Being A Female Knight Fucking Sucks. Every Squire Boy I Get Turns Out To Be An Adult Woman With Short

SCARY INMATE: welcome to the warriors prison what are you in for?

ME: flowing water, still rock. a sunlit meadow and a gentle breeze

GRUFF INMATE: she's one o' them poets! get 'er, lads!

[I swiftly dispatch them with a flurry of blows]

ME: even a delicate rose has thorns..

Ophelia, friedrich wilhelm theodor heyser // ophelia, jean-baptiste bertrand // ophelia, sir john everett millais // ophelia, léopold burthe // ophelia, theodor von der beek.

I feel like if humans swallowed rocks like birds do to help grind up food we'd have so much fun with it.

Can just imagine all the girlies on tiktok going "I know this is a bit controversial but I honestly love using limestone as a gastrolith. Not only can you readily forage it but they are just so pretty when smoothed out after regurgitating them"

and then all the comments would be like " girl 😭 😭 calcite dissolves in stomach acid!! Just use quartz if you want a pretty gastrolith like 💀"

The everest chronicles

I swear to god that green day has had this exact same "scandal" like five times now.

hello skinny internet user. there is a bomb strapped to your chest. in front of you is fanart of a fat character. compliment them without using the words "soft", "huggable", or "cuddly". you have 30 minutes. if you fail to acknowledge fat people as actual human beings and not living teddy bears you will be blown up. the clock is ticking.

his name is orson welles because I watch his movies and go Well that was orsome

I admit to having plenty of faults. I’m an imperfect person. But at least I don’t say “whoa what kinda drugs were they on when they made this?” when I see something with the slightest hint of surrealism

no one gets u like I do babe