masteroftheuniverseandeverything - it’s me, i’m bitches
it’s me, i’m bitches

i truly am The AroAce

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Latest Posts by masteroftheuniverseandeverything - Page 3

imagine s3 geralt getting his ass kicked then he gets knocked out and he wakes up to the people who just kicked his ass fighting someone else (there are at least six of them)

and theyre at a distance and his vision is still blurred so he cant see much, he just sees blood flying and hears grunts and cries of pain and cant exactly tell whos winning

then he sits up right when its down to two people and he can finally see when one of those people stabs the other in the neck with a dagger and

its jaskier.

jaskier.

and jaskier rushes over to him and the man barely has blood on him, as if he'd ever let his expensive clothes get permanently stained, and starts untying geralt and asking if hes okay and geralts looking all bewildered and jaskier notices and hes like

"what? did you think i wouldn't benefit from all those training sessions you forced me through?" jaskier asks, completely nonchalant, barely out of breath like he didn't just take down half a dozen men. "thank you for that by the way, really came in handy"

and geralt realizes in that moment

his best friend is insane

*23 year old Marinette and Chloe at a bar in Gotham*

Marinette, straight up vibing when she spots Jason: Chloe, Chloe he is so pretty what do I do?

Chloe, being viciously shaken by the arm by Marinette looking over at Jason: Do you mean tall, dark, and scary? We avoid him

Marinette practically vibrating: No, He is hot. He is very much so attractive. I'm gonna go shoot my shot

Chloe, pulling Marinette back by her ponytail: Oh no you don't. He would crush you like a bug

Marinette, glaring at Chloe: oh I wish he would. Preferably with his thighs

Chloe, completely done: You have issues Mar. You have issues.

Marinette, freeing her hair from Chloe: Hopefully they are issues he likes, now let go I need to go seduce him

Roy, who had been sent to get them drinks and was watching Marinette thirst over Jason: *Snort*

Chloe, who has been waiting for an excuse to throw hands with somebody: Whats so funny, Carrots?

Roy, shakes his head and turns to Jason: Hey Jay! Help me carry these back to the table?

*Jason looks over and sees Roy pointing at a very red girl staring at him before she sprints towards the bathroom, pulling a blonde with her*

Jason: What was that about?

Roy, walking back to the table: A little miss somebody has a crush on you. She was going to shoot her shot but her friend thought you were bad news. Seems like it was part of the appeal to her though.

Jason, now looking towards the bathroom in hopes of seeing her: Is that so? Was it the blonde or the one with freckles?

Roy, smirking at Jason: How did you notice her freckles? Were you staring?

*Jason shoves Roy, blushing as he walks to the bathrooms*

Roy, shouting after him: That's it buddy! Follow your dreams! She's just behind that door!

*Jason does not return.*

You’re really going to tell me that Alfred didn’t immediate slaughter the Joker for what he did to Jason???

Dude was into some spy shit

He could totally do it

Fuck Batman.

Alfred’s in charge


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The list of people who know that Robin 2 is now Red Hood is small but the Riddler is one of them and I’ll explain why

12 year old Jason as Robin: Hey Riddler! How do you confuse an idiot?

Riddler: How?

Jason: Bicycle

Riddler: That doesn’t make any sense

Jason: I guess we found the idiot then

Riddler: …

Riddler: When you die, I won’t send flowers to the funeral

Jason: You better check my grave yourself to make sure I’m really gone

~years later~

Red Hood: Hey Riddler

Red Hood: Looks like someone forgot to check my grave

Okay, so I feel like there could be a situation where Percy’s mortal friends (come on, he has at least one or two) end up getting dragged into godly matters by mistake and so they learn Percy is a demigod. Naturally, this is very shocking for them. Well. One of them. The other is pretty chill about it.

At any rate, I'm just picturing them somehow on Olympus and then you get an interaction like:

Friend 1: wait so you're part GOD?!

Percy: uhhh, well-

Friend 2: that explains the weird cursing. Who says ‘Holy Hera’?

Friend 1: Like a GOD?

Percy: *awkward smile*

Friend 2: which god?

Friend 1: A GOD?! Is it a super powerful god?

Percy: oh. uh-

Friend 1: Well?!?!

Percy, looking at Poseidon but also trying to be humble af: um. He’s alright...

Poseidon:

Percy: I mean, he is- like, powerful. Obviously. Being a god and all.

Friend 2: is he more powerful than the average god?

Percy: ummmmm what even is the average god?

Friend 1: omg that makes him sound powerful. Are you a powerful god’s kid?

Percy: no! I mean- sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean that! I meant- he’s, like, uh- well. Okay. Look. He...he is a sea god. So. There's that.

Friend 1: HE IS THE SEA GOD?!?!

Percy: there are actually lots of sea gods!

Friend 2: but is he the one everyone talks about?

Percy: Triton from the little mermaid?

Friend 2: dude

Percy: I'm really trying here. Uh, a little help?

Poseidon: no

Percy:.....that’s fair.

Friend 2: just tell us if your dad is mega powerful

Percy: Fine. Yes. He is. Happy?

Friend 1: AH! Amazing! Are you powerful then?! Have you ever fought a god?

Percy: look, technically-

Friend 2: did you win?

Percy, looking at Ares: Stop. Asking. Questions.

Friend 1: omfg you kicked a god’s ass didn't you?? Who was it?

Percy: …..pls.

Annabeth: it was Ares

Friend 1:

Friend 2:

Friend 1: THE GOD OF WAR?!

I think we should write unnecessary sequels to public-domain classics.

I wanna read Dracula 2: Sherlock Holmes and the Curse of Dracula's Ghost. I wanna read Pride and Prejudice 2: Elizabeth Has a Gun.

So late the party has left.

Ok, I’ve had this submission from @starmage2 for ever and just got around to it now.

As a heads up I’ve changed the ‘Alien invasion ’ to Gorilla Grodd invasion instead. Same general thing though.

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Paris was not a place the flash visited often or even with purpose. A city of calm and peace that was unaffected by the world’s crazies, maniacs and supervillians. There has never been a reason to be in Paris, for anyone from the league. Aside from maybe taking a superspeed shortcut or flying well above the city to make time to ones real destination.

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Marinette The Perfect Daughter In Law: A Prompt

[ I’ve seen a few ‘everyone loves Marinette AU’s’ and a couple Marvel DC ‘all the mentors want THEIR kid to end up with Marinette AU’s’ and well frankly! I felt inspired! So I present to you my new prompt / AU thing! In which all the most powerful / rich / popular people in Paris decide to play matchmaker… ]

It starts when Adrien and Kagami have a less than AMICABLE break up according to their parents and the media anyway in reality it was a really REALLY dull break up. The pair have been ‘dating’ (using each other as an excuse to go out and experience normal teenage stuff) since they were 15. Now at 17 soon to be 18 the pair decided to publicly break up in order to pursue other people and interests. The problem is they never told their parents the truth so both Gabriel and Kagami’s mother Tomeo feel protective and concerned about what must surely be an upsetting first heartbreak for their child. And okay maybe both parents take that out on each other and both get a bit defensive and protective. And MAYBE it ends with Tomeo vowing to get revenge for her daughter. Enter, Marinette. Up and coming fashion designer for the rich and famous! She’s single, talented, and as far as Tomeo knows Gabriel is interested in the girl for her talent. So what better revenge could exist but having Marinette take an interest in Kagami!

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Marinette Vs Santa: The Rematch

Seven people requested a continuation of the Part 1 and I just gave in. I hope you like. I’m not big on writing sequels. So please let me know if its good.

When the news broke that billionaire Bruce Wayne’s daughter Marinette was dating the Roy, the son of billionaire Oliver Queen, it was like the world paused.

It was bigger than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Bigger than the royal wedding; both of them.

Bigger than the twilight love affair.

The Angel Marinette, the newfound princess of Gotham, dating the wayward Bad boy Roy, the prince of Star City.

