Thinking About How Worn Out Arthur Must Look And How Much Dried Blood Is On Him.

Chip has moved in the shadows his entire life almost, he only stood out when he wanted to- when he knew he needed to.

Because he's a thief first and foremost, a bastard, with silent footsteps and the ability to dodge impossibly- to avoid and sneak past at every turn.

But when Jay and Gillion entered the scene, that changed.

When he looks at them he must admit he shines a little brighter, grins a little wider, stands a little taller- but it's not just that... Jay and Gillion are the sun and the moon, and when they turn to look at him, no matter how he tries to hide, to blend in to his surroundings, they always find him. Left, right and centre.

And it makes him feel vulnerable. But it makes him feel seen.

It's a terrifying feeling, having those eyes pierce through him and skewer him right through the middle. The one defense measure he's used his whole life, the thing that's kept him alive all this time- stolen away from him in the blink of an eye, in the turn of a head and the shine of a smile.

Yes, it feels a little bit like dying- but doesn't it also feel a little like love?

For the first time since he was taken on board and given a family, a sister; all of who were torn away from him, he is being looked at like a living, breathing, feeling thing.

Like running out onto the sunlit deck with not a fear in the world, like watching moonlight glimmer on the ocean and hoping to one day swim down there and feel it, like defeating his sister in their play battle and reigning victorious, King of the overseas, King of it all.

That feeling is distant to him now, hidden from the sun for so many years, staying far away from the chill of moonlit waters. All this time, it's felt unfair to him to know that he is alive when they are not. So he avoids sensation, avoids the gold and silver the world offers him freely.

Until he find the gold of a girl he can't help but run with, the silver of a boy who's hand is cool in his, as he helps him breach the surface of the swaying ocean.

Jay drags him out onto the sunny deck to spar, to dance, to laugh and navigate their course together.

Gillion grabs his hand and pulls him down into the cold midnight waters, pulling him through glimmering waves and showing him even more beautiful things he's never seen underneath it all.

Sometimes he wonders, when he sees Gillion pray or Jay drift, when their eyes begin to glow and magic seems to spill from their lips, seeping out of the corners of their mouth, if their goddesses ever missed him- if they ever noticed his absence, or more prominently, his return.

no because this makes SO MUCH sense

extremely fucked up and evil thought about the undersea: so we know there are some laws that, when broken, are punishable by death. gillion has stated before that, as the champion of the undersea, he had a lot of duties and didn't enjoy many of them. do you think, when a crime of enough severity was committed, that the elders made gillion fulfill the role of executioner.

HAPPY BDAY ANGEL DUST

What's wrong with him (derogatory)

yeah.

the albatrio! (+earl)

//Spoilers for Riptide 109 Decided to do a little re-watch today and the way grizzly describes this scene is so

LISTEN fish and chips is NOT mutual pining to me, it is one-sided on Chip's side. Not because Gillion doesn't love him back, but because Gillion accepts whatever love he is given and it doesn't occur to him to expect or demand any more. Gillion is very happy to be in a romantic relationship with Chip, but he's also happy to just be friends/family/whatever queerplatonic familial closeness Albatrio have going on. There's no pining on Gillion's side, because Gillion has already got a family he never would have expected to be blessed with, and it doesn’t occur to him to expect anything more than what has already far exceeded his expectations.

And this is where the angst comes in, because as we know, Chip:

hates himself and thinks he's a burden on everyone around him and thinks he’s unworthy of love

puts Gillion on a pedestal and thinks he’s this wonderful perfect paragon who Chip can never come close to measuring up to

has internalised homophobia and a crippling shame at the thought of ever revealing his dependence on others

So on the one hand we have Chip, with all these internal reasons why he can never bring himself to make the first move, because he thinks Gill would be disgusted at his presumption for thinking someone as amazing as Gill could possibly deserve someone as awful as Chip - and on the other hand we have Gillion, who is never going to make the first move because it would never occur to him to expect more love than he’s been granted, and would likewise consider it a presumption to demand more after he's received so much more generosity from the crew than he could have ever imagined, and probably expects Chip to someday find his true love and live happily ever after with them with Gill's blessing. So what do they do in this situation? Chip fantasises about Gillion being in love with him and making the first move, then feels disgusted at himself and beats himself up for feeling that way about his friend. Then Gill deliberately ignores any hints Chip might make that he likes Gill, because Gillion must be misinterpreting human behaviour again because in Gill's mind there’s no way Chip would be flirting with Gillion, Gillion never even considers that he might fill that role, because surely Chip is destined for another, a human from his own world. Then Chip interprets Gillion's intentional obliviousness as rejection, and a confirmation of all his negative beliefs about himself.

Suffer.