Picture Credit: Xbruised_peachx On Twitter

Picture Credit: Xbruised_peachx On Twitter

Picture credit: xbruised_peachx on Twitter

Sorry but I’m on my young recruit König & old colonel König brainrot again

CW: More polyamory headcanons with 2 Königs. Healthy relationship with old König and toxic relationship with young König, possessive behaviour, jealousy, NSFW 18+ only

The way he greets you when he comes back is so sweet you almost melt right there on the doorstep. He cups your face with both hands, gives you the most tender kiss known to mankind, and envelops you in a soul-warming hug. The love of your life sighs deeply as he holds you; his sweet, adorable wife. The Colonel may be a little tired but he's also extremely happy to be home again.

Colonel König, the older, calmer version of König is everything a woman could want. You married him early because he charmed you right off your feet.

You ride him on the first night because you simply want to show how much you've missed him. Colonel König never objects to you taking the reins every now and then. You see it from his eyes that he’s in seventh heaven whenever you bounce on his cock. He’s just happy to see you take your pleasure from him. He’s the luckiest man on earth because his needy young wife never gets enough of him – it strokes his ego that someone like you wants someone like him.

He always puts his things where they belong and takes a shower before walking into the living room and falling on the sofa with another deep sigh. He looks like he just fought an entire war by himself. When you go to make some dinner, he bounces back up and offers to help. You have to convince him that he can rest while you prepare some food. When you return with the meal, the tv is on but the Colonel is snoring softly on the couch.

He praises you and the meal, and you both talk about your days (or weeks). It calms your nerves just to talk with him. Colonel König is cultured and mature and you can talk to him about politics or the squirrels in your garden or some new documentary you've watched. He can hold any conversation.

He's illegally hot with his deep voice and loving stare, not to mention the thick muscles covered by a healthy layer of fat. You pride yourself on giving him some of that by feeding him so well. He already has a few laugh lines at the corner of his eyes – you pride yourself on giving those to him, too.

In the morning he’s much more vigorous. A good night's rest does wonders to any man, and König wakes up to cuddle you with a good, hard, thick erection. If you’re still sleepy, he will go down on you – he loves it when you’re too tired and warm and pleased to fight him.

He edges you for at least an hour: now it’s his turn to show how much he has missed you and how much he appreciates it that he has a cozy, beautiful home and a lovely, beautiful wife to return to. He’s sure he won the lottery with you, and you’re sure you’ve been blessed with the most attentive gentleman on earth. You feel like floating before you even get to the breakfast table.

Colonel König brings you small gifts and expensive flowers everytime he comes home, and takes you on a vacation to a new, exciting place every chance he can get, which is multiple times a year. You never have to ask for anything because he already got it for you.

You never have to fear you’re too much, or too moody, too this or too that: König appreciates you just the way you are and takes your fits and breakdowns and insecurities and PMS struggles like a champ. He stays calm during any storm and you can always trust him with all your troubles. You stopped apologizing for yourself an aeon ago because you know König doesn’t want to hear it: he only wants to comfort and console you when life has been hard on you. He will do anything to make it better, and if he can’t make it better, he will hold you long and fast until you smile again.

He takes such good care of you that you cried into his chest hair about it once. König only caressed you and said you deserve all of it and more. You could hear the calm, content smile on his lips while you were ugly crying about him being too good for you and spoiling you to bits.

When you asked if there’s anything you can do to return the many favors he’s given you, his face turned super smug before he suggested that you could always blow him. That’s probably the most obscene thing you've ever heard him say, which is why your face was all flushed when you travelled down to suck his already hard cock.

If only he didn’t have to repair the damage left behind by his younger version, you two would be the happiest couple this world has ever seen. Life would be peaceful and his home would stay nice and clean if the young, horny recruit had never walked into your life. He would have more energy and he could go back to work with a peaceful mind if it weren’t for this boy who has yet to learn how to be a man. A boy he couldn't deny you because you must always have everything you want; it's a law he lives by. You saved him from himself, and he will see you happy no matter what.

For some reason a troubled, violent young pup who shows a woman he loves them by bullying and fucking them to a quivering heap is what makes you happy at this point in life. Perhaps it's only a bonus that the rookie takes the blunt of your libido... otherwise he might be in trouble with his younger wife.

It’s just that the Colonel knows he can’t satisfy all your needs. You have a dark side, which he appreciates, and he thinks he’s being a good man when he allows this to happen. He's a good man, both to you and to the rookie who is the cockiest and also the most deranged, damaged little creature he has ever seen.

He tries his best to carve a man out of this poor, traumatized young bastard. He tries his best to give you the opportunity to live your life to the full by having two men who absolutely and utterly worship you... in their own ways.

Because when Young Recruit König comes home?