Roy was handsome, really smart, funny, had a kickass attitude, played guitar and soccer, and loved animals; at least that’s what Jason told her Because Marinette had never met the guy.

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You had a Friend in Me

           I’M BACK!! Oh god its been two weeks since I posted a story. I missed you guys like crazy. Hopefully you like my newest piece. I went a… Unique direction. Enjoy!

 She didn’t stumble, fall, and break like they expected her to. There was no big meltdown or confrontation. No apologies. Or promises to do better. No, when nearly everyone in class made it clear they weren’t friends with Marinette anymore; nothing happened. They had accused her of being mean to Lila and a bully as the reasons they couldn’t be friends anymore and had expected the girl to defend herself at the very least.

           Marinette just shrugged, and that was it.

           Even when they asked her to resign from being class president, she easily stood up and said she quit.

           Most of the class, Alya, in particular wanted to be angry at her lack of reaction; shout and scream at the bluenette for seeming not to care about the severance of their friendships. But how could they?

           They knew it was their choice. They were mature enough to know that everyone reacted differently to things. And yelling at Marinette for not being emotional enough at the fact that they weren’t friends anymore just showed their own immaturity. And that would be like telling Marinette she won; and that wasn’t worth it.

           Besides, It was only September, they were sure Marinette would come crawling back to them soon.

           Marinette never did.

           On the outside, it didn’t look like much had changed with the class. While the class weren’t friends with Marinette, they still chose to be cordial. They still did assigned group projects with. Everyone doing their part. However, no one went out of their way to speak with the Bluenette. And she did the same and seemed content.

           Despite appearances, things had definitely changed in class. And it didn’t take long for everyone to realize it.

           The first was Alix’s birthday. Everyone had been so excited. Birthdays were always the best for Bustier’s class. The entire classroom would be decorated. There would be cake and balloons; a wonderful and thoughtful perfectly wrapped present.

           However, when the kids arrived that morning, it was too the same ordinary classroom as the day before.

           It was disappointing to say the least. The kids scrambled to try to throw something, anything together before Alix arrived. However, it was too late. Alix arrived not long after them, and seeing the smile fall from her face broke their hearts.

           No one knew what to say. Or how to explain why nothing was decorated. Why there was no cake and or gift. They sat awkwardly at their desks.

           It was only after Marinette arrived, just a few minutes before the bell rang, that they all got their answer.

           Marinette. Marinette had been the class president. The class president was responsible for any class birthday, trip, or fundraiser. She had always gone above and beyond. Unlike, Chloe, the previous class president, who only ever put in their bare minimum (and she made Sabrina do that); a cupcake, a balloon tied to their desk, and a card signed by the entire class.

           Marinette had been their friend so she always made sure to do her very best to celebrate. But she wasn’t class president anymore. And she wasn’t their friend. She wasn’t obligated to do anything.

           So she didn’t.

           And while the class had been meaning to, they never got around to electing a new class president to replace the one their forced out of office.

           It burned a little.

           Particularly, when the class realized they were hard pressed to find volunteer to assume the role. No one had that much time on their hands. No one wanted to be responsible for anything going wrong. Or not living up to expectations.

           Friend or not, they could admit Marinette was a hard act to follow.

           Unfortunately, to prevent Chloe from taking the job again, Alya was forced to step up.

           It didn’t take long to realize that planning for fundraisers and dances and parties was equivalent to the work of seven people. She didn’t know how Marinette handled it so well.

           School trips, once amazing and carefully planned to the last detail, now were boring and hastily put together; the best one was a trip to the museum, mostly because they got to have ice cream after.

           Fresh baked sweets on big tests days were gone too. It had become a tradition that on days of major, study hard and cram for weeks prior, tests that treats were brought in the morning. It lightened the tension of the day, and just made everyone feel better.

           The morning of a huge math test that had caused a few kids to hyperventilate the day before and of; delicious goods were nowhere to be found.

           When the bell rang, Kim had quickly asked Bustier where the food was.

           To which the teacher replied, “Marinette always asked me if she could bring them in for her friends.”

           And that was all they needed to know.

           It sucked but it was something they could live without.

           Favors were the next thing they realized were gone.

           Before whenever they needed something; they would automatically go to Marinette for help. A babysitter, sweets, costumes, dresses, set design.

           Alya and Nino found themselves spending their date nights watching their young siblings together. Most of their friends refused to babysit. And the few that were willing were far too busy.

           Mylene found that the school play’s custom designed costumes were a thing of the past. So were the artfully decorated set designs.

           Alix had to make her own banners. So did Kim.

           Rose couldn’t just run to Marinette when she need a new fabulous dress. Marinette had always made it clear that she was willing to help out a friend whenever they asked her about costs.

           Then the favors they never realized they even got were gone.

           Discounts at the bakery were only for friends and family. Unfortunately that also meant the discount for their families were gone as well.

           Ladybug suddenly stopped giving Alya interviews. And when Alya asked why, the hero said she only did it because the reporter was Marinette’s friend. It hurt the Ladyblog badly.

           Someone coming to defend them whenever Chloe threw a tantrum and managing to calm the blond down. Even Alya found she wasn’t as much of match as thought, when the spoiled rotten girl was on rampage.

           This effect class morale dramatically. And it wasn’t before long that the class shifted to what it was like before Alya or Adrien came to school, with Chloe trying to declare dominance every other second. But this time, the other students were cowed like they used to be. No, they had seen Marinette standing up for herself and them for years. If she could do it, so could they. Sadly, they weren’t enough. With just the right amount of effort, Chloe could intimidate anyone.

           Adrien who was soon confused about why the friend safe haven had suddenly turned hostile

           Marinette just shook her head. Chloe asked (ordered) Marinette to come to her penthouse one October morning. The blonde had realized the dynamic in class had changed dramatically and wanted to seize the opportunity with an iron first; and she knew she couldn’t do that if Dupain-Cheng was still her number one enemy.

Chloe proceeded to lay down an offer of truce. Chloe and Marinette would leave each other alone, would stay out of each other’s way, and didn’t interfere with anything the other did unless it was school related so they absolutely had to. There would be no threats, stealing, lies, or intimidation from Chloe towards Marinette. In return, Marinette would let Chloe do her thing without trying to defend or save anyone.

As long as both did that, there would be peace.

Marinette agreed.

Thus Chloe’s reign for her symbolic iron throne began. The queen bee had no illusions of who was who. Marinette was a Stark. Chloe: a Lannister.  But Chloe was a smart lion. She had no problems letting the North be independent away from the rest of the kingdom. Chloe’s kingdom.

And much like show, there was no win or lose. When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground. And Chloe would win.

Lila was the first to feel to the effects. Chloe refused to have competition for Queen Bee. And the Italian girl became took Marinette’s place as her new number one target.

Lila soon learned that dealing with Marinette was one thing, dealing with Chloe was a whole different animal.  While Marinette fought for peace, Chloe was more than willing to rage war. And unlike Marinette, Chloe didn’t care what anyone thought about her. Lila could scream to the world about how much of a bully Chloe was but what did it matter. Everyone in class knew that already.

She couldn’t threaten Chloe like she did Marinette. In fact, the Chloe regularly threatened her. In front of the other students, and Bustier.

She couldn’t try to get Chloe expelled as Damocles was quick to bend to the blonde’s will.

Chloe regularly “Accidently” tripped Lila, ruined her homework, stole any projects she had, destroyed her phone one time, verbally ripped her to shreds in front of everyone and even worse in private. Chloe would play mean and outright nasty pranks that would leave Lila in tears. More than a few sets of clothes were destroyed. To make everything worse, the blond brat routinely made her look like a fool in front of Adrien. She even got her mother to mock the Agreste brand about their use of a lackluster model to the point where Gabriel fired her.

Nearly everything Lila had accused Marinette of doing, she found herself actually having to face from Chloe. Who would’ve thought the bluenette was doing her a favor by being all moral and self-righteous that it would draw the attention of the evil that was Chloe Bourgeois.

The truce happened one grey October Morning, Chloe officially ruled the class again by November. Lila was seriously considering changing schools.

