Hear Me Out, Good Omens Au Where Everything Is The Same But Everyone Is A Silly Little Duck

There’s an interesting love story going on. It’s never explicit, but it’s there. - Michael Sheen and David Tennant @ NYCC 2018

I love how when they meet in fics Crowley tends to be a bit to rude and dismissive of Aziraphale in his 'im trying to be cool and mysterious' way but in the show on the wall in Eden Crowley is like 🐍🐍 omg an ANGEL 😍😍 let me tell u a joke and get a good look at u 👀 wanna make you laugh show me that beautiful smile 🤩🤩 ohh you're such a good angel don't worry sexy!! ❤️❤️ How about we criticize God's plan and run away together 😏😏😏

Aziraphale: Ahhh romance novels. Beautiful bad boys with their soft hearts for their heroines. Rescuing their loved ones. Always owning a cool car. Always secretive. Always powerful.

Aziraphale: *Looks at Crowley, the bad boy, with a soft heart for his heroine, always rescuing her, with his beloved Bentley, full of secrets and ready to stop the time to save Aziraphale and the World*

Aziraphale:

Imagine Crowley takes the Prince of Hell job because that is the only way to stop the World ending.

Aziraphale is keeping his job for the same reason.

Their relationship is quite cold, Aziraphale tries to get closer but it’s like Crowley changed. He really put a thick wall between them. He’s kind but he’s emotionless. Every time they finish talking business he just leaves.

With them in power and actually not being distracted by anything, they do sabotage the end of the World. They get rid of Metatron.

After, there is a wedding they get invited to. Maggie and Nina. Who would have thought. Aziraphale stands behind Maggie and Crowley stands behind Nina.

Aziraphale can’t stop looking at Crowley. He’s all in black and handsome, gold jewellery making him truly seem like a Prince.

But the Prince is not looking at him.

Aziraphale knows that Crowley was kicked out of his job just like him. They both had their pardons because they made everything better but they still sabotaged the end.

He didn’t think either of them minded being set free. That’s what they always wanted.

During the party, Aziraphale watches Crowley dancing with others; laughs and moves all around. He’s gorgeous.

During the meals, Crowley looks at Aziraphale, knowing that it will be that one moment where Aziraphale won’t be trying to look at him.

He’s glad they were sat on opposite sides of the room.

When the girls plan to throw flowers, Aziraphale sees Crowley lounging in the chair, glass of champagne in his hand, nails still the black claws.

Not making a move with everyone else to catch the bouquet.

Aziraphale swallows his tears back. He misses him so much it is painful. And seeing him, during a wedding day, so far away, when it could have been them…

And that’s when Nina turns and throws her bouquet right at Crowley, smashing the glass out of his hand.

“Nina!!!”

Aziraphale would have gasped in shock if he didn’t get hit with another bouquet, from Maggie.

“Maggie!”

They don’t really have time to swear before they’re both dragged outside and kicked out on the balcony, told to “fucking talk!” before the door shuts behind them and the party continues without them.

Crowley is mad, swearing at them, “have you seen this?!” as he’s taking leaves out of his hair.

Aziraphale is still holding his bouquet.

“Here.” He reaches out to take a flower out of Crowley’s hair.

And Crowley finally looks at him.

And Aziraphale feels that maybe, just maybe, they will finally talk.

You know what would be kind of interesting.

Assuming in the show Second Coming means damning Demons to eternal sulfur…

So we have Gabriel who’s openly in love with Beelzebub now. We have Aziraphale who took his job and let’s say he will not be told that carrying out the Second Coming means damning Crowley and other Demons to eternal torture.

But Gabriel can’t fucking have it now. He knows what it means. That’s Beelzebub who’d be taken away from him.

Imagine. Gabriel. The absolute prick of Season 1. Being the one grabbing Aziraphale by his fucking jacket and shouting at him that he wants to torture Gabriel’s love.

“I can’t believe you’d do this to Crowley, but I’m not letting you hurt Beelzebub!”

Things I Don't Think S3 Will Give Us (even if I really want them)

More than 2 Aziracrow kisses (I would like them to make out for 6 episodes but that's unlikely)

Aziracrow sex scene (though I wish they would)

An apology dance in present day (but I think we'll see 1650)

Crowley's pre-Fall identity (probably just some hints and that's it)

Pick up right from where S2 finished (I hate the thought of them apart for so long after The Kiss)

Crowley or Azi being tortured (this is still a comedy yo)

Aziracrow turning mortal (hate this idea)

Azi or Crowley becoming demon or angel respectively (hate this idea, they're perfect as they are)

Things I'm On The Fence About If It Will Happen or Not in S3

Aziracrow hug (please god let them hug)

Azi or Crowley death (albeit temporary)

An appearance from Jesus, God - or any of the characters from S1 not in S2 e.g. Adam, Horsemen

Narration (where's God yo?)

Scenes in Crowley's flat

Crowley sleeping (we were robbed in S1)

More long haired Crowley (I miss her) (if yes, it'd likely be through flashbacks)

Any major, permanent character deaths (when has this ever happened so far? except Ligur but ehhh)

Gabriel & Beelzebub appearing

Nina & Maggie appearing

Azi's eyes changing to purple while Supreme Archangel

Things I Think S3 Will Give Us

A happy, South Downs cottage ending for Aziracrow

More flashbacks including Blitz part 3 (I'm also hoping for 1650)

2nd Aziracrow kiss (YESSSSSSSSSS)

More Azi magic

A very funny, well thought out storyline with a satisfying conclusion, visually stunning, awesome costumes and makeup, incredible acting & a beautiful score

I love it when in fics aziraphale expects crowley to kiss him passionately and hard and tempting but then crowley holds aziraphale’s cheeks between his fingertips the way you hold the finest glass and the kiss is delicate and heartbreakingly breakable i am so weak for it

They’re not talking to each other

-St James‘s park, London

Good Omens | 1.02 The Book