He’s not tired at all. He’s just excited and pent-up from being away from you for so long. He greets you by lifting you into a bone-crushing hug, sets you down when you whimper, and buries his face into your neck. You never get a kiss on the lips or a peck on the cheek: young König gives you a long, bruising love bite on your neck while you squirm and whine in his hold. He's something of a sadist when he only laughs and asks, “How has my sweet little Muschi* been...?” *Muschi means pussy in German :(

He doesn’t offer to help, he just throws his bags on the floor and asks what’s for dinner. If you have it ready, he nuzzles his face into your neck again and says how much he loves you, how perfect you are, and how he’s going to show how much he missed you after he's had a taste of your delicious cookings.

You watch how he eats almost all of it, a meal meant for an entire family. Colonel König eats like a horse, too, but he’s modest compared to our young rookie who goes to the gym in addition to his hectic job and probably burns 4000 calories per day just by daydreaming of filthy scenarios with you.

Don’t even think about riding him slowly into the sunset. Young König takes you while you’re on your knees, your ass and pussy exposed to his hungry gaze and hard cock. It borders on humiliating sometimes, the way he treats you. You grab for support from the sheets, knowing that it’s useless.

You’re in luck if you happen to cum, because the first round is just him using his little muschi, the tight, sweet hole he’s missed so much. He sounds like an animal until he cums, then kisses you all over when he’s done. You both sound like you're about to cry as he gives you hot, fond smooches where it tickles the most, getting some kind of sick satisfaction from the way you squirm and shudder in his hold again.

Round two is much more gentle and König is way more attentive, now focusing solely on you. Or at least on how you look under him, how desperate and wet your eyes get, how your tits bounce when he makes love to you. Well, you wouldn’t say that the younger version of König even knows how to make love – the old Colonel has tried to teach him, but he seems to get very pissed at anyone telling him what to do and how to do it. Plus he knows he can give you what the old man can or will not: a rough fucking that leaves you breathless, helpless and very much in love.

Because even if the first time is pure madness, the sessions that follow are made of intense adoration. König is obsessed with you and your desperate moans, your tight, wet cunt, the way he can make you cum three or four or even five times a day. He’s not the most gentle, attentive guy but he will do anything in his power to make you shiver, shake, beg, and clench. While Colonel tries to savour you nice and slow, the younger recruit lives for extremes. Sometimes it feels like he’s trying to drive you (or himself) mad.

The sheets have to be changed on the third day of his leave, and there’s not a surface in your house he hasn’t bullied you on or against. After a few days of fucking and living on takeaway food (König won’t let you from his sights for one minute), the young recruit finally calms down and agrees to watch some movies with you. You even get him to do some chores.

He won't help you in the garden like Colonel König because he's interested in the most dangerous, illegal or unnecessary jobs in the house, such as: can he fix the weather vane while balancing on a slippery roof, or would it be any fun if he did some DIY electrical work by himself. But he will help you with your computer, fix you some weed and turn a cooking session into a play fight that ends with you both on the kitchen floor and König sampling you instead of the sauce you tried to offer him.

This young rookie comes home with a wine bottle or some new sexy lingerie for you to wear (and him to tear right off). One day he comes home with a kitten, a scared little orange tabby, and asks if you like it while an evil grin spreads on his face. The poor thing tries to scratch and claw König but he has his gloves on, and when it gets released to your apartment, it runs under the sofa and won't come out, not before König comes up with a solution that involves some tuna. You're 100% sure he either stole that kitten or found it abandoned somewhere.

König leaves you in the good care of his older version, knowing that the aftercare he provided barely counts as aftercare because it’s filled with manic kisses and hugs that hardly allow you to breathe. The things he mutters in your ear when he holds you are usually about you being the best pussy he’s ever had, or about would you like it if he killed the old fart.

The cat turns out to be very vocal and cuddly but it also destroys your curtains and the Colonel's side of the bed. It grows up to be a violent bird hunting machine and an entire menace that, perhaps to no one's surprise, reminds you of your young lover.

Conversations with König mainly include him mansplaining things to you. He boasts a lot and you get the feeling he's actually very insecure under all that brash cockiness. But whenever you try to work on that with him, he soon gets annoyed, frustrated, or horny. Any attention is both poison and elixir for this man.

When you start to cry from him being so intense with you and mean to the man you love (the man who allows this young rookie to eat his food, fuck his wife and practically live in the house he bought with hard work) he says it’s only because he knows you’re not happy with him, not really.

But he can make you happy. He has money too. He can give you everything you want, too. And didn’t he just make you cum twice with his tongue and cock? Can the old man do that, eh? What else do you need? What else could you even ask for?

You have to make your calls and texts to the Colonel in secret even if your arrangement is known to all parties involved. It’s just that the young recruit becomes even more crazy and possessive in bed if he sees or hears you talking to his rival. You get the sense that he's not just crazy and self-centered: he's actually so desperately in love with you that he can't take the reminder that you're someone else's wife.

You tried to live together once, but it ended in both of your lovers in the hospital and you crying next to their beds. They made an uneasy truce after that, and agreed that they should take turns with you.