No one had the time to fawn over her. And she certainly didn’t have time to amaze anyone with her stories. No she was too busy fending off Chloe’s attacks. And wondering why the brat kept referring to her as a Tyrell. Or Alya and Nino as Karstarks. And the rest of the class as Freys’.

One by one, each student realized they had lost something else. Something they actually really missed.

When the class picture was taken, Juleka had been just late and no one realized it. Rose had comforted her again. But no one was able to get the photographer to take another picture. At the end of the day, Juleka still felt really bad about it and had to fight the urge to call Marinette that night. Marinette was always willing to just listen no matter the time.

And it wasn’t long where the other students found themselves in similar situations that all ended with them really wanting to talk to Marinette.

Alya after a fight with her sister.

Rose after Prince Ali wrote to her that he would be ending communication.

Nino after a gig went terribly.

Kim after he lost one of his games.

Alix after she broke her watch…. Again.

Mylene after a fight with Ivan.

Ivan after he failed a math test.

Nathaniel after Marc decided to end their partnership.

Sure, they went to their other friends for comfort. But Marinette was different. When one of them went to any of the other students with a problem; it felt just like that. Them complaining about their problems and the others doing their best to cheer them up and offer solutions. At the end, they still felt like they were on their own; like it was still just their problem. With Marinette…

She always made them feel like they were on the same team. She cared like they were her problems too. And wasn’t going to stop until they were fixed. Marinette was someone they could just talk to without judgement or getting harsh opinions; no criticism. With her, they never felt like they were being judged; even when pointed out that it might, in fact, be their own fault.

They missed Marinette when they afraid or nervous. She’d always manage to calm them down, assure them, be their biggest supporter if need be. And her just being them made them feel better; like they stood more of a chance. She take their mind of things, get them to relax, smile, and by the time whatever it was that made them so terrified came up, they had already completely forgotten why they were anxious.

The strangest part was they even missed her when things were happy as well.

           When anything good happened, one of their first instincts was to call Marinette; scream their excitement. And listen to Marinette scream back just as happy as they were, despite that she was in no way affected.

           No; on the outside the class hadn’t changed much. Everyone still did their own thing. Homework was done. Tests were dealt with. Sure class trips weren’t as wonderful as they used to be. Birthdays only with store bought cupcakes and maybe some balloons. Everyone who started out as friends were still friends by the end of the years. It was just like anyone other class in the world.

           Except they were never like all other classes. They had always felt like they were special. Most kids hadn’t looked forward to school day but the students of Bustier’s class had. There had always been something new and wonderful to talk about; some adventure to go on. Now there was nothing. There was still life in the classroom; still laughter and fun. But it was like something took the spark that made it come alive.

           And it was hard to pretend otherwise.

           And they couldn’t really figure out why.

           One or Two (Rose and Nino) could admit, whenever they found themselves alone with their thoughts in class and looked around, that were was a hollowness to the classroom that had never existed before. It didn’t make sense. Everyone (minus Chloe) was still friendly with one another. They all still cared about each other. They were all still really good friends. Good but not as good as they used to be.

           They’d never be as good as they used to be again.

           The class for their end of year party had gone to the pool. They all had a blast. On their way home, they walked by the park and heard music and laughter. It didn’t take long to realize that there was a party happening.

“Happy Birthday, Marinette!” Caught their attention.

           From where they stood, just outside the party, the students and ex friends of Marinette could make out other students from different classes from their school.

           Aurore the creator of the new blog BugOut. There was Marc, Claude, Mireille, Ondine, Bridgette, the Ice King that was Felix Culpa, and a bunch of other students they never knew Marinette was friends with. Even Luka was there.

“I didn’t know it was Marinette’s birthday,” Adrien frowned.

           So did Alya. Mostly because it was her job to remember as class president. Partly because it was the first time she ever forgot her former (best) friend’s birthday. “It wasn’t on the list,” She gave a weak excuse.

“It looks like fun,” Juleka whispered.

           And it did. There was a live band, a feast of food, people laughing and dancing; it all looked so… Alive.

           Alix stuffed her hands in her pockets. Her throat clenched at the sight of the laughing bluenette who didn’t look like she had a care in the world. “Who knew Marinette had so many friends?”

           Nino glanced down, “She looks happy.”

           And Marinette did.

           She looked like the happiest girl in the world.

           But she always did.

           Even after they ended their friendships with her.

           It didn’t seem to both the bluenette. She kept being her positive and cheerful self, except they couldn’t bask in her sunlight anymore.

           They watched when Luka got on their makeshift stage with his guitar, “Marinette you are the most special person I’ve ever met. You’re kind, sweet, and way too thoughtful for your own good. Which is why we all wanted you to know…” he started playing his guitar. A familiar tune filled the air, all the party goers starts to sings.

“You’ve got a friend in me

You’ve got a friend in me

When the road looks rough ahead

And you’re miles and miles

From your nice warm bed

You just remember what your old pal said

Boy, you’ve got a friend in me

Yeah, you’ve got a friend in me”

           The song left a bad taste of Irony on their tongues.

           They thought they had left Marinette behind, somehow it had ended up being the opposite.

           They felt like forgotten toys.

Marinette Vs Santa

A quick Christmas drabble.

  How did Marinette find out she was adopted? Well… her little half-brother tried to kill her.

           Also, that’s how she found out her biological dad was Batman. Because… why not. As if her life wasn’t weird enough already.

           And to think Marinette had been secretly writing Santa every year since she was three to like nine asking for a sibling of her own. She didn’t think it would ever happen

           Then one day, on a cold December night, as Ladybug ran across rooftops to see as many of the Christmas decorations as possible. Suddenly every instinct she had told her to duck. And she did just narrowly avoided a sword to the throat.

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No, Bruce! You can’t Adopt her.

No, Bruce! You Can’t Adopt Her.

This isn’t salt, Cupcake. But I’m going to do a quick drabble of this anyway because it’s an awesome idea.

The suit was a deep dark red. Darker than it used to be from what they had seen saw from the previous news reports reviewed. Her mask was black. Her eyes a startling blue and her hair a shade just touch short of being as dark as night. The girl looked to be no older than thirteen or fourteen.

Somehow she had shown up on the scene just before any of the batfamily could and immediately solve the riddles, freed the innocent civilization, dismantle the bomb with rubber duck and a hair pin, dodged the trap, and was now fighting off the Riddler and his men.

And as they watched her kick the Riddler in the face and then yo-yo away, only to spin around and do it a second time, all the batkids knew they’d have to step in.

“You can’t adopt her, B-Man,” The Redhood pinched his nose.

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Ladybug in Smallville

           You can’t fix a broken heart, her grandmother told when Marinette was young and had ask why the older woman why she never remarried.

“You can forgive here,” Gina Dupain had pointed to her head. “And you can tell yourself every day that you forgive him, that all is well. And maybe you do. Maybe not right away, like you tell people but eventually… you do. You move on. You find some kind of peace. But that doesn’t mean your heart’s forgotten. Especially during the worst of it, when it’ll remind you every day just how much you’re still hurting.”

           The silver haired woman had look so dejected, so cynical compared to her usual chipper, charming self that it left the little girl stunned.

“Until one day, it doesn’t,” Gina continued. “And yet, your heart’s not the same. You’re not the same. No matter what you tell yourself. Sometimes, you’d swear it’s just a giant scar on your heart. Because at least that means it’s healed; beaten up, bruised, and permanently disfigured but healed.  Other days when you think too hard about it, and you are walking through memory lane; you can just barely admit the truth. That you can still feel every jagged edge, sharp angle still there from a shattered heart. And once on a very blue moon, you admit to yourself the truth; you can’t fix a broken heart. It’ll always be broken. Love has consequences.”

           She looked Marinette deep in the eyes, “The trick is learning to live with it. Learning that a broken heart doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.”

“Broken… but still good,” Marinette quoted Lilo and Stitch.

