My Tumblr App Literally Crashes When I Try To Click The Link OMFG 😭😭😭😭😭

My Tumblr app literally crashes when I try to click the link OMFG 😭😭😭😭😭

Okay y’all

I have made a community call “chuckle simpwiches ” for all our crazy crazy statements if you want an invite please comment it dm me!

@eclipsee-404 @goos-you @teslasucks37 @shhhhh-secrets @reddsl1mer @sl1merr @sIcmml @melxdigz @lapseOfreason

More Posts from Melrambles and Others

melrambles

3 months ago

PLEASE MORE PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

—- dilf next door. ft ted nivison. ᝰ

summary: after months you finally have a next-door neighbour again! you weren't expecting it to be a recentlly divorced dilf, though. turns out you have quite the effect on him. explains why he's jerking off to you from the window.

— tags: smut/pwp, dilf!ted, ted is a perv, masturbation, light dirty talk, objectifcation,

authors note: you guys said you'd be interested in dilf ted, so here you go!! still just some headcanons for now, but i tried to make it a lil longer as a treat. hope you all enjoy, and don't forget to lmk your thoughts! ໒꒰ྀི ╹ ˕╹ ꒱ྀིა

it started off as something simple and innocent

recently someone had moved next door to you, which was great! you hadn't had a next-door neighbour in months now

you had baked cookies for them, a small welcoming gift from yourself, and so you could let them know you were just next door if you were needed

and as soon as the door opened—

oh. he was fucking handsome

he was tall— over a head taller than you anyways— glasses slightly askew, fluffy brown hair and a grown out moustache to round it all off

he leaned against the doorframe with a surprised expression, sweet smile on his face

"oh? these are for me?" he asks after a moment of silence, eyeing the cookies

however you were holding them at your chest, so you couldn't tell where he was looking

(it was absolutely at your chest)

you finally stutter out a response, a small "oh! yes— yes, they're for you!" as you hand over the tray, as well as letting him know you're next door if he ever needs you

you watch as his eyes quickly trail your frame, before his smile grows and he gives you a wink

"appreciate it, thank you," he nods, and the conversation is quickly over

he seemed sweet enough, if you ignore the fact you couldn't tell he was looking at your tits

but it's fine, you tell yourself. you're just overthinking

you were, in fact, not overthinking

ted watches as you walk back to your house, eyes lingering on your hips as they sway back and forth

the rest of the night, he's left thinking about what it'd be like to hold your soft sides as he pounds into you

but whoa, hey

he's getting ahead of himself, but he passes it off as divorce blues. said divorce blues just being fucking horny

couldn't give a shit about his ex, not after how she treated him, and how she lied to their kids

anyways.

ted has a morning routine, where the first thing he does is go to the kitchen and make a cup of coffee. something he had done for years

usually he'd just read the morning paper, or have a scroll on his phone, which he did do after the move

so now it had been a couple of weeks since he had moved in, and he was still in his routine

but this morning, when he was walking by to sit at the coffee table, something outside caught his eye

he took a few steps back, peering through the kitchen window to see what it was

lo and behold— it was you, wearing skimpy shorts and a tank top as you tended to your overgrown garden

at first he was watching out of genuine interest of what you were doing, but slowly and surely, it stemmed into something else

watching as you bent over to water the flowers that were still living, your shorts barely able to contain your soft ass

or when you reached over to grab a hanging plant, pushing your chest out as your tits were spilling over your little tank top

ted feels his boxers tightening, a small fuck escaping his lips as he let out a low chuckle to himself

ted's glasses slip down his nose as he leans closer to the window, trying to get a better view and the laughable excuse of clothing that you've currently got on

his free hand wanders lower, disappearing under the waistband of his sweats and moves into his boxers, gripping his throbbing cock as his eyes stay trained on your figure

his coffee is long forgotten, as he lets his fingers stroke slow, teasing movements along himself as he watches you stretch, reacj and bend

"keep doing that, sweetheart. just like that... fuck, you don't even know how hard you make me," he whispers to himself, filth falling from his lips at a rapid pace as he stares

you do a stretch as you stand up, and the view ted has is breathtaking, to the point he knows he won't last if he keeps staring

he rests his head against the window with a thud, letting out a deep groan as he shuts his eyes momentarily

when he's ready, he lifts his head back up and—

oh fuck. you're staring right at him with a confused face

you mouth a "you okay?" to him, tilting your head as you do so

of course you'd hear the fucking thud his head made

ted's eyes widen for a second, as he's almost been caught red-handed. however, his lips curve into a slow, devilish smirk.

he doesn't move, rather, he grabs his coffee cup from the side, and just nods and raises it to you, mouthing a "perfect" to you

as he does this, his hand is still palming and stroking his cock, the fact you're so innocent to his perverted actions turning him on even more

you just smile and nod at him, going back to your gardening and letting ted get a nice view of your ass again in the meantime

his tongue swipes over his bottom lip, jerking himself off faster as he can feel himself getting closer to the edge

the images in his head of him bending you over and fucking you, forcing you on your knees to take his cock— everything he imagines just pushes him closer to the edge and relief he's chasing

and it's not long until ted is cumming in his boxers, moaning loudly as he rests his forehead against his arm, biting his lip as he tries to shut himself up

he's bucking into his hand, feeling the hot cum spurt over it while he pants heavily at the orgasm that washes over him

it takes him a while to recover, and he just stands there for a bit, regaining his composure and trying to catch his breath

but one thing is for sure

this is part of his routine now.

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melrambles

3 months ago

USA people! Buy NOTHING Feb 28 2025. Not anything. 24 hours. No spending. Buy the day before or after but nothing. NOTHING. February 28 2025. Not gas. Not milk. Not something on a gaming app. Not a penny spent. (Only option in a crisis is local small mom and pop. Nothing. Else.) Promise me. Commit. 1 day. 1 day to scare the shit out of them that they don't get to follow the bullshit executive orders. They don't get to be cowards. If they do, it costs. It costs.

Then, if you can join me for Phase 2. March 7 2025 thtough March 14 2025? No Amazon. None. 1 week. No orders. Not a single item. Not one ebook. Nothing. 1 week. Just 1.

If you live outside the USA boycott US products on February 28 2025 and stand in solidarity with us and also join us for the week of no Amazon.

Are you with me?

Spread the word.

196K notes View Post

melrambles

1 month ago

new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want

121K notes View Post

melrambles

2 months ago

IM ALL THREE AND I DO NOT HAVE A PISS KINK ❗❗❗

Love to everyone who has it though 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