They mainly talk to each other through you nowadays. The "talking" mainly consist of threats which you never deliver.

Colonel König says he’ll snap the young prick’s neck if he ever hurts you in any way, your body or your feelings. You never say to him that the damage is already done – well, perhaps he hasn't hurt your body, which is sore from all the love, yes, but never abused. But he has hurt your feelings many times by being so callous, intimidating, and reckless.

Your nervous system is constantly on high alert with the young recruit who fantasizes very openly and cruelly about all the things he’d like to do to the Colonel (such as "if he tries to show me how to fuck this sweet Muschi again, I will fuck him to his grave with his own dick" or "I have a bullet with your lover's name on it. Have you ever held a gun, kleiner Schatz? Would you like me to show you how to load a rifle?")

When you remind him that you’re the Colonel’s wife, and won’t listen to such violent, stupid nonsense, the young recruit smiles with another devilish grin and says you needn’t worry: you wouldn’t be a widow for long. He would propose to you once the funeral is over and done with. Perhaps he’ll propose at the funeral. Would you like that…? Would it make you wet?

It's the only time you actually slapped him, and it only got him hard. When you were shocked about that too, he asked why do you think men go to the army in the first place, and urged you to slap the Colonel too and see what it does to him.

What you find a bit funny though is how this entitled young man seems to think about the Colonel everytime he’s inside you. He always brags about how he fucks you better than him, how he knows you prefer his mouth over the old man’s. He knows his cock is bigger too: he compared once when they were having a piss outside. He also knows you should make babies with him: they would be very healthy. Surely you’d choose him over the old Colonel if it came to breeding you? If you ever want children, you only need to ask...

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No because how THE FUCK does tumblr know I’m getting into Miguel O’Hara

He’s been my strictly tiktok addiction bro

4 years ago

Candy Floss

Reader x Clyde Logan

Author note: well, this was supposed to be a smutty one shot and i wrote a damn novel. warning: sickly fluff. smut. daddy & breeding kink

Your move to Virginia came as surprise to everyone. You were known as a “city girl”, always has been. However, as you came closer to turning 30, things shifted. The city started to feel too loud, too dirty, even the air felt heavy and smothering. 

The long term relationship that defined the last 5 years of your life had fizzled and died. As a result, everywhere you called home was awash with a person you no longer loved. A pervasive stain you couldn’t remove. The lens which you viewed the city through had changed, and not for the better.

Not everything had gone to shit if you were honest. You were lucky to be in a career that allowed you to be creative. Finally, you had enough of a reputation to go out on your own, be your own boss, take on the projects you wanted to; it was hard work but blissful.

The urge to make a fresh start grew over a few months. To be honest, trying to navigate the likes of Tinder after being out of the dating game for so long made you want to hurl your phone out of the window. The number of unsolicited dick pics that arrived in your inbox was fucking depressing (they weren’t even good looking dicks). Most of your other friends were in long-term relationships, as you had been, and seemed busy with their own lives. There seemed to be no reason to stay.

One Sunday, as you were watching one of those antique hunting shows, a guilty pleasure of yours, the hunters were in West Virginia and sweeping shots of the countryside were shown. It was beautiful, so green and looked so clean. Opening Google on your phone you type in West Virginia and start to scroll through the results. Clicking into a rental property page for no reason other than to be nosy, you audibly whined at the gorgeous little cottages that popped up for about ¼ of the price of your shoe-box apartment. With a sigh, you lock your phone and carry on watching.

A few days later, West Virginia was still on your mind. Each night you had been scrolling through cottages and imagining how you would decorate the inside, even going as far as to start a Pinterest board to feed the fantasy. It took a particularly awkward Tinder date, (in which you had run into your ex not once, but twice) and the consumption of a few wines to finally have a eureka moment. Why in God’s name were you still here? Nothing is stopping you from going wherever you goddamn want! And that was it.

..

Two weeks later you were hauling boxes into an almost Pinterest-worthy cottage in West Virginia. Jesus, the air felt fresh! You stood for a long time in the empty living room just enjoying the smell of wood and listening to the sounds of, well, nothing.

The silence at night was deafening, it actually freaked you out a touch, and you could only fall asleep with the television on. Your old morning routine of waking up and scrolling through social media for far too long had been replaced with long walks through the town and surrounding countryside. You had kept up your yoga and meditation practice which had been largely enhanced by the beautiful surrounds and the ability to do so outside on the grass, instead of on the fraying carpet in your old apartment.

Your only issue thus far was the cabin fever developing from working at home all day. In the city you would change scenery once or twice a day, favouring a few local coffee spots that offered bottomless cups and the local park. The town you had chosen to settle in was sprawling and minimal. However you hadn’t really searched for any possible spots, so one Monday you pulled on your sneakers, popped your laptop in your backpack and walked towards town.