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Okay so I've been rereading a lot of Twilight fanfictions and I was just thinking of an AU so, here's my take on an AU!

A grunge/goth/punk Bella Swan comes waltzing onto Forks High School after getting off her motorcycle/or just a sick car (i’ll be honest here?? I don’t know motorcycles or cars, pfft. so let’s leave that up to your imagination) and everyone is like: “Ayo?? Cool girl?”

The Cullens hadn’t seen her yet so they’re just hearing about “The Chief’s daughter is pretty fire dudes” over and over again, and Jasper is buzzing with excitement from the school’s emotions, Alice and Emmett are curious but the little pixie vampire is more on Swan’s fashion sense while Emmett is just like “hm.. cooler than me?” Rosalie however is annoyed from hearing the same thing about a dumb human and Edward is getting a headache as well as a vampire can get.

(I completely forget how the films/books go so I think it’s lunch then biology? Oh well) So here comes Lunch where Bella is invited to Human Gang’s table and here comes Bella in all her glory, decked out with those black thick heel knee high boots with the buckles going up and down, you know what I mean? Her pants are the baggy kind, but not too baggy, of course they’re black too why not right? They’re sporting all sorts of chains and suspenders that are just hanging down on the sides. The pants are also kind of ripped and beneath those pants are fishnets? Maybe? Just an idea. Finally her shirt has some sort of red and black theme going on, but I’m imagining it’s either a band merch or those short sleeved red and black stripes. Her hair is probably going to remain brown too, but I could picture this Bella dyeing it some other color.

Eric (I think he was the one who invited her to the table?? Or was it one of the other people? Let’s just go with Eric this time lol) is like waving at her excitedly and she goes to sit with them and starts up conversation and this is where we start to know other things about this AU Bella:

IMO, this Bella likes to go by Swan or the scientific name Cygnus, which the others find weird but hey they’re weird too in their respective ways.

Swan doesn’t call Charlie, well, Charlie. She calls him dad, or father because this time around she kept in contact with Charlie throughout the years.

Swan has a backbone!!

Maybe she carries around a butterfly knife who knows.. (she totally does and she can do cool tricks with it.. maybe she has a collection?)

Swan is witty and can quip easily, she isn’t afraid to be affectionate. And yeah, while it’s cool to be a person with absolutely no flaws, she has them!! Swan can be pretty brutal without knowing and can become quick to anger. She isn’t really used to apologizing to others that’s not her mom (yeah we probably can agree that Renée cares about her daughter to some extent, but she probably also does some real crappy stuff that often leads Swan into apologizing to her instead of the other way around. Or something like that- maybe y’all understand what I’m saying?? pfft). Some other flaws too, use your imagination for those! You guys probably can come up with cooler stuff.

Charlie is supportive of his daughter of course he is and this Charlie does not let Swan do all of the household work!!

Charlie probably doesn’t know how to cook very well so Swan helps teach him to cook better (due to her mother probably using her as a doormat) and they take turns cooking. They also take turns buying groceries as well. (Let’s also point out in the book where Charlie congratulates Jacob for kissing Bella? Yeah if that happened this Charlie does not happen! He’ll get angry! And curse out Jacob!)

Anyways cue the Cullens walking in. Rosalie and Emmett walk in first, followed by Alice and Jasper, then Edward and out loud (at least just for Human Gang, we already know the vampires are going to hear this) Swan just goes, “Hey they look kind of weird- clothing wise. Why do they look so.. Fancy?” With a raised brow. [ Lauren responds with a snort, “you don’t look better yourself.” ] And then cues Jessica’s rant on the Cullens and introductions about them.

Edward is stiff as a board and is keeping his gaze on the table. “I can’t hear the new girl,” he told the mated couples, “and oh- her blood is stronger than the rest of them.” With a low groan he had his head in his hands. Before any of them could question him Alice had ushered him out of the Cafeteria before taking a seat with Jasper. It’s silent for a moment before she chirps up with: “Well, it seems like we’ll have a different school year!” With a bright grin.

Alice probably is admiring Swan’s style.

Jasper doesn't really have an opinion yet.

Rosalie and Emmett are getting amused by Swan’s constant teasing on Jessica’s crush on Edward (which also includes her insulting Edward [ “Dude! Look how he sat down?? He placed two fingers- from each hand mind you- on the table and then sat down. You like that? Who does that? He’s playing with a baby carrot too!” ] ).

Some other things is that Swan is probably chill with Jacob and pack (once figured out of course) and has a sibling like relationship, or just real good friends.

I hate the way the Cullens treat Bella, but Edward and Alice are especially despicable. What makes their leaving despicable to me (other than Edward destroying Bella’s already-nonexistent self esteem) was that they knew she wouldn’t do well, and they knew Victoria was out there. Sure, Edward could track her, but without Alice checking, she could have found Bella easy! Say Bella grows a backbone; what does she say when they crawl back to Forks?

On Bella's lack of anger on the Cullen's return to Forks and why the Cullens had decent reason to leave. Remember, in their defense, they did not know how Edward would handle the goodbye or just how dependent Bella was on them (when from their perspective they barely know the girl).

But onto your question.

The Set Up

Bella attempts suicide, Jake saves her, and Charlie is coincidentally at his good friend Harry Clearwater's funeral. Now, Bella was at a low so low that she committed suicide, almost on impulse, in the hopes she could see Edward Cullen's face.

She's not over this guy.

Had she been, the cliff jumping likely would not have happened and as a result Alice would not show up in Forks and the Cullens would not return. Edward might return on his own later to stalk her from the shadows like a dark protector, but that's a different story.

My point being, for your ask to work out (where the Cullens return so Bella can lecture them), we pretty much have to be in this timeline where Bella gets Super Ultra Character Development in the course of a few hours.

Jake gives her the pep talk of a life and Bella decides to live. The Cullens are never coming back, they left her to be eaten by vampires, and all she can do now is move forward with her life and try to live.

Then she blinks and Carlisle Cullen's car is in her driveway. Funny, how the moment she decides she's over them they suddenly show up.

Alice Shows Up

Turns out, it's not Carlisle, it's Alice. Bella who now remembers how to feel anger isn't sure how she feels about this. On the one hand, she's glad to see Alice. On the other hand, Alice has been ghosting her for months and of all the Cullens had to see how Bella has been doing.

Alice explains that it's all Edward's fault. You see, Bella, Edward told Alice to do it. Bella's... not really impressed with that.

On the one hand she's not sure if she wants Alice to leave (because then it means she really won't see the Cullens ever again, and despite her new outlook on life it's one thing to think it when they're already gone and another to actually do it herself) but on the other hand she's... very upset.

Between Bella's cool demeanor and Jacob being in the room the meeting is very awkward and very frosty. Bella and Alice eventually just stare at one another.

Alice tries to bring up Jake is a werewolf. Bella knows.

They stop talking after that.

The house gets the phone call, Jacob tells Edward that Charlie's at the funeral, and Alice gets her vision of all hell breaking loose. Alice needs to call in a favor.

And here's where Bella has to make a choice.

Choice A: LET THEM BURN

Alice tells Bella that they have to go to Volterra where the kings of the vampires live, as Edward is going to ask for assisted suicide, and if Edward sees Bella is alive he'll stop.

Alice doesn't come right out and say this is a death sentence for Bella but she does admit it's... dangerous.

Bella sits there and she thinks hard.

In this timeline, she says no.

She's a little confused on why Edward's committing suicide over this, given that she's effectively dead to him anyway, but what did he expect to happen? Bella's mortal, she's being hunted by vampires, she did almost drown today.

This is his choice and his survival shouldn't be dependent on whether Bella lives or not.

Especially since, in the process of saving Edward, Bella will very likely be murdered herself.

And Bella's tired. She's really, really, really tired.

Alice begs, points out that they're talking about life or death, that no matter how upset Bella is, if she does this, then Edward Cullen will die. However upset she is, surely Edward who she once loved so much isn't worthy of death.

True, Bella says, but Bella wants to live. Can Alice guarantee that if she goes to Italy?

