Atsushi—the One To Finally Understand Akutagawa’s Humanity. Now Seeing His Backstory, Witnessing

Look at his face. Look at his sorrow

The absolute most solemn look I've seen on Akutagawa, where he realizes Atsushi wasn't just some beast he could kill. Atsushi wasn't just an obstacle or a test, because Atsushi is human

Akutagawa sees that in him

I have no idea how Asagiri is gonna handle the end of the six months deal, knowing him it's going to be what literally no one could've expected, but the premise really interests me now. It always did beforehand, but still, now we know more about how Akutagawa feels about Atsushi. And Akutagawa doesn't know it yet, but Atsushi witnessed his past and trauma. They're bonded, connected and understand each other on yet another level now

And genuinely, I don't think Akutagawa can kill Atsushi

What do you mean. What do you mean Akutagawa didn't know why Atsushi saved him. What do you mean Atsushi saw how Dazai treated Akutagawa, thus adding a new layer of understanding between them. What do you mean Akutagawa wanted to kill Atsushi for fear he would never be accepted "and then—" And then what, you fell in love??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN DAZAI WAS THE DIRECTOR BECAUSE ATSUSHI TOO HAS TO ACCEPT HIS PAST—

I absolutely looooove your sskk posts, thank you for writing about them and analysing them so well. You’ve helped me understand them so much more❤️

For the ask, what are your favourite fics for them👀

I see so many people analyze Bsd characters and relationships (they're all amazing), glad I can contribute with some sskk analysations :> (I do do other analysations ofc, but they're mostly in rants to my friends about Bsd characters 😔)

I read a lot of fanfiction (it is the backbone of my sanity<3) so I skedaddled over to Ao3 to get a list of my favorite fics/oneshots for this ask :D

I won't go into detail about every oneshot/fic on this (bc then we'd be here all day lmao) so please read the tags of the fics once you look them up<33

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The Air we Breathe - by GiftedEcho

I love you more when you never hide your heart - by wowie_me

Weak Inhibitions - by StickyRice_94

i can taste it in your tears - by Sorry_I_Panicked

trapped in grief - by illiterate_hermit_crab

surprise birthday, birthday surprise - by space_ace00

all is finally quiet - by auroraheart

i want to be somebody to someone (somebody to you) - GhouliGhost (this fic is locked so only people with Ao3 accs can read it)

vienna waits for you - by nemui (ribbonelle) (this fic is locked so only people with Ao3 accs can read it)

The Last Time - by Nqnameiiis7

Love me all night long - by Funky_Unravel

In this darkness, light me - by Funky_Unravel

A Christmas Night of Firsts - by GojosFunkyBitchGlasses

(Zoo)Keeper of My Heart - by GojosFunkyBitchGlasses

Hushed secrets (keep the heart at bay) - by Funky_Unravel

Smile for the Camera! - by SadDetectives

If Our Love's Insanity (Why Are You My Clarity) - by BuryYourDoves

the memory of your name - by Sorry_I_Panicked

Broken Record - by illiterate_hermit_crab

I Say, Take Me Out! - by Thunderbirds_and_Lightning

i was lost within the darkness (but then i found you) - by EmeraldEclipse

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Sorry the list is kinda short 😭 I've read a lot more good fics and oneshots but these were some of the ones I found in my bookmarks (also I read on Ao3 for quite a long time before I got an account because I didn't really have any reason to get an account until I wanted to start posting [yes I'm an Ao3 author], so there's a lot of lost fics that I read but can't find again 😭🙏 it haunts me to this day)

Also if anyone seeing this post has any sskk fic and/or oneshot recs (even if it's your oneshot fic or oneshot lol), please comment bc I need more sskk content in my life :]

And I'm sorry there's not much angst on this fic and oneshot list, I can never find enough sskk angst 😔

Oh and here's some of my sskk works! (yes I will be shameless and put them here muahahaha);

My Heart Didn't Start Until I Met You - by MikayuuMouse

The Ring Reminds Me of You - by MikayuuMouse

Wrapped Up Like a Present - by MikayuuMouse

Shin Soukoku Oneshots— Open For Requests! - by MikayuuMouse

(I promise I'm gonna update the Requests sskk book soon 🙏🙏)

And thank you, anon, for asking this so I could share of Ao3's lovely sskk works with the Internet :> please support the authors and their wonderful fanfiction! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

𐙚₊˚⊹♡

@mi1ikan

*Mrrrr*

I forgor to post this here 😭

peter - taylor swift

fic planning be like:

Akutagawa really likes wrapping Rashomon around Atsushi's neck...

Imagine you are Atsushi. You think you know a man. You think you see him for who he is- bleeding claws and all. You think that you are sure in his character and in his entirety. You think that after so many battles and so much death, there is nothing else for you to know.

You are wrong.

You think the two of you could not be more different or distant if you tried. You think that despite any change you may have brought, he is still someone you could never understand. You've come to terms with the idea that you both are simply two sides of the same coin.

You are wrong.

And it takes an unfeeling blade for you to finally learn how much so.

You learn that you only vaguely knew him- a shadow blurred across your vision. You learn his claws are not simply bloodied from pain caused but from pain given- from climbing a mountain insurmountable even to one as strong as him. You learn that you knew his surface but not his core- something no battle had ever taught you. There is so much you have yet to know.

So, you follow.

You learn the two of you are not so very different, the distance no more than a few steps. You learn that any change you brought in him was because, unknowingly, you were speaking a language that you didn't know he spoke right back. You learn that the hate that he held for you was born of a desire just as your own.

So, you follow.

And you learn that there was never a coin at all, just a mirror- a thing made of broken edges, bruised bones, and hateful words. And you learn there were never two sides, simply two caged and cornered animals staring back at the other- hearts bleeding and hands grasping.

Grasping for acknowledgment, for acceptance, for a reason, for permission, for someone to tell them they were finally enough.

You stare at the man in the mirror, a dark anger of a person- all sharp points and serrated defenses- and can see yourself in his eyes. Eyes that don't look at you the same way they used to.

You wonder: when he looks in this mirror, does he see the same?

You will simply have to ask him once you return.

Imagine you are Atsushi. You have seen the heart of a man. A man with whom you cannot accurately describe your relationship- no word seems precise enough nor powerful enough. You still don't fully understand him. He still confuses you, annoys you, and causes an itch you cannot seem to scratch.

But none of that matters because you have already decided he is worth sacrificing for. Becuase he is Ryuunosuke Akutagawa.

You have already made it to the door that- if done right -will guide you back to him, aided by the ghosts of his past and yours.

And so, you place your hands upon the entrance and push.