The “Are You Sure You’re Sure?” From Crowley During The Magic Shop Scene Still Kills Me Every Time,

The fact that we didn't get more minutes of 2007 Crowley is a bloody crime.

I mean. Look at that sluttiness.

They're the definition of gender envy.

Their full name is Anthony JenderEnvy Crowley btw.

And also very cute. 100% would shag against a fridge of something.

"that sounds..." "lonely? yeh."

And then they spent the next few thousands of years, making sure the other wasnt lonely. hush, shut up, be quiet, im ill

I headcanon that Crowley knows how to play piano because he loves music and HAVE YOU SEEN HIS HANDS and also Aziraphale would have hots for it.

And then Nina and Maggie are getting married and the man who was meant to play the piano for their first dance doesn’t show up so Crowley does it instead and he’s amazing.

And that’s how Aziraphale finds out that he can play.

And he needs to sit down.

good omens mascot: the bloodline of confusion

Assorted maggots, I know you know I'm a dumbass. It's a given, really. But a lot of y'all were scandalised when I didn't know who Terry Pratchett was. Let me raise you one better.

Today I met my cousin. I gave her the Good Omens saga to read, from Pt I to Pt III. The line she found the most shocking was, "Terry Pratchett is a guy." And not for the reasons you'd think.

So it turns out, my dear cousin, blood of mine, spent her life until today thinking Terry Pratchett is a kindly old woman.

She thought he looked something like Sudha Murty. For those of you who don't know her, she's the mother-in-law of Rishi Sunak, if that bloke still is the PM of Britain, idk they seem to be going through a lot of them really fast. Are you okay, Britain? Have a photo of her...

THIS. IS WHAT MY COUSIN. THOUGHT SIR TERRY PRATCHETT. LOOKED LIKE.

but THAT'S NOT ALL, DEAR MAGGOTS.

My cousin... looked at the cover design and typefaces of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's books. She felt they were similar.

So today, she hit me with the world-shattering, eyeball-extracting, brain-melting news that till today, she thought Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett were married. Because of their cover design fonts.

So really, nothing I ever do can upstage this. She thought Terry Pratchett was a kindly old lady who was married to Neil Gaiman because of title fonts.

Make of this what you will.

Me and my mom have two different options. This has torn our family apart. So we need you to settle this, who's better Crowley or Aziraphale?

Let’s make this easier. Let’s say that Crowley is water and light and Aziraphale is air and gravity. Now you just have to decide which one you need to survive here on Earth and you’ll be able to easily figure out who is better, Aziraphale or Crowley.

:___

I've been thinking about Aziraphale's sleep patterns or the lack of it

From what I gathered, it's a fanon consensus that Aziraphale straight up just doesn't sleep and I agree. The bed in the flat over the bookshop has never seen even a wink of Aziraphale unless he entered the room to deposit more books there

HOWEVER

I like to think he snoozes in the armchair in the bookshop. Like, he's reading, and he leans back a bit. He's so relaxed that he lets his head fall back and his eyes close, just to rest.

He doesn't sleep, no. He is still alert and paying attention to his surroundings but he is on that state between awake and asleep that's low-key kinda uncomfortable but that's the closest he ever came to be voluntarily unconcious so he doesn't know better and somehow kinda likes it

Crowley has never caught him like that cause as soon as the bell jingles over the door, Aziraphale springs back to motion

The first time he witnesses it is in the cottage. Crowley gets spooked and thinks Aziraphale passed out, running to him all alarmed, but even before he gets near, Aziraphale opens his eyes and looks up at him.

"Everything alright, dear?"

"You-! You were-! Ngk!" He takes a step closer, leaning over the angel. "Since when do you sleep?! I've never seen you sleep! Not in 6000 years!"

"Oh I wasn't asleep. I was just resting my eyes." He smiles, closing the book that was resting on his chest. "It's relaxing. I used to do it all the time back in the bookshop." Crowley deflates, sitting on the sofa near the armchair. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. 'M fine. Just...thought you passed out or something." He runs a hand through his hair before looking back at the angel. "How have I never seen you like this?"

"You've never lived with me before." Crowley rolls his eyes and playfully slaps Aziraphale's arm, the angel chuckles in return. "I would open my eyes as soon as I heard the Bentley outside or felt your presence before you entered the bookshop."

"Myeah, makes sense. Just could have given me a heads up."

"I'm sorry, dear boy. I'll make you a list of all my peculiarities just so you're not caught by surprise next time."

"You're ridiculous."

Azi *seduction mode on*: I wasn't always religious, but now I am, because you're the answer to all my-

Crowley: You're a literal angel, Aziraphale, what do you mean you weren't religious?

Azi:

Azi *trying again*: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Crowley: Angel, I didn't fall, I just sauntered vaguely-

Azi *slams down 101 pick up lines*: WILL YOU LET ME FLIRT-

-give me coffee-

aziraphale: *slumped, his head on the table *

nina, places coffee in front of him: you alright there?

aziraphale: *shakes his head*

nina, smirking: your fella wearing that turtleneck again?

aziraphale: *nods*

nina, takes the coffee away: I’ll get you something stronger

“My arms are too long” will undoubtedly go down as one of Doctor Who’s creepiest phrases, nevertheless this line is the one that haunts me:

There’s something about the casualness of how this line is spoken that’s so deeply sinister, and Tennant’s dead-eyed, subtly malicious stare is absolutely bone-chilling