Alice can't.

Alice desperately tries to concoct a backup plan. To get a hold of Carlisle to get a hold of the Volturi but as she foresaw, it doesn't work out. Edward is murdered for breaking the law and Bella never sees Alice nor any of the Cullens ever again.

Choice B: Bella Still Goes to Italy

Bella may be conflicted but Edward isn't deserving of death, especially not when (in a very round about way) it's her fault as she jumped off the cliff.

Bella goes to Italy with Alice, telling herself this will be the last time she sees any of them (as she did in canon, actually, Bella was convinced they'd all leave the moment this was done with).

Well, canon shenanigans happen, with Bella slightly less dazed at seeing Edward's beautiful non-hallucination face again. Bella, on meeting Aro, begins to realize that... something not good is happening.

On returning home from Forks, Edward begs Bella to take him back. She stalls.

If she says no, he'll leave, she knows that much now. If he leaves the entire family leaves, they have no other reason to stay. If he leaves then the Volturi will come for her and she'll either be their minion forever or they'll murder her.

If it's up to Caius, it'll probably be murder.

Bella asks to see Carlisle. Edward is very... displeased with this, but acquiesces (realizing he's on thin ice).

Bella asks Carlisle point blank what's to become of her. Carlisle admits that she has to become a vampire or die. The Volturi know about her, the best they can stall is a few months at best, and if she doesn't turn it's very likely Edward himself, maybe Carlisle, and maybe the entire coven will be murdered with her.

This is the price Bella pays for Edward having told her.

She never had a choice, doesn't even have one now for all she wants one. She and the Cullens are stuck together, bound by destiny, whether they like it or not.

There's no vote, there's no need for one, Bella tells Carlisle to turn her after graduation. She'll join the Cullens.

However, she's not going to like it and she'll make sure no one else likes it either. She refuses to take Edward back (certainly refuses to marry him) and instead resigns herself to her last few months as human (while Edward desperately tries to win her back, "BELLLLLLAAAAAA!")

The despair of rejection, of knowing what Bella's now becoming, and knowing it's all his fault, may drive Edward to Full Edward Madness where he mercy kills her. He may reattempt to kill himself by having Jacob do the honors this time (whether Jacob agrees or not flip a coin to decide). He may try to lay siege to the Volturi in order to free his lady love from her doomed fate. (All while the Cullens and the wolves have to deal with Victoria, of course).

Regardless, by the end of this, the coven will still be at seven members, between Edward and Bella only one will stay in the long term.

GoT characters as Twilight  characters

the similarities are astounding everyone. 

The Starks are obviously the Cullens. Bran is Alice. Jon is Edward on account of being a brooding emotional fuck. Sansa is Rosalie cause gotta slay those rapists like the queen she is. Ned is Carlisle: noble af, old & tired. Robb is Jasper, a military genius. Arya is Emmett cause both are peak jock™. Catlyn is Esme (sorry Cat…we know Esme is kinda bland, but she’s the only one that works).

Rickon is Bella. Very little personality, dies at a very inconvenient time. 

Dany is Renesmee. The Chosen One™. 

Jaime is Jacob. Hot and dumb, but will go to bat for you. Also when faced with “should I own up to my own secret” just starts getting naked. 

Cersei is Victoria. Gotta be on top and will literally slaughter you if you look at her wrong. Or kill her family. Either one. 

Which makes Joffrey…James. Heckling people for no reason and not in a nice way. 

So Robert B. is Laurent. Not the ultimate worst dude, but doesn’t do great things. Mainly because he won’t stop his horrible family members from doing horrible things *cough cough* Victoria/Cersei & James/Jeoffrey.

Lancel (pre-high sparrow) is Riley. Does anything for some dick and easily manipulated to do wrong.

Ramsay is Jane bc that bitch can really torture you. 

Myranda is Alec bc his powers aren’t as cool, but he’s gotta tag team in on that torture too.

Tyrion is Aro. Very calculated and will cut you to get his way. 

Littlefinger is Caius. Hides behind Aro like a facade but is really a lil bitch.

The entire Citadel is Marcus. Old white men. Irrelevant branch of power. The most unhelpful in basically all situations.

The Hound is Demetri. Just following orders, but really loves to catch people and watch them die.

The Mountain is Felix. Truly suicidal to challenge.

Melisandre is Heidi. Uses her body to get her and her allies what they want.  

Stannis is Sam. A true Alpha: strong leader, does what he believes is right even if it makes him unpopular. 

Shireen is Emily. Sweet summer child, but literally scarred for life.

Euron is Paul. Always mad and ready for a fight to the death in the mud. 

Brienne is Leah. Deserves everyone, gets no one due to the cruel world around her, but can beat anyones ass…especially the men that wronged her.

Poddy P is Seth bc baby cinnamon roll obviously.

Theon is Alistair. Runs away at the first sign of trouble on account of being severely traumatized and all.

Yara/Asha is Kate Denali. Electricity running through her veins like a bamf. 

The Sand Snakes are the Amazonian Vampires. Hot & cool af. 

Sam is Charlie. Learns The Truth™ (wights & white walkers & R+L). Becomes Actual Dad to everyone and Real Dad to little Sam. Always like “what in the god damn heck are we doing this is not normal”. 

No one in Twilight is good enough to be Margaery or Oberyn. 

Please add more as you see fit friends. 

best non canon ships in twilight

these are my personal favorite ships. if i rewrote twilight, these are the ships I’d include, as well as the little bit of plot i list to explain the ship.

bella x rosalie: obviously these two belong together and also rosalie is given actual character outside of “blonde bitch” in my rewrite. they have a baby but when it happens they’re ready for it and also no one imprints on it. they are perfect mothers

edward x emmett: in my version rosalie did save emmett, but he turned out to not Feel Like That for rosalie; however, he thought eddie boy was fine af, so they got together instead. rosalie spends a century by herself instead of edward (yes it’s sad but plot)

leah x angela: must i explain this one?? they meet via bella and jake’s friendship and they crush on each other for a long time but start dating by the third book

alice x jessica: HEAR ME OUT. jasper and alice have NO CHEMISTRY. they can’t be together. also alice loves to dress bella up and bella hates it. If alice had jessica to spoil with clothes and makeup, they’d both be thrilled. alice would go all out to make jessica happy and they’d be the perfect couple. thank you for your time

charlie x billy x carlisle: carlisle was turned as a 35+ year old in this version of twilight so it’s not weird. they have a huge subplot and in the end charlie decides he loves both of them so a poly V it is. esme exists, but more as like a best friend to carlisle, like platonic co-parents.

tanya x esme: two vampire moms kicking butt. enemies to lovers, but like way before the plot starts. they spend a lot of time apart but are very in love.

kate x jasper: garrett still comes around and it’s a big love triangle and in the end jasper and garrett run off together. kate is sad obviously but then she meets victoria (bc victoria realizes james was manipulating her and when he dies she’s like oh hell yah i’m free) and they fall in love

jake x mike newton: (this one is kind of a joke.) head canon that mike is young for his grade so he’s like 16 and jacob is 15/16 so they’re the same age. mike is so immature that this feels like it might as well be canon. they meet in new moon just like in canon, and both guys realize they think the other guy is way cooler than bella, so they both move on from her and pursue one another. they’re shy tho so bella is the unwilling middle man. she feels like a high schooler helping middle schoolers out

Irina x Laurent: technically this is canon but we never actually see them together so like i ship them and they’re together the entire series

Sunflower

Sunflower

OC Elizabeth Swan || Angst || Fluff || Mentions of Suicide

Chapter 1: Coming Home

Chapter 2: Open Wound

Chapter 3: Collide

Chapter 4: The End

Chapter 5: The Beginning

Chapter 6: coming soon

Break My Heart: Masterlist

Chapter One

nightmare -- [b. swan]

Notes: okay so, this is going to be aprox. eleven-ish (counting the epilogue) chapters. It’s going to be a character study plus plot and obviously BAMF! Bella.

summary: 

