime: What would you do? How would you stop her?
Brienne, through gritted teeth: I wouldn’t. Let her go to the damn prom and quit being a jackass about it!
Brienne: I’m sorry. That was rude.
Jaime: No. You’re right. I like you Brienne.
Brienne: Goodbye, Sir.
~
Jaime: 911? I accidentally stepped on my dogs tail and I need to be arrested.
Brienne: *sighs* Mr. Lannister, you have got to stop this.
Brienne: I’m hanging up now. Tell your dog you’re sorry and give it a treat.
Jaime: Thanks, Brienne! I’ll talk to you tomorrow!
Brienne: Please don’t.
~
Brienne: This is 911, what’s your emergency?
Jaime: Good morning, Brienne!
Brienne: Mr. Lannister you have to stop-
Jaime: I’m pretty sure it’s a real emergency this time!
Brienne: How sure?
Jaime, hesitantly: 12%
Brienne: Goodbye, Mr. Lannister.
~
Brienne: This is 911, what’s your emergency?
Jaime: How’s your day going, Brienne?
Brienne: You know you can be arrested for this?
Jaime: For what?
Brienne: Making fake 911 calls.
Jaime: They’re not fake!
Brienne: They are.
Jaime: I say they’re not, and I’m the victim here!
Brienne: You’re not! You’ve never been the victim! The closest we got was when your sister-in-law was in labor.
Jaime: Hmmmm. Yeah, that’s pretty accurate.
Brienne: I have to go now.
Jaime: Are you gonna have me arrested?
Brienne: Are you gonna call me again?
Jaime: For sure.
Brienne: Goodbye, Mr. Lannister.
Jaime: Jaime. Call me Jaime, Brienne.
Brienne, softly: Goodbye, Jaime.
~
Brienne: This is 911, what’s your emergency?
Jaime: Hello, Brienne.
Brienne: Dear gods.
Jaime: Wait! Don’t hang up! Would you like to go on a date with me?
Brienne: *sighing* Not this again.
Jaime: Just one date! And if you don’t like me, I’ll leave you alone. I promise.
Brienne: Are you serious?
Jaime: Serious as a heart attack! Haha get it?
Brienne, rolling her eyes: Yeah, I get it.
Jaime: So?
Brienne: You’re not going to like me.
Jaime: Oh, I like you already. Very much.
Brienne, quietly: One date. That’s it.
Jaime: That won’t be it though, Brienne.
Brienne: Excuse me?
Jaime: I’m going to make you fall in love with me.
Brienne: I doubt that.
Jaime: Have you ever known a man to be so persistent?
Brienne: I should have had you arrested.
Jaime: But you didn’t. See, you like me already.
Jaime: I’ll call you tomorrow.
Brienne: Wait! Let me give you my number!
Jaime: I already have it.
Brienne: Not 911, you idiot!
Jaime: But it’s our thing.
Brienne: It’s really not.
Jaime: It is. Goodbye, Brienne.
Brienne, laughing: Goodbye, Jaime.
*puts down Jonerys and picks up Jonmund, Jonsa, and Danyara*
Yara: *sees a blonde do something stupid* Ha. What an idiot.
*realizes it’s Daenerys.*
Yara: FUCK THAT’S MY IDIOT!
I just want to start the Pride Month with the best relationships in GoT.
Dany’s mistake wasn’t burning King’s Landing, her mistake was not marrying Yara Greyjoy when she had the chance.
Margaery: Sansa I’m cold :(
Sansa: here *covers with furs*
Yara: Dany, I’m coLD
Daenerys: dracarys.
someone said danyara meets sansaery here it is
Asha Greyjoy : *breathes*
Me:
New meme format?
**EDIT** I didn't expect this to take off like it did! Template is in the notes!!!
Me and my otps
Sooo I made this tik tok trend on TLC characters cause you know im addicted to them 😍😙🦾✨
Cress: I’m pretty sure that’s illegal, Thorne.
Thorne: I’m pretty sure I’m a criminal, Cress.
the more art i do the more inconsistent i get. here tho! one of my forst tlc posts in my own drawings 😈
@greenalmond @deprivedmusicaljunkie @gingerale2017
Kai: I'm not gonna ask Cinder. I don't need that kind of rejection.
Thorne: Why won’t it let me use ‘cress’ as my password??
Cinder: Cress is too short for a password.
Thorne: Cress is fine the way she is, don’t be rude
Cinder:
Cinder: How are we friends
The Lunar Chronicles mood boards 🌌🤍✨
Cress: Hey guys!... Why are all if you standing on chairs? Are you playing a game?
Thorne: Yeah we're playing "we saw a really big spider and we don't know were it went"
Cress: [scrambles onto a chair]
Arya does not want to be a Lady. She wants swords and adventure.
Arya does not hate Sansa. She says so herself.
In winter they will protect each other. Yes, Arya will protect Sansa if needed be, and Sansa will protect her.
They won’t fight a war amongst themselves.
Athos: What did I tell you about lying?
Porthos: [sighs] It only works on d'Artagnan
Treville: I hate seeing you like this
Richelieu: Like what?
Treville: In person
Porthos: So what's your plan?
Aramis: What's my what?
Porthos:
Porthos: We're gonna die
Porthos, preparing a school play: Athos, you’ll play the role of my father
Athos: What?! I don't want to be your father!
Porthos: Great! You already know your lines
Porthos, tied up: Personally, I blame you
Aramis, tied up next to him: How can it possibly be my fault?
Porthos: Because otherwise it would be my fault. And that can't be right
Porthos: Seriously that’s like the most foolish and the most idiotic idea ever!
Aramis: So are we doing it?
Porthos: Absolutely! Without a doubt!
Athos: YOU SLEPT WITH THE QUEEN!
Aramis: Let me just say: From the bottom of my heart...
Athos:
Aramis:
Athos:
Aramis: ...my bad
Pre Series
Aramis: Hey, what's your name?
Athos: Don't talk to me
Aramis: Sounds exotic, I'm Aramis
Treville: Congratulations. You three have just won gold, silver, and bronze in the Moron's Olympics
Athos:
Porthos:
Aramis:
Aramis: Who won the gold?