Double Executions Don't Leave My Mind

Some art/doodles for my fic burning dirty gas (ao3) :3333

hi

evil corn man

a few more sketches

A greeting for negligent penpals and procrastinating authors. Postcard from my collection, 1911.

There should be a story about an upper class man with a valet, and he's courting an upperclass lady who has a mansion estate with a bunch of maids.

The maids hate the man so much that they're constantly trying to kill him. Poisoned tea, cut brake lines, hired assassins (ronin maids with sniper rifles). They think he's no good for their mistress, and they're probably right.

But they never succeed at any of these attempts, because his valet is sworn to protect him. In fact, he never even finds out they dislike him. It helps that he's a bit of an idiot.

He's finishing up some after dinner refreshments, and his valet is missing. The Lady tells her maids to find him, and he shows up a few minutes later, looking immaculate as usual.

"Apologies sir, there was a bit of trouble with the car (we see a maid cutting the brake line). I asked Lady Alastair's handyman to take a look at it, but it was a bit over his head (a thick pipe narrowly misses the valet's head, and he uppercuts the mechanic). I took it to a nearby garage, but there was a bit of traffic on the way (a second car tries to ram him off the road, and he pulls ahead. In the rear mirror, he sees a maid lean out the side window, and cock an M1 Garand). No need to worry sir, It's all sorted now (we see him standing by a pit, covered in blood and grease and gasoline, looking down at the twisted still-burning remains of the other car). Are you ready to depart, sir?"

(He also doesn't think his employer should be with Lady Alastair, but unlike the maids, he doesn't want to make a fuss about it.)

Imagine getting surprise birthday'd right after being told (read: getting sent a fax message) from corporate that you and everyone on your team are getting laid off... 😬 awkward! But hey, at least you can all enjoy some cake! Oh, you don't like sweets? Nevermind that, I'm sure you'll do a great job cutting it up and serving it for your coworkers to enjoy at least! Are you kidding me.

if you’re craving chocolate muffins after the olympic muffin man videos, jordan the stallion on tiktok has the recipe for you

"Just keep pullin' at it. That worked for all of us."

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