Keep reading

I like to think Bella has so many vampire questions that she just randomly thinks of that she has a note in her phone that she just adds each thought to, and each time she goes over to the Cullen house they play a quiz show type game with buzzers where Bella asks her questions and they buzz in to answer. The points aren’t reset at the end of each game so the numbers just keep getting higher and higher

• Edward keeps saying “you can just ask me questions instead of all this stuff” referring to the buzzers, after this he was permanently disqualified for ‘being a bit of a dick’

• Emmett and Jasper are usually either tied or first or are very narrowly in first or second

• Emmett lost 25 points once for trying to buy points by dropping a grizzly bear at a human Bella’s feet ‘just in case she wanted to try’ much to Edwards dismay she found it hilarious and just patted the bear on the head before telling Emmett he should finish it on her behalf

• Jasper also lost 25 points for trying to find out questions beforehand. He kept subtly asking Bella her thoughts on ‘vampire stuff’ and made her feel all warm and fuzzy, she wasn’t happy about this one

• Although the entire family is involved, Esme usually just comes up to Bella later to elaborate on people’s answers. Rosalie is only sometimes interested but gets a kick out of Emmetts entertainment. Carlisle usually sits back with Esme but you’ll occasionally hear a very distinct buzzer away from where Emmett and Jasper stand, Carlisle is sitting in an armchair like some sort of benevolent king with an answer ready and surprisingly humorous

• Alice is very eager, but gets most of her joy from seeing Jasper get points rather than answering things herself. Though if anything even similar to fashion comes up she sees it and buzzes in so fast Bella has barely finished her question

Hi, your metas are super interesting, and even if I really enjoy fanon twilight, it's really cool to read opinions based only on canon too!

So my question is about the sexual orientation of the Cullens, do you think they all straight?

For example i saw someone saying that Edward maybe was demisexual and it left me thinking, so i just wanted to know your opinions about it :)

In short, no.

In alphabetical order:

Alice is with a man, but without getting into the mess that is Alice/Jasper here, I don’t think theirs is a particularly physical relationship. I mean, if Alice wanted to get laid, she could just decide to fuck Jasper, enjoy the vision, and bam. Itch scratched. Thanks, Jazz. Alright, I’ll be serious. Alice and Jasper are with each other because the other represents salvation, not so much because of a personal or physical attraction but because of mysticism. So to me that doesn’t really say much about Alice’s preference. All the same I can’t see Alice having a particular preference, she’s too... Alice. Although it is easier to picture her with women. She is also the second half of the Alice/Bella homoerotic extravaganza, which makes heterosexual Alice even more farfetched to me. So, bisexual or lesbian Alice.

Bella shows clear attraction to women as well as men. She’s attracted to Rosalie, Alice, Edward, and Carlisle. I’ll just give you guys quotes: Of the three boys, one was big — muscled like a serious weight lifter, with dark, curly hair. Another was taller, leaner, but still muscular, and honey blond. The last was lanky, less bulky, with untidy, bronze-colored hair. He was more boyish than the others, who looked like they could be in college, or even teachers here rather than students. The girls were opposites. The tall one was statuesque. She had a beautiful figure, the kind you saw on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, the kind that made every girl around her take a hit on her self-esteem just by being in the same room. Her hair was golden, gently waving to the middle of her back. The short girl was pixielike, thin in the extreme, with small features. Her hair was a deep black, cropped short and pointing in every direction. (Twilight, page 9) This is the Cullens’ introduction. I won’t spend much time on it, just notice the difference between Rosalie and the others. Rosalie is highlighted in a way Alice is not, and Edward is at first glance only the boyish one of the guys. Rosalie was the Cullen whose beauty immediately stood out to Bella. It was hard to decide who was the most beautiful — maybe the perfect blond girl, or the bronze-haired boy. (sic.) Bella has realized by now that Edward’s a grade A hottie, but she’s still torn between him and Rosalie. Bella then gets to know Alice, and they become friends who take showers together(!). Rosalie may be the most attractive Cullen woman, but Alice is the one Bella gets emotionally close to. We get this in New Moon:  UNNATURALLY STILL AND WHITE, WITH LARGE BLACK EYES intent on my face, my visitor waited perfectly motionless in the center of the halt, beautiful beyond imagining.  (...) I locked my arms around her, gasping to inhale as much of the scent of her skin as possible. It wasn't like anything else—not floral or spice, citrus or musk. No perfume in the world could compare. My memory hadn't done it justice. (New Moon, page 191) Bella never thought she’d never see any of the Cullens again, so for her to be hysterical and ecstatic upon seeing her second favorite is not by itself damning. I’m sure she’d be ecstatic to see Emmett too. It’s that fact that she’d missed Alice’s scent that’s interesting. The scent of her skin was something Bella was aware of before they parted. And while it may be tempting to say “it’s because they’re vampires, Bella’s admiring them like she would a work of art!”, Bella never dwells on Esme, Jasper, or Emmett in this way. Jasper and Emmett especially are not admired beyond the introduction of their characters. We never hear about what any of them smell like, nor does Bella remark upon their beauty after waking up a vampire. Carlisle and Edward, by comparison, are men she keeps noticing. Bella finds Carlisle blindingly beautiful when she first sees him as a vampire, and there’s this from New Moon: Though it erased the sting, it reminded me of the gash, and I watched Carlisle's face carefully to distract me from what his hands were doing. His hair gleamed gold in the bright light as he bent over my arm. (New Moon, page 18) There’s thinking someone is pretty, and then there’s gazing lovingly upon their face instead of pain killers. Bella is bisexual.

Carlisle moved in with a very gay man, had a close relationship with him, lived with him for the sake of his company for decades, and only left because of dietary differences. We don’t know for sure whether they actually had an affair or not, but the fact remains that of all the Cullens, Carlisle is the one who is implied to have had a homosexual relationship in canon. He loses his straight card based on that alone. Also gonna link this clip, because I’m Mac listening to Edward talk about how young Carlisle lived with this sexy Mycenaean Greek for a few decades when he was young. Aro is all the santas. Carlisle is bisexual.

Edward... oh boy. His brain is supposedly seventeen, and yet this very interesting thing happens in his relationship with Bella where he never notices her body. Not ever. By body I mean curves. Edward notices Bella’s skin, her frailty, her humanity. He praises her blushes, her doe-like eyes, her warmth, her softness, her swan-like neck, her delicious scent. The feminine aesthetic. He does not once notice her tits. The only tits he is on record noticing belong to Siobhan, and it’s because she has an impossible to ignore rack: She was profoundly female in shape—aggressively, forcefully female. (Midnight Sun, chapter Probability) It’s one thing for him to be old-fashioned and too quintessentially Edward to even think the word “boob”, but in 700+ pages of Midnight Sun there’s just this absence of this seventeen-year-old noticing her curves. More damningly, when seeing Alice’s vision of vampire!Bella, Edward is horrified at the sight of his love cold and hard. He doesn’t describe vampire!Bella by any of the positives, like “flawless”. Edward is attracted to the human, not the woman. What that means for his sexuality... well, I’m going to go ahead and point out that he is very weird about Carlisle, and it’s damning that the personality he projects onto Bella is so similar to Carlisle. I hesitate to apply a label here, but in my own, personal, headcanon we’re veering towards homosexual. Deeeeeeply closeted homosexual.

Emmett is straight. Straightest guy ever to straight.

Esme is pretty clearly taken with Carlisle. Though if she were to feel attracted towards another woman, I imagine she’d have no idea what to make of that, if she even recognized it for what it was. She’s from a very different time and still living in that time, and she continues to be very sheltered. Still, as per my personal headcanon, I see her as straight.