You had walked past the bar Duck Tape many times on your walks and never paid much attention. It was just after 1 pm and although the parking lot was near empty, the open sign was lit up in the window. You could also smell coffee, which closed the deal and you were striding across the parking lot towards the door.

You pushed the mesh door open and stepped into the deserted bar. It was clean and tidy, with dappled sunlight that streamed through the windows, lighting up the largely wooden space making it feel cozy and welcoming.

“Hello?” You called out apprehensively as you made your way towards the wooden bar.

You heard heavy footsteps come up the hallway behind the bar and a very tall and surprisingly young (not an old barman like you expected) man emerged.

“Are ya lost?” He asked in a thick Virginian accent, raising an eyebrow. You were slightly taken aback, not just by the question but also how oddly handsome he was. He was built like a tree, tall and broad. You usually didn’t feel small, standing at 5″9 yourself, but this guy made you feel almost petite. He had strong facial features, that somehow worked well together. His large nose, kind eyes and soft lips were framed by long, thick raven hair. You usually didn’t think much of facial hair but his strange goatee suited him well. 

“Oh!.. ah!… nope! Actually, I’m new around here and was just looking for a place to sit and do some work for a few hours and saw, well actually, smelt your coffee” you blabbered, you could feel yourself blushing. Suddenly feeling slightly stupid that you thought you could use a local bar in this town like a cafe in the city. 

“Well, thatsa new one, we usually are pretty dead around this time a’ day, so make ya’self comfortable, I’ll grab ya a cup,” he said motioning to a table. It was then you noticed that one of his arms was prosthetic. Interesting guy, you thought to yourself as he walked over to the coffee machine. You could feel his eyes on you as you piled your slightly out of control hair on top of your head, securing it in a clip. It was very curly and a faded pinky blonde. You rather enjoyed playing into the “creative” stereotype that your career graced you with.

He came over with a steaming cup of coffee as you were unpacking your laptop and drawing tablet. “Wow that’s fancy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone with a computer in this here bar,” He said as he placed the cup a rather comical distance from your computer. You chuckled and shrugged, “not really fancy, just tools of the trade”. He placed a little jug of cream and dish of sugar next to the cup and said “well, just help ya’self to more coffee and I will be around so let me know if you need anything” and started to walk off.

“Thanks uh…?”

“It’s Clyde”

“Thanks, Clyde, I’m y/n” you said, smiling at him. You couldn’t help but notice how stoic he was, didn’t really smile, but managed to seem gentle and kind. —–

Over the next few weeks, you spent most weekdays at the same spot in Duck Tape. It was a nice routine, arriving at about 1 pm and leaving by 4.30pm before the post-workday rush stormed the place. Clyde had even gone as far to place a little “Reserved” sign on the table, even though it was always empty when you arrived. You couldn’t deny the first time you saw it you almost audibly said “awhhhhhhh” and had a surge of butterflies. 

You became slowly aware of Clyde watching you work from time to time. But didn’t let on, you enjoyed the harmless attention. You, yourself sneaked a peak every time he reached up high, causing his shirt to ride up and his slightly chiselled stomach and snail trail came into view.  You engaged in casual conversation but often worked away in comfortable silence. You got the impression that Clyde was a quiet person, not entirely enthusiastic on forced small talk, much like yourself. You knew basic bits and pieces about Clyde now but only found out he actually owned the bar after his brother Jimmy paid him a visit. Jimmy was stunningly opposite to Clyde in personality, although also fairly handsome. He had taken great joy in finding you tapping away and had introduced himself, after a brief conversation Clyde had appeared. Jimmy grinned and practically yelled “Brother! ya didn’t tell me ya had a beautiful lady ‘ere every day” as he slapped him on the back. Clyde looked like he was wishing for death and you couldn’t help but giggle into your coffee mug. Jimmy winked at you on the way out. Clyde muttered “So sorry bout that” as he turned on his feet and disappeared out into the back on the bar. It was thoroughly amusing and left you smiling for days. 

You caught yourself thinking about Clyde more and more often, and you couldn’t deny, it was veering towards being lustful. It had really gone off the deep end when you noticed how huge his hands were. Also, you hadn’t been laid in goddamn weeks and your vibrator was receiving a thrashing. 

—-

Seeing Clyde most days was now firmly routine. You were even getting rare small smiles from him when you arrived and announced yourself with a sing-song “Hi Clyde”. He had even taken to spending short breaks sitting next to you and watching you either draw on your tablet or work away in InDesign in fascination. He asked a question from time to time, and you would answer and explain the process you were doing or the current project you were working on. 

You had been working like a maniac recently in an effort to secure repeat contracts from several companies. Clyde seemed to have noticed and was more attentive in his coffee delivery as the dark circles under your eyes grew darker from working into the small hours.

One afternoon roughly 3 months after you first started frequenting Duck Tape you arrived at settled at your “reserved” table. Clyde put down your coffee and said: “Here ya go Flossie.”

