Reblog This If Your Posts Don't Have Expiration Dates.

Reblog this if your posts don't have expiration dates.

So that your followers know it’s okay to dig through your blog and send in memes, starters, or responses to opens days, weeks, or months after they’ve been first posted.

vent

i had an ex who for the entirety of our relationship would rarely ever refer to me as any pet name including “boy.” “pretty boy,” “good boy,” “sweet boy,” even “my boyfriend,” said maybe 3-4 times over a 10 month period.

he said it was because i liked being called that so much, he didn’t want them to lose their magic, so he used them only for special occasions.

i found out about 6-7 months in that he had been degendering me the entire time. meaning that he had been viewing me as genderless for his own comfort, because despite what he told me, he still viewed himself as straight.

looking back it’s incredibly obvious. he only ever used they/them pronouns for me, and called me his partner.

i’m just ashamed i stayed with him after i found out.

7 notes View Post

melrambles

3 months ago

Didn't work out BUT I won't give up and I will try different methods over time. Last night I used the raven method and if y'all have any tips then please please PLEASE let me know 🥰🥰

Will try shifting for the first time in ages and I'll tell y'all how it went in the morning!! (EST core) 😈😈

15 notes View Post

melrambles

3 months ago

147K notes View Post

melrambles

1 month ago

Okay so hear me out... Threesome, maybe? 🙏🙏

And maybe... Juuuust maybe... A love triangle kinda relationship? 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

all i think of is you

contents - SMUT, reader is afab, (y/n) used like once, pet names!, reader and schlatt are exs, reader and ted fuck, penis in vagina sex, oral (f!receiving), praise, ted being a sweet lover, phone call while having sex

authors note // hi everyone! i missed writing ted so hehehe. this can be read as a stand alone fic or part two to messy! shoutout to my roommate for helping me ideate.

it wasn’t a secret that you and schlatt dated once; once it was leaked, it was all over the internet, and it put a strain on your relationship. it was tiring everytime you and schlatt went out or were seen in a video together. The comments would be filled with people talking about you two. you got sick of people coming into your stream comments and asking about schlatt and the cats, so you broke up with him. it wasn’t easy for either of you, but you still told yourself it was what needed to happen. you took a few months off streaming and only streamed with a green screen behind you so people wouldn’t ask any more questions about where or who you lived with. that who being ted. yes, you moved in with one of schlatt’s friends. was it the smartest idea? maybe not. was it the best option you had at the time? maybe not, but hey, the rent wasn’t that bad. as you’re about to begin another tuesday stream, you feel like you’re forgetting something, but you can't place your finger on it. you start the stream and check your phone for a few minutes as people file in before you switch to your face cam. “hey everyone,” you then realize you forgot to pull your green screen up, “oh goddamnit,” you lean down to pull it up. what you didn’t expect was ted’s desk set up to be in full view of your camera. “what?” he asks, turning to face you. “forgot my green screen.” you turn back around and already see the damage in your comments.

“OMG TED?!?!?!”

“hiiii tedddd!”

“Holy shit is that ted nivision?”

you take a breath and then say, “this is the only time i’m gonna say this. yes, i’m living with ted. if any of you are freaks about it, you’re gonna be banned, alright, y’all? " You ask your chat and wait a beat, looking at comments and seeing people calm down a little before continuing with the stream you had planned.

it’s a few months past; you and ted have a nighttime routine at this point. you would shower and hang out on your bed for an hour or two before turning your lights off and getting into bed. usually, in that hour or two, ted would join you on your bed and talk about your days or cuddle and watch his tiktok feed together. ted was sat cris cross on the end of the bed, and you were laying on your back tonight and talking about a video idea he had. “no but have you thought about the bubba gump idea?” you ask again with a knowing smile on your face. you knew he wasn’t going to do it; you just loved messing with the man. “no, (y/n), eddie and i are not going to every bubba gump in the country.” he replies with a hand over his face. “no replace eddie with me.” you offer. “oh, well that changes everything.” ted joked, smiles on both your faces. you feel your phone buzz next to you, and a picture of schlatt appears on your screen as he's trying to call you. you never mentioned to ted that you and him were still talking, let alone flirting.

you look down at the screen and see his face and quickly turn it over, but not fast enough for ted to not see it. “i thought you guys were zero contact.” ted commented. “um, we were, but i broke it last week so we’ve been talking again.” you lied. you and schlatt stayed in contact since you broke up, and both of you were hiding it from ted. “oh well, good for you,” ted moves to get up; there’s a noticeable shift in the mood, “i’m gonna go to bed, i’ll see you in the morning.” “wait, ted,” you sit up to grab his hand before he completely leaves your room, “listen, we’re just friends. Its all it is.” “yeah, i just think you could do better.” ted boldly notes, looking down at you from his standing position. your head cocks to the side at his comment, “and what, you think you can give me better?” ted huffs, amused; his hand holds your neck with his thumb at your jaw, “actually yeah. can i show you?” you take a beat, seeing the missed call from schlatt on your phone but feeling ted’s hand on your neck was intoxicating. your eyes met his, “ok, yeah. show me what you got.” that’s all it could for ted’s lips to crash into yours as his free hand held your waist and his other hand remained on your neck.