Jasper, who knows. Though if he’s into guys, he has probably gone for it in the past. I suppose I should write a meta on vampires and sexual norms in general, but in short I don’t think they all live monogamously like the Cullens. STDs and pregnancies are unheard of, as is social ostracizing. Vampires are hedonistic, Twilight vampires more so than any other. Which in turn means I don’t think Maria and Jasper were monogamous. A couple, sure, but I don’t think Maria would say “oh noes, I can’t, I’m with Jasper!” if someone she was attracted to made an overture, and same goes for Jasper. So, if Jasper was into guys, then sure. I can see Jasper/Peter happening, or even Charlotte/Jasper/Peter. Jasper is certainly into women, with the possibility of guys as well. And if so, then it’s probably happened.

Rosalie I’m shocked is with a guy in the first place, everything about her screams lesbian. However, she’s clearly into Emmett, so apparently she’s bisexual.

(I’m not including Renesmée in this, since she’s three months old by the time the series conclude.)

This all being said, several of these people are from very different times and wouldn’t have the same concepts of sexuality internalized as we do, so how they’d identify is a very different matter.

I was just thinking what if Twilight au with Bella as the vampire matriarch of The Olympic Coven??

Bella is turned, she has incredible control and refuses to feed on humans which catches the attention of Aro

She lives with the Volturi for a time and develops her shield abilities and pours over their libraries learning everything she can about her kinds history.

Alice is changed and wakes up with no memories but dreams a mystery man who is her soulmate and a girl who will be her best friend.

Bella grows unhappy with the way the Volturi treat humans and she leaves and lives alone until Alice and Jasper join her.

Some years later Bella meets human Emmett and grows fond of the joke cracking, family loving young man he is but stays distant since he is a human and knowing humans is dangerous.

While out hunting she hears Emmett being attacked by a bear.

She’s too late to save him with human medicine though and she turns him

3 years later Emmett becomes infatuated with a human Rosalie but he knows that it’s dangerous for a human to know about vampires so he just watches her from afar.

Rosalie is attacked by Royce and Emmett carries her bloodied body back to Bella, begging her to change her.

In a brief moment of consciousness Rosalie consents and she is turned

It takes some time for Rose to trust the Swan family

She’s afraid of a twitchy Jasper and unsure of the big, loud Emmett.

But Emmett is kind and patient and he looks at her with such love in his eyes

His jokes make her laugh and when she decides to hunt down Royce he agrees to help.

They plan everything out and when it comes to the actual act Emmett stands back and let’s Rose deal out every intricate torture herself.

It’s her revenge and she should have it.

Afterwards he helps her wash Royce’s filthy blood from her hands and holds her while she grieves for everything her life could have been. 

While working as a nurse/midwife Bella treats a human Esme, she sees the abuse and worries over what will happen to this woman.

Alice shares her own concerns and they half come up with a plan to murder Esme’s husband Charles but Esme falls pregnant and the future is uncertain.

They wait.

The abuse continues and Esme loses her son.

Bella finds her at the bottom of a cliff broken and knowing how intelligent and loving and full of potential this woman is she can’t let her die.

Esme wakes up as a vampire.

Esme and Rosalie kill Charles.

Bella knows Alice saw it coming and told her sister.

Bella also knows it had to happen.

Esme and Bella are working as nurses in a local hospital when Bella meets a dying Edward.

The overwhelming pull she feels is like nothing she’s ever felt

She’s never craved human blood like this.

His blood sings for her but she knows humans and vampires don’t mix well and she doesn’t want to harm a human so she does everything she can to heal him

She’s damned but she’ll be damned again before she let’s his human life be taken away.

Edwards parents die and then Edward worsens.

Bella confides in Alice who tells her that loving Edward is her destiny, that they’re made for each other just like Rosalie and Emmett and her and Jasper.

Bella fantasises about the possible future Alice saw and in a moment of weakness she turns Edward saving his life.

Bella never imagined she’d find love, she knew she’d be alone forever but that’s all changed and maybe she can have her happy ending.

One night while wondering the streets of London Edward is drawn into a church, he hears faint choking, gasping, a racing heart and the smell of blood and vampire venom changing a human.

He find Carlisle fighting almost silently through the most painful change anyone could go through, he reads his mind and knows that this is someone worth knowing.

He know that Carlisle is afraid of him, knows a rogue vampire did this, he knows Carlisle’s father would kill his son for what he’s become so he stays to protect him and monitor his change.

Carlisle survives the change and wakes up a vampire.

It takes some convincing but Edward manages to take Carlisle to see his mate and coven leader Bella.

Upon arrival at their newest London house though they’re met first by Esme

Who was worried Edward had been gone so long and is about to tell him off when her eyes land on Carlisle

The rest is history.

Bella tells Carlisle everything he wants to know, vegetarian vampires heck yeah count me in, wow hot vampire wife who’s been waiting almost a hundred years for me heck yeah.

HECK YEAH

The End

imagine twilight but Bella is gay and her and Edward just become such close friends that he wants to turn her because finally someone who reads around here

More Cats With Big Peepers 🐱
More Cats With Big Peepers 🐱

More cats with big peepers 🐱

Lots of folks mentioned wanting a commission of their cat in this style, so these two were made as new examples for when I open commissions! I'll most likely have a few slots available in the coming weeks 👀

I've seen a lot of PJO/SOA headcannons that Nico and Will are the reincarnations of Achilles and Patroclus. I've even seen fics about Chiron telling Nico and Will about training Patroclus and Achilles.

Hot take: Gay Dads Patrochilles who aggressively ship Solangelo

Nico has known Achilles in canon ever since the whole "swim in the Styx Percy it's totally safe" thing. And we know he spends a lot of time wandering around the safer parts of the Underworld - that's how he found Hazel.

Imagine he's visiting Elysium, catching up with old friends, and he runs into the legends themselves.

Achilles is moderately indifferent about it - at most Nico's that annoying kid who dragged him away from his eternity with Pat to ask about his mom (awkward). But Patroclus takes one look at this depressed boi and says "is anyone going to parent this sad gay child?" "Pat, that's Hades' son." "Not anymore."

And because it's Patroclus, he goes out of his way to get Nico to warm up to them. He makes point to talk to him and give advice and is genuinely glad to see him in a way that Nico never got at camp wasn't used to.

Achilles isn't surprised because Patroclus always had a thing for strays. The girls he rescued during the war, the dogs he snuck snacks to beneath the dinner table, even the younger demigods hanging around Elysium. Still, he pouts whenever bae pays attention to anyone other than him

"-we never got to have children Achilles, this could be our chance-"

Achilles melts

Admittedly Achilles has a lot in common with Nico. Both demigod princes burdened by prophecy, who often felt isolated from others due to their parentage. It's no wonder Pat likes him. And Achilles finds himself relating to this boy more than he expected.

Nico has no idea that he's been adopted. He's just more comfortable around the dead, that's all. That's why Pat is so easy to talk to and Achilles has warmed up to him - he's the King of Ghosts it's definitely some latent son of Hades ability that makes them like him.

They're actually part of what makes him consider leaving camp for the Underworld permanently. He never said it out loud, but the easy acceptance and care they offered was everything he'd been craving.

It makes the choice easy - until Will finds out and flips his shit.

"Will? Who's Will?"

Nico flushes and mutters something about Apollo and war paint and satyr babies before melting into shadows. Achilles turns to Pat with amusement "he takes after you philtatos."

The more they hear about 'Will' the more excited Pat is. He's a healer - he's making Nico eat healthier - he nags him about hiding injuries - he makes Nico smile. Every point seems to check a box in his favor.

Achilles is hesitant - even if Apollo reunited him with his love, he did so by killing him. And if anything hurt Nico, Pat would be devastated and furious ("-like you wouldn't be too Achilles just admit you like him-"). Nico tells him about Will's supersonic whistle and he's reluctantly impressed. Still, he's reluctant to grant blessings.

Achilles insists that Nico needs to bring Will to them to "judge his suitability as a therapon"

Pat smacks his head and reminds him that "-we're dead Achilles, he'd have to die to meet us-"

"-all the better to prove his devotion-"

"Achilles!"

Eventually Will does meet them, either because Nico escorted him to the Underworld or Nico summoned their spirits. Once meeting him, Achilles has a total change of heart. It's hard not to like the kid when he and Patroclus immediately start rambling on enthusiastically about different medical techniques and how Chiron's lessons have changed in the past few thousand years.