You snorted a laugh and looked up at Clyde with a grin that visibly alarmed him and you said “Sorry, what!?”

“What? what did I say?!”

“You called me Flossie!” You laughed.

Colour tinged Clyde’s cheeks. “Oh shit sorry y/n, but ya hair reminds me of damn candy floss and-“ he started to ramble.

“My dad used to call me that when I was little!” You cut him off as you grinned up at him, “bits of my hair used to get in his face when I insisted on sleeping in my parent’s bed and he used to say, ‘your damn hair Flossie!’”

Clyde’s accidental pet name admission seemed to shift things. He seemed a lot less flustered. And your conversations seemed to get longer. You were also now exclusively Flossie or Floss, but only when no one else was around.

You took the pet name acquisition out on your vibrator.

———

“So Floss, when are ya gonna actually have a real drink here?” Clyde enquired one particularly warm afternoon as you packed away your things. You looked up surprised and met Clyde’s intense but gentle gaze.

“Well I guess I could come back in a few hours” you shrugged, “I’m just about to wrap up my current project this evening.”

Clyde thumped the bar with his (real) hand, making you jump slightly “We will celebrate then”.

We you mused. Butterflies stormed your stomach.

“Alrighty then sir, see you in a few hours,” you said to Clyde as you shrugged on your backpack.

“See ya Floss”

You half powerwalked home with absolutely no intention of doing more work. Fuck that. This is the cue you had hoped for. You had been far too shy and socially anxious to rock up during the evening on your own accord. Instead preferring to work into the night or curl up on the couch with a TV show, all whilst thinking about that handsome man, Clyde.

You were filled with nerves as you showered, exfoliated, shaved, and washed your hair. “Jesus Christ”, you muttered to yourself as you looked into the mirror. This isn’t a date you reminded yourself, but you felt like for a guy like Clyde this was as close to it as it gets. Not that he isn’t gentlemanly, more that he is too shy to ask outright. And you certainly weren’t one to make the first move either.

Being aware that Clyde had only ever seen you in borderline boring ‘work outfits’, which for you were soft tees and jeans or loose fitting dresses and leggings. You were a creature of comfort. You slipped on your favourite pastel pink, barely-there thong and matching the lacey bra. Nice lingerie was something you treated yourself with often. You then spent far too long rummaging around in your closet for something that was neither too dressy, nor too casual. Eventually, you settled on a knee-length casual dress that fitted your waist nicely and accentuated your hourglass shape. You applied some fairly minimal makeup, as you did every day and haphazardly pinned back your wild locks. Content that you looked neither too dressy or too casual you spent the next half an hour agonizing over whether it was too early to go.

You anxiously walked the short walk to Duck Tape at 7 pm. The car park was notably fuller than when you usually visited, not that that was a hard feat. You could hear the chatter and sound of music floating out of the normally quiet bar as you crossed the parking lot. You pushed open the screen door after a few deep yoga breathes and the comforting smell of wood and beer greeted you. You noticed Clyde had snapped his head up the second the door creaked, as if on high alert. His up and down scan of your body did not go unnoticed by you but seemingly did to everyone else in the bar as they carried on chatting loudly.

You walked over to the bar and slipped into a bar stool giving Clyde a grin.

“Evenin’ Fl-, y/n” his stumble of names made you giggle and he winked at you.

“May I please have a vodka martini” you asked politely with a grin.

“Comin’ right up darlin’!” He said and started to busy himself with preparing.

Darling. Before you even had a chance to think about that the display in front of you made you almost fall off your stool. Clyde was skilful, making a martini for you with one hand, complete with bottle spins and throws. It was fucking erotic. Your mouth was still hanging open as he slides the drink towards you. “Holy fucking shit Clyde, that was amazing” you exclaimed, looking up at him with raised eyebrows.

His cheeks became a bit pink as he shrugged it off “Lots of practice s’all”. Just as you brought the glass to your lips a pretty blonde sat in the stool next to you and put a hand on your shoulder “you must be y/n?!” You nodded, puzzled, and tried to shoot a look at Clyde but he was attending to another customer.

“So ya’ll are the one my big teddy bear of a brother is smiling about all the time! I swear to god I have never seen him so dedicated to opening the bar on time!”

Before you had a chance to react she was yelling “Clyde! Get me a wine will ya!”

Clyde turned and saw her sitting next to you and you saw a slight flash of panic pass across his face.

“Mellie, leave her alone…” he almost groaned.

She turned back to you and must have noted the blazing red that now graced your cheeks. She leaned in and whispered in your ear “I don’t know what you are doing but keep it up, I haven’t seen him this happy since he came back from Iraq.”

She gave your back a pat and jumped off the stool. Sticking her tongue out at Clyde as she walked off. You noticed Clyde trying to read your face, so you just sipped the martini as nonchalantly as possible. “Sorry about her” he muttered, “she likes to get in everyone’s business.”

