Latest Posts by marylikeslemons - Page 2

i hate when a coworker brings up harry potter because you just have to start beating them and keep beating them and beating them and attacking them and mauling them and it's really tiring to do twice a day

I dreamed the Pope announced a new deadly sin called 'sluttony' and everybody was really excited to try it.

Let’s fly with mama!

Yeah you could say I’m doing numbers on tumblr. And that numbers? One

Oh.

We're at "traffic tickets are justification for disappearing people off the street and sending them to death camps with no due process" levels of fascism now.

Okay yeah we're like fucked, fucked.

Two boys talked on the playground about who was stronger: a kitten or a puppy. "For the sake of fairness, let's say they're both the size of a pea," one boy said. "Agreed," said the other boy. "It's only fair."

Let’s sleep with mama

When you are unemployed, mysterious voices will tell you to "become a youtuber" but you must remind yourself that it's probably the amulet talking. The amulet you found last week, near the park. It has given you good advice so far, but there is always a line that you shouldn't cross.

my bridge is so dark and scary if you wantto cross it you are going to need to answer my questions three. one are you mad at me

i love this "with mama" meme. mm yes give me more baby animals with mmama.

Putting some sort of bra on a mermaid is equivalent to docking a doberman pinscher or clipping a birds wings

x

let’s crave that mineral with mama

sorry your boyfriend was just so sweet and bruised and mushy we made him into a bananas bread

let's frolick with mama

"women are always like—"

"men are always like—"

shut up shut up shut up shut up shutupshutupshutupsHUT UP 🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄 gender essentialism-hating herd of cows running you over

I was trying to find out if Kermit was eligible to be pope and I found a blog that says he's the perfect example of a catholic priest

internet politics and real-world politics have gotten so separated, and pretty soon all this internet weirdness is gonna come crashing into real life and politicians are gonna start throwing around words like “SJW” and “anime communist” and “dark enlightenment” and it’s just gonna be the most ridiculous fucking thing