you hold onto his hands and move your body so you’re right against him. his head moves to the side as you moan into the kiss. “wow, already worked up?” he teases. “shut up.” you bite back as he kisses down your neck. the hand on your waist moves to the side of your boob, waiting for approval to touch it. you help and move his hand onto it. your eyes roll back at the contact as he kneds your breast and brushes your nipple. your hand moves to his neck to tilt his head back up to yours as you continue to kiss him. as you do, you reach down to your shirt and remove it, leaving you just in your underwear and sleep shorts. ted looks down at you again and feels lightheaded. “fuck, i need to be inside of you or something. please, can i fuck you.” he just about begs at this point. “get to it, teddy.” and he does, almost ripping his shirt, shorts, and underwear off and pulling your body to the edge of the bed as you lay with your back on the bed and your legs hanging over the side. you can feel how hard he is on your thigh as he leans down to kiss you again. you pull your legs up to remove your shorts and underwear, which are soaked at this point. you toss them into the pile of sleep clothes that will be sorted out in the morning.

ted’s cock grinds on your clit while he’s kissing you. you lift your hips up and feel his tip against your entrance and moan into his mouth at the contact. ted pulls away, a sly smile on his face, “yeah? you’re absolutely soaked for me baby.” “god, please, i need you, ted,” you babble with your eyes closed, head back, and hands on his chest. “yeah? what do you need from me? hmm?” he’s playing it up at this point, making you ask for everything you need. your eyes open, glassy and full, and look at him, “please i need you dick in me, i wanna feel you teddy.” you plead. “well, since you asked so nicely-” he enters you, and you can feel every vein on him. your mouth falls open, and ted kisses around your neck, keeping an eye on you to ensure it’s not too much. your hands wrap around his shoulders, and he enters more of himself into you. you relax into the bed until you take all he’s giving you. ted draws away from you, keeping hands on your hips as he thrusts so gently and lovingly into you. “fuck, oh my god, ted. feels so good,” is all you’re able to get out as your eyes roll into the back of your head from pleasure. ted grabs your hips tighters as he tries you slowly fuck you rougher, “yeah? feels good, this pussy keeps on cliching down on me so i have to be doing something right.” he thrusts sharper into you, and you see stars as your back arches. all you can hear is his gentle praises of “so good baby,” “so fucking pretty,” and “so goddamn tight on my dick honey,” the moans you’re exhaling, and the sounds of ted’s skin slapping into yours. this continues until you feel a buzz in the bed and reach for your phone. in a foolish move, you flip your phone screen up, and it’s schlatt calling you again. ted sees this happen and speaks up, “answer it.” your head snaps to ted and starts to shake. you cant muster anywords, so he takes the phone from you. a feeling of relief washes over your body as you relax again, only for ted to tell you, “don’t let him know we’re fucking.” answering the call and hands the phone to you. his rough thrusts turn into slow drags of his cock against your wall as your shaky hand takes the phone from him and puts it up to your ear. “hey schlatt.” you answer, only able to focus on ted as he watches you try and keep your composer. “hey toots, whatcha up to?” he replies. “um nothing,” you pause as you feel your core start to tighten as your legs move to rest your heels on the bed frame, “um nothing, just hanging out with ted.” your mouth opens to let out a silence moan. “cool, you guys doing anything tonight?” he asks. “nope, i was, fuck, i was about to go to bed, so you ca-called at the right time.” you tell schlatt as ted’s hands are holding your legs to your chest continuing with his deep thrusts. “i’ll letcha go then, good night, love you.” he tells you, waiting for you to parrot the statements back to him. “yeah, um good night, talk to you later.” you quickly hang up the phone then push it away from you. “fuck i need to come ted. please ted, please, please.” you beg. “so good for asking, come on baby, come for me on my cock.” you feel your pussy tighten on ted as you feel a warmth enter you. ted is still lazily thrusting into you as he leans down to whisper, “you were super tight on my cock when you came, sweetheart. Did it feel good?” god, if you could come again, you would when ted called you, sweetheart, no one had ever used that pet name before for you, and it felt like you were being warmed from the inside out when he used it.

your reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by ted smiles, kisses your cheek, and draws away again. his cock leaves you, and as you’re about to whine and complain, you feel his tongue lapping at your combined cum spread through your folds. your hand finds purchase in his hair as you grip and pull him in more. ted pulls his head away as you look at him confused. “just trying to clean you up, sweetie,” he tells you with a sickly sweet smile, and he rises to get back into bed with you. you reach to pull the covers down and then over both of you, snuggling into each other. ted kisses the side of your head as he relaxes into your pillow and lets sleep take him. everything he felt for you was expressed through his moment of passion, and he would gladly expand on it in the morning. you were left with your thoughts before you nodded off, and the only thing you could think of was ted and the weight of his body next to yours.