You shrugged “she seems lovely, Clyde.”

As the night went on you chatted on and off with Clyde and various people who sat next to you at the bar. You remained in awe of Clyde’s barman skills, although no one else seemed at all surprised when he twirled bottles and shook drinks with absolute ease. You tried to ignore the growing throb between your legs as drink after drink was set in front of you by that giant hand.

It was a weeknight, so fairly empty by 10 pm, and Clyde migrated to the other side of the bar and sat next to you as he sipped a whiskey on the rocks slowly. “You look pretty Floss” he murmured to you soon after sitting down. Feeling slightly tipsy you giggled and rubbed his bicep, “you aren’t so bad yourself handsome!” God that bicep felt strong. You saw a slight blush tinged his cheeks. You chatted away for a while, and both failed to notice you were the only two left. Clyde had downed a few whiskeys, which seemed to have loosened him up as he had reached around and rested his good arm on the back of your chair comfortably.

At 11 you helped Clyde clean up and put the chairs on the tables so the floor could be swept in the morning. You perched on the bar waiting while Clyde took the rubbish out back. He came back and stood in front of you, from your position sitting on the bar you were actually almost eye to eye. Liquid courage seems to have possession of your limbs as you swung your legs out and wrapped them around Clyde and pulled him close to you. He smiled and raised an eyebrow, “whatcha doing Floss….?”

You looked him in the eye and grinned, placing your hands on his broad shoulders so his hair tickled your hands. “Mellie told me a secret” you whispered through your grin. Clyde groaned a little but his smile remained. You leaned forward and swept his hair away from his ear so you could whisper in it. “She told me that I make you happy.” You sat back and beamed at him. He studied your face for a second and then his big hand was behind your head and pulling you towards him.

Your lips met, he tasted like whiskey and his lips were soft. So, so soft. He pulled back and murmured “You do darlin’, you do.” It was your turn to pull him in, oh how you had been wanting to put your hands in those long locks, and when you did it was even better than you had imagined. You sucked his bottom lip as his moustache tickled your face. You licked along the seam of his mouth, eliciting the most heavenly groan. You pulled back with a giggle, one of your hands still combing through his hair. “Ya gonna kill me Floss,” he said in a husky voice. “Well you better walk me home before you have a heart attack,” you said with a coy smile as you jumped off the bar and strode towards the door purposefully.

You had never seen the man move so fast, he practically ran to his office to get the keys to lock up, pulling doors shutters shut at an impressive pace. After locking the front door he turned to you and you extended your hand and said: “I want a hand hug please.” He chuckled and took your hand. Conversation flowed easily on the way to your house and before you knew it you were at the front door, you unlocked it and practically dragged Clyde inside.

You turned and pulled Clyde’s head down and purred “Take me to bed.”

Clyde’s turned his head and looked you straight in the eye and growled: “Oh sweetheart, I thought you would never ask”. In one quick motion he squatted slightly and picked you up with one arm causing you to squeal. He somehow seemed to know where the bedroom was and sat down with you still in his arm on the bed. His prosthetic arm seemed to be in his way, “do you want to take that off?” You asked, raising an eyebrow, at him. “Oh don’t worry darlin’ I don’t want to freak you out, having half an arm n all” he smiled.

“I love your arms, I think they are so fucking sexy, honestly, take it off if you will be more comfortable” you insisted as you rubbed his upper arms affectionately.

“Well, ok, but you just tell me if ya want me to put it back on darlin’.” He reached and pulled off the metal prosthetic, you took it and carefully placed it on your dressing table. Still sitting on the edge of the bed, Clyde smiled gently at you. You climbed into his lap, onto your knees so you were straddling him and ran your hands down his arms, the back up to his face and into his hair, pressing your forehead against his. He sighed and responded by running his hand up and down your back. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” you whispered.

“Me too Floss, ya so beautiful darlin’, I was just too chicken-shit to tell ya” he breathed. His lips met yours feverishly and you explored each other’s mouths, your hands were fumbling with his shirt buttons, his one hand trying to push down your dress straps. You were both failing spectacularly and you quickly stood and ripped your whole dress off over your head.

“Holy shit” he muttered as he drank in your pink lacy bra and tiny thong. Blushing you bent down and kissed his lips lightly before helping him pull off his shirt. His torso was toned and that glorious happy trail…. “fuck Clyde you are making me feel a bit self-conscious here” you muttered as you poked your remarkably untoned stomach. He pulled you toward him in a swift movement.

“Now you listen here” he growled quietly as he ran his hand over your hip and then arse giving each cheek a light squeeze, “these curves are the sexiest damn thing I ‘av ever seen darlin” he said as he kissed you right on the stomach. A giggle escaped your lips, you started tugging at his jeans that were now visibly tented at the front. He stood and stripped them off, remaining in a pair of briefs, and oh god, he looked like a big boy. You pushed him up the bed so he was sitting against the head board and climbed into his lap, his erection hard against your increasingly damp, clothed sex.

