This Was A Great Read. “Laziness Does Not Exist” By Devon Price

Paw Grabowski / øjeRum

Finals had ended! I've visited an art exhibition in the uni, love the vibes. Also, being random I applied for International workshop and got shortlisted for online video interview (hopefully it went well but I didn't have any high hopes for it).

Crying

when georges bataille wrote, “no greater desire exists than a wounded person’s need for another wound” & when gillian flynn wrote, “a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort” & when ocean vuong wrote, “sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you’ve been ruined” & when lisa m. basile wrote, “did you inherit a sickness? did you blame god? do you believe in god? do you believe in yourself? are you still on fire? did you ever put out the fire?” & when stephen a. guirgis wrote, “why didn't you make me good enough so that you could’ve loved me?”

— Paul Guest, from “1987.”

27.03.2023 Due to having too much things in my hand, I have minor breakdown after Iftar. To cheer me up, I went to a coffee shop and get matcha latte with my sibling. (You can do it, break those massive task into smaller portions and do whenever whatever you can. Slowly surely, you can finish it.)

Somewhat my July reads, hopefully.

Beltane tarot reading (look at how well my tarot deck knows its owner) and my new bullet journal monthly cover page (I didn't feel like doing anything special so ai just had fun with the font).

01|05|2023

I am staring the month feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything I have to do for uni. I have yet to find a new routine for this next month of classes, and this is troubling me more than I expected. I did take today off from studying since it's an holiday here and starting from tomorrow I will be on my regular schedule. I plan on catching up some more with the history of religions lectures I have missed/ that have been uploaded online only. I don't know yet whehter I'll be done with them by the end of the morning when I'll have to commute to uni, but I plan on being caught up by the end of the week. I did a some planning to see everything I'll have to study in the next two months and I am not going to lie it's a lot, especially considering how little I can do during the week due to my long commute to uni. I am considering skipping classes on Wednesdays (that professor records lectures and uploades them online very quickly) in order to get more time to do everything. Since I will have lots to juggle these new few months I might even bring back a good old productivity challenge. I am also considering a few posts in which I explain how I am planning to tackle all this stuff I have to do.

Productivity:

finished the audiobook of Daisy Darker by Alice Feeney

wrote the first draft of its review

practiced Irish on duolingo

updadted my reading journal

created the first weekly spread for the new month in my bujo and did a bit of planning for what I have to study in the next couple of months (this definitely made me feel better about this overwhelming sensation, sitting down and planning calms my brain and I am trying to have faith in my organizational skills)

did some crosswords with my parents (it's something we often do during the holidays, but it'f fun doing them together)

did a tarot reading for a friend

Self care:

selpt in

took the day off since it's a holiday and I had no classes

read first thing in the morning

finally had the time to sit doen with a cup of tea and read the latest letter my beloved penpal sent me (and I plan on doing a couple of big letter writing session in the afternoons of this week when I get home from uni to answer both to them and to my digital penpal)

did a tarot reading for myself

📖:Daisy Darker by Alice Feeney

🎵:Good Enemy by PVRIS

Writing Advice from Anaïs Nin

The following are excerpts from a letter of advice she sent to a 17-year-old aspiring author by the name of Leonard W., whom she had taken under her wing as creative mentor.

I like to live always at the beginnings of life, not at their end. We all lose some of our faith under the oppression of mad leaders, insane history, pathologic cruelties of daily life.

Older people fall into rigid patterns. Curiosity, risk, exploration are forgotten by them. You have not yet discovered that you have a lot to give, and that the more you give the more riches you will find in yourself. It amazed me that you felt that each time you write a story you gave away one of your dreams and you felt the poorer for it.

You must not fear, hold back, count or be a miser with your thoughts and feelings.

It is also true that creation comes from an overflow, so you have to learn to intake, to imbibe, to nourish yourself and not be afraid of fullness. The fullness is like a tidal wave which then carries you, sweeps you into experience and into writing.

Permit yourself to flow and overflow, allow for the rise in temperature, all the expansions and intensifications.

Something is always born of excess: great art was born of great terrors, great loneliness, great inhibitions, instabilities, and it always balances them.

If it seems to you that I move in a world of certitudes, you, par contre, must benefit from the great privilege of youth, which is that you move in a world of mysteries. But both must be ruled by faith.