Hey Guys Need Some Advice I Just Started Working At A Daycare And The Little Children Just Raised Their

People who call u without warning for non serious reasons are so scary like if you call me without texting me first im fully assuming you’re in a saw trap or something

I love watching documentaries about amusement park accidents because all of the park officials are saying, "Oh, dear god, none of us could have anticipated that the roller coaster car would detach, this is a freak accident, an act of god!" and then the narrator is like "The Dicktwister 9000 was a known safety hazard and rabies vector since its inception. It was designed by disgraced Cirque du Soleil clown John Roosters, who had never seen a math textbook."

if im being totally honest, the biggest reason I wish people on this website had paid more attention in english class and had reading comprehension is so that they would understand when and why jokes are funny. Maybe if y'all understood that a line like "None of these words are in the bible" is only funny because its totally unexpected. Or maybe if y'all understood how to construct jokes for yourself, we wouldn't have so many comments like "OP check your carbon monoxide detector" because you'd ALSO know how to build a joke. but anyways its the weekend so im fine about this. I'm normal about this. im NOT bothered.

autistically scrolls through the notes of a silly post hoping someone made a comment that explains the joke to me

my chemical romance is the funniest and weirdest band ever. They’re all fucking losers who would genuinely rather play dnd than hook up with groupies. The singer used to work at Cartoon Network. The bassist is on the fbi watchlist for crimes against disney. One guitarist is a guitar god but he also used to keep a little action figure of spiderman in his pocket all the time, the other is like a little lap dog of a man, but he’s also on the fbi watchlist for death threats against a us president. They refused to be on the twilight soundtrack, one of the most popular franchises at the time but then they preformed on yo gabba gabba and re-recorded one of their songs in simlish.

I admit to having plenty of faults. I’m an imperfect person. But at least I don’t say “whoa what kinda drugs were they on when they made this?” when I see something with the slightest hint of surrealism

“you don’t like the proliferation of terms like Unalive outside of TikTok because you realize that you’re aging out of youth culture and it makes you uncomfortable!”

no I don’t like it because there’s something INCREDIBLY dystopian about being forced to soften terms for basic parts of the human experience like death and sex (and even more so terms for oppressed minorities- call me a “le-dollar sign-bian” and I will bite you) purely because advertisers and corporations demand it

many inventions…. must continue research