Achilles watches fondly as Pat beams at the sun child, who's gesturing wildly while explaining something called 'neurology'. There isn't much use for healing in the Underworld so his love rarely gets to indulge his passion like this.

A glance at Nico shows an equally soft expression on young prince's face and he thinks "alright this could work"

The deceased lovers immediately began ploting some way to bring the two together. Obviously they're limited as they can't leave the Underworld, but Nico visits so often that its easy to slip in some subtle hints - and even outright statements (Achilles' brand of subtlety isn't very subtle) - that they would be good together.

Nico is well aware of what they're up to and is both embarrassed and pleased by the support. This doesn't effect his relationship with Will much except giving him a much needed confidence boost that ended with him, pink faced but steady, asking Will to see the fireworks with him.

Nico's next visit to Elysium was announced as he tripped and stumbled out of the shadows, rushing up to a stunned Achilles to beg him for advice

"-and he said yes and I have no idea what to do-"

"You're asking me? I'm a warrior, not a charmer young prince"

"Yeah, but you still charmed Patroclus somehow so you must have done something-"

Achilles looks frantically at Pat for help, but his love is bent over in hysterics, struggling for air he no longer needs

... happily ever after?

This was longer than I thought it would be. So many people fanboy about Patrochilles, I just love the idea that they fanboy about someone else for once. And Nico needs a pair of supportive gay dads

Edit:

Nico: I can't believe I was adopted by Achilles and his boy toy

Zagreus: First time?

Nico: ... ????

Zagreus: Also, I'm pretty sure Achilles is the boy toy

(Nico also deserves a bamf poly/pan big brother)(and look Achilles has one in storage)(he enjoys cuddling with his various lovers)(long walks through the Fields of Asphodel)(and kicking the ass of the king of Athens)

Jaskier meets Lambert after the mountain and they quickly become friends.

Lambert complains to Jaskier about not getting enough contracts recently, because people think of him as "foul mouthed and rude". Jaskier offers to help him with that.

Jaskier takes Lambert's clothes and swords and starts introducing himself as a Witcher. Jaskier does the talking part, getting a lot of contracts and even higher pay. Then Lambert does the monster-killing part. In the end, Jaskier comes back, dressed as a Witcher again, collecting the coin.

They go on like this for almost half a year, having fun and earning lots of coin.

Until one day, when Jaskier and Lambert arrive at a small town, looking for another contract. Jaskier goes to the town's mayor, dressed as a Witcher, and offers his services.

The town's mayor greets him with a smile. "Oh, I'm so glad you came here! We could use another Witcher on this!"

Jaskier blinks in confusion. "Another Witcher?"

He turns around and sees Geralt, sitting on a chair by the door, staring at him with his mouth open.

it is so easy to fuck with geralt now that yennefer is friends with jaskier

she'll just roll her shoulders and kinda grimace and jaskier will be like "what's wrong?" and she's like "nothing, really, just kind of sore..." and he'll go to her side and offer a massage just like that and she'll sigh, thank him, then look at geralt with the smugest look on her face

geralt will just break whatever he's holding and be so confused why he's upset

and yennefer has never had more fun in her life

So Jaskier, completely shitfaced, is sitting somewhere on the dirty floor near a tavern in Oxenfurt, when he meets Vesemir for the first time.

He instantly recognizes the old witcher and loudly calls him over, something along the lines of "Hey! Hey you- you, wolf! Papa wolf! Yeah, come on, I need to have a word with you about your son. The- the stupid one-"

Vesemir is obviously not amused, but he comes over nonetheless because for some reason that drunk kid knows him.

Then, Jaskier proceeds to ramble on about Geralt and it gets very close to trash talk, but Vesemir keeps his cool and reads in between the lines. What he finds out is this: Geralt - who up to this point had been his favorite - had somehow managed to break this poor kid's heart, not once, not twice but "at least five times". Said kid had apparently "spent more than half of his life" following his son like a lost puppy. He mumbles something about elves and djinns and then tells this elaborate tale of a golden dragon. "And then he left me on a fucking mountain!" Vesemir for his part would have not believed any of this, if the name Yennefer hadn't fallen. Many of the unreasonable things Geralt does are related to Yennefer.

The old witcher then takes a closer look at the sod on the floor and oh yes, didn't Geralt say something about a bard?

Then suddenly the kid stops mid sentence as if remembering something important. He waves at one of the other young men and loudly asks "Oi Mikael, is there- is there class tomorrow!?" Vesemir doesn't show it but he's kind of shocked. The drunk kid is clearly a student at the Academy, way too young to be traveling with a witcher. What ln earth is Geralt thinking?!

When the other man, for some reason looking as shocked as Vesemir feels, answers the kid's question with "yes", the bardling seems to sober up by a lot. He staggers up, wishes Vesemir a good night and starts to stumble towards Oxenfurt Academy, quickly followed by the other student.

The last thing Vesemir hears before they walk out of side is how the student asks the bard "Does that mean we won't have to write that test tomorrow, professor?"

Professor. Vesemir needs a break.

Fine, but first...

Something flickered in Jaskier's eyes; the journey of a decision, start to finish, and then the bard huffed a breath, shoulders slumping.

"Fine. But first," he uttered, almost thoughtful, turning away.

He spun quick enough that all he had time to register was the flash of surprise on Geralt's face before he punched him, knuckles meeting his jaw in a move that undoubtedly hurt the musician more than the Witcher.

"Cock, bollocks and a Witcher's cunt!" the bard yelped, shaking out his hand. His captors hadn't even removed his rings and he was certain they were embedded forever on his fingers.

Geralt blinked slowly, one hand coming up lethargically.

"I'm not sure what I'm more surprised by," Geralt murmured, touching a fingertip to the blood dripping from his nose. "The fact that you just punched me, or that it was a decent hit.”

Jaskier stayed sullenly silent, clutching his hand to his chest with a scowl.

"Let me check your hand," Geralt sighed, reaching for him.

"Don't fucking touch me, you utter horse's arse!" Jaskier shrieked, slapping his hand away.

"Jaskier–"

"Don't Jaskier me!" the bard refuted again, and Geralt raised a brow, grinding his teeth.

"Julian, then?" he growled. "Sandpiper, perhaps? What should I call you if not your name?"

Jaskier fell silent, staring wild-eyed at him. "I'm not–"

"Stupid and kind hearted enough to take on Nilfgaard's purges?" Geralt challenged, voice soft. "It's exactly the sort of thing the Jaskier I know would do."

"You don't know me," Jaskier laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "What's my favorite color, Geralt? What flower am I allergic to, hm? What did I study at Oxenfurt, even? When's my birthday?"

"Blue. You're not allergic to any flowers; you ate dog’s bane, which is poisonous to everything. You studied historical poetry and the art of lyrical literature in your first year, song-smithing and composing in your second and the lute for three, alongside several other string instruments, but the lute is your favorite.

Your birthday is Belleteyn, and you tell everyone it gives you magical fucking skills, even though that's horseshit. You hate ginger root and some prick called Valdo Marx and being cold and the first song you ever wrote was called Dixie's Dandy Dally."

He'd started off angry, mettle meeting mettle, but by the time he was done his voice was level, almost fearful, chest heaving for breath as he met Jaskier’s stunned gaze.

"You talk. A lot," he ground out evenly. "So much I sometimes imagine cutting out your tongue. But when you talk; I listen. I've listened to you for over twenty years, Jaskier."

“You didn’t know me enough not to send me away,” Jaskier whispered, gaze falling. “You didn’t care enough.”

“I cared too much. And I destroy the things I care about,” Geralt answered. He reached out slowly, palm open; invitation. “If you’d let me, I’d like to try and fix what I’ve broken.”

Silent deliberation. After a moment, Jaskier heaved a forceful exhale and raised his bruising hand.

“Perhaps you’d like to start with my knuckles, then?”

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