71 notes View Post

melrambles

1 month ago

Of course I would what kind of a question is that 🤨🤨🤨

peach ice cream when :(

23 notes View Post

melrambles

2 months ago

Mmmmmmmm 🤤🤤🤤🤤

homosexual homeownership (1/2)

charlie slimecicle x male!reader (reference to reader having a dick, use of the word “sir,” and some more smaller things)

mild nsfw, no porn but plenty of horniness

contains swearing

sorry this took so long, i hope you like it :]

You should be very proud of yourself. Only 28, and already a proud homeowner, with a white picket fence and everything. Sure, you lacked a nuclear family, but considering your distaste for children and preference for men over women, you’d known better than to hope for anything similar.

Yes, it could be a little lonely sometimes, but that’s why you had your work, and your saltwater fish tank, and your cat, Mortimer. And, of course, your beloved lawn.

Nothing pleased you more than the smell of freshly cut grass, the stripes of green leading from your house to the fence and back, the sprinklers refreshing each blade during periods without rain.

Your friends from the city often teased you about your almost erotic joy, calling you an old man. They even gave you a sign that read “KEEP OFF GRASS,” as if you’d chase off any whippersnappers that dare set foot on it.

It was with these same friends that you’d gotten drunk with that night in late June, the ones who rushed to your side the moment you hit the ground after you fell off the skateboard, and the ones that rode with you to the emergency room. They apologized again and again, even though it had been your idea to begin with, and promised to help you with anything you needed while you healed.

Anything except mowing your lawn this weekend, apparently. You cursed their names when you realized you’d have to confront the elephant in the room, or rather, next door. Charlie.

Always kind to you, always offering help or friendship, and always annoyingly handsome. Unfortunately, he just happened to be one of those people you had to avoid. Your gut told you so. But you were running out of options, and he was just a house away, so you knocked on his door. Thankfully, he accepted your offer of $30 each time he worked for you, and you planned for the following Sunday morning.

He showed up at your door ten minutes late, in a muscle tank that did nothing if not piss you off. The way it displayed his biceps was infuriating.

“Morning! How are you? How’s the ankle?”

“Fine and fine, thank you Charles. Yourself?”

“I’m good! You can call me Charlie, though. Everyone does.”

“Okay then, Charlie…” It felt overly friendly, uncomfortable. You would rather just call him Charles, but it wouldn’t be very polite to ignore his wishes. “Let me show you where the mower is. This way, please.”

A more hospitable host would have offered him something to eat or drink before putting him to work, but something inside you was getting a little too excited. Your palms were sweaty as they gripped your crutches, and every time you glanced back to see if he was following, that feeling squirmed in your chest, and you heard blood rush in your ears. You needed to get him out of your sight, fast.

“Here she- um, it, is. Durable and easy to use. You shouldn’t have any problems.”

“Gotcha. You want front and back, right?”

“Yes, and please be very thorough from the back. Wi- with the back, sorry. Um. There’s a lot of dandelions that need to be cut.”

“Of course, I’ll be very thorough,” he chuckled. “Anything else?”

“I believe that’s all. The back door will be open, come- come in if you need anything.” God, stop stuttering.

With that, Charlie pulled the mower out of the garage and set out working on the front yard.

You tried passing time by any means possible. You had even broken your strict work-life balance and checked your email on a weekend. But eventually you had to peek out the window.

The front was immaculate, done in pretty straight lines just the way you liked. You hadn’t even told him that, as you were trying not to be difficult, but it seemed he read your mind. And your heart definitely wasn't fluttering over that.

You started heading towards the back to look through the glass door, and as soon as it was in view, you stopped dead in your tracks.

He was taking off his shirt.

Your mind was flooded with all the thoughts and feelings you had been trying to hold back. Sweat was dripping off Charlie’s glistening skin, his muscles practically begging to be touched, caressed, licked, bitten. His expression was not helping either, lips agape, eyes closed as he took a breath. All of it was too much to ignore any longer, combined with the embarrassing fact that it had been two years since your last night with a man. Finally, you allowed yourself to gaze at him with desperate lust, your cock beginning to harden.

And, of course, that’s when he started heading towards you.

A yelp escaped your throat. You clumsily scrambled away from the door and around the closest corner, crutches clicking against the hardwood floor.