He ran his hand down your back and expertly unclipped your bra. He moaned at the sight of your hard nipples and full breasts, his hand was on one and his mouth on the other in record time. Even in his large hand, you were a decent handful, and he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it. He gently squeezed as he sucked one nipple and then the other. A loud moan escaped your lips as you threw your head back in ecstasy. “Music to my ears sweetheart, fuck ya have perfect tits” he groaned before he continued his assault on your chest.

Growing impatient you started to grind against his hard clothed cock as he sucked your nipples. Your hand travelled down and palmed it greedily. Clyde pulled back and raised an eyebrow at you with a smirk, “what do you want darlin’?”

All you could do was whine needily.

You reached into his briefs and grasped him, fuck, he was huge. Thick. You gave him a slow pump which caused you both to moan. Truth be told you were usually into far more foreplay, but Goddamn it, this wasn’t the time. Seemingly on the same page, Clyde pulled his briefs down than yours and gripped your waist firmly with his hand and other arm. He looked you in the eye questioningly, you were growing rather fluent in the art of reading Clyde’s microexpressions. “Birth control.” You rasped.

He gave a small nod and then lowered you down onto his rock hard cock with agonising slowness, stopping when you gasped as the tip made contact with your opening. “Jesus fuck don’t stop” you growled, which caused Clyde to chuckle. The stretch was exquisite, you don’t think you had ever moaned so loudly as when you were fully seated. You sat there, muted for a few seconds, eyes closed.

“Holy hell darlin’ you feel so good, fuck, so tight,” Clyde said in a strained voice, “I’m not gonna last long, FUCK.”

You started to move up and down slowly and the sensation caused you to throw your head back, “neither am I” you said through gritted teeth.

You looked down at Clyde, he was watching your breasts bounce as you moved, the sheer sight made you moan louder. His hand was alternating between cupping an arse cheek and tracing the curve of your hip. No one had ever made you feel so sexy.

Suddenly he slipped out and flipped you both, causing you to squeak as you landed on your back. “You are workin’ too hard sweetheart,” he said as he propped your legs on his broad shoulders. You had a magnificent view of his body. Oh, it was… beautiful.

He entered you again with the same cautionary slowness. The new angle was sublime. You felt every inch. As he started to pump you started to babble “oh my god, oh fuck, oh god, feels so good, please don’t stop, fuck!” The feedback causes a low moan to escape Clyde’s mouth. Propping himself with his partial arm he reached and started to rub your clit.

“Oh fuck, that’s going to make me come!” You gasped, looking Clyde straight in the eye.

“That’s the idea darlin’ I ain’t gunna last much longer, your pussy is too perfect.”

The praise sent you over the edge and towards climax as you clenched around Clyde and rolled your eyes back in pure ecstasy. Watching you come sent Clyde over the edge and he shuddered and let out a guttural moan as he came in you.

He pulled out and collapsed next to you. You rolled to face him, reached and started stroking his hair, smiling shyly. His eyes searched yours, before he leant in, kissing you softly on the lips and murmuring “Floss, you are perfect.”

You hummed and buried your face into his neck, his skin was so warm…

Eventually, you got up and ran a bath, and you both got in, sighing contentedly as you leaned back against Clyde’s chest. He stroked your arm mindlessly, as you sat in comfortable silence.

Once in bed, Clyde whispered sweet things in your ear as he stroked your hair. You drifted to sleep in his arms, a smile on your face.

———

Things didn’t really change once your relationship became romantic, however, everyone found out pretty quickly as Jimmy walked in on you kissing at the bar. He had whooped loudly and pulled you both into a group hug.

Mellie had pulled you aside and given you a big hug, her eyes glistened with tears as she told you how happy you were making her brother. “I didn’t know if he was ever going to smile like he used to” she had gushed.

Neither of you was largely comfortable with PDA and you stuck to the usual routine of working at Duck Tape in the day. However, Clyde was spending most nights at your cottage as it was such a short walk. And really, you couldn’t keep your hands off one another.

You found out Clyde was an incredibly generous lover, the man was happy to eat you out for damn near hours, until you were almost crying from the sensitivity, not stopping until you came a number of times. He loved to worship your body, slowly taking in every curve, with his hand or mouth.

Quickies weren’t a thing, which suited you fine actually, as you could never orgasm that fast and having Clyde slowly luxuriate your body was blissful. I mean he did bend you over his desk one quiet day at the bar, but it wasn’t the norm.

—–

Clyde’s face had been between your legs for a good 20 minutes one night, causing you to be in a state of euphoria which erased any verbal control. You moaned loudly “oh daddy pleaseeee”.

Clyde’s head snapped up, eyes flashing. Realising what you said, you giggled with embarrassment. “What did you say?” He growled.

“Daddy?” You offered coyly.