Safely hidden, you reassessed your situation. You were staring at your neighbor, who you hired to mow your lawn, while he was shirtless, because you are a pathetic gay incel. And don’t forget the bonus points for pathetically running away from him when you were almost caught. Was there anything else you could screw up today? God, why couldn’t you have asked another neighbor? This never would have happened if you’d just asked that older guy from down the street. Oh, fuck, Charlie was your next door neighbor. If you embarrass yourself in front of him, you have to see him at least once a week for the rest of your life, or until one of you moved, and looking at the state of the housing market, that wouldn’t happen for quite a while, if ever. Not to mention, since you were paying him, were you technically his employer? Was this workplace harassment? God, you are so fu—

“Hello? Sir, are you here? I need your help with something, if you don’t mind?”

Swallowing your nerves (and whatever was stirred up with the word “sir”), you put on a neutral face and, as naturally as possible, ambled back to where his voice was coming from.

“Yes, um, Charlie?” Don’t stare at his chest don’t stare at his chest don’t stare…

“Yeah, so it’s getting pretty hot and sunny out there, so I can’t really work comfortably with my shirt on, but I forgot to put on sunscreen this morning? I wasn’t expecting it to get hot so fast. Do you have any I could use, please?”

“O-of course. Just a second.” Getting up and down stairs was rather time consuming, but you rushed through it as quickly and safely as possible. “Here, use as much as you need.”

“Thanks! I really appreciate it.” Damn, that smile could warm the heart of Putin.

You desperately avoided looking at him, to the best of your ability, as he smoothed the cream into his sculpted body.

“Sorry, um, could you get my back please?”

Oh my god, kill me now. “Sure, no problem.”

He turned around, and, fuck, you always had a thing for muscular backs.

All you had to do was calmly rub the sunscreen onto his back. Ensure it covers his skin enough to prevent burns, but don’t be too dedicated. At least from this angle it was easier to hide your hard-on.

His skin was warm and damp, smooth and soft, carrying that addicting man-smell, natural and a bit sweet, with occasional sharp notes of Old Spice deodorant. This guy was a walking drug for you, an intoxicating mix of pleasure and pain. This was either your personal heaven, or hell— you couldn’t tell which.

“Thanks, sir, I think that’s good.”

“Great, um, good. Okay. Let me know if you need anything else. Like water. It’s hot out there, do you need some water?”

“That would be perfect, actually, thank you!”

You sat at the kitchen table with him as he drank his glass, unsure of what else to do. “You seem a bit nervous, sir, are you okay?”

“Me? Perfectly fine, I’m sorry, I’m just not used to company.”

“Right, you live here alone, huh? How’d you manage that?”

“It was an inheritance, actually, from my grandmother a few years ago.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about your grandmother. Were you close?”

“Very. But, I mean, it’s okay. The house reminds me of her.” You smiled, allowing your memories to calm you down. “Sometimes I can still smell her perfume. It’s like she’s visiting me.”

“That’s sweet. You’re lucky you had such a good relationship with her.”

“I am. What about you, how did you end up a homeowner?”

“Oh, I’m not,” he said in that adorable half-laughing voice. “I’m just renting. But my landlord said she might sell it at some point, and she’d give me a discount if I was interested.”

“Ah. Are you? Interested, I mean?”

“I am, I guess. It’s a nice house, probably nicer than what I could afford to pay full price for. And, you know, the neighbors are nice.“ His little smile made his dimples show. You couldn’t help but smile, too.

“Hah, well, I don’t know. I’ve heard they can be pretty anal about their lawns.”

“Nahhh, they’re just proud of their homes, and want them to look pretty. I get it, and I don’t mind helping a neighbor in need with a lawn in disarray.”

“Well, thank you. I know this isn’t a small favor.”

“No problem at all. I could always use a little extra cash, and someone to talk to.”

The glass he was sipping at was, unfortunately, empty. “I guess I better get back at it…”

“Yes, don’t let me keep you, sorry.”

His eyes met yours as he stood up. “You know, if you wanted to keep an eye on things, I wouldn’t be insulted or anything. I could bring a chair onto the deck for you.”

“I don’t know…” He was offering to let you watch him mow? To do nothing but stare at his half-clothed body? Was he…? No, nevermind, couldn’t be.

Despite your answer, Charlie was already carrying a chair out for you, lifting it like it was nothing to him. “It’s fine! Come on out, the fresh air is great.”

You begrudgingly followed his instructions. He took your crutches and propped them up against the side of the house, close enough for you to reach if you needed to.

And there you sat, watching your handsome neighbor mow your lawn, turning it from a dandelion breeding ground into manicured, beautiful, trimmed green grass. Was there anything more attractive than a man with a talent for yardwork?