“Oh darlin’, I will be ya daddy, but only if you are a good girl” he rumbled, with a look that suggested you were about to be ravaged.

His flipped you over onto all fours and slapped your arse causing you to moan, the ache between your legs intensified.

“Oh please, please” you begged.

“Who am i?” Clyde demanded.

“Dadddddyyyyyyyy” you whined.

Clyde thrust into you hard and started an uncharacteristically punishing pace.

“Gunna put a baby in you” he puffed “make you mine.”

No one had ever said such a thing to you, but fuck, it was hot as hell.

“Oh yes daddy, please, make me yours!” You cried, your walls spasming around him.

That was Clyde’s undoing, coming hard in you with a loud “AH FUCK!”.

———

TBC?

Leave me prompts for this fic?

I have no idea what I am doing.

🍭

——

Part II

Candy Floss II
The Smut Bucket
Note: to say I was floored at the reaction to my first ever piece of fan fiction, would be an understatement. Thank you so much. *weeps and
2 years ago

“but gay people didn’t exist in the 80s”

yes, you’re right, we all just collectively spawned out of nowhere in 2004 with the release of toxic by britney spears

4 years ago

reblog with your five ultimate biases in the tags!!!!


Tags
4 years ago
Welcome To The World Of “Holy Fuck This Man Is A Whole Unit”
Welcome To The World Of “Holy Fuck This Man Is A Whole Unit”
Welcome To The World Of “Holy Fuck This Man Is A Whole Unit”
Welcome To The World Of “Holy Fuck This Man Is A Whole Unit”

Welcome to the world of “Holy fuck this man is a whole unit”

My five ft tall tranny ass would let him wreck EVERYTHING


Tags
3 years ago

Xialing: A Playlist

image

credit me if you wanna use this header!

She’s My Collar- Gorzilla Ft. Kali Uchis 

Villain- Stella Jang (스텔라장)

YELLOW- Yoh Kamiyama

My Ordinary Life- The Living Tombstone

Little Dark Age- MGMT

Love me Love me Love me- Kikuo

Nobody- Mitski

I Hear a Symphony- Cody Fry

Feeling Good - Michael Bublé

Villain - K/DA ft. Madison Beer & Kim Petras

INFERNO- Sub Urban & Bella Poarch

Therefore I Am- Billie Eilish

7 rings- Ariana Grande

Look What You Made Me Do- Taylor Swift

16 Shots- Stefflon Don

Boss B*tch- Doja Cat

Bang Bang Bang- Sohodolls

Hayloft- Mother Mother

Psycho- Mia Rodriguez

Daisy- Ashnikko

The Curse- Agnes Obel

Burn The House Down- AJR

Beautiful Liar- X Ambassadors

High Enough- K.Flay

Everything Black - Unlike Pluto ft. Mike Taylor

What A Shame- Leyla Blue

Hello Bitches- CL

True Damage - GIANTS (ft. Becky G, Keke Palmer, SOYEON, DUCKWRTH, Thutmose)

Take Over- ft. Jeremy McKinnon, MAX, Henry

A Little Messed Up- june

Lunatic- UPSHAL

People I Don’t Like- UPSHAL

Numbers- Melanie Martinez

Centuries- Fall Out Boy

Stressed Out- Twenty One Pilots

Here (Lucian Remix)- Alessia Cara

Cradles- Sub Urban

Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer

Do It All The Time- I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

All Eyes On Me- Bo Burnham

Choke- I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Copycat- Billie Eilish

Comics- Caravan Palace

Blood//Water- grandson

River- Bishop Briggs

Play With Fire- Sam Tinnesz

Bloody Mary- Lady Gaga

Survivor- 2Wei Cover

Rat- Penelope Scott

Achillies Come Down- Gang of Youths

<3 happy listening

2 years ago

looks a like a cinnamon roll..could kill you

Looks A Like A Cinnamon Roll..could Kill You
Looks A Like A Cinnamon Roll..could Kill You

looks like they could kill you..is a cinnamon roll

Looks A Like A Cinnamon Roll..could Kill You
Looks A Like A Cinnamon Roll..could Kill You

looks like a cinnamon roll..is a cinnamon roll

Looks A Like A Cinnamon Roll..could Kill You
Looks A Like A Cinnamon Roll..could Kill You

looks like they could kill you..would kill you

Looks A Like A Cinnamon Roll..could Kill You
Looks A Like A Cinnamon Roll..could Kill You
5 months ago
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.
Jason Sudeikis Behind The Scenes Of Ted Lasso, Season 3.

Jason Sudeikis behind the scenes of Ted Lasso, season 3.

3 years ago

when did I become a khonshu simp 🧍

2 years ago

bitches be like “this is my comfort show” and it’s a show about a bunch of gay kids with daddy issues running around killing monsters from a different dimension.

its me, i am bitches

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matthew-vettel - Matthew
Matthew

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